by Lisa Kessler
Rounding the boulder, I finished buckling my belt and looked up to find Nadya on her feet, staring at me. My gaze ran over every inch of her exposed flesh, and suddenly I was ravenous to touch her. I frowned and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans, forcing my lungs to pull in some cool air.
“Guess you didn’t get undressed in time, huh?”
She looked down at her ragged clothes and laughed. “You think?”
Deep in the shadows of my damaged soul, an ache festered. I rubbed my chest. “You handled the change pretty well.”
Small talk wasn’t anything I practiced. Ever.
“I survived it. That counts for something, right?”
She took a step closer and I noticed her hard nipples pressing against the remains of her tank top. Remnants of her bra and underwear were discarded on the ground behind her. Shit. I met her eyes again and did my best to keep mine from wandering.
This woman had no idea how sexy she was.
“I had the most incredible night. Well, except for the shifting. Childbirth’s got nothing on turning into a wolf. Although I’ve never given birth, so I guess it’s not fair for me to say, but…” She shook her head, her cheeks flushing with color. “I’m rambling. Sorry about that.”
Strangely, the corners of my mouth started to curve up. What the hell was it with this girl?
Jason and the others finally arrived, interrupting us. Saved by the Pack. Jason swooped in with his doctor questions, but I didn’t miss the way he stumbled when he saw her torn tank top barely covered her breasts.
And it pissed me off.
I frowned again, clenching my fists. Definitely time to go.
“Night everyone.” I tipped my head toward my Alpha, clasped forearms with his brother, Aren, and got the hell out of dodge.
Once I was far enough away that her scent was clear of my nostrils, the fog lifted in my mind. I didn’t want any part of Nadya, no matter what my body might think. I could almost hear the clock ticking her life away every time Jason looked at her.
Darrien Fonthill, the genetically enhanced werewolf that bit her, gave Nadya a death sentence. None of the juiced-up werewolf soldiers had survived Project Moonlight, the Nero Organization’s government experiments, not that they cared. Sick bastards.
And Nadya wouldn’t be any different, regardless of how hard Jason tried to save her.
The sunrise lightened the sky, coloring it by the time I reached my bike. I opened the saddlebag. Grabbing the black leather riding gloves, I swung my leg over the seat. Orange and yellow painted the heavens and dimmed the stars. I drank in the growing light and pulled on the gloves. My black helmet hung on the side of the other saddlebag. As long as I was up in the mountains around Lake Tahoe, I could get away without wearing it. No police up here to hassle me.
This was my favorite time of day. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the clean mountain air. Mornings made the day feel new, unburdened by reality. No one looked at me with pity lining their faces, or invited me to come by to share a meal as if that would fill the gaping hole inside me. Like some chili and cornbread might right the wrongs in my life.
Don’t think about it. I growled and slid on Ray-Ban sunglasses.
Tipping the bike up, I kicked the stand out of the way. Time to get the hell out of here. The Harley roared to life, ripping through the silence. I gave it more gas, enjoying the deafening rumble of the engine. With a tight grip on the handlebars, I let out the clutch and took off down the mountain road with a vengeance. Wind in my hair, cold air stinging my face, I opened the throttle on the bike and tried to stay ahead of the ghosts of the past.
Just another fucking day.
…
I burned through an entire tank of gas touring the roads around the lake until the weight in my chest finally started to lighten. It didn’t matter. Nothing really filled the void. The best I could hope for was a distraction.
When I got back to Takoda Motorcycle Restoration, I still couldn’t sleep. I had a one-bedroom apartment behind my garage. Typical bachelor pad, I guess. It had a bed, a big screen television, a little kitchen, and a toilet with a shower. I didn’t even bother going back there.
Instead, I settled into work. A 1964 Harley Panhead Duo Glide was my current project. Ever since the X-Men movies decided to put Wolverine on a Harley, my workload restoring old motorcycles had doubled, and it suited me fine. Working on a classic bike kept me focused on something I could actually fix instead of wrestling with hindsight that would never bring my family back together.
This Harley had a sidecar, but the fender was rusted through in two places. The new one was ready, painted a sleek ivory, but the old hex nut was corroded onto the lock washer, so getting the original parts off the sidecar was tricky. Just as the rust started to crumble and the nut moved, the front door chimed, alerting me someone came in the entry of the garage.
Figures. That’s what I got for leaving it unlocked.
“Just a sec…” I called out, wiping the grease off my hands as I headed toward the front.
A familiar scent greeted me as I rounded the corner. “Nadya?”
She smiled. “Sorry to drop by like this. Are you too busy to talk now?”
Yes! But instead I shook my head. “I guess not. Come on back.”
I didn’t wait for her. My heightened werewolf senses aided me even when I was a man. She was following me. Why would she want to talk to me? We’d only spoken a couple of times over at Adam’s horse ranch. Ever since her sister had brought her to Reno to keep her safe from Nero, she’d been helping Adam’s wife, Lana, with the twins. We had nothing in common that I knew of, and since Jason was making it pretty plain he was interested in more than just saving her life, I didn’t want to get involved.
No room in my world for drama, and the last thing I needed was more death. This beautiful woman would bring me both.
“So the doctor let you out on your own?” I kicked out a stool for her and went back to work on the sidecar, but I couldn’t help noticing the way she kept looking around my workroom, strewn with greasy parts and tools. Was she sorry she’d stopped by yet?
“Jason doesn’t know. He dropped me off at my place with strict instructions to rest, but I couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged and leaned forward on the stool.
I raised a brow. “Why’d you come here?” The lock washer finally came loose and I spun it free to set it aside on the workbench.
“Because I have questions, and when I ask Jason or the others anything, their emotions drown me. They’re all worried for me, I get that, but I need to live while I can. No sense wasting time worrying about something we may not be able to stop, right?”
I picked up a wrench with a snide smirk. “And I’m the one who doesn’t give a shit.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Her voice got a little softer. “I should go. You’re busy working. Sorry for interrupting you.”
She slid off the stool, and I should’ve let her walk right out the door, but something about Nadya made it tough for me to be the asshole I wanted to be. “You can stay.”
She turned toward me, her green eyes locked on mine. Was she reading my mind?
“I can’t read your thoughts.”
I tried not to jump. “You sure?”
“I don’t need to read your thoughts.” Her mouth curved into a sad smile. “I’ve seen that expression plenty of times before.”
“Sorry.” I gestured to the stool. “It’s pretty obvious I’ve never known an empath, huh?”
“And I’ve never known a motorcycle mechanic.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief, surprising me. Didn’t she remember she was dying?
I smiled in spite of myself. “We’re even then.” Leaning back against the workbench, I crossed my arms. “So what kind of questions do you have?”
She grinned and I tried not to notice she had a dimple on one cheek. “When you shifted for the first time, could you control the wolf once it took over?”
I kept my eyes on my work, no
t trusting myself to look at her any longer. All I needed was for her empathic senses to pick up on my true feelings. Well, the ones other than bitter indifference. That was my go-to emotion these days.
“I was fifteen the first time Gabe and I shifted.” Just saying his name out loud hurt.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her frowning, standing to come closer. I put my greasy hands up to ward her off.
“I’m fine.”
She stopped. “No, you’re not. You’re hurting.”
“Like I said, I’m fine.” Grabbing my pliers, I kept working. “The wolf was just another part of me. My mother grew up as a member of the Paiute Tribe up at Pyramid Lake. She raised us to recognize our heritage and our connections with the land and the animals. Maybe that helped? I don’t know.”
I shrugged, bottling up the memories again. This woman was getting in my head somehow. It had been years since I talked about my mother. “Long story short, when I shifted, the wolf and I worked as a team. During the full moon, I let the wolf take the lead.”
She settled on the stool again, clasping her hands together. “Who is Gabe?”
“Was.” My pliers slammed against the workbench harder than I intended. Grinding my teeth together, I bit back pain and regret I had no intention of sharing. Not with her. Not with anyone. “He’s dead.”
“I’m sorry.”
Thankfully I didn’t hear her moving from the stool to give me an unwanted hug.
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.”
It was mine.
“How long ago did he die?” she asked.
I spun around to find another part to work on. “I thought your questions were going to be about shifting into a werewolf. I don’t have time for a walk down memory lane.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” She stood. “I had no idea your brother was dead.”
“Now you do.” I resisted the urge to look at her and focused on my work. “Any other questions?”
“That’s okay, I’d better go.” She walked out of the shop area and turned just as I looked over at her. “You know, you’re not the only person who has lost someone they love.”
The front door opened and closed. Without another word, Nadya was gone.
I wiped my hands on a rag, trying to dig up some anger.
Anything to cover up the fucking emptiness.
Chapter Three
Nadya
I jumped in the shower as soon as I got back to the apartment. Every time I closed my eyes, the pain etched into Gareth’s face haunted me. What happened to his brother? Whatever it was, the wound was fresh, and I hadn’t missed the wave of guilt that escaped him before he put the lid on his bottled-up emotions.
It was none of my business. He had made that perfectly clear.
Hot water massaged my shoulders as I breathed in the steam and stared at my hands. Hard to believe they were paws just a few hours ago. Weird. Deep inside, the wolf growled, sending a rumble through my chest. My pulse jolted. Shouldn’t it be resting until the next full moon? Suddenly my palms tingled with heat. Opening and closing my fingers, I winced. My joints ached.
Stumbling out of the shower, I reached for the towel and frowned. The pain vanished. I turned my hand, examining both sides. Everything looked normal.
My heart pounded. Fonthill, the lunatic who bit me, could shift whenever he wanted. He didn’t need the full moon. Only his head had changed that night. My sister had offered her life for mine while the Pack moved in for a rescue. But he’d known he was dying one way or the other, and the best way to hurt my sister was to poison me.
The scientists at Nero had juiced up their werewolf soldiers, including Fonthill, with adrenaline to simulate the pull of the moon’s gravity, allowing the wolf to come forward at will. It also led to paranoia, aggression, and brain hemorrhages.
Was it happening to me already?
I didn’t want to hear the answer. There wasn’t anything Jason could do to stop it, short of somehow getting Fonthill’s mutation out of my bloodstream. Panicking wouldn’t help me.
Talking myself off the ledge, I wrapped the towel under my arms and stared into the mirror at the jagged scar on my shoulder where he’d bitten me. My death sentence. I ground my teeth together, struggling to contain the raw anger and bitterness. It wasn’t fair, but knowing that wouldn’t make that scar vanish, and it definitely wouldn’t cure me.
It would ruin the time I had left.
And I’d never give that sick bastard the satisfaction.
I turned away and headed to the laundry closet. Hopefully the clothes were dry, so I’d have something clean to wear for my date tonight.
If you could call it a date.
Jason had invited me out to dinner. A few weeks ago, it would’ve been a date. I’d gone out to a movie with him pre-bite, and we had a great time. He was handsome and intelligent, with a charming knack for making me laugh.
Since I’d been bitten, things between us had changed. Now, whenever we were together, the constant undercurrent of his urgency and concern were inescapable. If it was possible to turn off my empathic “gift,” it might help, but I couldn’t do that, any more than I could get rid of this mutant werewolf blood.
Either way, now Jason seemed more like a concerned doctor than a hot boyfriend. Maybe he sensed the change, too.
I pulled a pair of jeans out of the dryer and tugged them on. The hot denim fabric slid over my skin like a warm embrace. My new heightened senses magnified the pleasure. I closed my eyes and smiled. Lately, I tried to notice everything. To really live. I didn’t want to miss a single thing. Plus, feeling grateful made it more difficult to wallow in self-pity.
The doorbell rang, and I glanced at the clock. Jason was early. I opened the door. “Hi, I just need to get my shoes on. Want to come in?”
He flashed me a stunning smile, kissing my cheek as he came inside. When I arrived in Reno, Nevada, Jason was the first member of the Pack I’d met. I didn’t know he was a werewolf back then, just a hunky doctor who could’ve passed for Wolverine minus the hairdo.
When Fonthill had realized Sasha had a sister, I became a target and she’d bought me a plane ticket to Reno. The Pack took me in while Sasha and Aren did their best to stop Fonthill. I didn’t even know werewolves existed.
It seemed like lifetimes ago.
I got busy buckling my sandals while Jason sat on the loveseat, resting his elbows against his knees. “How did you sleep?”
“Great.” Lucky for me, Jason wasn’t psychic.
“That’s a good sign.” His relief washed over me like a tidal wave.
The truth was, I couldn’t sleep anymore. I’d slept a total of twenty minutes over the past three days. I probably should have told him, but being a doctor, he’d prescribe some kind of pill to force me to sleep, and knowing my time in this world was limited, I didn’t want to spend what little time I had left feeling lethargic and gross.
Besides, I knew as well as he did that we didn’t know what kind of reaction I might have to medication. Now that my blood had…changed.
If I started to feel too bad I’d come clean, but I really felt amazing overall—other than a few minutes ago in the shower. Pushing the thought from my mind, I focused on the positives. My senses were heightened now, like I’d been bitten by Peter Parker’s radioactive spider.
Only the guy who bit me was a mutated green beret. And instead of making me into a superhero, he’d doomed me to die of a brain hemorrhage.
Okay, so sometimes it was hard not to wallow in self-pity.
I took a deep breath and smiled at the handsome werewolf on my couch. “Where are we going for dinner?”
“How does a big steak sound?” Jason got up and offered his hand. I looked up into his bright hazel eyes and took it.
“Sounds like heaven.”
…
We walked into the restaurant, and all eyes turned our way. I could feel gusts of jealousy, curiosity, and lust waft over us like a summer breeze. I should’
ve been used to the attention by now. Jason stood over six feet tall, so even with my high-heeled strappy sandals, he still had a few inches on me. And he smelled like a forest after it rained. Clean and fresh. Who wouldn’t want to be his date?
He took my hand and our fingers twined together naturally as we followed the hostess. Seated at our intimate table for two by the window, I watched the candlelight flicker in Jason’s eyes. He started to smile. “Hope you like this place.”
“It’s beautiful.” A wave of his relief swept over me. I wished some emotion would churn inside me. Why did I feel so detached?
We ordered our dinner, and the waitress quickly delivered two glasses of merlot to our table. I glanced out the window at the nearly full moon, and caught myself wondering if Gareth was all right. With a sigh, I reached for my glass, swirling the wine before taking a sip.
Jason leaned in closer, lowering his voice. “Are you all right?”
I nodded and swallowed. “Yeah, I’m fine.” After a second’s pause, I met his gaze. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” He lifted his glass.
“What happened to Gareth’s brother?”
Jason almost choked, and his surprise at my question would’ve been obvious even if I wasn’t empathic. As he set the glass down, his eyes narrowed with wariness and…jealousy?
“Did Gareth tell you about Gabe?”
I gave a small shrug. “He mentioned him. I didn’t realize his brother died.”
Jason pressed his lips together and sat back in his chair. “A jaguar murdered his brother the night Adam met Lana. The jaguar dumped Gabe’s body up at Lake Tahoe to make it look like she killed him.”
My stomach tightened into a hard knot. “Did you find out who really did it?”
Jason sighed, running his fingers along the base of his wineglass. “I think Adam and Aren know, but they haven’t shared the information with the Pack.” He looked up at me again. “It’s probably for the best. Gareth is a loose cannon. Adam’s doing all he can to keep him from abandoning the Pack. It didn’t help that Adam and Aren both took jaguars for their mates.”
