The next day at work Jo said to me. “There’s no way we can get your car ready for High Edge on Saturday so it’s not worth us even trying. Do you want us to try to trim mine back for tarmac?”
I shook my head. We’d made some fairly irreversible changes to her car as a permanent shale set up and it didn’t seem worth the hassle. “I’ll resign myself to sitting this one out. I’ll go along to help Pete out, but otherwise, let’s have the week off shall we?”
She looked relieved.
On Wednesday I hid in my room to watch Thrills and Spills on my own on my laptop. Quinn and Kes banged on the door and told me to come out and watch it with them on the sofa in the living area, but I just needed to be alone.
They dedicated the whole episode to me. Firstly the race accident and explosion and the full word for word unedited encounter between me and Quinn after. They showed me walking away and Quinn driving off, then they cut straight to a clip from one of the earliest news broadcast where they announce the news about the Super Puma ditching in the sea and show me blowing that kiss. And then they just followed it right through in detail from my defiant speech before getting on the plane, to my talks with the officials, my wait for news, our wait on the rainy tarmac, Dad getting off the copter, me running to him, our verbal exchange and my last comment about Dad taking everything in his stride.
After the music came up, I noticed that things were quite subdued outside my room between Kes and Quinn. They didn’t try to knock on my door or anything. Half an hour after the programme Dad rang me.
“You could have warned us!”
“About what Dad?”
“About all that discussion about your mother… Pauline went completely hysterical. I’ve only just calmed her down and got her to go and lie down for a bit.”
“Why’d it have that effect on her?” I said, puzzled.
“She’s a bit sensitive you know – a bit over imaginative – it was very graphic the way you told it…”
“I’m sorry Dad, it’s just you saw how they kept pushing me…”
“No wonder you didn’t speak for a year afterwards…” He said.
“Didn’t I?” I remembered the year quite vividly, but not the fact that I never spoke.
“I had no idea about you being covered in…” he trailed off. “I mean, the hospital told me to bring some clothes for you. I suppose they must have undressed you to check you had no injuries then thrown your clothes out…”
I had a sudden vague memory of fighting some hospital staff tooth and nail as they tried to take my clothes off, and biting someone really hard.
“And when I arrived you just threw off the blanket they’d put round you and ran naked towards me and I just wrapped you in my coat and took you home like that. Con had driven me there because of course our own car was completely cream crackered. Jean and Howard were looking after Jamie, they’d picked him up from nursery and kept him for the night, and you and I spent the night curled up together in my bed in a complete daze.”
“Oh Dad…” I said. I didn’t remember any of that last bit.
“Bit freaky you having that dream at the moment the helicopter came down,” Dad changed the subject.
“No freakier than you knowing when me and mum had the accident…” I pointed out.
We were both silent.
“Well, you’re still with us and that’s all that matters now,” I said. There was something I realised I hadn’t said to him when he got off the copter. “I love you Dad.”
His voice went all gruff. “I love you too, lass.” And we rang off.
On the way to Buxton Raceway on Saturday, as Paul slowed down and changed gear at some traffic lights he said to me, “Someone’s offered to loan you a car today, Eve. They’ve done a really quick paint job on the roof and slapped your name and number on the aerofoil and it’ll be waiting for you there…”
“Really?” I said, a bit taken aback. Suddenly I remembered Jo tossing all my race gear into the back of the Beast and saying ‘just in case’ when I glanced at her. It seemed like they already knew about it so I couldn’t fathom why they hadn’t told me. Maybe it hadn’t been confirmed until the last minute and they didn’t want me to get my hopes up? I glanced at Pete on my left. He was staring studiously out of the side window. Paul appeared to be concentrating on pulling us smoothly away from the lights, glancing frowningly in the mirror. Paul’s tone had been a bit cagey and off putting and neither of them seemed to be inclined to volunteer any more information, so I figured I needed to shut up. I re-adjusted my mood to the news I was now to be racing.
The car was sitting ready in our pit. It was a Daz Kitson. Blue and red, with my name and number on it. I thoughtfully ran a finger along the roof. These were some of the fastest tarmac cars out there on the track. The best. I had better make the most of my one day’s usage of it.
As Pete and I got into our cars together as we were both in the same heat, I smiled at him. He glanced at me like he was wondering what I was thinking. I was thinking – ‘I’m going to win this’ but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
No matter that I’d never driven the car before, it responded like a dream to my every signal to it, like we’d known each other all our lives. I put my foot down and exploded through the pack, cannoning everyone out of my way like billiard balls. Pete must have gone past right at the beginning in one of the initial snarl ups in the middle ranks where I started up, but now I shot up behind him and gave him such a crack at exactly the right angle so he was thrown right out and bounced off the barrier. Once I was through to the front I stayed there and no-one even came near me.
“Well!” Was all Paul said when I returned to the pits. “Looks like it’s a decent car…”
I sat on the steps and ignored everyone, knees drawn up, head on my knees. I went to the toilet. Drank a coffee. Ate a Snickers bar. Went out for the Final.
This time Tyler was in it. This was my one chance to show him. I put my foot down and charged. This time some of the slower cars just got out of my way to save tangling with me. That was a bonus. I reached Tyler’s back bumper. He was in the lead. He put his foot down and slewed perfectly round the corner. I did the same. I was still right up his back bumper. He speeded up on the straight. So did I. He suddenly slowed down a bit. I slowed down too, biding my time. He was messing with me. If I tried to overtake on the outside he would swing out and ram me. There was no room on the inside. He speeded up, I speeded up. He slowed down, I slowed down. I stalked him persistently, not allowing him to tempt me into getting into his line of fire. On the very last corner he took it slightly wide. The space he left was exactly a car’s width by a hairsbreadth. Without hesitation I shot through and was a bonnet ahead of him as the black and white chequers were waved.
When we drew up, Tyler pulled up beside me.
“Why did you do that?” I attacked him. “You deliberately let me past! Why?” I slapped at the wheel in annoyed frustration.
He gave me a slight smile but didn’t answer me. “New car?” He remarked instead.
“Just on loan for the day…” I said.
“So you’re making the most of it?” He teased.
I finally smiled back at him, “I’m never one to waste an opportunity…”
“See you for a re-run in the Grand National,” he flipped back at me and pulled away to file out to the pits.
Back with Pete and Paul I was still fuming. “Why’d he do that? Why’d he let me win? He did it deliberately! Just left an exact car’s width on the last corner!”
Pete was looking flummoxed but Paul said thoughtfully, “He was testing you out. Seeing if you had the guts to do it. You had a millisecond to make the decision, if you hadn’t have gone immediately that the space opened up you wouldn’t have won. A split second of indecision, a failure of nerve, and you would have missed the moment. He was testing your reactions and judgement and driving skills. A centimetre either way on that gap he left you and you would have crashed out or bumped into him. He kn
ew the car was capable of it, but wanted to know if you were…”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I looked strangely at Paul.
“He’s training you up, Eve…”
“Right…” I said uncertainly. I wondered what would happen in the next race.
The green flag went and so did we. Cars parted like the Red Sea before me or else I bashed them out of the way. I noticed that Pete just moved out of my way this time. Tyler gave me a tap as he passed. You know, a sort of I’m here now catch me if you dare signal. Right, you’re for it, I thought and rammed my foot through the floor following closely in his wake as he scattered the few left ahead of us. And then it was just us. The silver roof made a lunge for my back trying to cannon me into Tyler to take us both out at the same time but Tyler moved over swiftly to give me room to whisk my back end out of harm’s way. The silver then went to pass us both on the outside and Tyler took him out which held him up by a second or so, leaving me in the lead. Tyler was filling my rear view mirror, I screamed away, keeping tight and neat into the corners. He was biding his time. Every time he feinted one way or the other as though to pass, I’d block him. There was no point in tensing for the impact that surely must come, I must drive as though it wouldn’t. I didn’t allow him the chance to pass on the inside so he either had to bash me, or pass on the outside. He sort of did both. On the last straight he went to go past me on the outside, so I pushed the car out on a widening arc to shove him over to which he responded by giving me a bash which didn’t push me much off line, I shoved back harder and we ended up skidding sideways across the finish line, almost locked together and both hitting the barrier at the end, him first, then me. Unfortunately at the angle we’d skidded, he went sideways through the flag before myself. We extricated the cars from each other and I drove alongside him. Our eyes met and I burst out laughing.
“That was fun!” I remarked.
“Car obviously suits you,” he commented. His eyes were smiling.
“Yes,” I patted the wheel wistfully. “It’s a lovely car…”
“You ought to ask if you can buy it off the owner,” he suggested.
I frowned. “I don’t think that’s an option. It’s just a loan…”
He put the car back in gear and went to move off. “I should speak to Paul about whether you can try and buy it.” And then he disappeared off into the queue to leave for the pits.
Back at our pit, Paul was smiling. “Well Eve?” He prompted.
I pulled off my helmet and balaclava and gloves. I grinned at him. “That was fun,” I said. “I really enjoyed that!”
Paul laughed. “Yes, I could see that.”
I clambered out through the window and Pete drew up. “Phew, you two were mucking about something rotten!”
I stretched and sighed happily. Paul’s eyes were amused as they rested on me. He and Pete exchanged glances as Pete got out. “Well what do you think, son?”
“I think we should get her that car,” Pete said in definite tones.
I glanced swiftly at Paul. “Well, Eve? Do you want us to ask if we can buy the car?”
“I didn’t know that was an option,” I said. “Tyler said I ought to ask you if we could buy it, but I thought it was just on loan…”
“Tyler said that?” Paul ascertained.
I nodded. “Said I ought to ask if I could buy it off the owner…”
Paul raised his eyebrows at Pete. “I think that’s our signal then, don’t you?”
Pete gave a thumbs up and Paul dived off into the crowds.
While he was gone Pete gave me a hug. “Nice to see you enjoying yourself instead of kicking tyres in paroxysms of frustration.”
“You just got out my way this time-” I observed.
He suppressed a smile. “You would have too, if you’d seen the look on your face before the start of the race. You were a woman on a mission and woe betide anyone who stood in your way. I know which side my bread is buttered!” He gave me a snog.
“Oy you two, get a room!” Paul’s voice made us jump guiltily apart. We normally behaved most professionally while out on the track.
“Well?” Pete raised his eyebrows at his Dad.
“Congratulations, Eve, you have a new car.”
Pete high fived me and I laughed happily, then I quickly sobered up, “How am I going to pay for it though?”
Paul said, “In instalments, but beyond that, I’ve no idea. But never mind, we’ll work that out… Come on, let’s load them up. It’s coming home with us.”
As we walked back in to the Sattertwaites’, Jo asked immediately, “So how did it go?”
“Eve came first in the heat, first in the Final and second in the Grand National,” Pete informed her.
Jo stared at us. “Are you serious?”
“Yep,” Pete responded. “The car’s great, they were a perfect match.”
Paul did his usual and walked straight to the kettle. “So we’ve bought it for her…”
Jo raised impressed eyebrows. “So he was willing to sell it to her was he?”
I looked suspiciously from one face to the other. “There’s something you’ve not been telling me about all this isn’t there?” I accused. “Come on, spill it!”
Paul rubbed at his neck in that family gesture of theirs. “It’s Tyler’s car that he was driving last year. He always keeps his previous car on in reserve for a bit, just in case he needs to go back to it. He didn’t want you to know who was loaning it to you – told us not to say.”
I stared round at their faces. “Well I suppose that explains at last what the hell’s been going on today what with all Tyler’s messing around with me and cryptic remarks!” I made some small muffled explosive noises whilst I sorted out how cross/pleased/embarrassed/overwhelmed I was and then I walked round and kissed them all in turn. “You’re all absolutely wonderful, you know that?” I told them.
“Oh Eve, you really are so-” Jo wiped her kiss off and stopped short in her sentence. “No, sorry, you’re not,” she seemed to change her mind and gave me a swift hug. “You just aren’t afraid to say aloud what you really think…”
I spent Sunday tinkering about with my new car. Observing carefully how Tyler had it set up, asking Paul’s advice about this and that. Poking about. I had to keep it now in this tip top racing set up. I’d been offered a really big chance with this new car and I mustn’t blow it.
Much of the time I just sat cross legged in front of it and smiled at it. Later I found out Jo had sneaked in and taken some photos of me and updated my racing Facebook page with a picture of me in a happy reverie admiring my new car. We all agreed to be a bit careful how we presented the purchase, so it wouldn’t seem to others on the circuit like favouritism from Tyler.
Later she came back in and sat down on the bench. “I’m going to block Eve’s Facebook page from any comments, it’s going to be read only. I just can’t cope anymore.”
I looked up from where I was sitting cross legged on the floor. “Why what’s been happening?”
“Ever since your Dad went missing you’ve been getting hundreds and hundreds of messages every day. Obviously I’ve posted an ‘Eve thanks you for your kind wishes’ sort of message, ‘her Dad’s fine’ and all that but then there’s all the other stuff – the wierdos – from the ‘I want to shag you’ to the outright rape threats-”
I froze in shock. “The what?” I said.
Pete absolutely glared at Jo. He came straight over to me, sat down on the concrete floor behind me, put his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “It’s ok Eve, they don’t really mean it! They’re just nasty people who want to upset everyone. They wouldn’t really do it. They’re just sickos.”
“Yeah, they’re just internet Trolls,” Jo dismissed, “you hear about them all the time. Half the time they turn out to be disturbed women and not even men at all…”
“So what do these threats say?” I demanded, my heart pounding.
Jo shrugged, “Standard fare from what
I understand. Prominent women campaigners and females in the public eye all get the same sort of thing… I’ll fucking get you one dark night and effing rape you, you effing this that and the other…”
“Just sodding shut up will you!” Pete launched at Jo. “She doesn’t need to hear any of this! I thought we’d agreed that we wouldn’t tell her!”
Paul walked in. “What’s going on?” He asked sharply.
Pete looked furious. “I’m seriously hacked off with Jo, that’s what!”
“Eve’s just over-reacting again,” Jo snapped. “She’s not a child! She’s just going to have to take the rough with the smooth!”
“Just piss off Jo!” Pete yelled at her.
She gave him a filthy look and stormed out.
There was a long silence. Pete hugged me and said nothing. Paul looked at us with his hands on his hips. “Well? I’m waiting…”
“Jo just made an executive decision to tell Eve in a very graphic way about all the rape threats she’s been getting…” Pete said at last.
Paul sat down on the bench and patted the place beside him. “Come here Eve.” His tone was kindly but authoritative.
I got up rather reluctantly and went to sit by him. He put an arm around my shoulder. “You need to understand Eve, that for every rape threat you get fifty nice supportive comments from people who think you’re great and from people who wish you well. But unfortunately there’s no way of policing the internet and some people just sit around all day trying to think up the most horrible things to say just to irritate all the well wishers because all the soppiness gets right up their nose. Do you understand that?”
I nodded. I had spent most of my early teens deliberately getting right up people’s noses and calibrating my verbal output to be precisely the most shocking or annoying possible to the people around me. I could hit the target note every time.
Thrills and Spills Page 14
