by J. Lynn
Luke’s eyes narrowed. “What in the hell is he talking about, Lily?”
She glanced away from Micah, clenching the blade in her hand. Up until this moment, she never had to question her actions. Not even when she accepted that she wanted more, wanted Julian. She was still a Nephilim, born and trained to fight the Fallen and their minions. The line between their kind was clearly drawn ages ago, and she’d always operated on the principal that the Fallen must be stopped no matter what. She’d been able to convince herself that her relationship with Julian didn’t affect her duty. She was still Lily, but with one single act against her brethren she had changed everything.
She dropped the blade. The sound was thunderous and final. “Micah has been following me. Apparently he suspects I’m working with the Fallen.”
“What?” Luke frowned at him. “He’s been following you because Nathaniel asked him to.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Why?”
“Because of Baal,” answered Micah. “But that has nothing to do with what happened tonight. Luke, it’s her. She’s been feeding info to the Fallen.”
Laughing, Luke clapped him on the shoulders. “You’re a good hunter, but you’re dumb as a bag of fucking rocks if you really think that’s true. Lily is loyal.”
His unwavering faith in her bruised her worse than Micah’s accusation. “He found me with Julian.”
Luke stiffened. The amused grin slowly slipped away. “What?” was all he asked, and in that one word was a world of meaning.
“What do you think?” hissed Micah.
“Shut up,” Luke snarled. He stepped away from him. “What were you doing?”
She lowered her eyes. “We were talking.”
“Didn’t look like talking to me,” said Micah. “I always lose her around this time, but tonight I kept up with her. They were all over each other.” Revulsion laced his words.
“Lily. I knew you were…friendly with him,” Luke whispered hoarsely. “But not like that. Not after what happened…”
She tore her gaze from the lightly stained cement. “We kissed.”
Luke stared at her, and the deep disappointment he wore nearly broke her heart. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. It was like standing in front of Nathaniel and being lectured, but far worse.
“That’s not all.” Micah shoved past Luke. He glared down at her. “I went after Julian, and she attacked me!”
He was right, and Lily was wrong on so many different levels, but she felt her temper rise nonetheless. “You tried to stab him in the back!”
“Is that true, Lily?” Luke demanded.
“Yeah, I kicked him in his arrogant face.”
“Do you even realize how serious this is?” Luke grabbed her arm, shaking her. “This isn’t a joke! What you’ve done is reprehensible. Attacking another Nephilim in defense of a Fallen? Charges could be brought against you, Lily!”
She tried to pull away, but his hold was bruising. If she had thought of that for a second before she attacked Micah, she wouldn’t be in the situation she was in. “I understand. It doesn’t change what I did.”
Luke shook her again before dropping her arm. “Micah, leave now,” he ordered. “Do not breathe a word of this.”
“Are you serious? You’ll protect her now?”
He whirled on the other Nephilim. “I will take care of this. Do not question that.” He turned back to Lily. “You can trust this will be addressed.”
Micah looked like he wanted to stay, or at least get in a good swing at Lily, but Luke had the authority. Lily did, too. Most likely she didn’t after tonight, but that was a moot point. With one last biting glance at Lily, Micah loped off the hotel.
The two remaining stood in silence. Lily wasn’t sure what to say. She knew she messed up and let what she felt for Julian get in the way. All she felt was guilt and not regret. Two very separate things. She didn’t regret stopping Micah but felt guilty because she had violated Luke’s trust.
“Lily,” he began softly. “What are you thinking?”
She closed her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t? Do you have any idea how much trouble you are going to be in?” he asked. “And I know you won’t ask me to not tell Nathaniel.”
She wouldn’t drag Luke down the path she had so willingly chosen.
“Has he coerced you somehow? Tricked you like what happened to Anna?”
Lily’s head shot up. “No,” she said firmly. “Julian has never made me do anything I didn’t want to do.”
Her words didn’t help. He pulled back as if she’d slapped him. “After what happened to Anna?”
She snapped. “I’m not Anna! Damn it, I’m not her! And Julian’s not—”
“Not what, Lily? A Fallen? Because that’s what he is. Shit. I thought you knew better than this. I suspected there was more to it, more than what you were willing to admit to, but this?”
She ran a nervous hand over her hip. Maybe if she was honest with him, he would understand. Luke always listened to her in the past. She inhaled softly, meeting his gaze with her earnest one. “Julian isn’t like the others. He hasn’t fathered a Nephilim. He doesn’t corrupt innocents like the others do. He is different.”
Luke looked like he wanted to laugh. “That’s what he’s told you.”
“I believe him. He’s not bad. You have to see that. He’s saved my life twice, and God knows how many times I don’t know about.”
“So he did nothing to Micah?” Luke raised his brows.
Deciding that lying would likely come back and bite her in the ass later, she told him what happened and how Micah’s comments had provoked him. As she told the story, Luke grew angrier. “But he didn’t hurt him, Luke. I did.”
“Which makes it all the worse.” Luke stopped and sighed heavily. “I don’t think Nathaniel would take it as a breach of Contract, but you will be punished.”
She swallowed. A breached Contract was basically going rogue. She would be thrown out of the Sanctuary, left to fend solely for herself. It had been far before her time when the last Nephilim had breached their Contract.
Some of the steam behind Luke’s anger faded as he watched her. She felt terribly small now, lost and unsure. “I think its best that you come back to the Sanctuary immediately, admit fault, and stay as far away from Julian as possible.”
Pressing her lips together, she ran a hand through her windblown hair. “I need some time.”
Luke’s brows shot up. “What?”
“Time,” she repeated. “I need time away. I have to think about this.”
“You shouldn’t have to think about anything, Lily! You know this is wrong, and it’s gotten out of hand.”
A hundred different emotions bubbled up in her, spilling over. “I don’t know if this is wrong!” she yelled. “I’ve never done anything to earn any distrust. I have always put the Sanctuary and my duty first!” She turned away, trying to rein in some sort of control. “My whole life has been dedicated to this, and I didn’t ask for any of it.”
Luke stepped behind her. “None of us did, but this is our life.”
She stared out over the city—the night teeming with bright lights, streets filled with humans and minions. There were people out there living and dying. Some were even falling in love. Three things Lily couldn’t do so easily, and, damn it, she wanted to be like them instead of what she was. She wanted the freedom to choose.
“This isn’t you,” he whispered.
She paused for a moment, then murmured, “Maybe it is.” She smiled halfheartedly. “Thank you for running Micah off. I do owe him an apology, but if he follows me one more time…” She let the threat hang between them.
Luke leaned forward. “Don’t do this, Lily.”
He knew her so well. “Michael is doing very well.” She cleared her throat against the sudden tightening. “If you could check in on him later for me, I’d appreciate it. Rafe has been wonderful.”
“Lily,” he protested. “Please
. It will be worse if you don’t come back with me. Please.”
“I just need some time. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but I’ll be back,” she told him. “Ready to face whatever Nathaniel deems fit.”
“Come on. We can go to him together. You know how Nate is. He’s not going to be too hard on you.” He forced a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You have him wrapped around your finger after all.”
She stepped up on the ledge and inhaled deeply. “Don’t follow me, Luke.”
“Lily!” He reached for her. “Don’t! Think about this for a second.”
Her decision was already made, her path chosen when she let Julian in. She launched herself off the rooftop, disappearing into the night sky.
Chapter Twenty
Julian was waiting for her on the balcony of her apartment. She sensed him the moment the building came into view. Nerves made her fingers tremble as she fished out her keys and let herself in. The first thing a Nephilim should do after committing any wrongdoing would be to hightail her butt back to the Sanctuary and report immediately to Nathaniel. The worst thing she could do was turn her back and go into hiding.
It was too late now as she crossed her living room, unlocked the balcony door, and stepped aside. “Hey,” she murmured.
Julian entered, his bright gaze settling on her. “Lily…”
“I know.” She threw up a hand. “I shouldn’t have stopped Micah, but I did.” She met his gaze. “Can you give me a few minutes? Make yourself at home.” She gestured at the couch. “I’ll be right back.”
She headed for the bedroom, quickly discarding her hunting clothes in favor of cotton shorts and a baby-doll tank from the large armoire.
Julian had moved to the couch, sitting motionless with his eyes closed. She approached him slowly, wondering what he made of all this. Was he happy she had defended him? Guilty? Or did he also think she made a mistake? Biting her lip, she sat beside him. He immediately turned to her, a soft smile on his face.
“I admit. I’m surprised.”
“You’re surprised that I stopped Micah?”
“Yes.” He ran the tips of his fingers down her arm.
She forced a casual shrug. “Seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”
“And now?” he asked.
“It still does.” She laughed at his doubtful expression. “You stopped when I asked you to. Unlike Micah, you were walking away. You didn’t deserve to be stabbed when you weren’t attacking him.”
He seemed to consider her reasoning. “But I did attack him.”
“And you stopped,” she reminded him softly.
“Only because you asked. If you hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have.” He leaned back against the cushion. “I would have killed him.”
Her eyes widened, needing to hear it spoken out loud again. “But you didn’t.”
He glanced at the television. “How much trouble will you be in?”
She sighed. “A decent amount, I imagine. I mean, I don’t think Nathaniel will kick me out or anything, but he’s not going to be pleased.”
“You’re here.” He frowned thoughtfully. “Doesn’t that mean you will be in even more trouble since you didn’t go to him?”
Odd how much he knew about the Sanctuary and their rules. She eyed him curiously. The sandy-blond hair fell forward, curving against his jawline. He was at ease on her couch, even though his mere presence swallowed it whole. “More so when I don’t show up in the morning, but it is what it is. I need time to think about…all of this.”
He tipped his head to the side. “You’re here because of me?”
This was not going to be a night where she could just lie through her teeth. Inhaling softly, she answered honestly. “Yes.”
A wondrous smile appeared, and he leaned forward, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. She thought she would surely melt into the cushions if he continued to kiss her like that.
When he pulled back, she was breathing heavy and his eyes were like brilliant sapphires. “Will they come looking for you?” he asked.
“I don’t think so. They tend to give me my space if I ask for it.”
He peered up through sooty lashes then. “Thank you, Lily, for risking what you have to defend me.”
Caught off guard by his thank-you, she laughed self-consciously. “You’re really not like them.”
“Neither are you.”
Lily shifted, stretching her legs out in front of her. “I’m no different.”
“Is it not an issue of black and white with the Nephilim?” he asked as he grabbed her wrists. He ran his thumbs over the silver cuffs she always wore, the daggers hidden inside expanded. “Is it not your duty to kill me?”
“What…are you doing?” She tried to pull her hands away, but he held on. He brought them to the vulnerable spot under his ribs—right where she had aimed for the first time but had missed by a fraction of an inch. The same spot Micah had gone for. Her eyes widened as he pressed the tip of the very deadly blade against his flesh.
He met her stare. “Why aren’t you like the rest of the Nephilim?”
Why wasn’t she? That was a good question. She could kill him right now. It was what she was supposed to do. What she had been raised for and what she had prevented earlier. Yet, sitting here beside him, she couldn’t. She would never be able to. She knew just like she knew the sun would indeed rise in an hour or so.
He removed his thumbs and the blades retracted. “Nothing is simple, is it?”
Her gaze dropped to his hands that were sliding past her wrists. His touch, soothing and unnerving at the same time, consumed her. “No.”
He pulled her into his lap. Her legs fell across his long ones, and her hands rested against his shoulders. “I think you have quite a bit of free time.”
The lightning-hot fire in her veins was already simmering. “You?”
Julian cupped her cheek. “I have all the time for you, Lily.”
Her heart did a weird little flip. She inched one leg over to rest beside his hip. “No nuns to corrupt?”
“No.”
Her gaze settled on his curved lips. “No politicians to sway into a scandal?”
His hands dropped to her hips, cradling them. “No. You okay with allowing a minion to see another sunrise?”
She grinned. “Now, what kind of Nephilim would that make me?”
“My favorite kind,” he answered.
“Is that so?” She giggled, feeling very unlike herself.
He brushed his lips over the curve of her chin. “We have all this time. What should we do?”
She could think of a dozen things, but only one she really wanted. She brought her hand down his flat stomach. Her grin became impish as she felt him harden under her heated core. She shifted so that the most intimate part of her pressed down on him.
Julian growled softly. One hand cupped the back of her neck, guiding her lips to his. His kiss was questioning at first, gentle in nature. Then it deepened, becoming more demanding. As his tongue gained entry and swept over hers, she felt it all over her body.
Soon his hands were everywhere, slipping under her shirt, caressing the hard peaks of her breasts, curving over her rear, and slipping under her shorts. Lily moaned into his mouth as one finger slipped inside her. She was already so hot and wet that it nearly sent her over the edge, but she wanted more. As his finger pumped in and out of her, she ran her hand under his shirt and over the smooth, hard skin. His breathing quickened, and when she ran her fingers over his lower belly his head fell back.
She wanted to feel him inside her, needed him to be. It was a wild desire, one born out of unbridled lust and another emotion she wasn’t ready to delve too deeply into.
“Julian, I want you.” She unsnapped the button on his jeans.
“You have me,” he groaned.
That brought a delighted smile to her face as she wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “Not like that.”
His finger stilled, his liquid gaz
e met hers and flared seductively. “You don’t know what you are asking for,” he said, voice husky and thick with need.
With a sense of will she didn’t know she had, Lily pulled his hand away. “I know you want to.”
“More than you ever know, but…” He trailed off as she rubbed his hard length through the jeans. He swallowed. “Lily, it changes everything.”
Of course it does. She would no longer be a virgin. Julian would indeed be her…first, and the knowledge thrilled her. “I know. I want this.” She climbed off him and stood. “I want you.”
He was on his feet in seconds, the jeans hanging low on his hips. “You have to be sure. There will be no going back.”
Flushed, she curled her fingers around his. “I think we passed that part a while ago.”
He stared at her, eyes keen and ablaze. Julian seemed to waver; an unknown battle warred within him. “I mean it, Lily, this cannot be undone.”
She wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t like her virginity would grow back if she wished it. Snarky thoughts aside, she was touched by his concern for her. It was obvious he worried she would regret it. Sex was just sex, and that was what she wanted desperately.
With a soft smile, she tugged on his hand. “I’m sure.”
He let out a ragged breath before swooping down and claiming her lips in a feverish kiss. There was so much passion and power in that kiss she wondered what she had gotten into, but then he pulled back and pinned her with a molten stare.
She panted. “Okay.”
His smile was crooked. “Okay.”
She had been the one to initiate this, but Julian quickly took over. He led her into the dimly lit bedroom. Her heart fluttered unsteadily, and her stomach knotted in anticipation.
The back of her knees brushed against the soft bedspread, and without saying a word, he removed the gray shirt he wore. The very air that was so laden with sexual tension seized in her lungs.
Julian was utterly magnificent. From the hard expanse of his golden chest down to the ripped stomach that begged to be touched. The unbuttoned jeans slipped farther down his hips, exposing a fine dusting of golden hair. No mortal man could be built such a way. He was heavenly, a product of perfection.
