Perhaps he would have said something in the pause that followed; but by that time Alta was in the doorway. ‘Come and see the puppies,’ she called, and I heard Lucian go to her. Had he hesitated, waiting for me to acknowledge him? I didn’t care. I split another three logs before I went into the stable after them.
‘She’s going to have a big black patch, look,’ Alta was saying, cupping the puppy gently against her chest. ‘Here. Hold her.’
‘What if I drop her?’
‘You won’t,’ Alta said. ‘There. Isn’t she sweet? What are you going to call her?’
‘I hadn’t thought about it.’ He lifted the puppy awkwardly. ‘You’re right, she looks like someone’s spilt something on her. An ink-stain. I suppose we could call her—’
‘You’re not going to call her Inkstain,’ I said.
He glanced round; he hadn’t known I was there. ‘I wasn’t suggesting we should. How about Spatter? Or Blot?’
‘Splotch,’ Alta said. The puppy opened its mouth and yawned, as if it had heard, and Alta giggled. ‘There, you see? Splotch.’
So Splotch it was. Darnay didn’t seem to care; or at least, he only smiled when Alta smiled, as if all that mattered was that she’d suggested it. He treated the pup like a baby – tentatively, deferring to Alta on everything – and I despised him for it. It was so obvious what he was doing: every half-smile, every tender tap on the puppy’s nose was for Alta’s benefit. And when he came to our farm – once every couple of days, after that – it was to see Alta, not the puppy. When her cough got worse again and she had to go back to bed for a week he spent hours at her bedside, playing games and teasing her while she gorged herself on the chocolates he’d ordered from Castleford.
I stayed away, at first. If he had to be here, I didn’t want to see them together. But after a week or so, Ma pulled me into the pantry as I went past, and shut the door behind me with a click. ‘Emmett? I need to have a word with you.’
‘What? In here? It’s freezing.’
‘It won’t take long. It’s about Alta. And – Mr Darnay.’
Mr Darnay. My feelings must have shown on my face, because she cut me off before I could answer.
‘Listen to me, Emmett. I know you don’t like him – don’t look like that, do you think we haven’t noticed? – but you have to think of Alta.’
‘I am thinking of Alta, that’s exactly why—’
‘This might be a chance for her. If he falls in love with her—’
‘That’s mad! He won’t.’
‘I know it’s only a chance. But think of what it could do for her, Em. If he married her … It happens! Not often, I know, but she’s very beautiful, and he just might. He’s rich, and he’s good-looking, and he’s charming, and he’s young. She won’t get a better opportunity than this. Don’t ruin it.’
‘You want to sell her at the highest possible price.’
Ma tugged one earlobe, pinching it until her fingernail left a tiny red crescent. At last she said, ‘I don’t expect you to understand. You’re very naive, Emmett. Even more naive than Alta. But nevertheless I need your help.’
‘Help? What should I do, sing her praises to him? Tell him she’d be a fantastic f—’
‘Don’t you dare!’
There was a silence. I pushed my hands into my pockets and took a deep breath. ‘What do you want me to do?’
‘Contrary to what you seem to believe,’ she said, with an edge to her voice, ‘we love Alta dearly and we don’t want her to get hurt. I hope, I desperately hope that Mr Darnay might change her life. But if he doesn’t, I don’t want her reputation to suffer. We want to know that she’s never – that no matter how she feels, she’s never tempted to … fall.’
‘She thinks she loves him,’ I said. ‘Of course she’s going to be tempted to fall.’
‘Well, then. All we want you to do is to … keep an eye on them. To make sure she doesn’t.’
‘You want me to chaperone them? I have work to do, Ma, I don’t sit around all day with my tatting!’
‘Don’t be silly, Emmett. I know you’re busy. I don’t mean all the time. Just now and then, when you have a spare moment, and they’re alone together. We have to protect her.’
I clenched my fists in my pockets and stared past her at a jar of preserved medlars. Split-arses, they’d called them at school. You had to let them rot before you could get your teeth into them.
‘Ma … she’ll get her heart broken.’
‘No one ever died of a broken heart.’
‘She’s only a child.’
‘I was only a year older than her when I married your father. And this is a wonderful chance, Emmett. Can’t you see that? What if someone offered you a better life?’
‘If it was Darnay offering, I’d tell him where to …’ Ma’s eyes narrowed, and I caught myself in time. ‘I’d say no.’
Ma sighed, picked up a couple of jars and pushed past me. In a brisk, brittle tone, she said, ‘Just make sure they know you might walk in unexpectedly, Emmett. Will you do that, please?’
‘All right,’ I said. But she’d already gone.
I obeyed her. I didn’t want to; I had to steel myself to it, at first, and every time I walked up the stairs to Alta’s room I was already begrudging the time I was wasting on them. People thought winter was the quiet season on a farm, but if you didn’t get the repairs and maintenance done before the spring came you’d be cursing – or rather, Pa would be cursing at me. And I resented Darnay’s presence for other reasons, too – the way he looked at me, the way I was conscious of the stink of pig-muck or oil or sweat clinging to my shirt, the way he made my stomach churn. Somehow I always knew when he was under our roof, even when I hadn’t seen him arrive. I used to hope that I’d catch him out, so I could tell him to leave and never come back; but he never looked guilty, or as though he had anything to hide. That was another thing I distrusted, that he never did anything more than tug Alta’s plait or flick her cheek with his finger. He was too brotherly, as if she was nothing but a child.
But as the days went on I found myself spending more and more time with them. There were a few chores, after all, that I could bring inside. As the days grew shorter I was glad to sit in the lamplight, where I could see to mend tack or whittle trennels or pore over the seed catalogue, swotting for a long argument with Pa about the best proportions of fescue and timothy grass. It was bitterly cold – I’d brought Springle and the pups inside, so that their box could sit by the range – but because Alta was convalescing she always had a good fire in the grate. And sometimes it was almost pleasant: the warmth, Alta and Darnay talking in low voices or silently absorbed in a game, Darnay whistling a soft melody between his teeth while Alta made a mess of her embroidery. Sometimes, in spite of everything, I had to clench my jaw to stop myself laughing at something he’d said. Sometimes I had to dig my nails into my palms to remind myself not to let him charm me too.
It was one afternoon, nearly past sunset, and Alta had been in a bad mood all day. She’d tried not to show it in front of Darnay, but I knew the signs: she was curling a lock of hair jerkily round her finger, and now, suddenly, she was staring at me. ‘Don’t you have something better to do, Emmett?’
‘What?’ I’d been watching the game of patience Darnay had laid out on her quilt, biting my tongue when he missed a jack of hearts that would have freed up a whole column.
‘Why don’t you go and do something useful? You don’t have to stay here if you’re bored.’
‘I’m fine, thanks.’
‘You’re sitting there glowering.’
I felt the blood come into my cheeks. Darnay had paused in his game; now he was looking from Alta to me, with a crease between his eyebrows. I’d tried so hard, these last few weeks, not to show how I felt about him. ‘Shut up, Alta.’
‘No one’s making you sit here. Lucian is too well brought-up to say anything, but—’
‘Alta.’ Darnay tapped his cards into a pile. ‘I’m fine.’
‘I live here,’ I said. ‘I’ve got every right—’
‘Don’t you dare move, Lucian! I forbid you to go. Emmett, why don’t you just—’
‘Alta, you don’t need to ask anyone to leave on my account,’ Darnay said. He met my eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’
I stared back at him. ‘What for?’
‘I only – all I meant was …’ He blew out his breath through his teeth. There was a silence. He scraped the cards together into a pack without looking up. ‘Listen, Alta, it’s getting late. I’ll be back tomorrow.’
‘No!’ She grabbed his sleeve and looked up at him, wide-eyed. ‘Please don’t go yet.’
He shot me a look and I shrugged. Then, abruptly, he shoved the pack of cards at me. ‘Shuffle those, will you?’ He sat down and leant towards Alta, cupping her face gently so that she had to look straight at him. ‘It’s not Emmett who’s being rude, it’s you,’ he said. ‘Stop it.’
‘Wh-what?’
‘I’m fine. Emmett’s fine. Either you behave, or we both go.’
She blinked at him, utterly bewildered; then, to my surprise, she laughed a little, fluttering her eyelashes. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry, Lucian.’
‘It’s all right.’ He laughed too and tapped her nose with his forefinger. ‘Now,’ he said. ‘Let me tell your fortune. Let’s have a look.’ He took the cards and laid four in a line on the quilt. As he laid them out I saw her brush her own cheek as if she could still feel his touch. He raised his head. ‘Two of spades, two of hearts, knave of spades, ten of spades. Hmmm. Interesting.’
‘Is that bad?’
‘No,’ he said, ‘not at all.’ He pointed at the two of hearts. ‘That’s love. The two of spades before it means … I’m not sure. Maybe that you’ll fight. Or you won’t realise at first that’s it’s true love. And the knave of spades … A dark young man. You’re going to fall in love with a dark young man. And he’ll love you back. How’s that?’
She looked at him, drawing in her breath. She wasn’t smiling. For a moment I glimpsed the woman she would be. ‘Then what?’ she said.
‘Then …’ He shuffled the cards back into the pack. ‘That’s as far as it goes,’ he said lightly, and grinned at her. ‘I expect you’ll live happily ever after. Now, you lie there and think about that, and I’ll be back tomorrow. And I’ll see if I can bring some of those candied fruits you like. All right?’ He stood up.
She nodded. That odd, adult look was still on her face, like a white light shining on her. He reached down and ruffled her hair. ‘And no more tantrums,’ he said.
She watched him leave. If he’d turned back, he’d have seen the way she looked at him; but he didn’t bother, he ran down the stairs like a schoolboy after the last lesson, grateful to have escaped.
He was in the kitchen when I caught up with him. I saw him through the half-open door, crouching on the floor, but when I came in he got to his feet with the puppy cradled against his chest. ‘I’ll go in a minute,’ he said. ‘I was just looking at Splotch.’ I didn’t say anything. After a moment he frowned. ‘What? Why are you looking at me like that?’
I shut the door behind me. ‘What do you think you’re playing at, Darnay?’
Carefully he lowered himself again and tipped Splotch back into the box. But he didn’t stand back up; he knelt there, looking up at me, while he held his finger out for her to chew on. ‘What are you talking about?’
I breathed in, slowly. ‘So Alta’s going to meet a dark, handsome stranger, who’s going to fall in love with her, is she?’
He shrugged. ‘Look, it wasn’t – it was just a—’
‘What? A joke? A game? It didn’t occur to you when you made it up that she might—’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘What makes you think I made it up?’
‘Because …’ I hesitated. In a lower voice I said, ‘I suppose it was a coincidence, then. That you told her exactly what she wants to hear.’
A flicker of something came and went in his face. ‘I thought all little girls wanted to meet a tall dark stranger.’
‘Damn it, Darnay!’ I dropped to a crouch opposite him so I could look full into his face. ‘Don’t be so disingenuous. How dare you tell her you love her?’
His face went blank. He pulled his hand away from Splotch. ‘I never said anything of the kind.’
‘Oh, of course, you had no idea what she was thinking!’
‘Don’t be absurd.’ He stood up. ‘I don’t know what you’re suggesting, exactly – but if you imagine I have designs on Alta’s virtue …’
‘You must think I’m stupid.’
‘Well …’ He looked me up and down. ‘I’m not sure how to answer that.’
I squared up to him. My heart was hammering. It was driving me mad, this constant desire – no, need – to hit him, when I knew I didn’t dare. ‘Why can’t you just leave her alone?’
A pause. He folded his arms and stared at me. At last he said, ‘All right. I admit it.’
‘What?’
‘You’re right. I’m going to seduce Alta – I mean, I know she’s only a child, but that just adds spice – and then abandon her. If she’s expecting my child, so much the better. Ruin her life. And yours, and your parents’, as well. Just because I want to. I enjoy that sort of thing.’
I stared at him. His eyes were like jet: inert, inhuman. My throat was so tight I could hardly breathe. ‘You – really …’
‘No!’ He spun round and took a few steps away from me. ‘No, not really! For goodness’ sake, who do you think I am? I save your sister’s life, I bring her home, I visit her when she’s ill, I bring presents to cheer her up, I adopt a puppy to stop it getting killed. And you look at me like I’m planning a murder. Why?’
‘Because you make my skin crawl!’
Silence.
‘At least you’re honest.’ He sounded tired. He unhooked his cloak from the peg on the wall and put it on. ‘Don’t worry about Alta. She’ll be fine.’
I bent my head and turned away. I heard the door creak and swing shut, and his footsteps in the hall. A gust of wind rattled the tiles on the roof. It would be freezing out there; but then, he’d ridden here in snow and ice, he could ride home.
I went over to the dogs’ box and looked in, but the pups were asleep. Only Springle turned her head and thumped her tail. If it hadn’t been for Darnay, Splotch might have been dead by now.
But there was something wrong about him. I wasn’t making it up.
I reached out and held my hand over the hottest part of the range, daring myself to touch it.
For the next few days I avoided them both. A while ago I’d promised to help Alfred repair the chimney of his cottage; it was freezing, and the wrong weather to do it, because we had to make sure the frost didn’t get to the mortar, but I insisted. Ma and Pa swapped glances when I told them I’d be working in Fields Row for a while, but I’d finished the stackyard fence the day before and Pa only gave me a look over his slice of pie. Ma said, ‘Very well, dear, I’ll do Alta’s chores,’ and went back to her breakfast. I bent my head to hide my face, slicing my bread into smaller and smaller pieces.
But in a couple of days the job was finished, and it was back to work around the farm. It was nearly the Turning, and the pig had to be slaughtered, and the log and greenery brought in; normally I liked all the preparations, but it felt like every time I turned round I caught sight of Darnay coming or going. When Ma and I brought the pig back from the singeing fire he was riding into the yard. As he passed I felt Ma’s eyes on my face. Suddenly the stench of burnt pig hair and blood on my clothes could have choked me. I wiped away the sweat on my forehead and trundled the wheelbarrow through the open gate. I didn’t glance at Darnay, although I heard his boots click on the cobbles as he dismounted; I went straight to the pump and splashed my face with icy water. It took a couple of hours to butcher the carcass, and t
hen I set up the smoker in the yard; it wasn’t until late that afternoon, when it was dark, that I washed away the grime and strode upstairs. My heart drummed as I went into Alta’s room, but Darnay nodded at me coolly, as if he’d forgotten what I’d said to him. ‘Hello, Farmer,’ he said.
‘Darnay,’ I said.
He tilted his head a little, acknowledging me. Then he went back to the game he was playing with Alta. There was a silence, punctuated by the roll of dice, Darnay swearing softly and Alta giggling. I bent my head and fumbled with the harness I’d brought up to repair, but it was a long time before my fingers were steady enough.
After that it was as if we’d declared a truce. We didn’t look at each other more than we could help; when we had to speak, it was in a bloodless, neutral way, as if we’d never met before. I was afraid Alta would notice that we were behaving differently – that I no longer glared at him when he tugged her plait, that he no longer treated me with mocking courtesy – but when Darnay was there she didn’t notice anything or anyone else. She was happier than I’d ever seen her, and it made me ache all over. It couldn’t last, like this; sooner or later, she’d see that Darnay didn’t love her.
But the days passed. Somehow one afternoon I realised there were only two days to go before the Turning; everywhere I looked there were wreaths of evergreens, glittering gold-paper stars and red baubles, and the kitchen smelt of cinnamon and melted butter. Alta had spent the last week making ivy garlands – incessantly and carelessly, as if she couldn’t bear to look away from Darnay for an instant – and he and I hung them up while Alta directed us from a settee, wrapped in a huddle of blankets. She was bright-eyed with excitement, and Darnay kept glancing at her and smiling. ‘No, that’s lopsided, you’ve got to pin it up in the middle,’ she said.
‘Very well, my lady.’ He swept her a bow – still holding one end of the garland – and then leant sideways so far that the chair he was standing on wobbled. ‘Here?’
The Binding Page 19
