“There’s lemonade, soda, and water in there for you. Help yourself.”
“I’ll come back in for that,” she said, carrying my beer and the platter of veggies out to the deck.
“You alluded to the fact you don’t drink because you grew up around alcohol. Are you sure that’s the only reason?” I asked when we’d set the food on the table and I’d turned on the grill.
“My foster parents were a big part of it, but I’ve worked in bars since I was old enough to drink,” she explained, twisting the cap off my beer bottle and handing it to me. “I’ve seen alcohol make sane people do some pretty crazy things.”
I was glad she was responsible enough to make sound decisions, but I wondered if her choice not to drink was in any way tied to her trust issues. “So you don’t drink because you don’t want to lose control? Are you afraid of what you might say or do when you’re drinking?”
She nodded. “I’m not saying I’ve never been drunk. When I was a teenager, I went to parties just like everyone else, drank a few too many a time or two. I realized it put me in a vulnerable position, and I didn’t like the way that made me feel.”
“So you were afraid of being taken advantage of?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
So it was a trust issue. She didn’t want to risk being put into a compromising position. It was understandable, but I couldn’t help being slightly offended she didn’t feel comfortable enough to let her guard down with me yet.
“Do you like alcohol?” I should have just let it go, but I couldn’t. “I mean, wine or beer or anything?”
“I like wine,” she said, handing me the platter of steaks.
“Would you…?” I didn’t know if I was overstepping, and I hated like hell that I was questioning myself like this. It was so unlike me. “No pressure, but would you like a glass of wine with dinner?”
She seemed to consider her response carefully, as though it was a big decision. “Sure, I guess one glass wouldn’t hurt.”
I hadn’t intended to offer her more than one glass. She’d implied she wanted to take our relationship to the next level tonight, and while I would understand if she changed her mind, I wanted her to be sober when she made that decision.
“Let me grab you a glass. Red okay?”
“Sure, thanks.”
I quickly poured the wine and returned to find her staring at the water. “Here we go.” I reached for my beer as I handed her the glass. “To the first of many nights like this.” I may have been getting ahead of myself, but I’d never gotten what I wanted by being shy or timid.
She smiled as she touched her glass to my bottle. “I’ll drink to that.” She took a small sip before she set the glass on the railing. “It’s lovely.”
“So are you.” I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ve been imagining what it would be like to have you here, just the two of us.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve spent time like this with a man,” she admitted. “I’m a little nervous.”
“No need to be. You set the tone for the weekend, Chels. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do. That goes for spending time with my family too. I know they have a lot planned for the weekend: dinners, brunches, barbeques, fishing trips, that kind of thing, but we’re not obligated to do it all. I’d like you to meet them tomorrow at brunch, but beyond that, we can do whatever we want this weekend.”
She reached for her glass, turning the stem between her thumb and forefinger. “I appreciate that.”
I tipped her chin with my index finger, leaning in for a kiss. “I just want to be with you this weekend, to get to know you better, to let you see me with the people I love most. I hope that’ll give you some insight into how you might fit into my world.” Before she could respond, I said, “Because I have no doubts about this, or us, but I know you do. I’m hopeful after this weekend, we’ll have put all of your fears to rest.”
She stroked my face, her eyes soft and sad. “I can’t make you any promises. As much as I might want to, I can’t.”
Not the answer I’d been hoping for, but I appreciated her honesty. “I told you we’d take it one day at a time, and we will. I won’t ask you to make any promises, and I’ll try to refrain from making any.” If I’d learned one thing about her, it was that she didn’t want someone to make promises she didn’t believe they could keep.
Chapter Thirteen
Chelsea
The night couldn’t have gone any better. We’d enjoyed an amazing dinner, walked on the beach, watched the sunset from his deck, talked, laughed, listened to music, kissed a lot, and now we were inside, ready to call it a night.
He picked up my suitcase and led me down the hall. “So, uh, this is the guest bedroom, and this is the master, but I guess you figured that out already, huh?”
I bit my lip, trying to suppress my laughter. He was so cute when he was nervous. I loved that a man as sexually experienced as Darius was apprehensive about saying or doing the wrong thing with me. It proved how much he cared.
“Care to share?” I asked, bumping his hip with mine. I pointed at the guest room. “Or do you plan to stick me in here all by my lonesome?”
“You want to…?”
“Sleep with you?” I whispered, looking at him. “Yes. If that’s what you want.”
He set my suitcase down just inside the master suite before turning to face me. Gripping my hands, he said, “You know that’s what I want. But if it’s too soon, I have no problem waiting until you’re ready.”
“I’m ready now.”
If someone had told me weeks before meeting Darius that I would be ready for an intimate relationship with him so soon, I would have laughed in their face, but I was ready. This felt right. I’d never expected to abstain for the rest of my life. I enjoyed sex as much as the next girl, and I knew when I met the right guy, I’d make love again. Darius was the right guy.
He led me into the room, kicking the door closed with his bare heel before drawing me in for a kiss. He took his time kissing me, letting me know he saw no reason to rush it. Neither did I. I wanted to savor every minute of this because I had no idea how long our relationship would last or whether he would feel the same way about me in a month. For now, I was intent on enjoying it while it lasted, without worrying about where the future would take us.
He slipped the thin straps of my loose sundress over my shoulders, letting it puddle at my feet. The dress didn’t require a bra, so I stood before him wearing only a white thong. I tried not to squirm under his intense scrutiny, but it wasn’t easy. I didn’t make a practice of comparing myself to other women, but knowing he’d had so many other lovers while I’d only had one made me wonder how I measured up.
“You’re stunning, Chels.”
His calloused hands drifted over my body slowly, as though he was memorizing my curves. Maybe he, like me, had decided to live for the moment, to enjoy this thoroughly, in case the future didn’t hold many more nights like this for us.
He dipped his head to kiss my neck, and I tilted my head back, gripping his broad shoulders for support. A man who took the time to kiss my neck thoroughly, from my ear to my collarbone and back again, was my weakness. My bones liquefied with every heated stroke of his tongue, forcing me to lean into him for support.
Getting the message from my soft moans, Darius nudged my feet apart with his and slipped his hand inside my lace panties. I sunk my teeth into my lower lip when his finger glided over the bundle of nerves at the heart of my desire. He continued kissing my neck as he dipped a finger inside me, followed by another. My breath came in gasps, my legs trembling, as his thumb circled the tight little bud while his fingers pumped in and out of me in perfect rhythm.
I came undone quicker than I ever had, whispering his name as I dug my nails into his shoulders while my head fell forward onto his chest. I was trying to maintain my composure, whispering instead of screaming his name the way I wanted to.
He looked at me with a
cocky smile before his lips brushed mine while his arm circled my waist. “You okay?”
“Better than okay.” Fan-freaking-tastic would have been a more accurate description. My heart was pounding like I’d run a marathon, but exercise had never been this much fun.
“I’m learning your hot spots,” he whispered, flicking his tongue over my ear. “I love how responsive you are.”
It was impossible to repress anything with him. He brought it all to the surface, whether I wanted him to or not. I rubbed the front of his athletic shorts with my palm, getting even more excited about what lay ahead. I couldn’t wait to experience everything I’d been missing with him. If what just happened was any indication, tonight would be a night I wouldn’t soon forget.
“Mmmm…” He closed his eyes as he pulled my hand away. “I’m not done with you yet, beautiful.”
I wondered whether I should tell him I wasn’t a multiple orgasm kind of girl. One was usually my limit if I was lucky. I lifted his T-shirt over his head, my mouth going dry at the sight of his bare chest. I’d only seen bodies like his in magazine ads, never in person, and he made me wonder if I was playing out of my league. Did I really belong here, with a man like him?
Before my doubts could ruin everything, he grinned, grabbing my hands and placing them on his rock-hard pecs. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”
How could he tell I was letting uncertainty creep in? Was I that easy to read?
“You have one job tonight: to enjoy.”
Hmmm, I liked the sound of that. He took one step forward, forcing me to take a step back, followed by another. Before I knew it, the backs of my legs hit the edge of the mattress, and I pulled him down on top of me.
Doubts morphed into anticipation when his mouth drifted down my neck to my breasts and lower still. I held my breath while his tongue circled my belly button before drawing a line to my thighs. His mouth was everywhere, except where I needed it most, and just as I was considering whether begging would embarrass us both, he stopped taunting me. My eyelids slipped closed as his tongue prodded me.
I was wound as tight as a coiled spring, every nerve ending in my body on high alert as I fluctuated between holding on and letting go. “Yessss….”
Darius slowly kissed a path back up my body as I tried to remember how to breathe. My head was spinning, as though I’d had six glasses of wine instead of just one, and by the time he gathered me in his arms and held me close, I was hard pressed to remember my own name.
I felt as though I should say something, but no words could describe what had just happened, the way he’d made me feel, and I knew that wouldn’t even begin to compare to what came next. I thought about returning the favor, but my body wouldn’t obey my brain. Not yet.
He chuckled, brushing his bristled jaw back and forth over my cheek. “You still with me?”
I was hovering somewhere between reality and a daze, trying to figure out how much of this was real and how much was my imagination. I’d never felt so out of it yet so into it at the same time.
“I want you,” I whispered, my eyes half-closed as I tried to focus on his handsome face. “Now.”
“Is that so?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I thought maybe I’d give you a few minutes to recover.”
“No need,” I said, grabbing the waistband of his shorts.
He reached into the nightstand and pulled out a condom before slipping off his shorts and rolling it on. I watched in fascination, thinking sculptors would have paid good money to have him pose for them. And he’s all mine. I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. At least for this weekend.
He braced his body above mine, kissing me as he inched his way inside me. Two years was a long time, and my body protested the unexpected invasion.
“Just relax,” he whispered as his lips skimmed my shoulder. “Let me in.”
That would have seemed funny had it not felt impossible. I wanted to let him in, but my body had other ideas. Surely it shouldn’t be this hard. I was more than ready and hardly a virgin, but he was big, and in spite of the time he’d taken to help prepare me, I was still a little nervous. When he sensed my hesitation, he kissed my neck and, like a masterful puppeteer, manipulated my body into total compliance. All the tension in my muscles melted away, giving him unguarded access.
“You okay?” he whispered in my ear.
It was the second time he’d asked me that, and I loved him for being so concerned, but I was better than okay. I felt better than I had in years. Maybe ever. “Yes.”
I wrapped my arms around his back, resting my face against his chest. I wanted to capture every single second of this. To remember it always. No matter what happened between us, I wanted to bank this night.
He moved slowly, taking his time, treating me to a slow build that made the impossible seem possible. I never would have thought my body capable of a triple-play, but then again, I’d never had a lover like Darius.
Skill like his came from years and years of practicing with lots of willing volunteers, but this wasn’t the time to dwell on his past. Or mine. It was time to live in the moment, to milk every drop of passion and excitement and exhilaration from this experience. Before it was gone for good.
“You’re so tight.”
I didn’t know if he was complaining, but the way his teeth were tightly clenched and a sheen of perspiration was breaking out on his forehead, I almost felt guilty my body was intent on making this so difficult for him. “Sorry.”
A strangled gasp masked as a half-chuckle slipped through his lips before he muttered, “Don’t apologize. If it felt any better, I’d probably pass out.”
Ditto. I marvelled at his self-control as he held back long enough to ensure I cleared that peak once more before he let go. Selfless was the word that came to mind when I was finally able to form a coherent thought. He was an unbelievably generous lover, and if I hadn’t already been crazy about him, I would have been after this performance.
He rolled onto his back, flinging one arm over the side of the bed, the other over his eyes as I watched his muscular chest rise and fall with every breath. Rolling onto my side, propping my head in my hand, I watched him, a smile on my lips.
Finally he peeked out from behind his arm. “You almost killed me. You think that’s funny?”
“I almost killed you? What do you call what you did to me… for me…” I felt heat creeping up my neck, but since I never blushed, I blamed it on the exertion. “You know what I mean.”
He grinned. “No, I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?”
He was fishing for a compliment, but I figured he’d earned it. “You just earned a spot in my next act with that little feat.”
“Little?” He quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I like where this is going.”
I laughed, slapping his chest. “No worries.” My eyes traveled down the length of his torso to that delicious V now partially covered by a soft white sheet. “That was definitely not little.”
“Whew,” he said, swiping a hand over his forehead. “That’s a relief. My cousins would never let me live it down if you started making jokes about the size of my…”
“Equipment? Junk?” I laughed when he shook his head, looking both amused and unsure.
“You’re too much, Chels. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation quite like this after sex.”
“What? Your other girlfriends don’t rate your performance?”
“Uh, no.”
“Then let me be the first.” I pretended to size him up while tapping my index finger against my lip. “I’ll give you an A for effort.” I licked my lips as my eyes landed on the sheet, making him groan. “A+ for delivery. A- for patience—”
“Hey,” he said, rolling on top of me and pinning my arms. “I pride myself on being a very patient man, but just to earn a higher grade, we can do that all over again in just a few minutes.”
“Are you trying to kill me?” I asked, pretending to be horrified.
His smile s
lipped before he kissed my lips gently. “No, I’m trying to bring you back to life. Is it working?”
My heart felt as if it had stopped beating. He was right. I’d felt lifeless for a long while, except when I was on stage. “Yeah, it’s working, Darius. It’s definitely working.”
***
I was so nervous about brunch with his family I barely managed to stomach the coffee Darius made and brought to me in bed. A full hour later, I looked at my reflection in his full-length mirror, trying to decide whether the knee-length turquoise halter dress was appropriate. I’d paired it with a cute pair of flip-flops and a strapless white bikini underneath, just in case we’d be expected to swim, but I still wasn’t sure I’d made the right choice. I had shown my selections to Daphne before I left, and she assured me they were perfect, but our standards were probably a lot lower than the Starkis family’s.
“You look gorgeous,” he said, coming up behind me as his arms circled my waist. “I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”
I offered him a tight smile in the mirror, but I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone. “I hope they’re okay with you bringing me. You told your parents, right? You’re not just going to show up with me and surprise them, are you? Because that would be—”
“I told them I was bringing a friend,” he said, silencing me with a kiss. “I wanted to tell them I was bringing my new girlfriend, but I thought that might put too much pressure on you.”
He was right. Meeting them was scary enough. Being introduced as his girlfriend would have sent me over the edge for sure. “Daphne and I have a motto.”
He smiled. “Oh yeah? This I gotta hear.”
“It’s none of our business what anyone thinks of us.”
“I like that.”
“Yeah, it usually works too. But today, your family… I’m having a hard time convincing myself it doesn’t matter what they think of me. I want them to like me.” It wasn’t easy for me to admit that, especially since I’d thought I’d long ago buried the need for acceptance and approval.
Darius (Starkis Family #5) Page 12
