I came to America because I thought I needed a fresh start, when in actuality, I needed a reality check. When I look back on the signs now, I realise that Callum had been acting weird for months, but I was too hopelessly in love to pull my head out of my arse and smell the roses. I guess by taking myself out of the situation with Mac now, it’s helping me to avoid ending up months or even years down the line in the very same situation of heartbreak and betrayal.
I sigh and push back my chair, stripping off my clothes on the way to the bathroom to take a long shower.
You’re saving yourself the heartache, I try to tell myself.
So why does it feel so wrong?
I’ve just got off the phone to one of the head teachers I’ve spoken to by email over the past couple of days, I got the job. I start in two weeks. I should be celebrating, but I can’t. The happiness that I should be feeling is being sucked out of me at the very notion of leaving Mac.
I want him. There, I said it. I want every, single, stupid, pig-headed inch of him, but he doesn’t want me back. There was a short period of time when I thought he did, but he’s treated me with nothing but indifference since, we’re just friends. I guess I was the one that ended up being on the losing end of the bet, and that heartache that I was trying to stop myself from feeling hits me tenfold.
Shaking my head to try and rid myself of the sick feeling that’s starting to form in the pit of my stomach, I busy myself thinking what I have to do to get the ball rolling for moving across the pond again. I need to put my notice in at work and arrange to have my things shipped back and… I have to tell Mac. Better sooner rather than later.
I grab my keys and head out of the door before I let myself talk me out of it. I hesitate as I stand in front of his apartment door, wondering if this is such a good idea. What if he has company? What if he’s not even here?
I should’ve rang him instead, this conversation would be so much easier over the phone, then I wouldn’t have to see him, look into his eyes and tell him that I’m leaving. Never mind, I take the leap and knock.
“Hold on a minute!” I hear him shout through the door.
The deep tone of his voice sends butterflies swarming in my belly and it flips over in nervousness as he opens the door, pulling on a t-shirt. “Billie, hey.”
He invites me in and I look around the room. “I err... I’m not disturbing you am I?”
“No one’s here if that’s what you’re asking, it’s just me. I’ve just got back from the gym.”
“Cool,” I say, stalling.
He leans against his kitchen bench and raises his brows at me as if to say “well, what do you want?”
I laugh awkwardly. “Yeah, so, I just came to tell you I got a new job.”
He smiles. “Yeah? I didn’t even know you were looking for a new one, but congrats, that’s awesome.”
“In England,” I blurt out.
His eyes go wide in surprise and his body stiffens, tension filling the air. “England?”
“Yeah, it’s right by where I used to live and it’s an amazing school,” I reply.
He pushes off the bench and paces in front of me. “How long?”
I watch him intently, why does he look so mad? He’s the one that was an arsehole and hasn’t spoken to me in nearly a week.
“How long?” he asks again, this time raising his voice slightly.
“Two weeks,” I practically whisper.
He stops where he is and bows his head in silence for what seems like forever, then he lifts his head and his whiskey-coloured eyes connect with mine, holding an emotion I haven’t ever seen from him before. He looks scared.
“Stay.”
What? “I can’t, I’ve already accepted the position and plus, there’s nothing here for me anymore.”
“Nothing? Nothing at all?” he practically shouts.
“Mac, I’m over what happened to me now. It’s time I moved back to be with my family,” I tell him.
“You moved nearly halfway across the world to get over an ex who didn’t realize what he had right in front of him. Do you know how insane that is? But you did it, and now you’re going back to the place that’ll remind you of that,” he grinds out.
“Why are you being like this?” I ask him.
“You’re moving practically to the other side of the world, Billie. How am I supposed to be?” he shouts, the hurt radiating off him.
“Happy. You’re supposed to be happy and supportive like any normal friend!” I shout back.
His chest rises and falls on deep breaths as he stares at me. “You know what? Go. Run away, Billie. It’s all you ever do anyway.”
Anger courses through me and I march up to him, poking him in his chest. “You’re one to talk! You need to learn to let people in, Mac, or you’re going to grow old and be very lonely if you keep pushing away the people that love you.”
Shit. Did I just tell him that I love him?
“... you’re going to grow old and be very lonely if you keep pushing away the people that love you.”
We’re in the middle of an argument. I mean, like a cursing-and-calling-pure-raw-emotion argument. I’m really angry, but her words hit me like a tsunami wave. They make me realize that even while I’m standing here, angrier than I’ve ever been before with her, I can’t imagine life without her, and if I can be this angry with her and still want to have her in my life, then it really is meant to be.
I stalk up to her, watching her seething, and just as she’s about to yell at me again, I grab the back of her neck and press my lips against hers. She tries to push at my chest but I hold her tighter, and she finally relents and relaxes her body against mine, letting me taste her lips hungrily.
I lift her up and into my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist as I walk over to the bookcase and push it to the side with my hip. I know what I want, and I’m taking it. We reach my bedroom and I lay her down on the bed, pulling away and breaking our kiss. I look into her eyes, my hands cupping the sides of her face, thumbs brushing her cheeks. I have to catch my breath at how beautiful she is. When I first saw her, I didn’t really see her, just the pile of books she was carrying followed by her ass as her hips swung side to side. But now I see her.
“You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every single irritating minute with you.” Her eyes search mine, waiting for me to say more. “Please don’t leave, call the school and tell them you can’t do it.”
She tries to talk but I cut her off with my mouth again. I pull away slightly, brushing my lips gently against hers, I whisper, “I love you, B.”
Her intake of breath has me tensing. What if she doesn’t feel the same way and she just said that earlier to make me angry?
She finally smiles that smile that makes everything in the world seem right.
“Don’t be dumb,” she says softly, her whole demeanor changing as she relaxes in my arms.
I chuckle at her comment and kiss up her neck. “Why change myself now?”
I pull my ringing cell out of my pocket and kiss Billie on the cheek as I answer it. “Hey, Con. What’s up?”
“Where’ve you been, lover boy? I haven’t been able to get a hold of you for three days.”
“I’ve been busy,” I say, smirking over at Billie as she chops into a carrot in the kitchen.
It’s been three months since I told Billie that I loved her and although she’s not moved in, much to my annoyance, she’s around here twenty-four seven so she may as well just give up her damn apartment and stop being so stubborn.
“Busy? Sure. I was just wanting to check up on everything on your end.”
“Yeah, everything’s fine here. College is a ball ache and I feel fucking old, but necessary evils, right?”
Con laughs. “Yeah, man. Listen, do you think me and Sammy could fly in and stay this weekend? She really wants to see Billie and I need to talk to you about something.”
I frown. “You know you’re more than welcome anytime, b
ut can you not just stay at your apartment?”
“Ever the detective. That’s part of the reason I need to come and talk to you. All will be revealed.”
I chuckle. “Ass, just let me know what time to pick you up.”
“Sure will, thanks, Mac. See you soon.”
I hang up and Billie shoots me a questioning look. “What did he want?”
“Him and Sammy are coming up this weekend and apparently, he’s bringing news.”
She starts to jump up and down excitedly. “Do you think she’s pregnant? Do you think he proposed?”
I shrug. “It’s a possibility, but I have a feeling it’s more to do with the business considering he just practically told me he can’t stay in his apartment anymore. I think he gave it up.”
She nods. “Yeah, that makes sense. Anyway, what time are Casey and Jude getting here? Dinner’s nearly ready and I’m Hank Marvin.”
I chuckle at her slang but before I can answer, there’s a knock on the door and she slides off her stool and runs for it, throwing it open and enveloping Case in a hug that would cut the circulation off anyone.
“Whoa, severely pregnant lady needing oxygen,” Case coughs out.
Billie giggles and lets go of my sister’s neck to rub her belly quickly. “Sorry, I’ve just missed having someone other than this douche canoe to talk to.”
Case walks over to me and hugs me. “I’ve only been gone two weeks, Bil. You must be an awful conversationalist.” She pulls back and gives me a wink as she aims the last of her sentence at me.
I chuckle and look out into the hallway in confusion. “Where’s Jude?”
Case huffs and sits down on the sofa. “Dad called, he ran. He couldn’t wait for us to be back for more than twenty-four hours before calling him up. I swear, telling them about Jude was both a blessing and a curse.”
“Oh yeah, because him being hired and paid double what he was earning at his last firm is a huge letdown.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Don’t get smart with me, I may be heavily pregnant but I can still beat your ass. Ever since he took that job he’s been on non-stop call. I think they’re punishing me.”
Billie giggles. “At least they’re talking to the both of you.”
Mom has hardly said two words to me since my visit and phone call a few months back, I think she’s waiting for me to apologize to her, but I won’t. I wasn’t the one in the wrong and until she can admit that, it is what it is. I was shocked they didn’t totally disown Case when she told them about her being married and twenty-four weeks pregnant… with twins, but I guess people can surprise you. Instead they offered Jude a better paying job and have given him a hell of a lot of benefits for when the twins come, including four months paid paternity leave to help settle them into family life. There’s a catch though, they also have to have a wedding, so Mom and Dad can both be there, so that’s booked for six months after the twins come, or six months after the due date anyway. Casey insisted she be allowed that time to lose her supposed baby weight.
“How’s studies, college boy?” Case asks as I help her up onto one of the stools.
“It’s good,” I reply.
After I told Billie I loved her, I decided it was time to start doing the things I really wanted to do. I made my way down to my old college and enrolled myself in the courses I needed to get a degree in architecture. It felt amazing when I got my acceptance letter through the mail, I know I’ve got a long four years ahead of me, but I have an amazing support system.
“Don’t let him play it down to you, he’s only been there for four weeks and he’s been praised countless times,” Billie says smiling at me.
I wave her off. “It’s going well, I feel happy, y’know?”
Case nods and automatically puts her hand on her belly. “I do. So now that I’m back from Florida to bug you, are you two finally going to call this what it is?”
Billie and I look at each other and I wink. “Dunno what you mean, we’re just taking things slow.”
“Oh please, you’re so in love it makes me sick, and you’re always together. Billie, give up the damn apartment, it’s a huge waste of money, and, Mac, stop acting like a schoolboy and admit you both lost the freaking bet so it can end.”
I shake my head. “Nope, I’m adamant that she fell in love first and until she admits it, the bet’s still on.”
Case rolls her eyes and mumbles under her breath, “Idiot.”
Billie laughs. “I’ve tried to tell him the bet is null and void since there’s no way to tell who fell first—”
“It was definitely you.”
“But,” she draws out giving me a stern look. “He’s just too stubborn. I’m about ready to admit it was me and be done with it.” My head snaps toward her, hopeful that I’ll be able to gloat. “But it wasn’t me, it was him, so I can’t do that.”
Case groans and we both laugh. We’re both as stubborn as each other.
I shuffle my feet in excited anticipation, I can’t wait to see Con and Sammy. Turns out Sammy is “Sam,” the flaming redhead that I let into the apartment building when she mysteriously lost her key, only she really just wanted into the building because she was waiting on Con getting back from work so she could talk to him. Their story is tragic and they’ve been through a lot, but everyone ended up where they were supposed to be in the end.
We met properly for the first time eight weeks ago when they came back to see how the company was ticking over and really hit it off. She’s a feisty live wire and I know we’re going to be good friends, I just didn’t know it at the time.
I see Mac wave and I stand on my tiptoes to try to see over the growing crowd. I spot Sammy’s red hair and squeal as we both run at each other for a hug. “Billie, it’s great to see you again!”
“You too, have you cut your hair?” I ask, pulling back.
She smiles widely and her bright green eyes sparkle. “I had some layers cut into it the other week, do you like it?”
I nod enthusiastically as I link my arm through hers. “I do, do you think you could sort my barnet out this weekend? I don’t trust anybody else now you’ve had your hands on it.”
I point to my hair and she giggles. “Sure thing, I’ll have to go and buy some scissors, but that’s not a problem. Hey, I heard you finally moved your things into Mac’s apartment.”
I roll my eyes at Mac and Con as they walk off ahead. “He was like a bloody caveman, I swear. ‘Me man, you mine.’ Then he propped his door open and began carrying in all of my clothes and shoes like he was on a mission.” She giggles. “No, I’m serious, the only thing he won’t let me bring is my furniture, he says it’s ‘too girly,’ but his sofa isn’t comfy enough.” I pout.
“Men. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” she says as we both hop into the back of Mac’s BMW.
“Hey, I resent that remark,” Con says from the front seat before turning around. “Hey, Billie, sorry I didn’t say it back there, this one whisked me off before he had to spend more on parking.”
I roll my eyes. “For someone with money, you’re a stingy fucker.”
Everyone in the car laughs even though I’m sure none of them have a clue what I mean, but I guess they got the jist.
“So, while you guys talk shop, me and Billie are going to go shopping,” Sammy announces, making both guys grumble. “Oh shush, you’re not going with us.”
“Yes, but we only brought hand luggage, Sammy, remember that when you’re abusing your credit card,” Con retorts, making Sammy huff and sit back in her seat, giving me a wink to show she’s joking.
Con takes the beer I hand him and sits down on my sofa with his arm rested over the back.
“How does it feel being back here again? It feels like you’re hardly ever here.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Gotta be where my heart is, Mac.”
I pretend to gag at his soppy statement. “You sicken me.”
“Right, because you’re not like a lovesick puppy r
ight now.” I roll my eyes. “I honestly never thought I’d see the day.”
“When you know, you know, you know?” I say, trying to stifle a laugh.
He chuckles. “Sure do. Anyway, talking about being where my heart is, I finally decided that coming back and forth every few weeks just isn’t working for me.” I nod. “I’ve decided to move over to Little Hollow and set up another branch an hour out of the sleepy little town.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised, although, I will miss seeing you every few weeks,” I say.
He claps me on the shoulder. “Me too, but I’ll still be coming back, just not every few weeks. So, are you up to the job?”
I tip my beer toward myself. “Me? You want me to take over?”
“Sure, you’ve been doing it practically yourself these past few months anyway. I know you’re busy with college, that’s why I hired three extra men to start next week. I’ll still want you to do the accounts, you’re the only one I trust, so just say you’ll do it and I’ll have all the papers drawn up.”
I blow out a breath. “I dunno, man.”
“Ah come on, Mac, I’m not giving you the business, I’m just asking you to run the company on this end on a more permanent basis,” he replies seriously.
I nod slowly, I’m worried I won’t be able to juggle work and college, but I’m sure I can hire someone for the office if I really need to. “I’ll do it.”
“Awesome, I’ll have the papers drawn up and sent over to you when they’re ready.” He holds up his bottle toward mine and I clink it against his. “Looks like we have something to celebrate. Have you got anything stronger?”
I smirk and walk over to my drink cabinet and pull out a bottle of whiskey I took from my parents’ house one time so I know that it’s expensive. I waggle my brows and Con laughs. “Still know how to party though, I see.”
Betting On Love Page 17
