by Lisa Kessler
Russ sent a text saying the deal was moving forward. I’d have documents to sign by the end of the week. The news should have lifted my spirits. One step closer to a new life in Colorado.
But kissing Nadya, tasting her lips and feeling her body respond to mine, recognizing her as my mate, it all scrambled everything I thought I had worked out. I’d been so close to escaping my past, but the sadness in her eyes had been my undoing. I took her to Pyramid Lake, told her things I’d never shared with another person.
Any man would be lucky to have her in his life. But I didn’t deserve her. She should be with someone like Jason. He had his act together, made a good living, and he was pretty even tempered most of the time. However, the thought of Jason touching her had the wolf growling inside me.
Jealousy didn’t change the fact that Nadya should have a man who could open his heart and love her. Deep down, I was broken. Something shut down the day I got the call my parents had been killed by a drunk driver. Gabe mourned. He went through all the stages.
But not me. I couldn’t face the pain. I started building an emotional barrier to be sure nothing ever wounded me like that again. If I never cared about anyone else, I couldn’t get hurt.
Then I lost Gabe. My last tie to my family, my Pack, my heart. It didn’t help that I’d let him go out hunting without me that night.
Shit. I’m not going down that road. Not now.
Clicking on the television, I laid back on the bed, hoping for a distraction, but my eyes drifted closed and the second the darkness surrounded me, I saw Nadya, her full lips parted, asking me not to go.
And in my dream, I stayed.
…
From the Journal of Dr. M. Granger – Journal Entry 524
I consulted with Dr. Jason Ayers today regarding the female subject, Nadya Dalca. He is hesitant to accept my input, but on General Miller Sloan’s recommendation, Dr. Ayers finally agreed to share her case file. His concern for the female seems to overstep the professional boundary of a physician, but that could further our cause.
She has survived her first full moon and successfully shifted into a wolf. As of yet, she has not exhibited the ability to take the form of a wolf without help of the full moon. Perhaps the mutation in Fonthill’s DNA did not pass through his bite. I will need blood samples to study and compare.
I stressed the importance of gaining access to the subject to make my own assessment. She is meeting with Dr. Ayers tomorrow morning and I am hopeful I will be able to examine her as well. If her blood is lacking the mutation, I will introduce the serum and document any changes.
Chapter Nine
Nadya
Jason’s office was in the medical tower adjacent to the hospital. Since I’d been bitten, the combined odors of disinfectant, blood, and urine turned my stomach. How Jason tolerated it on a daily basis was beyond me. I couldn’t imagine ever getting used to the nasty assault on my heightened senses.
His nurse assistant, Becky, opened the door to the waiting room. “Nadya?”
I got up and followed her inside. She took my pulse and blood pressure. In the silence of the exam room, I realized I could hear her heartbeat, and a second, faster pulse.
“Are you expecting?”
Her eyes widened. “How did you… Did Dr. Ayers tell you?”
I cringed inwardly. Sometimes, I was still so surprised by my new werewolf skills I forgot to hide my abilities as well as I should. Hated to blame Jason, but he’d understand.
“He may have let it slip.” I smiled. “How far along are you?”
“Ten weeks.” Her features lit up. “We’ll start telling everyone in a couple more weeks once I’m out of the first trimester.”
“Congratulations.” She hung up the blood pressure cuff and I rolled my sleeve back down. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you.” She typed some numbers into the computer and headed for the door. “Dr. Ayers will be right in.”
I pulled my phone out of my purse, knowing there wouldn’t be a message from Gareth, but I couldn’t help checking. I hadn’t slept more than ten minutes last night. Lying in bed for hours in the dark gave me plenty of time to think. Although I didn’t know my mate very well, the wolf inside of me accepted him and loved him unconditionally. And that protective streak carried over to my human heart as well.
The only way to protect Gareth, to keep from hurting him, was to fight this and to live. I hadn’t exactly been excited about my prognosis before, but until I kissed Gareth, part of me had accepted my fate. I’d been gradually making peace with the fact my life wasn’t going to be as long as I’d always imagined it would be.
Now it was more than just my life in the balance. If I died, Gareth would be alone. Forever. As insane as it sounded to the human part of my brain, the thought of abandoning him and leaving him to hurt for the rest of his life was unthinkable.
I had a whole new reason for living, and every intention of fighting for every breath.
It was time to stop hiding my symptoms and come clean to Jason.
“Hey, Nadya.”
Speak of the devil. I slipped my phone back into my purse and forced a smile. “Hi, Jason.”
He washed his hands and turned to face me. His expression sobered. “What happened?”
Apparently, crying all night hadn’t done wonders for my complexion, but Becky had been kind enough not to mention it.
“Plenty, actually.” Would I be able to say the words without tears? “Last night I found out Gareth is my mate.”
“There’s no way.” Jason stepped back, puffing out a breath like I’d just sucker punched him in the gut. “Is that what he told you?” He shook his head and reached for my hand. The wolf inside me went very still. “Those are old wives’ tales. The Pack has been telling us since we were kids that we’ll know our mate when we touch them. It’s a romantic notion, but trust me, there is no physical way you can touch someone and suddenly they’re your one-and-only-for-life.” He smiled, but it never reached his eyes. “I’m a doctor. I would know.”
“Aren told me he knew Sasha was his mate as soon as their skin touched.”
“He also had head trauma at the time.” He released my hand and went to the cart with the computer on it. “Your blood pressure is a little elevated, but nothing alarming for our kind.”
Apparently we were done talking about the mate issue. I cleared my throat. “Jason, I can’t sleep.”
His eyes met mine. “That’s normal under the circumstances. You’ve been going through a lot of changes—”
“In the past week I’ve slept maybe two hours total.”
A muscle in his cheek clenched and the energy from his concern raised goose bumps on my arms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to worry you. We all know the path I’m on, and we don’t have any idea how to stop it. But we need to find a way.” Gareth’s pained eyes flashed through my head. I fought another wave of tears. “I need to beat this, Jason. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
He rolled his stool over and pulled out his iPad. He didn’t keep my real medical records anywhere public. Humans didn’t know werewolves existed and the Pack had no intention of changing that.
After typing in some notes, he looked up at me. His expression was all business, the calm bedside manner he’d mastered over the years, but his worry didn’t escape my senses.
“Besides not sleeping, have you noticed any erratic mood swings or paranoia?”
“In the shower last night, my hand tingled. My joints popped and ached like I was going to shift again.”
His shoulders tensed, but his face didn’t betray the sinking feeling coming off him in waves. “You should have told me.”
“I’m telling you now.”
“Did your hand physically change?”
“No.” My gaze fell to my lap. “I got out of the shower and it all went away.”
He made some notes and set the tablet aside. “I care about you too much to be objective in m
aking a strategy for treatment. If you were anyone else, I’d refer you to another doctor.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But we both know I can’t do that.” His gaze locked on mine. “There is an option, though, but it’s risky.”
At this point I’d do just about anything if it meant I’d live. “Options are good.”
“I don’t know how good this one is, but it’s the only one I have at the moment.” He lowered his voice. “What I’m about to tell you can’t leave this room. Adam can’t find out, which means you won’t even be able to tell your sister.”
“Okay.”
“Adam’s uncle, General Sloan, contacted me after you were bitten to let me know he’d talked to one of the scientists at Nero who treated Fonthill and the others during Project Moonlight. His name is Dr. Granger. Adam would kill me if he knew I brought someone from the Nero Organization to Reno, but this guy is the only person who might be able to come up with an antidote. I discussed your case with him, but he’d like to examine you and get a blood sample.”
“You trust him?”
Jason shook his head. “Not really, but we don’t have a lot of choices.”
“And the clock is ticking.”
He sighed, grabbing the stethoscope dangling from around his neck. “Especially if you start shifting without the full moon’s influence. Fonthill had massive levels of adrenaline in his system in order to shift at will, and if you’re not sleeping, there’s a good chance it’s because the adrenaline in your bloodstream is heightened.”
“If I agree to let him examine me, how will we know if we can trust him?”
“General Sloan vouched for him, but that doesn’t hold much weight with me. Sloan works for the military, not Nero, so he wouldn’t know what they’re really working on. We can set some protocols. I won’t leave you alone with him, and if either of us gets a bad feeling, I’ll send him packing.”
“You think he’s our best chance for a cure.”
He picked up his iPad, his gaze fixed on the screen instead of my face. Not looking at me didn’t dull the thick fog of frustration surrounding us. “Sadly, yes. I don’t know what they used to mutate Fonthill’s DNA, and by the time I run enough tests to make any progress, it might be too late.”
“And he won’t just tell us what they did?”
“It was a top secret government project. It’s classified.”
I glanced up at the ceiling tiles, wishing I had some better options. Rubbing the spot on my shoulder where Fonthill changed my life, I sighed. “When do I meet him?”
…
Jason took a blood sample for Dr. Granger and then we went to lunch, but every time he caught my hand or touched my arm, the wolf growled inside of me. Whatever he thought about one mate for life, he was wrong. As much as I’d wanted to feel my body react with him a few days ago, I’d had an instant connection physically and emotionally with Gareth on a primal level.
And something happened when Gareth kissed me, binding us together. It was obvious my wolf had no interest in breaking that bond.
Dr. Granger met us at Jason’s office after hours. Jason wanted to keep my situation off the radar with his staff, and bringing in a second opinion would raise suspicions. I’d expected Dr. Granger to be a pencil-thin man with a comb-over and a pocket protector, but when he walked through the exam room door, I couldn’t have been more surprised.
His hair was silver, with a well-groomed beard to match. Instead of a doctor’s smock and a pocket protector, he wore non-descript blue scrubs revealing wide shoulders and a trim waist. Not what I’d pictured a DNA researcher to look like, but as long as he could find a way to reverse what was happening to me, I wouldn’t have cared if he turned out to be an alien.
He pulled out his stethoscope, warming it in his other hand. “Hello, Ms. Dalca. I’m Dr. Granger. I assume Dr. Ayers briefed you on my background?”
I nodded. “And you think you can make an antidote or something so I can avoid paranoia and death, right?”
“There is no antidote.” His gray-blue eyes met mine. “I will do all I can to see if we can keep your levels from rising. You won’t be like the others in Dr. Ayers’ Pack, but we might be able to lessen the side effects.”
He moved to the other side of the exam table I sat on. Jason stayed in front of me.
“I’m going to take a listen to your heart and lungs.” Dr. Granger slid his cool hand under the back of my shirt and my entire body went rigid. The wolf inside me snarled. I did my best to make her understand this male was not encroaching on her mate’s territory.
“Take a slow, deep breath for me.”
I followed directions, my gaze on Jason’s face.
Dr. Granger moved his hand. “And another.”
He finally looped his stethoscope around his neck and came to the front of the table again. “Your heart and lungs sound clean.”
I let out a sigh of relief, but Dr. Granger didn’t make eye contact as he jotted some notes on his legal pad.
“I’m more concerned about the blood sample Dr. Ayers provided for me earlier today. Your DNA has definitely modified from what we consider typical within your species.” Okay, I wasn’t enjoying being referred to as a different species, but I kept my thoughts to myself as he went on. “Your adrenal glands are already secreting substantially more adrenaline than we typically see with Lycan subjects.”
“We’re people.”
“Well technically your DNA has—”
I interrupted him, raising my voice. “I don’t care what my DNA has, I’m still a person. I’m still me.”
My pulse pounded in my temples. I shouldn’t let this researcher with no bedside manner get under my skin. Usually I had a good relationship with patience, but it seemed to have flown out the window when Dr. Granger started referring to me as a species and a subject.
“You may believe that, but on a molecular level you are no longer the person you were a few weeks ago.” He glanced up from his notepad. “Are you sleeping at all?”
I gripped the edge of the table tighter. “Not really. Maybe two hours total in the past week.”
He nodded, making more notes. “Dr. Ayers told me you shifted during the full moon. Have you experienced a shift any other time?”
“Not yet, but last night I thought my hand was…changing.”
He raised his brow as he wrote and his anticipation stoked my nerves. The bastard was excited. “Excellent. Isolated shifts in one area of the body are more difficult to achieve. Only a few of our unit ever mastered it.”
“I didn’t shift.”
He made another notation and I reminded myself that ripping his head off would ruin my chances at finding a way to live with this…mutation.
“I have more tests to run on your blood samples, but I’d like to see you again in forty-eight hours. That should give me enough time to formulate a serum to counteract the adrenaline. Hopefully it will help you sleep.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
He tapped his pen on the paper. “General Sloan mentioned to me that you might be psychic. Can you provide me with more information?”
My pulse kicked up a notch as my gaze flicked toward Jason. Ever since I was small, my mother insisted I keep my gifts hidden. There were always those looking to exploit and destroy. The Pack knew my secret, but Dr. Granger was far from being part of the Pack.
Jason’s jaw tightened. I shifted my focus to Dr. Granger. Eagerness and curiosity oozed off of him, probably typical for a researcher, and then I caught a glimpse of something else. Lies. He was trying to deceive us somehow, but reading minds wasn’t part of my gift. Maybe that was what he was testing?
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what the general was referring to.”
The light faded in his eyes. “That’s unfortunate. Our research proved that subjects with psychic abilities could withstand the alterations to their DNA longer than our non-psychic test subjects.” He made one last note and met my gaze. “I will do the best I can to help you.”
He turned to Jason. “I’ll be in touch. Please have her here in two days, and I’d like sonogram equipment next time. If I can develop a serum to help her, I need to see how her organs are responding to the treatment regimen.”
Jason nodded. “I’ll have the equipment, but you’re going to need to fill me in on all the ingredients and side effects before I’ll let you inject her with anything.”
I caught a flare of annoyance, but Dr. Granger nodded with a weak smile. “Of course, doctor.”
He turned toward me. “Ms. Dalca, try to rest and drink plenty of fluids.”
The door closed behind him and Jason rubbed my thigh. My muscles contracted in response and my wolf growled.
“What do you think?”
I released a pent-up breath. “I think he’s got an agenda, but he’s also probably my only hope, right?”
Jason started to open his mouth to answer when a knock came on the door. I recognized the scent from our Pack before the door opened.
“Come in, Dad.” Jason stood up, pushing his stool back
Wyatt Ayers came through the door with a puzzled expression, but it faded into a grin as he gave his son a tight hug before turning my way.
Jason’s father had a hard edge to him. Outsiders gave him a wide berth, but I was Pack, family, and Wyatt had taken me under his wing. Since being taken in by the Pack, I’d learned that Malcolm, Adam’s father, had been killed in the firefight against Nero at Lake Tahoe almost a year ago. Now Wyatt and Nick were the only remaining male elders in the Pack.
As Malcolm’s eldest son, Adam ascended to Alpha, but Wyatt and Nick were right there to back him up, offering advice and encouragement when he needed it. I didn’t know Nick as well as Wyatt. Since Jason and I had dated a few times before I was bitten, I’d met Wyatt first.
It didn’t hurt that he gave amazing dad hugs. If I wasn’t always so busy helping with Adam’s little twins, I’d probably try to spend more time with Wyatt. I hadn’t had a father figure since I was a little girl, and being in his embrace made me believe nothing in the world could touch me.
Wyatt wrapped me in his arms and lifted me free from the examination table, placing my feet on the floor. My wolf didn’t seem to recognize his touch as a threat. In fact, since Gareth walked out, this was the most relaxed she’d been. I drank in the comfort of his hug and smiled as he released me.
