She took a deep breath, willing herself to remain calm. "When I was five, my Uncle John deserted my Aunt Fay. She said she didn't suspect a thing. Because she suspected nothing, thought their life together perfect, she found herself with nothing. He ran away with all the funds from their checking and savings accounts. Aunt Fay got the stack of bills he left behind, no money, and two children."
"What does that have to do with us?" He interrupted, impatience resonating in his voice.
"Just give me a chance to finish, please. By that time my grandparents lived in a condominium, so Aunt Fay and my two cousins moved in with my family."
The memory of her Aunt Fay crying in desolation haunted Aurora. She heard her aunt repeating over and over to her, "Never let yourself be dependent on a man. Always have your own income or you'll never be safe. I thought I had a perfect marriage and you see what’s happened to me now."
Aurora tried to explain to Will. "Aunt Fay had to live with us two years while she went back to college to finish her degree and get a job. This meant my parents dealt with three extra mouths to feed, and a house intended for five housed eight instead. We were so crowded."
She shared her bedroom with her Aunt Fay and one of the cousins. Even though she loved and sympathized with her Aunt Fay, she had hated sharing her room. "I vowed that would never happen to me. I intended always to have my own income, always be secure on my own without depending on anyone else."
Anger and pain in his eyes caused her to hurry to explain further. "Oh, Will, it's much more than that. I've planned this for years. I've saved and scrimped and worked long hours so I could one day own my own business. It's been a dream as long as I can remember."
Will's expression showed his lack of comprehension. "I'm not like this uncle of yours. I have money in the bank and I don't intend to go anywhere unless I take you with me. You can feel secure with me. There's no need for you to own a business to find that security."
She knew his patience wore thin. His anger and hurt seemed to have closed his ears and heart to her pleas for understanding. "Will, I'm determined to have my own business. It's a dream I've had too long to be ignored. It's like you raising cutting horses with Raul. You didn't need that extra income. It satisfied a dream the two of you had for a long time. And this is something I worked toward for a long time. It's not an insult to your ability or integrity. Can't you see that?"
"No. I can't. I can only see that you have no faith in me. If you can't trust me, then there's no future for us."
"It's not a matter of trust." She placed her hands on his arms, but he shrugged them off.
"Like hell! No wife of mine needs to work." Will stood and reached for his cane.
Aurora stood, her back very straight. Would he not even try to understand her needs? "There's no need to be rude. Can't you understand I need this. Don't make me choose between you and a business. I can't let myself be totally dependent on anyone. I'll never let that happen to myself. Too many times I've seen what happens to women when they allow that to happen."
"I hope I'll see you at the party on Friday. In the meantime, I'll give you all the time you need to consider whatever you have to." Will turned and sadly walked away.
Aurora sank back to the swing and put her head in her hands. She heard Will start the truck engine and drive away. Had she just made the worst mistake of her life? What was wrong with her? Oh, I know I love Will, she told herself. Why can't I trust him enough to admit he's the center of my life? Why couldn't I trust myself and him enough to tell him so? He said he had room in his heart for me, too.
Maybe I'm wrong to want both the shop and Will. Maybe that old saying is right, maybe I can't have it all. I had to try, though.
She reclined along the seat of the swing, deep in thought with her heart breaking. With tears streaming down her face she could hardly go in and face Rose. What else could she have said to make Will understand? What could she do to make him see her point of view? Did he doubt her ability to be both businesswoman and wife? Difficult though the two might be, many women managed. Her own mother managed both jobs. Had he no faith in her?
In her heart she knew she did not want to go to Colorado now unless Will came with her. The new life she had sought elsewhere she had found here in this little West Texas town. If she bought the shop from Peggy, she knew she would love owning it.
This community contained everything she needed to be happy. Surely she had a right to her dreams. I want to have my own business, be a part of the community, marry Will, and take care of Kelly and several other children.
But, she just could not bear to see Will and not be able to be with him or, worse, to watch him with someone else. Yet, she vowed not to end up like Aunt Fay. She put her head in her hands and sobbed again. What am I going to do? Oh, Lord, what am I going to do?
* * *
Raul wiped his forehead with his bandanna. "I think I might like to kill this boy who fed moldy hay to these horses. As if losing ten head of cattle to rustlers this week is not enough, now we have to play vet to horses. He should have been the one to lose his sleep and work with sick horses for three days."
Will patted neck of the horse in the stall beside him. "No wonder the kid quit without notice. I don't understand how he failed to see the mold. Must have a water leak in the barn somewhere." The crisis passed, but neither man had more than a few hours sleep at any one time for the past few days.
"Sí, the hay all was cut at the same time. We moved it ourselves, did we not? We must find the leak in the storage area." He sank wearily to sit with his back against the stall partition. "So, tell me how things go with Aurora. Kelly seemed very happy with your picnic and trail ride on Sunday. From the way you've snapped at everyone all week, I think more is on your mind than horses. Maybe things are not so good with your woman."
"Not good is an understatement. And I’m not so sure she’s even my woman." Will sighed and turned away. "We fought over her buying that damn store. Hell, I wish she’d just marry me and forget the damn store."
Raul's head came up and he gazed at his friend with surprise. "But she has made this store a good place. She must be very proud and you must be proud for her. I think many people go there now who used to go to Lubbock or Snyder, verdad?"
Frustration and hurt were in Will's voice as he threw a handful of straw at the wall. "Yeah, so what? Why can't she just be my wife? Hell, why does she think she has to be some whiz of a businesswoman?"
Raul spoke with without his usual humor, "She is not Nancy, my friend. You cannot make her over." He shrugged. "She is who she is." His easy-going nature usually appeased his friend, but not this time.
"But why does she have to work. My wife doesn't need to work. I can support her." He reached over for his cane and busied himself inspecting the handle.
"And if I felt this way, then who would clean your house and care for Kelly?"
The blunt statement sent shock waves through Will. "Damn, I never thought about Lily. Since we’re friends and she just goes between our houses, it doesn't seem the same as working in town." He turned to his friend. "That sounds pretty insensitive. How do you feel about Lily working for me?"
"Well, I never wanted her to work. When she started helping at your house, we thought this would last just a little while, so I didn't mind so much. By the time we knew it would be for a longer time, I suppose the idea grew on me and it no longer mattered."
He gave another philosophical shrug of his shoulders. "It seemed to make her happy to have this thing for herself."
Will grinned, "And it gives her more people to order around."
Raul answered with his own smile, "Sí, and to never interfere with."
Will's grin faded, "I really made a mess of it, Raul. The first time I proposed, of all the dumb things, I talked about Nancy. I only intended to reassure Aurora that my heart had ample room for both her and Nancy, but it backfired. Then Sunday while Kelly was with you and your family, we argued over her owning her business."
Raul was silent for
a few moments, as if in deep in thought. "Listen, my old friend, I will give you one piece of advice." He hesitated, then spoke frankly. "I think you must decide for yourself if it is better to have this woman and share her with her business than be without her. She is a smart woman, this Aurora, and very beautiful. I have seen the way you look at her and the way she looks at you. A woman like this one will not come again soon to this place--maybe never again."
Unlike his wife, Raul never offered advice, even when asked. That he commented now convinced Will that Raul definitely thought him wrong. It was difficult to admit, but will knew his friend had his best interest at heart and spoke the truth.
"You're right. I guess that's why I've been in such a foul mood. Knowing I was wrong made it tough to face myself all week." He tapped his cane on his boot and then stood up. "Tomorrow at the party I'll swallow my pride and tell her I’ll take her on any terms." He glanced at his watch, and grimaced. "Actually, it's been tomorrow for quite awhile."
Raul stood and brushed off his jeans. "Then it is your birthday. Let us leave these horses now and finally go to our beds, birthday boy."
* * *
Aurora worried over her decision for days after her quarrel with Will. To make matters worse, neither Will nor Kelly had even called her. What else do you expect, she asked herself. She never expected to be so abruptly shut out of their life. Will told her he would give her time to consider, and apparently he meant it.
Had Will told Kelly not to call, or could Kelly be mad at her too? Over the weeks she had grown very fond of Kelly. Since school recessed for the summer, Kelly and Lily and Catrina came to town sometimes for lunch or a movie with Aurora. Occasionally, Lori Beth brought Kelly by and the three of them went somewhere together after work. Sometimes Rose accompanied them. A couple of times the four went to Lubbock to take Vivian to a movie. Aurora hadn't realized how much she had come to count on her contact with Kelly and her family to brighten her days, how much a part of her they had become.
To make her distress even worse, on Thursday Aurora learned that a woman on her way from the nearby town of Gail to Post had disappeared. A sheriff's deputy found the woman's car abandoned beside the road on Thursday morning. As soon as she heard the news, she knew the woman was a victim of the same two men who tried to abduct her.
On Thursday afternoon, Sheriff Beau Hodges came by to talk to her. He also was certain the same men were responsible and wanted to see if Aurora could remember anything else about the two. Once again Aurora recounted each detail of her encounter. Although her details were few, a frustrated Sheriff Hodges recorded all of her comments. Before he left, he assured her he would find the two men and the woman. Aurora prayed the woman would be alive when he found her.
By Thursday evening Aurora was so distraught that she kept losing track of Rose's conversation at dinner. When the two of them dined alone, they took their meals in the cheerful breakfast nook of the kitchen. On this evening the brightly decorated room did nothing to lift Aurora's drooping spirits. Even Rose's cheerful chatter did nothing to cheer her.
"I went to see Peggy this afternoon and she is very pleased with the reports she's heard of the store. Oh, and the activity director at the nursing home is so pleased with the donation of the old greeting cards you took by last week. Peggy especially asked me to tell you that she wished she had thought of that years ago."
Aurora stared at her plate. "That's nice, Rose."
Ignoring the lack of response, Rose forged ahead. "She said Mattie comes to see her almost every evening. Mattie's made you something of a heroine now, by the way."
Aurora played with her fork, turning it about as if she had never held one before.
Undaunted, Rose continued, "Peggy mentioned also that she appreciates the way you've dropped by the nursing home on your way back from the bank many days to fill her in on the store."
"That's nice." Aurora lay her fork on her plate to trace an invisible pattern on the table with her finger.
"You know, I think Peggy wants to give up the shop, now that she sees it can function very well without her. She enjoying her convalescence, don't you think? If you're interested, I believe she'd be willing to sell to you."
Aurora's finger fiddled with the tablecloth beside her half-finished plate of food. "That's good."
Rose threw her napkin onto the table and raised her voice slightly as she stood up. "Aurora, you haven't heard three words I've said all evening. What's wrong?"
Startled at the change in Rose's tone, Aurora jumped. She was about to burst into tears. "Oh, Rose, I'm so confused. I don't know what to do."
Rose crossed around to the other side of the breakfast nook and pulled on Aurora's arm. "All right, march right into the living room. We're going to talk about whatever it is that has you so upset."
Aurora let Rose lead her into the living room. She sat in the big blue chair near the fireplace--the one Will sat in her first night at Rose's. Now Rose positioned herself on the ottoman. "Let’s hear it. This isn't like you at all. Can you tell me what's bothering you?"
"It's Will. We argued on Sunday, and he hasn't called me all week. Kelly hasn't called me either. Will...Will wants me to marry him." Aurora stared at her lap as she spoke, apparently oblivious to the twisted napkin she absentmindedly carried with her from the kitchen.
Incredulous, Rose peered into her face. "And that's upsetting to you? I had the impression you were more than a little fond of my nephew."
Aurora sighed. "Yes, I am. I'm in love with him."
A frown creased the older woman's brow. "I see, then perhaps it's the idea of raising another woman's daughter that's causing you to hesitate."
Aurora stretched her hand out to Rose in protest. "No! You know I adore Kelly, too. You see, I think maybe I'm just the one who happened along when he decided to get back into circulation. He seems so in love with Nancy. And, after all, I've only known him for six weeks. Maybe he doesn't really love me at all."
With a knowing smile, Rose patted Aurora's hand. "You have no idea how many women we've tried to match Will with in the past three years. He wasn't interested in anyone until he saw you. Anyone who sees you two together can tell you're made for one another."
Only slightly mollified, Aurora slid her hand to her cheek to brush away an errant tear. "It's also, well, I had such a bad experience the last time I was engaged. I didn't want to rush into a relationship. I'd planned to travel before I settled down, give myself some time, become independent."
Rose placed her hand to her cheek in dismay. "Oh, my dear, those words give me goose bumps. Those are the very words I said myself so many years ago."
Rose continued. "Well, not the part about being engaged, but the part about travel sounds all too familiar."
Rose took a deep breath, as if bracing herself. "Aurora, I told you that the only man I ever really loved married someone else, but I didn't tell you why or who he was. It's a subject so painful that I never discuss it. I think I have to make an exception for you--and for Will.”
Rose stood and walked over to adjust something on the fireplace mantel and when she turned back to face Aurora, deep pain gripped her face. "I was so keen to travel and see the world before I settled down. I was in love with a man I had known all my life, you see. He was content to stay on his ranch forever, but I"--she threw her arms wide and her head back--"I wanted to see the world, experience all of life."
Her arms dropped slowly to her side and she returned her gaze to Aurora. "It didn't occur to me that I could travel as easily after I was married as before--or that life was right here, ready for the experiencing."
Rose paced back and forth as she gestured widely with her right hand. "I kept putting him off. One spring, I decided I'd take this grand trip and booked a tour of Europe that lasted most of one summer. We had terrible arguments about it, but I left anyway." Rose pounded her left hand with her right fist. "I was so certain that I was in the right, and that he was being selfish. I thought he didn't want to understand my n
eeds."
She sighed. "Well, while I was on that trip I realized that I had been foolish. We were in a different city almost every day, so I hadn't had a letter from home all summer. I had never gone so long without communicating with him by letter or phone. Oh, I missed him terribly. I realized it was I who had been selfish to expect him to wait around indefinitely. I could hardly wait to get home to tell him." Rose sat down and slumped slightly.
Seeing this gracious woman so sad pained Aurora, but compelled her to ask, "What happened, Rose?”
Rose took a deep breath and straightened her posture. "When I got home, my parents came to the train meet me. I wondered where my sister Vivian was, and asked. Even though we're very different, Vivian and I have always been very close. In my mind I see so vividly the look my parents shared in an uncomfortable silence. Finally, Mother said they had something to tell me. Well, you can guess. The only man I've ever loved was Will's father, and he had finally given up waiting for me and married my sister Vivian."
Aurora reached for Rose and clasped her hand. "Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"You've met my sister. She's very easy to love. She had never let me know how much she loved Riley, because she thought he and I would be married. That's just the kind of person she is, you see."
Rose's composure broke and she took the napkin from Aurora and dabbed her eyes. "When I left for the whole summer after Riley and I had quarreled, she thought it was really over between Riley and me. There's no way I could find fault with either Vivian or Riley. The only fault was mine." She sat with her head in her hands.
"No wonder Will is your favorite." Aurora patted Rose's shoulder gently. She should have realized, but did anyone?
The older woman raised her head and smiled through tears. "Yes, he's my favorite. I can't help it. He’s the spitting image of his father, you know. Yet, each time I see him, I'm reminded of my foolishness. I can't help thinking that if I had only been more understanding, Will could have been my son instead of Vivian's."
"Does Will know how you feel?"
Be My Guest Page 17
