I had gathered as much from my conversation with Sheriff Adams. “That’s great. I guess I can leave the house now?”
Dad looked significantly at Mom, who hadn’t said a word yet. She looked on the verge of tears, and I suddenly got that odd prickly feeling you get right before someone tells you someone died.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Sit down,” Dad said.
I chose a chair a little away from both of them, and stared at the mass of star charts and calculations. I had never really learned how to do any of that, so I had no clue what they were working on.
“Apparently, Nana says you’re being stupid,” I said.
Mom bit her lip. “Cassandra, you know we love you, right?”
There wasn’t anything good that was going to follow those words, but I nodded, mutely.
“We’ll always do anything for you, no matter what,” Mom continued.
“But?” I said. Whatever this was, I didn’t want to draw out the anticipation.
“Well,” Mom said, “the thing is that we feel it’s time you found a life for yourself, away from sorcery. We’ve watched you torturing yourself for years, but you’re a naturally independent woman, and you’ve proven you can take care of yourself.
“And we’re very proud of you,” Dad added. “Even the way you handled the vampire.”
“Yes, yes, exactly,” Mom said. “We just think it might be best if you moved out on your own. You know, there’s no better way to really learn to take care of yourself.”
I tilted my head to the side a bit. This conversation wasn’t adding up. I had already told them that I was thinking of moving to Chicago with Braden at the end of the summer. If they wanted me to leave in the next few months no matter what, then they could have found a less ominous way to say so.
I wondered if this had anything to do with the new baby. Technically, they could turn the guest bedroom into a room for the baby, but they might not want to give up the guest room, in which case, they would need my room.
“Well, I said I might go to Chicago with Braden. I guess if I decide not to, I could find my own place around here.”
I searched their faces for a reaction, but they continued to look rather grim.
“Look, you’re probably right,” I said. “Maybe I should have moved out last year, after I left junior college and started at the sheriff’s department. I guess I just didn’t want to give up your cooking.”
I smiled, but Mom didn’t smile back.
“So, it’s settled,” I said. “I’ll either move out with Braden, or I’ll find my own place. Either way, I’ll be out by August.”
“Tonight,” Dad said.
“Tonight what?” I asked.
“You have to move out by tonight,” Dad said.
“We’ve run the calculations a dozen times,” Mom cut in. “It has to be tonight.”
I closed my eyes, but resisted the urge to pinch myself. When I opened them again, I was still in the library, my parents still looked as if someone had just died, and the bazillions of star charts still spelled disaster.
“Um, you’re kicking me out?” I said. “Just like that? You couldn’t have given me like two minutes notice?”
“Well, you see, we weren’t sure-” Mom licked her lips. “It’s just that we didn’t think-”
“This has something to do with a spell you’re doing tonight, doesn’t it?”I asked. “What is the spell for?”
“It’s a disownment spell,” Dad said.
The words hung there for a long time. I’m not sure if Mom and Dad were each hoping the other would speak, or if they thought I should. I’m pretty sure my mouth wouldn’t have worked just then, so if they were waiting for me, they were in for a long, uncomfortable silence.
Twenty-one years of self doubt crashed down around me. How was I supposed to feel, I wondered? Angry? Scared? Sad? Hurt? Confused topped my list.
I remembered the conversations I had heard through the vent, the uncertainty about whether or not I counted as one of their seven children. I had supposed, when they got pregnant again, that they had decided I didn’t count, but obviously, they still weren’t sure, and they wanted to make sure.
“We’ve been staying up all night since I found out I was pregnant,” Mom said. “We’re making calculations, reading tarot cards, trying to scry into the future...”
“We consulted a seer,” Dad added. “She told us the family would face unprecedented danger in the next year.”
“We thought we’d have until the baby was born to decide,” Mom said, “but earlier this week, we found out the only time in the next year the planets line up right for this spell is tonight. So we had to decide quickly.”
“Decide to disown me?” I said. Or maybe I just mouthed it. I’m still not sure my voice was working right.
“Since this baby would make seven magical children,” Mom said, “it’s possible there’s no need, but we’re just not sure enough.”
“And we are sure you’ll do great,” Dad said. “You’re strong, smart, and independent.”
“And it’s just in name,” Mom said. “You’ll have to move out, of course, but we’ll help you get started, and of course, we’ll always protect you.”
“And I talked to my brother, too,” Dad said. “He’ll help protect you as well. He even said you could stay with his family for a while.”
Dad sifted through the pile of calculations on the table until he found an envelope. He tried to give it to me, but my hands remained firmly planted in my lap, so he set it down on the table in front of me. “There’s always more, if you need it.”
The envelope was partially open, and I could see a thick pile of hundred dollar bills inside. I did not take it.
“They just built those new apartments on the edge of town,” Mom said. “We talked to the landlord this morning, and he said you could get in right away. You just need to go over there and fill out the paperwork this afternoon. Or you could stay with your Uncle John for a while, like your dad said.”
This was crazy. They were kicking me out, disowning me, and trying to hook me up with a nice new place?
“Cassandra,” Mom said.
“My name,” I told her, “is Cassie.”
I’m not sure why saying that became so important to me at that moment, but I felt I had to reclaim some dignity. It might have been the only thing I had left.
Somehow, my legs found purchase, and I stood. For a minute or two, I just studied the flames licking the walls of the fireplace, then I scanned the room, memorizing it. There was the scroll work in the mantle piece, the scratches in the wooden bookshelves lining the room, and the gleam of the golden floor lamps.
In the middle of the room, there were the nine high-backed armchairs set in a square around the low table where star charts tried to forecast my destiny. Nine chairs. Three by three. Seven children. No, I no longer had any part in that formula.
I bent low over the table, but I didn’t take the envelope of money. Instead, I grabbed a fine tip pen, pulled off the cap, and turned to bury it in the upholstery of the chair I had just vacated. It sank satisfyingly deep into the cushiony back of the chair. I yanked downward, spilling its guts.
It didn’t make me feel any better, so I grabbed one of the books on the table and threw it into the fire.
“Cassandra!” Mom said. “Are you throwing a temper tantrum?”
“Why not?” I shouted the words, my voice hoarse and almost painful. “I’m apparently not too old to need your assurance that the baby isn’t going to replace me. Remember? We covered that when I was two and you were pregnant with Nicolas.”
With one last flourish, I picked up the envelope of money, took out the wad of bills, and ripped them in half. I flung the tattered halves at my parents before racing from the room, so they wouldn’t see my tears.
25
I FLED FROM MY HOME–NO, MY parents’ home, for it no longer had anything to do with me. All I took with me were my purse and the clo
thes on my back. I left behind me books, clothes, electronics¸ and a lifetime of memories.
For some reason, I was finding it difficult to breathe. When I reached the large circular driveway, I stood in indecision, gasping and nearly choking on a huge lump in my throat. I couldn’t find my car. Or was it mine? It suddenly occurred to me that I had nothing but what my parents had bought for me over the years. They had seemed willing enough to give me whatever I liked on the way out the door, but what did they think they were doing? Trying to buy my forgiveness? My acceptance?
There was Nicolas’s car, parked behind an old Ford Taurus. Where was my Jaguar? Oh yes, I remembered. It had landed at the bottom of a ditch, smack against a tree, and was now being totaled.
“Cassie?” I heard Nicolas coming out of the house, and approaching from behind.
I froze, every muscle in my body tense. Did he know? Had my parents told everyone, or were they planning a disownment celebration tonight after dinner?
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
So he didn’t know. Well, I wouldn’t be the one to tell him. “Leave me alone,” I managed to say. The words came out like a gasp. Then I flew to the ugly green Taurus and threw myself inside.
I couldn’t see. Tears blurred my vision as I tried five times to shove the key in the ignition. Finally, I found the right angle and turned the engine.
“Cassie,” Nicolas said, coming up beside the driver’s side door. “Wait! What’s going on?”
I shook my head. I didn’t think I could speak, and even if I could, Nicolas was not the person I wanted to speak to. He was the eldest child now, the powerful one. Eighteen years of sibling rivalry and yes, jealousy, came bubbling into my throat and I tasted bile.
I pressed my foot to the gas pedal and tore away from him, not looking back, but barely able to look ahead. It was a good thing I knew the driveway and the forested roads beyond so well, for my vision nearly failed me. All I could make out, beyond the haze of tears, was a blur of green and gray.
A few hundred yards down the road, I pulled over before I missed a turn or an oncoming car. I leaned my head against the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths, trying to still my racing heart. It didn’t help. I kept reliving the moment my parents had decided I wasn’t good enough to be their daughter anymore.
My cell phone sounded Nicolas’s ring tone. I ignored it, wondering all the while who I could talk to. Kaitlin would be too busy, even if she could understand. Evan’s face popped instantly into my mind, but I had no way to get in touch with him. He would understand, as much as anyone could, but it seemed strange that I thought of him before thinking of Braden.
Braden. I dialed his number, wondering if he would speak to me after my indecisive response to his marriage proposal. He had tried to understand my reluctance, but I could tell he hadn’t really, and that I had hurt him.
He didn’t answer, and I didn’t leave a message. I knew I needed to get a grip, so I fished inside my purse for a package of tissues. There wasn’t one. Of all the days not to have a package of tissues! Though I suspect I would have gone through a small pack in about thirty seconds, and still had problems. This wasn’t even my car, so there wasn’t the usual towel and blanket I kept in the trunk.
Great. I wiped my eyes with the backs of my hands, and dried them on the cloth of the passenger seat, then I shifted the car into gear and headed for town. There weren’t many places that Braden could be, and since it was lunchtime, I had a pretty good idea he would be at Kaitlin’s diner. Still, I called the law offices of Lloyd and Lyons to rule out that possibility, even managing not to sob into the receiver when a paralegal answered, and reported that Braden had, indeed, gone to lunch.
Kaitlin’s Diner was full to overflowing when I arrived. I managed to find a parking space, most likely thanks to the number of patrons who would have walked from downtown businesses. That’s what I would normally have done.
I passed by a long row of windows on my way to the front door, but I drew up short before I got there. There was Braden, sitting in a booth by the window, deep in conversation with a blonde woman I recognized as his girlfriend, Charlotte. Supposedly, his ex-girlfriend, but you wouldn’t know it from their posture, and the way they looked at one another. Had he called her seconds after leaving me on Tuesday night?
He didn’t see me immediately, but I must have stood there in frozen disbelief for a full minute, maybe two. Sooner or later, he would have to glance my way and see me. He waved, as if there were nothing wrong with meeting his ex-girlfriend for lunch two days after proposing to me.
I turned my back on him and took a look around the busy street, trying to decide what to do. My heart beat a little faster when I spotted a blue Prius parked a block or so away. I scanned the street until I saw Evan, heading from the direction of Lloyd and Lyons. He had spotted me and waved, but I didn’t wave back.
I’m not sure how much time passed, but before long, Braden was coming out the door, waving at me. “Charlotte’s grandmother died. She was upset, so I took her to lunch to talk. It’s not–we’re not seeing one another again. She’s just upset.”
“I’m upset,” I said.
Braden tilted his head to the side. “We can talk tonight, all right? I get off at five.”
Tonight? It seemed like an eternity away. “You had time for her.”
“Yeah, her grandmother died,” Braden said, as if I were a slow child. “Look, I’m sorry it got you upset but-”
“That’s why you think I’m upset?” I could feel another lump forming in my throat. A few feet away, I could see Evan, pausing just outside the door of the diner, trying to look like he wasn’t listening.
“If it’s not about her, then what is it?” Braden asked.
“My parents,” I managed to say.
“Are they all right?”
“They kicked me out.”
“Oh. Why don’t we talk tonight after I get off work?” He glanced at his watch. The gesture, however small, was more than I could handle at that moment. I knew things were rocky between us, and I knew I wasn’t being fair to him, but I needed someone more than I ever had before, and he had become emotionally unavailable.
I swept past him, not even glancing over my shoulder as I approached Evan, still standing just outside the door to the diner. He took a step backward at my approach, but I didn’t stop. I sailed right up to him, pressed my body fully against his, lifted myself on tiptoes, and pressed my lips into his in what I meant to be a defiant kiss.
After that, the world turned upside down.
It’s difficult to describe how I felt in that moment. There was a sort of explosion from somewhere deep inside of me, somewhere private and heretofore unknown. My heartbeat doubled in the space of a second. Warmth rushed to every part of my body and I trembled, unable to rein in the things I felt. Dampness spread between my legs and I began to throb with a need I hadn’t realized was there.
I gasped. All thoughts of Braden, Charlotte, and especially my parents were gone from my mind. The only thing that remained was this aching need. I pushed myself closer, tasting him, drinking in his scent.
For a moment, all was right with the world, and then it wasn’t. Evan was gone, leaving me there with the need and the echo of Braden’s angry shout.
I stood on the curb and looked both ways, temporarily dumbfounded by his sudden disappearance. Then I heard a car door open, and I spotted his Prius a few yards away. Before I could move, the door slammed shut again, moved by some invisible force, and it roared to life. I ran after it, but it tore down the street before I reached the place it had been.
My brain wasn’t working the way it normally did. It felt as if a cloud had settled in and obscured everything but the memory of that kiss. My hand flew to my lips, feeling the lingering warmth.
I couldn’t just stand there, I had to find him, but my car wasn’t there. It took me a minute to remember that the rental car parked just down the street would have to suffice.
Evan’s car
was long gone by the time I was ready to go after him, but it didn’t matter, I knew where I needed to go to find him. With any luck, I could find the small, unremarkable dirt path that led to Henry Wolf’s house without Evan to help. If Evan wasn’t there, I would simply wait until he returned.
It should have been a twenty minute drive, but I made the trip in ten, somehow managing not to kill anyone as I sped through the winding forest roads. I passed the dirt path at first, but realized it a few yards later. Backing the car up, I made the turn down the unpaved road.
No one was home when I knocked on the door. I pounded on it until my knuckles bled, and then collapsed against it, allowing the odd numbness to completely fill my body and brain. I would wait. Sooner or later, he would come back. At least, for the moment, my brain was utterly distracted from my more serious problems.
Time passed quickly in my lust-filled haze. I didn’t look at my watch. I didn’t even think, except about Evan. In truth, there wasn’t anything else I wanted to think about. Everything else hurt too much.
Some time later (I don’t know how long), I began feeling uncomfortable. My pulse slowed, taking the throbbing with it. The ache subsided. My brain began trying to process what had happened. It didn’t get far, but it tried.
When Evan sat down beside me on the porch, I barely flinched.
“Feeling better?” Evan asked.
“What the hell was that?” I managed.
For a long time, he didn’t say anything, and I risked a look at his dark profile. His hair fell in casual waves to his shoulders. It was longer than mine since I had cut my hair, but on him it somehow emphasized his masculinity. He had started wearing it that way in high school, right around the time I had first developed my crush.
My eyes settled on his lips, full and slightly parted, and a flush of embarrassment made me look away. I didn’t need him to tell me what that was; he had already done that. Madison had also tried to tell me, but I had dismissed her as casually as all the silly girls who thought he hypnotized them with his eyes. Madison may have been shy, and she may have been afraid of Evan, but she wasn’t stupid. In fact, she had the sort of intelligence that caused some people to keep their distance.
Cassie Scot: ParaNormal Detective Page 19
