“David and I are nothing but good friends, Robin. We discovered our mutual love of music at Simon and Judith’s the other night, and it has been delightful to have his company, rather than my brother’s, who has been known to fall asleep! Come, it is getting late,” said Barbara, starting for the door.
Robin and Diana shared a look of relief and followed her to the carriage.
* * * *
Lady Whiting always invited more people than her house could comfortably hold, and so it took the Stanleys a few minutes to go through the receiving line and search out Viscount Vane and Lord Alverstoke.
Barbara found herself aware of everyone, and listening for the distinct tone of Wardour’s voice. She was surprised at herself, pleasantly surprised, for surely this indicated that she was ready and willing to fall in love with him.
When they at last reached their friends, Barbara was delighted to see that one of their company was Wardour. He seemed equally delighted to see her. In fact, he had approached the viscount and immediately renewed their acquaintance precisely because he was the Stanleys’ friend. He did not intend a subtle and slow courtship. He intended to win Barbara, and he intended to do it straightforwardly.
He was disappointed, therefore, when she could not offer him her first dance. But his disappointment was short-lived, for she offered him her first waltz. She had saved it on purpose, hoping that he would ask her.
Wardour waited patiently, and when they at last moved off onto the dance floor, neither was disappointed. The marquess was one of those rare dance partners whom one followed without being aware of following. The waltz was effortless, and they could not keep from smiling at each other in sheer enjoyment. She was pleasantly conscious that the steady pressure of his hand on her back did indeed raise her temperature more than could be expected from the exercise. And at one point in the dance, their fingers linked together naturally and unconsciously. When Wardour finally noticed, he gave her hand a squeeze before flattening her palm and holding her less intimately.
When the dance was over and he left to dance with his sister, Barbara realized that her legs were shaky and her cheeks flushed. It was such a relief to know that this Season might very well bring her everything she wished for that she felt a bit giddy, and moved next to Robin and placed her hand on his arm. When he asked if she were all right, she answered that she was just a little dizzy from her waltz. They smiled at each other in the same instant, both happy at the way things appeared to be working out.
And while Wardour was careful not to monopolize Barbara’s attention, it was clear by the end of the evening that Lady Barbara Stanley had a serious suitor, and one, moreover, that she seemed to be taking seriously.
Chapter 5
It became even more evident over the next few weeks that Wardour was indeed serious, and Barbara found herself liking him as much as she had suspected she would, although there were more than a few political issues on which Barbara suspected they would differ. It was clear that Wardour was a Tory, but one, Barbara realized, with a genuine concern for his people that went generations deep. It was obvious that he had compassion for the working classes, and although his political solutions seemed illogical to her, she was more than happy to change the subject when a major disagreement loomed.
Whenever the marquess approached her for a dance, while her heart might not leap up, it gave a most decidedly satisfying flutter. Their waltzes lived up to the promise of the first one. Wardour’s touch was delightful, whether on the dance floor or helping her up into his curricle, and she went to bed wondering what it would feel like when he finally kissed her. For she knew he would, and she knew if it wasn’t in the next few days, she could most probably maneuver them onto a private balcony to speed things along.
In the meantime, she was also enjoying her developing friendship with David Treves. They had gotten into the habit of attending a musicale at least once a week, accompanied by one or another of their mutual acquaintances. And when Barbara discovered while she was out with her groom that David was fond of early morning rides, she suggested meeting in the park one day a week. Usually after an invigorating gallop, they would walk their horses and talk nonstop about anything and everything, for they had become fast friends.
On one particular morning David, who had happened to attend the same rout the previous evening, teased Barbara about the gossip he had been hearing. “I have heard that the odds are in favor of a betrothal before the end of the Season between Lady Barbara Stanley and the Marquess of Wardour. Would I be premature in congratulating you?” he asked with a teasing grin.
“Much too premature. We haven’t even kissed yet,” she replied without thinking. Her hand flew up to her mouth in horror at what she had said.
David laughed out loud.
“Oh, David, you are too dangerous to be with,” confessed Barbara. “I feel so comfortable with you that I don’t think before I speak. I talk to you just as I used to talk to Judith. I suppose, having blurted that out, I must either pretend that I didn’t or explain.”
“Am I to understand from your previous statement, Lady Barbara,” said David with mock solemnity, “that you honestly will admit the matter of kissing into your decision-making about an eligible suitor?”
“It isn’t just my decision, you know.”
“Oh, but the man will ask you, Barbara. The signs are all there. The question is rather what you will answer. And does your answer depend on how well he kisses?”
“I think I will answer him ‘yes,’ and yes, I think my answer will partly depend on how I feel when he kisses me. For I have already told you that Judith and Robin are my models in this. I’ve been spoiled in that the two people closest to me have found marriages where passion plays a prominent part.”
“Yes, I have become quite envious myself, listening to you,” said David, albeit with a trace of cynicism in his voice.
“And what of you, my friend. It is your turn to be embarrassed. Is there anyone in your life whom you have been kissing or wanting to kiss?”
“Now, Lady Barbara, you are aware, although it is not spoken of in polite company—but then we have agreed not to be polite—that most men have some woman in their lives whom they have been…ah…kissing.”
“You will not put me to the blush again, David. Of course I know that. And of course you know what I was talking about. Is there anyone you care about? Have you thought of marriage yet?”
“Oh, I’ve thought of it. My grandfather and father will let me think of nothing else,” he replied bitterly.
“This sounds like a sensitive topic. I am sorry I teased you about it, David. You need not continue,” said Barbara with ready sympathy. “Close friends need to respect privacy as well as share intimacies, you know.”
“No, I don’t mind speaking of it with you. The question for me,” he continued, “will never be one of passion. I am, as you once noted, every inch the English gentleman, and as such, I will choose my bride for practical reasons, not sentimental ones. And, of course, since I am also not the typical English gentleman, the process is a bit more complicated.”
“Do you feel that you must marry a woman of your own faith?”
“What faith is that? You are a woman of my own faith, Barbara. A woman who is educated and intelligent and who appreciates music with all her heart and soul, as I do. Although you are an artist, as I am not.”
“But you have a splendid voice, David,” Barbara interjected.
“Thank you. But to continue, you are a person of some wealth and position in your community, as I am in mine. And a woman with interest in the important questions of our time. Being Jewish has nothing to do with all that. You know, we are quite lucky we are only good friends,” said David, turning in his saddle to face her.
“Why is that?”
“Because were we romantically inclined we never could marry.”
“But you told me your uncle married a Christian.”
“Ah, yes, but a woman of lower rank than you, whose fami
ly was willing to sell her to the highest bidder, even though he was a Jew. I don’t want to buy a wife.”
“There must be girls from other Jewish families to whom you are introduced?”
“Yes. Our socializing works much like yours. But I haven’t met anyone I can talk to, much less one who has kindled any feeling of attraction. But this is all too serious to worry about further on such a glorious morning, my dear friend. Come, let’s have another gallop to clear our heads. And I hope that by next time we meet, we will have Wardour’s kiss to talk about!”
Chapter 6
It was more than a week before Barbara had anything to report, and she was beginning to wonder if Wardour was planning to make his offer without attempting any kisses at all. She sincerely hoped not, for although she was almost sure she would accept him, she still wanted to know that she would enjoy kissing Wardour as much as she enjoyed dancing with him. Unfortunately, every time she had tried to find a few moments alone with him, someone had spoiled her plans by joining them in conversation. And if it weren’t someone joining their tête-à-tête, it was some pushing mama, introducing her daughter, and pulling Lady Barbara off for a coze. Some mothers never despair, even when a man has clearly indicated his interest, she would think as she was dragged off.
Finally, on the night of the Langtons’ ball, when Barbara complained of being quite warm from their last waltz, Wardour solicitously asked if she wanted a breath of fresh air. Fortunately, all their friends seemed to be on the other side of the room, and they reached a window uninterrupted. And when they got there, Barbara, who was fully intending to pull Wardour out onto the balcony if she had to, was pleasantly surprised when he asked in a low voice if she would prefer moving outside. She nodded her head in assent and as they stepped out, Wardour pulled the French doors halfway closed behind him.
“Ah, there is a breeze here,” Barbara said with a sigh.
She had been hot after the last dance, for the weather was sultry for the end of May. Wardour brought the back of his hand up to her cheek.
“You are quite warm, Lady Barbara. I hope our waltz was not too much for you?” He paused, and then continued, “And yet, I hope that we both feel some warmth that is not directly related to the weather or our exertion.”
His hand was still against her cheek and Barbara reached up and, linking her fingers with his, moved both their hands to his cheek, a little surprised at her own boldness.
“We do seem to be suffering from the same condition,” she said softly.
Wardour leaned down and kissed her lightly on the mouth. “I hope that our condition has a similar cause,” he whispered. “I am warm from wanting to kiss you, but I fear,” he said, “that if I kiss you again neither of us will cool off.”
Barbara felt a thrill go through her as he lowered his head and she felt his breath against her neck. She closed her eyes and lifted her face and Wardour kissed her again, this time a little more insistently. His lips explored hers, but just as she began to respond and her mouth began to relax and open under his, he pulled back. Her eyes opened wide with surprise and disappointment.
“I must ask you something before I forget myself,” Wardour said solemnly.
Barbara wanted to say, “Yes, yes, ask away and I’ll answer and let us get back to what is truly important.” In truth, for all her anticipation of the moment, she was so distracted that she didn’t guess what he was about to ask.
“I should talk to your father first, I know, and I fully intended to,” he continued. “But I fear I have lost control over my good intentions, and must ask now, for the sake of your reputation as well as my own peace of mind.”
Lost control? wondered Barbara. Oh, let us lose control!
“Lady Barbara, I do not think I am mistaken that we have an affection for one another. And this evening proves that we respond to one another in…other ways. Will you do me the honor of consenting to be my wife?”
Now that the moment had come, Barbara felt herself go from hot to cold in an instant. Did she want to spend her life with this man? She thought so. She thought they could make each other comfortable and happy. And this evening had proved they would be physically compatible, if one could judge by a kiss or two. Did she love him as Judith loved Simon? She didn’t know, but she did know she was tired of waiting. And she also knew she wanted another kiss.
“Yes, yes, I will,” she replied quietly.
Wardour smiled. It was a spontaneous smile, which lit up his whole face, but it also had in it a trace of satisfaction. There was no surprise on his face, no lover’s insecurity. He had, to judge by his smile, expected her answer to be yes. As why should he not, she told herself. But still, it bothered her a little.
Just then Wardour leaned down and kissed her again, and the moment of doubt passed. This third kiss was the best of all, for as her lips parted, he pulled her closer and pushed his tongue gently into her mouth. She wanted the kiss to go on for a long time, but he pulled away from her again, saying, “I wouldn’t like us to be discovered like this, my dear, even though we are now betrothed. People would say that I only proposed to avoid a scandal. I will ride out to Ashurst tomorrow and talk to your father.”
Barbara found herself reluctant to start thinking practically. She knew he was right. It would be embarrassing to be caught in his arms. And he did have to speak to her father before an announcement could be made, so she swallowed her disappointment that they couldn’t go on exploring the delights of kissing for another hour or so and smoothed her hair and smiled up at him.
“You are right, Peter. Although I hate to go back, I suppose we must.”
He dropped a quick kiss on her head. “Soon we will be able to kiss as long as we want, my dear.” He pulled his cravat straight, and then opened the door.
Chapter 7
Wardour left the next day for Ashurst. He did not see Barbara before he went, but that morning an exquisite bouquet of hothouse flowers arrived for her. Robin, who had joined her for a late breakfast, quizzed her about them.
“Wardour has done everything to express his interest, but this is quite a floral tribute, Barb. Does this mean anything?”
“It does, Robin,” she said with a smile.
Her brother set down his coffee cup and looked over at her, his eyebrows raised inquiringly.
“Peter and I became betrothed last night,” she announced.
Delighted, Robin got up and went over to Barbara to give her a hug. Barbara felt tears come to her eyes as he pressed his cheek to hers. Robin was the person she felt closest to in the world. They might not have shared as many confidences as she had with her friends, but they had grown up supporting one another in the frequent absences of their parents.
Robin straightened up and cleared his throat. “I wish you happy, my dear. Diana and I have been concerned this past year that you would not be happy until you had a husband and family of your own, but there was no one before Wardour who seemed right for you. You do love him?”
“Yes, Robin,” replied Barbara, after a slight hesitation.
“I know he does not come up to town for every Season. Do you think you will be content living in Kent the year round? What of your music?”
“What of my music, Robin? I can take it no further. In some ways, living in London makes me more frustrated. I think I am ready to retire and play occasionally for family. And I am eager to be a mother,” said Barbara, blushing a little.
“And one more along the lines of Judith than of our mother, I would bet,” said her brother.
“Most definitely,” agreed Barbara. “And since I do want to spend more time with my children, it is just as well that I relegate my music to a pastime. Motherhood is a realistic vocation; music could never be.”
“Well, don’t give it up entirely, Barbara,” cautioned Robin. “You may be distracted by other things now, but it is very much a part of who you are.”
“We shall see. Anyway,” she continued, “Wardour is on his way to speak to Father today.”
Robin and Barbara looked at each other and laughed. They had long ago accepted the fact that their parents’ devotion was reserved for each other. Much of their childhood had been spent awaiting the earl and countess’s return from one or another of their trips, which seemed to function as perpetual honeymoons.
“You would think they would be content to remain at home now that they are older, Robin.”
“I doubt they will ever change. And at this point, having Father around underfoot at Ashurst would be difficult. I have had things my way for the last few years because of his indifference, and I would resent any interference at this point.”
“You and Diana have made it very much a home, Robin. Something it never was before. I appreciate that. In fact, I am looking forward to the end of the Season and a last summer in Ashurst.”
“You have decided on a date?”
“Not yet. But I suspect Peter won’t want to wait, so I think I will suggest a fall wedding.”
* * * *
Having announced her betrothal to Robin, Barbara was eager to tell Judith. She decided to forgo her morning ride, hoping that an early visit would find her friend alone. When she arrived, she was pleased to see that she had succeeded. Judith was in the library, her feet up on a footstool, reading the morning paper.
“Barbara! What a delightful surprise,” she exclaimed, starting to get up.
“Don’t disturb yourself, Judith,” said Barbara.
“I am not that cumbersome yet, that I can’t get up and greet a friend,” protested the duchess.
“You look too comfortable to disturb.”
“What brings you here this early in the day?” asked Judith, settling back against her cushion.
Lady Barbara's Dilemma Page 3
