‘We all talk to fluffy toys,’ Tash assured her.
‘Yeah, but I realised that I was actually standing there waiting for an answer.’
‘Girl, you need help,’ Bec said with a grin.
‘Nah, just a few more hours’ sleep will do it.’
‘Hey, I thought Sebastian was an angel,’ Tash said as she grabbed a couple of plates from the cupboard and started serving out the food.
Sally sighed.
‘He is, but he’s also a bit of a night owl, which means broken sleep and a good dose of midnight paranoia.’
Bec glanced over her shoulder.
‘What’s that?’
‘When you spend half an hour getting Seb to sleep. Then fifteen minutes later you’re back and giving him a poke in the cot just to make sure he’s breathing. Which of course wakes him up, and it takes another half an hour to get him back to sleep.’
‘Sounds like a vicious cycle,’ Tash said as she carried over the plates and placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch.
‘How’s work on the farm, Bec?’ Tash asked as she went back to the kitchen to grab some glasses.
‘Hot—and not in a good way,’ Bec said as sat down next to Sally. ‘I’ll be glad to get a bit of rain and see the arse-end of this hot weather.
‘I’ll drink to that,’ Sally said, popping an olive in her mouth. ‘At least, I would if I had a drink.’
‘Coming,’ Tash called.
‘Just hold your horses,’ Bec said as she opened the mineral. ‘Never knew that new mums were so pushy.’
‘No sleep, remember,’ Sally said with a wink. ‘And how’s the bakery going, Tash? That’s a polite way of asking how’s Gilbert going, by the way.’
‘And are we ever going to get to meet him?’ Bec asked.
‘We’ll see. We went to the movies the other night.’
‘How was it?’
‘The movie was good. It was that new political thriller that everyone has been talking about…’
‘I don’t think that’s what Bec meant,’ Sally said.
Tash shrugged.
‘What can I say? It was nice, I enjoyed myself and I came away feeling hopeful.’
Bec and Sally glanced at each other and grinned. Tash caught on and knew instantly that something was up.
‘What’s going on?’
‘We were thinking that you’re probably not prepared for…well, you know,’ Sally said.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ Tash answered as she poured herself a wine and took a sip.
‘We thought that now that you’re going out again maybe you needed a little backup,’ Sally continued.
Tash frowned.
‘You’re not making any sense.’
Bec blew out a breath.
‘We made you an emergency kit. Just in case you’re caught short in the middle of a hot and heavy session with Gilbert.’
‘Jeez, nothing like that has happened yet…’
‘Yeah, but when it does you need to be prepared.’ Bec rummaged in her handbag and pulled out a red silk bag. She chucked it over to Tash. ‘This is for you.’
Tash caught the bag, and as she turned it over in her hands she saw the words Emergency Kit handwritten in large letters. She was baffled until she opened it up. The first thing she saw inside was a packet of condoms.
‘Really?’ she said with a laugh.
‘Well, you never know when you’re going to need them. And sometimes you can be a bit forgetful,’ Bec said.
‘Thanks, but I think I’m able to remember,’ Tash with an arch of her eyebrow. ‘Some things you just don’t forget.’
Sally and Bec both laughed.
‘But,’ Tash said with a sigh, ‘as I said, nothing has happened.’
‘But that doesn’t mean it won’t,’ Sally said. ‘Are you two going to eat this? Because if you don’t, there’s a chance I’ll eat it all.’
‘Eat as much as you want,’ Bec said as she stood up. ‘I’ll be back in a tick.’
Bec walked towards the bathroom at the back of the house which was housed next to the tiny laundry. Tash took a dry biscuit and cut some of the local goat’s cheese. Maybe she was biased, but she always said it was the best she’d ever tasted.
‘Other than the broken night’s sleep, is everything else okay?’ she asked Sally.
‘It’s fantastic. I can’t really describe what it means to finally hold Seb in my arms. You know how long I’ve waited for this,’ Sally said, as her face glowed with a new inner light that Tash had never seen before. Her whole persona seemed to radiate joy.
Tash nodded. It was no secret that Sally and Davey had been trying for a family for several years now. Sally was thirty-one, and had been trying for a child since their wedding. She knew that her friend had been beginning to despair that she would ever fall pregnant and last year she’d told Tash in confidence that she was worried that maybe she would never have a baby. She had thought it was sadly ironic that as a teacher she was surrounded by children but couldn’t have one of her own. Sally had been considering consulting medical advice when she found out she was pregnant with Seb.
Tash reached over, took Sally’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
‘But now you have little Sebastian and everything is perfect.’
Sally beamed back.
‘Yes, it really is.’
***
Later that night, as Tash was going to bed, she picked up the emergency kit and smiled. Perhaps parts of her life weren’t perfect, but with friends like Bec and Sally things could never be too bad. With a smile, she headed to the bedroom and put the red bag in the drawer of her bedside table. You never know, she might even be able to use it one day.
Chapter 13
Over the next couple of weeks Tash met up with Gilbert several times. Once for business, another time over coffee, and the last for another dinner date. Again, Tash enjoyed his company, but there was still something holding her back. Perhaps it was her unfinished business with Nick, or maybe the spark just wasn’t there. She couldn’t fault Gilbert. He was lovely, but even when he leaned in to kiss her goodbye, she knew that it wasn’t going to work.
The kiss was nice enough, but it felt awkward. She was sure that he felt it too; he had to. There was no passion in it, no build up that made Tash’s heart hammer or her skin tingle, and she thought she caught a flash of disappointment in Gilbert’s eyes. God, why did life have to be so damn hard?
It would have been so much easier if she could fall for Gilbert, but she realised that was never going to happen. As she drove back home, she hoped that they’d still be able to be friends, but sometimes a simple kiss can screw everything up.
She decided she’d sleep on it, just to be sure, but Tash knew deep down she’d already made her decision. She couldn’t fall in lust with Gilbert, let alone anything else. And it would be better for both of them if they could accept it now and be friends. He deserved to have someone fall deeply in love with him and that couldn’t be Tash.
As she climbed into bed she promised herself that she would call him in the morning and say that they shouldn’t go out anymore. But the next morning came and went, and she still hadn’t called him. She blamed it on a whole lot of things, from being behind in the morning baking to the arrival of deliveries, but the truth was she was putting it off. Tash wasn’t that comfortable with tricky conversations. She felt bad, but still couldn’t bring herself to pick up the phone after the lunchtime rush.
The situation was taken out of her hands at a few minutes to three when her phone rang.
Tash bit back a sigh when she saw that it was Gilbert calling her. She dismissed her first instinct to ignore it and to let the voicemail pick it up. It was tempting but also cowardly.
‘Hello Gilbert.’
‘Hi Natasha. I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner tonight?’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
There was a long pause down the other end of the line.
‘Has something happened since we went out?’
‘No, not really. But I—’
‘I thought we were just going to hang out and see where it took us,’ Gilbert cut in.
‘But that’s just it. I know it’s not going to take us anywhere. I like you, Gilbert, but I just can’t do this, and that’s not fair on you either.’
He was silent for a moment and Tash bit her lip. This was why you should never date someone you’re in business with—things were bound to get sticky, and never ever in a good way.
‘Okay, I understand,’ he said.
Tash blew out a breath.
‘You do? Thank you for being so understanding. And I get it if you don’t want The Gumnut to supply the bread for your restaurant.’
‘Whoa—hang on there. Are you kidding? I’m not such an idiot to shoot myself in the foot. Our customers are raving about the bread. Yeah, I’m disappointed that you won’t come out with me, but I’m not going to be a jerk about it. I’m still going to order bread from you now and hopefully for many years to come.’
‘You are? I wasn’t sure…’
‘Hey, don’t sweat it. We’re good.’
‘Great—thanks, Gilbert.’
‘Talk to you soon,’ he said cheerfully before hanging up.
***
Nick’s phone rang and he suppressed a sigh when Peter’s name flashed up on the screen.
‘Hey Peter, how’s it going?’
‘Hi Nick. Yeah, good—everything is good—how about you?’
‘Fine.’
‘Have I caught you at a bad time?’
‘Nope, I’m just walking back to get some lunch. You?’
‘Just finished.’
Silence settled over the conversation. It didn’t matter when or where, there was always an awkwardness between Peter and him. Nick scanned his mind in search of something to say. Why did it always have to be this way?
‘So have you been busy?’ Yeah, it was lame but it was all he had.
Nick then had to listen to Peter for the next five minutes talk about how he erected a shed. Well, at least there wasn’t a stony silence between them.
‘So have you been taking my advice and getting out?’ Peter asked.
‘Kind of—I’ve been out to dinner with a friend a couple of times.’
‘Just a friend,’ Peter said as if his interest was caught. ‘Tell me everything.’
‘Nothing much to tell. Like I said, I went to dinner with a friend. We checked out that new place in Bendigo. You know the one that’s just opened, Sinclair’s.’
‘Yeah, Heather is on my back to take her there for our anniversary next week. I heard it was pretty pricey.’
‘It’s not cheap but then it’s not outrageous either. Besides, I reckon Heather deserves a nice dinner for putting up with you all these years,’ Nick said with a laugh.
‘Oh that’s funny, really funny,’ Peter said but Nick could hear the amusement in his voice.
‘Come on, you know I’m only clowning around.’
‘I know but I reckon you have a point about Heather. I should take her somewhere nice. I always mean to arrange a getaway but never seem to pull it off.’
‘Hey, you’ve got time and I’m sure Lana wouldn’t mind babysitting the kids,’ Nick said.
‘She’d love it. I sometimes think those kids are more hers than mine.’ Peter chuckled. ‘I’ll have to think about it. Anyway, I just called to see how you were going.’
‘Thanks, Peter.’
‘No worries, talk to you soon.’
‘Yeah, oh by the way I came across Sophie’s fairytale book.’
‘What book?’
‘You know the one that used to belong to your grandmother. It was one of Sophie’s favourites and she always had it close.’
‘Yes, I remember it now. It’s blue isn’t it, and has some drawings in it?’
‘That’s the one. Anyway, I happened by it and I thought that you might like to have it back.’
Peter was silent for a second. ‘That’s really nice of you.’
‘It’s nothing. Besides you should have it. She was your grandmother too and, besides, I thought the kids might get a kick out of hearing the stories. I’ll give it to you when we catch up next.’
‘Thanks Nick, it means a lot.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Oh, and have a great time at Sinclair’s.’
***
Nick and Jules shared a pizza and a salad at the best pizzeria in Bendigo before catching a late movie. Nick had to be up early, but he wanted to spend time with Jules. He’d probably pay for it in the morning, but that was tomorrow’s problem.
It had been a great evening; the food had been delicious and the movie entertaining. Jules was perfect: from keeping the conversation going when it lagged, to laughing at his lame attempts at jokes, to sitting nice and close to him during the film.
Nick stopped the car outside Jules’ cottage.
‘Well, here you are,’ Nick said as he turned off the ignition. ‘Thanks for coming out with me.’
‘It was my pleasure, I had a great time,’ Jules said as she unclipped her seat belt.
There was a brief silence. Funny, it was the only awkwardness of the entire evening. Nick knew why it was there; he’d been thinking about the end of this date all night. They’d been out now a handful of times and Nick had enjoyed every moment with Jules. She made him want to smile. It hadn’t been until recently that he realised how much he’d missed that happy feeling over the years.
‘Well, I’d better get going,’ Jules said as she opened the door and started to get out. ‘Thanks again for a lovely night, Nick.’
‘I’ll walk you to the door.’
Jules looked back at him.
‘You don’t have to do that.’
‘But I want to.’
A slow smile spread over Jules’ face.
‘Alright, Mr Langtree, I will allow you to accompany me to my door.’
‘See, now you’re just making me sound like a freak,’ Nick said with a small laugh.
Nick walked beside Jules for the half-a-dozen steps from the car to the gate. They both reached out to open the latch at the same time and their hands brushed against each other’s. Nick stared at Jules for a second until, before he lost the little courage he had, he leaned in and kissed her.
Her mouth was soft and welcoming. Jules’ scent reminded Nick of white flowers and of summer nights. The kiss was all sweetness and innocence, and finished before it really got started. Jules pulled back and gave Nick a tremendous smile.
‘Thanks again for tonight,’ she said as she slipped through the gate and disappeared.
Nick stood there for a moment and tried to gather his thoughts. Yes, he decided, it was a perfect end to a perfect evening. He turned around and headed back to the car and ignored the fleeting thought that maybe he needed more than perfection. On some level, Nick felt that everything was great—the company, the kiss and the sense of desire that it elicited deep within him. And yet, it wasn’t complete. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it felt like a piece was missing.
***
It was a Thursday evening and Nick was meeting Matt at The Black Sheep for dinner. He was glad of it because even though he enjoyed being with Jules, Matt was his friend. He was looking forward to catching up with him and having a chat, a drink and even a bite to eat.
Nick was about to leave for town when Matt messaged him. He was agonising over his latest chapter and judging from the annoyed text he’d been sent Matt was going to be late.
Either I’m going to die or my main character is. #WhyIHateWriting
Nick grinned and texted back.
No you don’t. See you at the pub.
Rewrote scene 3 times & he still won’t do what I want.
Maybe he has a better idea?
Why are we even friends??? Order me a beer. I’ll be there in 20 mins.
Nick shoved the phone in his pocket, grabbed his keys and hea
ded out the door.
True to his word, Matt walked through into The Black Sheep twenty minutes later. Nick was already sitting at a table with two beers in front of him. He slid one over to Matt as he sat down.
‘Just like you ordered.’
‘Thanks, I appreciate it. How’s it been going?’
‘Pretty good. I’ve spent the week trying to catch up with things on the farm. Just general stuff from chopping wood to mending the window.’
‘What happened?’
‘Tabitha.’
‘What, your cat? Since when do cats break windows?’
‘Some days she can just be a jerk,’ Nick said with a shrug. ‘I left a glass bottle on the bench. Tabs didn’t like the look of it so she knocked it into the window and cracked the pane.’
‘Really?’
‘Yep. If you’re looking for a belligerent cat to star in your next book, I’ve got you covered.’
‘I’ll keep that in mind. Hey, maybe she can be the villainous mastermind behind the entire story,’ Matt said as he drank some beer.
‘I wouldn’t put it past her.’
Matt set down his pint glass.
‘Listen, I don’t want to worry you, but is there a reason why that redhead is giving us the evil eye?’
Nick glanced over his shoulder and saw Vivienne Parnell glaring back at him.
‘Yeah.’ He sighed. ‘She hates my guts.’
‘Seriously? What did you do to her?’
Nick picked up the menu—pointless, really, he was going to have what he always did.
‘She was Sophie’s best friend,’ he explained. ‘They grew up together and she blames me for her death.’
Matt frowned.
‘Is she always that obvious?’
‘Pretty much. It hasn’t been a problem as I’ve spent most of my time hiding at home, but now…Well, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it. With any luck she’ll get sick of giving me the death stare.’
‘Okay. I’ll go and order our dinner. Let me guess: you’re going to have the Parmigiana?’
‘Absolutely.’
Nick didn’t turn around when Matt walked over to the counter, but he could still feel Vivienne’s eyes boring into his back. Uncomfortable, yes, but he wouldn’t run, not when he was just beginning to live again.
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