I may not be certain of much, but one thing I know without a doubt is that no one will ever be able to live up to the bar Thad has set. He’s ruined me for all other men and the sad thing is, I don’t even care that he has. Because right now I have him and right now is what I care about.
“Here we are,” Thad announces, pulling the truck off the gravel road into a clearing between the trees.
“And here is where exactly?” I ask, leaning forward to look around.
“Cedar Lake.” He pulls in between two large trees to the right, then pops the truck in reverse, backing us toward the water that has come into view through the back window. “My dad used to bring me fishing here all the time as a kid.”
“You fish?” I question. Like many things with Thad, I find that hard to imagine.
It’s easy to pretend we’re from the same world but when I really sit back and think about it, I don’t think our worlds could be further apart.
“I used to.” He backs the truck right up to the water before he shoves it into park, killing the engine moments later.
“How long has it been since you’ve been here?”
“Two days ago.”
“Two days ago?” I question.
“I like to come here to think. Helps me reconnect with who I used to be. Reminds me of who I want to be.” He pulls open the truck door and quickly slips out before I can respond.
Waiting until I’ve slid into the driver’s seat, he offers me a hand and guides me out of the truck, spinning me to face the water the instant my feet hit the ground.
“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” he speaks directly into my ear, his breath tickling my neck.
“Beautiful,” I agree, loving the way the sun hits the water just right, making it look like it’s sparkling.
We’re in a pretty heavily wooded area. Other than the small gravel road we took to get back here there doesn’t appear to be any other openings in the woods – at least not that I can see from here. In fact, I see nothing at all. No houses. No docks. No boats. It’s just us. Us, the water, and nature.
“Come here.” Thad steps around me, taking my hand before leading me around to the back of the truck.
“What are you up to?” I question when he lowers the tailgate and offers to help me up.
“Just shut it and get in the back of the truck.” His smirk turns into a full smile when I roll my eyes and allow him to hoist me up.
I push to my feet and step to the side to let Thad hop up. He intentionally brushes his body against mine as he slides past me.
Popping open the large tool box that’s attached at the head of the bed of the truck, Thad pulls out a blanket. He fans out the thick material before laying it down, the edge coming to rest just at my feet.
“Sit,” he orders, retrieving a small cooler hidden inside the tool box.
I don’t hesitate taking a seat in the middle of the blanket, watching him with unhidden curiosity as he sets the cooler off to the side and slides down next to me.
“What’s in there?” I ask, eyeing him up and down.
“Drinks and snacks.” He smiles, popping open the lid before retrieving two waters.
“Drinks and snacks,” I repeat slowly, not sure what to think about him right now. This whole thing seems completely out of character for him and yet at the same time feels right. Like he’s done it for me a hundred times before.
“In case we work up an appetite.” He winks, his smile turning wicked.
“And you’re not at all concerned that my family is expecting us home?”
“Nope.” He looks extremely proud of himself as he continues, “I called your mom when I got to the airport. Told her your flight had been delayed a couple of hours. By my calculations we have approximately three hours before they’ll be expecting us.” He extends a bottle of water to me which I take and set off to the side.
“Well aren’t you clever,” I tease, completely surprised that he thought all this out just to get some alone time with me.
“I’ll show you clever.” He chuckles, tossing his bottle of water to the side before grabbing me by the forearm and tugging me into his lap.
I go willingly, straddling his legs as my arms go around his neck.
“You better be careful, Mr. Mitchell. A girl could get used to this,” I warn, smiling down at him.
“Oh I’m counting on it.” He leans forward, kissing the middle of my chest where my shirt dips at the same time that his hand slides up the back of the material, his fingers dancing against my spine.
“Mmm.” I drop my head back when his lips move upward, his tongue darting out to slide across my exposed collar bone.
“Tell me what you want, Laken.” His free hand pulls the front of my shirt lower so his lips have access to the swell of my breasts.
“You.” I arch my back when he pulls the material further, sucking my nipple into his mouth through the thin fabric of my bra.
“Just me?” He moves to the other side, repeating the process.
“Just you.” I moan when he presses upward, grinding his thick erection between my legs.
“Ask and you shall receive, baby,” he mutters against my chest before both of his hands disappear from my body seconds before my shirt begins to lift. The thin tank discarded somewhere behind us before he works the straps of my bra loose.
“Thad,” I cry out when he sucks my nipple into his mouth on a deep pull the instant my bra is gone. He moves to the other, pulling it in just as hard causing me to wither above him.
Before I’ve even registered his movements, he shifts, taking me with him, my back coming to rest on the blanket seconds later. With Thad hovering over me I can see the lust in his eyes, the desperation I know we both feel.
There is no build up with us. There hasn’t been since our first night together. We start out slow and it lasts all of two minutes before we’re ripping off the rest of our clothes and going at it like wild animals.
Today is no exception.
Clothes are torn away in reckless abandon, tossed from the truck without a care where they end up. It’s less than a minute from the time my back hit the bed of the truck to when Thad is sliding inside of me.
Like being brought to life, every inch of my body sings as he begins to move inside me. I wrap my legs around his back to give myself more leverage, lifting up to meet each thrust. He hits me so deep I can feel him everywhere.
Only the closer I get physically the deeper he seems to weave himself into me emotionally as well. It’s like a nagging, overwhelming feeling that starts in the pit of my stomach and works its way into my chest. Fear and uncertainty blends with something that feels an awful lot like love. Coupled with the pleasure coursing through every inch of my body, it’s almost too much to take. And yet it isn’t nearly enough at the same time.
When he falls apart above me, my name a whispered word on his lips, I already know it’s too late. There’s no fighting it. I can’t deny it anymore. I’ve fallen for Thad Mitchell and there’s not one damn thing I can do to stop it.
The thought is quickly drowned out by the orgasm that rips through me, pulling a carnal cry from the back of my throat. My vision blurs and my entire body trembles. The pleasure so intense I hold my breath for fear of saying something I won’t be able to take back.
Chapter Twenty-one
It’s been nearly a week since my trip to L.A. and while I’ve grown extremely anxious waiting to hear from my agent, I have had quite the distraction to keep me busy.
I’ve tried not to obsess over it too much. I knew it was going to be a few days before I heard anything and up to this point I know they have yet to announce anything so I’m still in the running. I think. Not obsessing over one thing has led me to obsess over another and as such I’ve seen more of Thad this past week than I have the entire time I’ve been home.
We steal kisses in the barn, touch hands when no one’s looking, and play footsie like teenagers under the dinner table. I’ve spent every night in his arms, managing
to force myself out of his bed before dawn so no one’s the wiser.
This thing happening between us has blossomed since that day at the lake, bringing us close in a way I never saw us being.
I can’t say for certain but if I’m going on Thad’s actions alone I’d say he’s just as taken with me as I am with him. Though deep down I can’t help but wonder if maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part.
I’m about to head to the barn to tend to the horses, which is code for go see Thad, when Chris comes strolling into the kitchen, his gray shirt soaked in sweat and dirt smeared across the side of his cheek.
“You need a shower,” I tell him, waving my hand in front of my face even though I can’t actually smell him from where I’m standing on the other side of the kitchen.
“You’re one to talk.” He points to my pale yellow shirt that’s smeared with soil from the garden.
“At least it doesn’t look like I’ve dipped myself in a vat of sweat.”
“It’s called hard work, little sis. Maybe you should try it sometime.”
“I think I’ll pass.” I turn my nose up playfully. “If everything works out I’ll be out of here in a few days anyway.”
Again, wishful thinking. I’ve been doing a lot of that recently. And even as I say it a weird knot forms in my stomach at the thought.
“Heard from your agent yet?” He pulls open the fridge and grabs the pitcher of ice tea out, setting it on the counter as he retrieves a cup from the cabinet above.
“Any day now. I hope,” I mutter the last part to myself.
“Where you off to now?” He eyes me from the side, his focus shifting between me and the tea he’s filling his glass with.
“Gonna go check on the horses.”
“Pretty sure Thad tends to the horses, doesn’t he?” Chris sets the pitcher down and turns, propping his hip on the counter as he raises the glass to his lips.
“And?” I question like I have no idea what he’s implying. “Does that mean I can’t go peek in on them and maybe take Cocoa out for a ride?”
“Maybe if that was what you’re actually doing.” He meets my gaze over the rim of his glass before lowering it to the counter.
“If you’ve got something to say, Chris, by all means, say it,” I snip a little harsher than I intend to.
“You may think you’re being slick here, sis, but I gotta tell ya, you suck at hiding shit.” He shakes his head.
“I really have no idea what you’re talking about.” I continue to play stupid.
“So that’s how you’re going to play it?” He scratches his chin, a smile playing on his lips.
“That’s how who’s going to play what?” My mom comes bounding through the kitchen, a laundry basket balanced on her hip.
“Nothing. Your daughter here forgets what hard work looks like. Thinks she’s funny.” He gives me a look that says this isn’t over before turning and shoving the tea back into the fridge.
“Speaking of work. Laken honey, do you think you could hang these clothes on the line for me?”
“Sure, Mom.” I give my brother a look that reads screw you before shuffling over to my mom and taking the basket from her hands. “When I’m done I’m going to take Cocoa out for a while.”
“Just stay on the main property. You know how your father feels about you riding alone.”
“She won’t be alone. I’m going to go with her,” Chris interjects, setting his glass in the sink. “What do you say, sis? Meet you at the barn in twenty?”
“Sounds good.” I give him the most unphased smile I can muster before quickly turning and exiting the house.
—-
“So, are you going to tell me or are you going to make me drag it out of you?” Chris waits until we’ve ridden a good fifteen minutes from the house before saying anything.
“I’m not really sure what you think I should be saying.” I keep my focus forward as he rides next to me.
“Look, you don’t want to admit to anything, and that’s fine. But that doesn’t make what’s happening between you and Thad any less real. Because something is happening. That I’m sure of.”
“I’m not sure if that’s any of your business either way.”
“Since when do we keep secrets from each other?” he questions, a hint of hurt in his voice.
“I love you, big brother, but this part of my life is off limits. I’m not going to trade sex stories with you.” I crinkle my nose, throwing him a pointed look.
“So you’re sleeping together.” He nods. “At least you’re willing to confirm that much.”
“Remind me again why the hell you care.”
“Normally I wouldn’t, but as your brother I feel obligated to discuss something with you before whatever is going on with you two goes any further.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning there’s a lot about Thad you don’t know. A lot I’m assuming he hasn’t told you.”
“Like?” I gesture impatiently for him to continue.
“I need you to promise me you won’t tell him I told you. No one knows except for Mom and Dad, and me of course. The others were told what I’m sure they told you. Thad was having trouble finding a job. Dad did his dad a favor by hooking him up with an income and a place to stay to boot.”
“So there is more.” I nod, having known from the beginning that there was more to the story.
“You knew?”
“I suspected. Though I have no idea why he’s actually here.”
“Promise me you’ll keep this between us. We’ve done our best to keep it out of conversation for a reason. I can’t have you run back there and lay his shit out in the open. It’s important that you don’t.”
“Of course I won’t,” I assure him, growing more curious by the second.
Chris pulls his horse to a stop and I immediately follow suit, guiding Cocoa directly next to him.
“Thad’s an addict,” he says, his tone apologetic, although I’m unsure why.
“What do you mean he’s an addict?” I say, needing much more information than just a blanket statement.
“Opioids. Heroin. Who knows what else?”
“He’s a drug addict?” My head starts to spin, a buzzing deep in my ears.
“Was. I guess recovering addict is the better term. He’s been clean for about a year now.”
“He’s a drug addict,” I say again, trying to wrap my head around it.
Chris nods before continuing. “I guess it’s something he got into in high school. Got in with the wrong crowd and it spiraled from there. He was in and out of jail and rehab several times in his late teens and early twenties. At some point he got busted with a pretty substantial amount of drugs and ended up serving six months. He did a court ordered rehab after he nearly died of an overdose two months after his release. His father arranged for him to come to the ranch the day after he completed the ninety day program. Thad agreed that leaving the city was the only way he was going to stay clean so he went along with his father’s plan. He’s been here ever since.”
“Wow.” I shake my head, still not really sure what the hell to say.
“I’m guessing based on your reaction that he hasn’t said a word about any of this.”
“Nothing. I mean, deep down I knew there was something everyone wasn’t telling me, I just never dreamed it would be this.”
“I’m sorry to lay it on you. I just thought you deserved to know the truth and I figured he wouldn’t tell you. He doesn’t talk about it. Like ever. I think it makes it easier for him to pretend that it isn’t real. But it is real, and while he’s sober now, this addiction will always be a part of his life. He will have to work every single day to stay clean and that’s the hard truth of the matter. Thad’s a good dude and it’s clear he cares for you, but you need to understand what you’re getting into before it gets too serious.”
“That’s why he doesn’t drink.”
“Exactly. He can’t have any type of substance that might cause him to re
lapse. At first he used to avoid any situation where alcohol was involved but now it doesn’t seem to bother him. It was never alcohol he had a problem with.”
“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me this himself,” I say, trying to disguise the hurt in my voice.
“Can you blame him?”
“I guess not.” I sigh. “I just wish he had trusted me enough to tell me the truth. Then again, we’re only hooking up so why would he?”
“Only hooking up?” Chris arches a brow like he doesn’t believe that for one second.
“It’s nothing serious,” I explain, even though for me it’s been serious since the moment it began. “We’re having some fun until I go back to L.A.”
“You keep telling yourself that, kid. See how long it takes for you to actually believe it.” He kicks his heel gently, nudging his horse to start moving.
I sit completely motionless for a good twenty seconds before doing the same, Cocoa and I trotting up next to him moments later.
“Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?” he questions, glancing in my direction.
“Act like you know what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling. You’ve done that for as long as I can remember. You think you know me better than I know myself.”
“Maybe I do.”
“I’ve been gone for four years, Chris. People change.”
“They do, and you have. As have I. But you’re still my little sister and I know you at your core. Some things are hardwired into who we are.”
“That doesn’t mean you know what I’m thinking,” I counter.
“No, but I have eyes. I can tell by the way you look at Thad, by the way you twist your hair nervously when you’re in the same room as him, by the way you constantly try to fight your smile every time he glances your way. You’re in deep, sis, whether you want to admit it or not. And if I had to guess, I’d say he is as well. So while you may be telling yourselves this is just a casual hookup, there doesn’t appear to be anything casual about it. I just want you to prepare yourself. Leaving may not be nearly as easy as you think it will be.”
Force of Nature Page 13
