He’d disgusted me, but before I knew I was going to I said, “Once?”
My stomach twisted. Why had I asked that? His answer didn’t matter. I wouldn’t sleep with him even once, never mind--
“How could you get multiple payments for one service? Nope, I was thinking a one-to-one arrangement.”
Every time I wanted a good story lead, I’d have to meet Simon in that back room. Take off my clothes and let him--
What I’d already done had been awful enough.
I shook my head.
He gave me the kind of look you’d give a child who said something silly at the wrong time, half amused and half annoyed. “Oh, Summer. Really? Principles at this stage of the game? Aren’t you the girl who sold me your ex-husband? Are you serious about this career or not?”
Before I could answer that, he said, “And by the way, I meant what I said on the phone. Give me false information again and you are finished. Nobody’ll hire you if I don’t like your work. You know that, right?”
Since I’d contacted several other people for jobs and had been shut down as soon as they knew I was working for Simon and he didn’t know I was looking, I nodded.
“Good. Now...” He waved at the back room. “You sure?”
No. I was not. He was making it awfully clear that his opinion could change my career, and I knew he was right because of how the other potential bosses had reacted. If I said yes, I could at least make what I did to Kent and MC worthwhile.
But giving in to Simon, letting him... after how much sex had meant to me with Kent? I couldn’t bear to cheapen it.
I raised my chin. “I am sure. Yes.”
He shook his head slowly. “Well. If that’s your decision, then okay. I guess we’ll see what happens.”
I took a deep breath and let it out as I got to my feet. “I guess we will. And I’m going to keep watching for stories that are perfect for me, so you’ll have to give them to me anyhow.”
Simon gave a grunt of a chuckle. “Sure. You do that.”
I walked out without another word. As I passed the spot where Peter had called me brave, I wondered: was the brave thing to do refusing Simon or actually sleeping with him?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
After a long and frustrating week spent searching online for stories and trying to understand the swimsuit business and missing my friends and Ron, the last thing I wanted to do was answer Mimi’s phone call.
But answer I did, because I couldn’t risk making her, and Simon through her, more annoyed with me.
Mimi, to my surprise, sounded like she was talking to her best friend. “Didn’t see you when you were here last week. Why didn’t you wait until I came back from my coffee break so we could chat?”
I blinked. “I... guess I didn’t think of it.” Because I hadn’t wanted to see her and I’d never have thought she’d want to see me either.
She clicked her tongue at me. “Well, think next time. Okay, look, I need a favor.”
Big surprise. Her friendliness now made sense. “What’s up?”
“Any baby news?”
“I don’t even have a boyfriend.”
She laughed. “Not you, dumbass. McKent! It’s been a month since the wedding and that means there could be a baby on the way.”
I hadn’t even thought of that. Kent and I had planned to have kids, but we’d both wanted to wait until we’d been married a while and then our problems had started well before we were ready to have them. Kent and MC, though, had already been together for ages the first time. They could have decided to get pregnant right away.
Fortunately, this time I had no ethical dilemma to deal with. “I truly have no idea. They’re not talking to me.”
She laughed. “Why not?
“Um, duh. Why do you think?”
She laughed harder. “Duh back at you. We might have made the pre-wedding time a little weird, but they still got married. And we didn’t interfere with the honeymoon at all because somebody lied about where and when it was.”
“They still got married?” I felt a little real happiness for the first time since their wedding day. At least I hadn’t ruined everything. “You’re sure?”
“I don’t have a clue,” she said, bringing my mood crashing down again. “But I assume so. Why wouldn’t they have?”
I didn’t bother answering this. She wouldn’t understand it anyhow. “Well, I don’t know anything about any babies. Or anything. So sorry.”
“You should be sorry. You’re an idiot. You have the current number-one celeb couple on speed dial and you aren’t doing anything about it.”
“I did, actually,” I said, annoyed at being called an idiot. “I did do something. And now they aren’t talking to me.”
“Well, fix that. They’re your best hope for an awesome career. Sweet-talk them.”
“Hard to do when they aren’t talking to me.”
“Well, it’s make them talk or hope Simon gives you an indecent proposal,” she said, sounding like either option was fine with her. “Pick one.”
“Mimi!” I was shocked, but of course not at the idea that Simon would do that. I just wouldn’t have thought she would know about it.
“What?” She laughed. “It’s not so bad.”
“It’s...” Something I’d never have expected occurred to me. “Did you...”
She laughed again, clearly not remotely embarrassed. “How’d you think I got to be the featured reporter? And how do you think I keep that status? Few minutes a week on that couch and I have everything I want. No problem. And he’s actually pretty good in bed. I know, I’m surprised too.”
Simon apparently didn’t care who he slept with. I wouldn’t have thought Mimi and I could both be his type. I didn’t speak, since I had no idea what to say, and she said, “Look, kid, can I give you some advice?”
I grunted something she must have taken for agreement.
“Decide how much you want this,” she said, sounding nicer than she ever had before. “Simon can make all your dreams come true, if you let him. But if you fight him, he can make your life hell.”
Yes, I was familiar with that side of him.
“Or, get McKent to give you an exclusive interview with pictures of their wedding. If they had one. That’d get your career to a point where he can’t get in your way.”
It’d be easier to sleep with Simon.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I hadn’t realized exactly how many reporters Simon had working for him until he called an all-hands meeting a few weeks later on the last Friday of March. I had a miserable trip, since a couple of teenage girls in the Vegas airport taxi line recognized me and stood making bitchy comments about people who’d betray their friends until I’d finally managed to get into a taxi and get out of there, and I was so not in the mood to sit with easily thirty people stuffed into the conference room he’d rented at what had to be the crappiest hotel in Vegas.
“So,” he said, smiling around at us all. “Let’s all introduce ourselves and say what we’re working on.”
Vicki sat on his left side but he waved at the guy on his right and said, “You first, Byron.”
Byron didn’t bother introducing himself any more than Simon already had before explaining that he was exclusively focused on getting an interview with Bart Miles the movie star.
I’d heard that Bart wouldn’t allow himself to be interviewed by anyone who wasn’t female and sexy, but I kept my mouth shut. If I had that wrong, Simon would mock me.
Around the table we went and a little more than halfway it was my turn. “I’m Summer Young,” I said, but before I could say anything else easily half the people in the room said, “Summaar!” at more or less the same time and Vicki added, “I knew I recognized you but I didn’t know from where.”
Though it was awkward to be recognized as part of a couple that no longer existed, I did like that they recognized me. It made me feel alive. Like I mattered.
Simon laughed. “You’re famous, Red. Ye
ah, that’s her.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “At least, it was. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen pics of you two for a while.”
Remembering the last mental pictures I had of Aaron, his tongue in Kia’s mouth and then him turning his back on me at the wedding, I said, “No, and you won’t.”
Several people groaned, but I noticed nobody said they felt bad for me. They probably felt worse for themselves, since there was a good chance at least one of these people had taken pictures of Aaron and me together. They’d lost a potential target.
“And what are you working on?” Simon said to me like he was trying to get a little kid to say thank you.
“Well, it turns out I’ve got a cousin whose friend is friends with--”
“Summer, if I wanted your life history I’d have asked. Tell me what you’re up to already.”
Several people snickered, and anger snapped through me. I knew better than to show it, though, so I winked at him as if I thought he was messing around and said, “I was, actually. I’d be done by now, you know, if you’d just let me talk.”
The room held its breath until Simon burst out laughing. “You’re tough, Red. Everyone else, take note. You gotta be tough. Okay, so who is your cousin’s friend’s friend’s babysitter friends with?”
“Dominic.”
I didn’t give a last name. I didn’t need to. Everyone knew the top male supermodel.
“You’re getting access to him?”
I smiled at Vicki, knowing I looked a little smug and not minding. “He’s overseas right now but he’ll be back in a few weeks for his friend’s wedding and I’m going to interview him then.”
I hoped, anyhow. My cousin and his friend were hugely enthusiastic, but Dominic seemed less so. But I couldn’t show here that I might not get the interview or someone else might try to steal it from me.
“Well,” Simon said, looking a little taken aback. “Well. Nice one.” He took a sip of the disgusting coffee we’d been given, then shuddered and set his cup aside. “Make sure you find out whether he’s gay. No point running the piece if you don’t.”
Since Dominic had been asked that in every interview ever done with him, and had given the same flat “No comment” answer every time, I felt sick, but simply smiled at Simon.
He went on to the next person, but I noticed him taking several glances back at me and I realized I’d surprised him with my connection. Good. Keeping Simon off-balance was definitely a smart move for my career even though it was exhausting.
When we got around the table to Vicki, Simon spoke up before she could. “I think most of you have met Vicki,” he said, beaming at her. “If not, this is Vicki.”
“Hey,” she said, waving vaguely.
“Vicki’s going to be hanging out with Annabelle and CJ on their world tour that’s starting next month, getting a real up-close look at their lives and reporting on them every day.” He smiled at her again. “Should be a great boost to her career.”
I swallowed hard, feeling miserable, as Vicki giggled and grinned at him. I’d gotten along great with Annabelle and CJ. That beat could have been mine. Should have been mine. I’d asked for it, but...
My eyes met Mimi’s across the table and she raised her eyebrows. I knew what she meant.
Sleeping with Simon was the path to the top, and Vicki had obviously done it.
I hadn’t wanted to take that path, and I still didn’t, but I couldn’t help wondering if keeping what little integrity I’d managed to hang onto so far was worth the work I’d have to do to succeed on my own.
*****
Upon my return to Portland I realized I had nothing in my apartment that I wanted to eat so I put my hair in a ponytail and hid it in the hood of an old boyfriend’s sweatshirt so I wouldn’t be recognized at the grocery store. I’d always wanted attention, but I couldn’t face the kind I’d been getting recently.
As I plodded along through the aisles, cursing Simon and Vicki in my head and cursing myself for wondering whether sleeping with him would really be that bad, I heard a voice that was not in my head but in the next aisle.
“No, that doesn’t work! Why would you think it would?”
The voice was quiet but furious so it carried. And also MC’s. I’d never heard her sound like that. There was rage, and pain, in her voice, and I couldn’t imagine what had gotten her so upset.
Kent began explaining that he’d thought full-size carrots would be okay since the store was out of the baby ones, sounding patient but with an undertone of annoyance, and I stood frozen. I didn’t think I could handle seeing them at all, and definitely not while they were fighting over something as stupid as carrot size. Clearly things weren’t good with them.
“Well, they aren’t okay. The baby ones look way better on a tray, and I don’t want to spend ages chopping the big ones into pieces.”
“Okay,” Kent said soothingly. “We’ll go somewhere else.”
“No, we won’t, because we have no time. Your parents are coming over and I don’t know how to handle everything and I’m so tired.” She sighed. “It’s not really about the carrots, it’s just...”
He made a sympathetic sound, and my heart felt like it had snapped in two. He’d made that sound to me and I’d always found it so comforting. I’d never hear it directed at me again, and I wanted it so much.
“I know, honey,” he said gently. “When you’re out of the first trimester it’ll be better. You sleep when we get home, and I’ll get everything ready for my parents.”
Trimester. She was pregnant. Mimi’s instincts had been right. But I would sleep with her and Simon and every man I’d ever met before I’d tell a soul at work about that.
Kent’s words, and that sound I’d loved, didn’t seem to calm MC at all. She didn’t respond to what he’d said, almost didn’t seem to have heard him. “I’m on edge all the time in case she comes back and harasses us again, or sends another camera crew,” she said, words tumbling from her. “I’m even scared to be out here... why couldn’t you just get the groceries yourself?”
In a tone I’d never heard from him before, Kent snapped, “Because you say whatever I do is wrong.”
She gasped, and he immediately began apologizing, and I hurried away in the opposite direction, leaving my cart behind. I had to get out of the store before they saw me.
She. Was I that she? It sure seemed like it. Either me or Mimi, and Mimi was only in the picture because of me.
Kent and MC had been blissfully happy from the moment they reconnected on the show until I’d ruined their wedding.
They’d obviously managed to connect again at least once since she was pregnant, but they should still be savoring being together and instead they were at each other’s throats.
And that was my fault.
Chapter Thirty
I had more trouble sleeping that night than since the night of the wedding that maybe wasn’t, and I woke up on Saturday with the same kind of thoughts spinning through my head.
After I reported on Annabelle’s breakup with Ward I ruined the life of her once-friend Taffy. I didn’t try to report on Kent and MC’s wedding but it looked like I might have ruined things for them too. I’d loved the idea of my career, and I still loved the stuff I’d done with Courtney and Misty, but when I balanced those happy moments against the awful things that had happened because of me I couldn’t make myself believe the good cancelled out the bad.
Interviewing ‘normal people’ like Kent and MC wasn’t a good thing. I could see that now. Normal people didn’t want to have every aspect of their lives exposed. Celebrities, though, were generally understanding and accepting of that, so maybe that was okay.
Except that Taffy had been dragged into a mess by what I’d written about Annabelle. Sure, if she hadn’t cheated she wouldn’t have had a mess to be dragged into, but still. How could I be sure that I didn’t cause fallout for innocent people by reporting on celebrities?
And if I couldn’t be sure, was it wrong to report on ce
lebrities at all?
But I didn’t have anything else I could do, not really. The swimsuits were actually making a little more money since I’d taken over, and not just because I no longer had to share the cash with Kia, but it was still nowhere near enough to live on. And I wanted fame still. Even after everything that had gone wrong, I wanted to be known and recognized. I was getting that now, with even stars like Annabelle and CJ knowing who I was, and I didn’t want to give it up.
But...
I went around in circles a few more times in bed, then made myself get up. I had a long and annoying day of really digging into the swimsuit financials planned, and though I hated the idea of how stupid I’d feel at the end of the day I knew I had to do it. I’d figured out some of the easiest stuff, but there still seemed to be nearly three thousand dollars missing when I compared the number of suits sold to the money we’d taken in over the whole time the business had been running. I knew I had to be overlooking something, probably something painfully obvious, but I just couldn’t find it.
As the coffee I’d need to survive this hunt perked, I opened all the necessary computer files and spread the printouts I’d made of the bank statements on the dining room table, then glared at them. If only I had Kia, or far better Ron, I might be able to understand. But I didn’t want Kia and couldn’t have Ron, so all I had was me.
“You’re doomed,” I said out loud, pouring my coffee.
I knew I was. But I had to work on it anyhow. I’d considered hiring an accountant or someone like that but it seemed like I needed to know what was happening in there before I handed it over to someone else. Not knowing before handing over to Kia was why I was all messed up now.
I worked my way through each bank statement comparing them to the ‘your credit card has been charged this much’ emails we’d sent, trying to line up what we’d deposited with what we’d charged our customers. It wasn’t easy, because Kia hadn’t deposited the payments every day and so things weren’t always on the same day, but eventually I had it all done.
And they matched.
Fifteen Minutes of Summer Page 15
