by Jack Hunt
I stayed out there for about another half an hour before I trudged back feeling like a total idiot. Could twelve months away from the horrors we’d faced have softened me up? Maybe I needed to get back out there. Going on runs was one thing. Like watching too many gory movies, the undead no longer held the same fear as they once did. While we recognized the danger, our minds had got used to seeing Z’s shuffling along. We had seen even fewer of the mutated ones. Baja thought they had either died, which seemed absurd to me as they were already dead, or his other bright idea was that they were too busy having a zombie orgy under the ground. I went with the first; it sounded the most plausible out of the two.
As I made my way towards Ethan Winthorpe’s home, I passed those who had worked through the night to put out the fire. Their faces were blackened by smoke. A look of shock locked their eyes ahead.
That was something I noticed about being part of the community versus our tiny group. More people meant that few noticed what one person had or hadn’t done. Just like it was in Castle Rock before all of this kicked off. Everyone was so into their own drama, goals, hopes, failures and disasters that they rarely stopped to cast a glance your way.
There was no embarrassment to be felt as everyone’s mind was preoccupied by what they had seen.
I strolled up to the massive estate that I had stayed in when we first arrived. It was a stunning home that would have cost a complete fortune. A group stood outside smoking and chatting about what they had seen. I passed by them like a ghost.
Inside, Rowan, Jess and Izzy were talking to the leader of district seven.
Ethan dealt with district one.
Sebastian, district two.
Noah, three.
Alexander, four.
Annora, five.
Imara, six.
Keren, seven.
Eyes washed over me without a word spoken. I perceived them as judging, though it could have been anything. So much of how we perceived others was filtered through the way we viewed ourselves.
I felt terrible. Other must think the same, and so on.
Rowan smirked like usual. But that was to be expected. The guy was a prick. In the burgundy-colored dining area, seated around the huge table with twelve red-and-cream striped chairs, was the rest of the leadership, along with Ben, Elijah, Baja and anyone else who could cram into the little space available.
“Then tell me where they are?” Ethan said
“We don’t know,” Imara replied.
“I would like to know how they managed to get explosives into the building without being frisked.”
“Their weapons were taken and we assumed that someone had patted them down.”
“Obviously not.”
Ethan’s eyes met mine for a brief second before returning to the others. I could tell he had a lot weighing on his mind. The stress of leadership wasn’t something I would have been willing to take on. If it didn’t go to your head, it would eventually cause people to turn on you. One person couldn’t please everyone. There would always be those who felt you could do better, speak better, write better and lead better. But the truth was, it was all subjective. What was foolish to one was greatness to another.
“Did anyone manage to extract information from them? What group they came from? How they happened to end up in Paradise?”
“I can answer that,” I said. Heads turned. The leadership shifted in their chairs.
“We came across them in the city. They held us up and probably would have taken the load we had. My guess is they operate alone.”
“And who decided they should return?” Alexander asked.
“It’s part of the agreement,” Ethan reminded him.
“Ah yes, the one that not all of us agreed with,” Sebastian said.
“I don’t have to remind you that the majority voted, that any and all that were found, whether hostile or not, were to be given the chance to return to Paradise,” Annora said.
“Right, because you think a hostile can change,” Sebastian replied.
“You did,” she spat back. “Or would you have rather we left you in the hole we found you in?”
He sneered.
A murmur spread across the group. Why Sebastian had been given the chance to lead a district was still a mystery to me. The guy was an asshole. While I understood the idea of having seven leaders overseeing the needs of others and then in turn voting on what was best for all, it still didn’t ring true for me. We were told that the people had chosen who should be leaders. What people? Not our people. We had arrived after the fact.
“Enough with the squabbling. This isn’t getting us any further towards understanding how they managed to detonate explosives inside,” Ethan said.
“Explosives?” I muttered.
They all looked at me as if I’d had my head under a rock for the past several hours.
“We need to reassure the people. Let them know that it’s still safe here in Paradise,” Imara said.
“Agreed.”
“But can we be sure?”
“We’ll tighten up security on the access points. No one gets in without being patted down.”
“I thought that was already the rule, or have you become lax in governing district one, Ethan?” Sebastian said with a tone that seemed almost belittling.
“You focus on your district, Sebastian, I will govern mine.”
“That’s all well and good. But what happens when our district is affected by the way you run yours? Let’s face it. Your job is to protect and oversee the two access points and section A. Now part of that lies in ruins. It doesn’t speak well of your ability, now does it?”
Murmurs spread.
“Sebastian,” Annora reprimanded him. “That’s enough.”
“I’m only saying what everyone is thinking.” He cast his eyes around the room. “Our districts are only as safe as those who are protecting the access points. District one has two points of entry. District five has one. We have none.”
“District five does not have one. Shelter Island is fully contained and cleared. There is not, and will never be a threat there unless an attack comes from the water. And far as I have seen, Z’s don’t swim,” Annora replied confidently.
“I’m just saying. There needs to be more attention given to district one.”
“And how do you suppose we do that, Sebastian?”
“Maybe you have bitten off more than you can chew, Ethan.”
“And you think you could do better?”
“I don’t think. I know. I could run one and two without these kind of issues.”
“Would you listen to yourselves?” Alexander said. “This is not about who can do a better job. It’s about reassessing where our weak spots are, fortifying and adding additional security where it’s needed. If that requires more people living in district one, then I am more than willing to tell the five hundred in district four that we will be moving. There are more than enough homes to house us.”
“Why should anyone have to move?”
“Better question, why is everyone divided?” I asked.
“Don’t interrupt,” Sebastian said.
“Really?” I replied.
“You would do well to keep your tongue in check,” he said without even looking at me.
“And you would do well to shut the fuck up for once and listen to them,” I said.
He glared at me along with several others from his district.
“Are you going to allow this, Ethan?” he said casting a glance over everyone who had also grown tired of his rants. Ethan’s chin dropped then he looked at me.
“Johnny,” Ethan said reluctantly. “Apologize.”
“For what? Having a voice?”
“You get to air your voice, every three months,” Sebastian said.
I let out a laugh. “What is this place coming to? Is this it? This is humanity’s attempt at rebuilding? No wonder we all screwed up. Everyone wants to be the chief, but nobody wants to be an Indian.”
&n
bsp; “Actually that’s not politically correct now,” someone said.
“Oh fuck what’s correct. There is no correct way of doing things. It’s all subjective. We’re lucky we are all still alive.”
I stared back at them deadpan.
“You will remain silent or you will be dealt with,” Sebastian added.
“I’d like to see you try,” I stepped forward.
“I don’t doubt he would have to try hard,” Rowan said letting out a small laugh. “Yeah, we heard about you last night.”
Eyes bore into me. I felt myself becoming hotter. It felt like my collar tightened around my throat.
“Oh, it was you who abandoned your post?” Sebastian said. “Now if I’m not mistaken, you are part of district one, are you not?” he chuckled looking at Ethan. “Not only can you not protect your district. You can’t even keep your men in check.”
“That’s enough from you,” Ben said stepping forward.
“Are you going to allow this, Ethan? What’s next? Them overthrowing us?”
“Not exactly much to overthrow in your camp, is there, Sebastian?” I said.
He pursed his lips together.
“You’re a fine one to speak,” Rowan said.
“I don’t need this shit. At the rate you assholes are going, this house of cards is going to fall in on itself in a matter of months. And to be quite honest, I hope it does.”
With that I turned and left.
CHAPTER 5
I WALKED the few miles back to our house. No one followed. I didn’t expect them to. With more people, and more security, the need to cling to those who might help you survive became less important.
Arguing was what it had come down to. It always did before the apocalypse and nothing had changed after it. As life inside the walls created a sense of safety and stability, everyone naturally had less to deal with. All the small issues that would have usually fallen by the wayside now became big issues. Like who should lead? Who should speak, move or shit? Before, when we were reliant on each other, sure, we got up in each other’s faces but no one told anyone when they couldn’t speak.
You get your opportunity to speak once every three months.
“Cheeky asshole,” I muttered.
And yet it was to be expected. How many companies, religious institutions and community groups ran that way? Anyone who rocked the boat was seen as a troublemaker, a thorn in the side, an outsider.
The truth was, humanity had and always would struggle with power. It didn’t matter how good, honest or transparent people tried to be, eventually the responsibility to govern others would lead them into enforcing rules and regulations on others.
What you can smoke.
What you can drink.
What you can say.
What you can… fill in the blanks.
It was the same shit, repackaged up for those now trying to rebuild.
Of course, no one would want to feel like the odd one out and so most would abide by whatever led to a peaceful life, even at the cost of being shut down.
Well, I wasn’t going to be shut down.
If there was one thing good thing this apocalypse had done, it was that it had leveled the playing field. There was no government telling people where they could go, how they could live, what they had to abide by. It was a new world. Fucked up — but new.
After showering, grabbing a bite to eat and trying not to think about the lives that had been lost the previous night, as there was nothing that could be done for them now, I went over to the closet that held the clothes I had worn the day I left Castle Rock. I held them up to my face. They no longer reeked of death. They were clean but torn in areas. I had kept them as a reminder of where we came from.
I slipped into them, looked in the mirror and reflected on all that had changed. My brother came to mind.
You were meant to be here, Dax. You were meant to have made it, I told myself.
Lost in thought I didn’t hear Wren come into the room. I noticed her in the corner of the mirror. She was standing in the doorway.
“You haven’t worn those in a long time.”
“I haven’t felt like the person who once did.”
She came in and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “You’re not going to stay, are you?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Her eyes dropped to the floor before she made this smacking sound with her lips.
“You don’t want to leave?” I asked.
“Why would I? My brother is here. Everything we need is here. Venturing out is insane.”
“I guess that depends on what you think sane is.”
“How long did it take you to get here? Isn’t it time you put down some roots? At least here we have a chance,” she said.
“Doing what? Listening to those assholes? Pretending the world has gone back to the way it was? It hasn’t. Nothing has changed. Z’s still roam. So we carve out an existence here, play good neighbors and bide out our time. For what, to be governed by another set of idiots?”
“Is that what this is about? Now wanting to abide by rules?”
I never replied.
“I don’t think it’s got anything to do with the rules. You need to decide what you want, Johnny.”
“What do you want?” I asked her.
“You, this place, a future without having to fight every day. Isn’t that enough? Am I not enough?”
I hesitated to reply, still mulling over that part about what I wanted.
“Well, I guess that’s your answer,” she said getting up off the bed.
“Wren.”
She left the room. I didn’t stop her. I’m not sure why.
As strange as it was, few appeared torn up about the whole explosion and the death of sixty people. That’s because death had become a way of life. While we hadn’t witnessed it before on that scale inside the camp, it still occurred, usually on runs for food or medicine. Not everyone returned. Survival carried its own risk.
That afternoon I went over to North Haven to get on the ham radio. It was set up inside a small shack. A large metallic structure towered over the one-bedroom home that was empty. Inside, I pushed back drab-looking curtains to let in some of the daylight. It smelled musty inside.
“Specs. You there?” I spoke into the mic and waited. Someone else came on the line.
“That Johnny?”
“Yeah.”
“Hold up, I’ll grab him.”
While I waited, I pulled out a granola bar from my bag.
“How you holding up?” Specs asked coming on the line.
It was always good to hear his voice. I’d missed him. I brought him up to speed on what occurred last night. My reaction and the aftermath.
“Sounds heavy. You thought anymore about heading this way?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna do it. Though, how are you folks holding up with resources?”
“Fine man, why?”
“I have to ask. Have you considered coming this way?”
“Not really. We’ve built a home here, Johnny. Others have joined and well… you would be blown away by how much this place has changed since you last saw it.”
Communication between us went silent.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“What makes you think anything is the matter?”
“How long have I known you?”
“Long enough.”
“Then cough it up.”
I sighed. “Back in Castle Rock, I wanted out of the town. We all did. When all of this kicked off, we really didn’t have a choice in the matter. Everything was pushing us to find somewhere that was safe. Now that I’ve found it, at least I think I have, I’m not sure I want it. Does that sound strange to you?”
He laughed. “Everything that comes out of your mouth is strange, bud.”
There was a pause.
“No. No, I don’t think it is. Let’s face it, Johnny, before all of this, we all focused on distractions. Schooling. TV. Internet. A car
eer. Travel. Making money.” He paused. “Outside of that what have you got? Basic living. Survival. Very little to aspire to beyond the day-to-day tasks which have become a hell of lot harder. Now that’s all well and good but if you’re not comfortable with that, it can leave you feeling restless. Me, well, I grew up living like the apocalypse was right around the corner. It’s not foreign to me.”
“I didn’t think it was for me.”
“Until Paradise you haven’t slowed down enough to barely think. Every day was about staying alive. Now there’s more than enough of you to carry the load, boredom has set in.”
He was right on the money. After Castle Rock, we hadn’t slowed down. Every moment of the day was spent looking over our shoulder, fighting Z’s and anyone who crossed our path. Now, to some extent that was no longer there.
“That’s probably why they are at each other’s throats,” Specs said. “It’s no longer about surviving. It’s about thriving. And as much as people want a community to thrive, they want to individually thrive. For some that is being top dog. It’s that competitive mindset that existed before all of this. It’s what drove people to boast about careers, money, where they’d been in the world and everything they owned. Cause let’s face it, take away all of that shit and what’s their boast about? What’s there to compete over? Land, position, titles, authority.”
And that was it in a nutshell.
“This is why you need to be here,” I replied with a laugh.
“I am there — just not in body.”
“Thanks, Specs.”
“Just remember. It’s not going to be any better here. Everyone still has to pull their load. And in many ways, it is more difficult because we are in an isolated patch.”
“But you have all the towns around.”
“Yeah, but it’s still risky. There aren’t enough of us to clear them like there is where you are.”
“How many do you have now?”
“Last head count was around nine hundred.”
I swallowed on a piece of my granola. “Are you serious? We left there and there was less than thirty. That’s almost the size of Castle Rock.”
“We’ve expanded. The Fortress walls are wider, thicker, higher and well, like I said, you wouldn’t recognize this place.”
