by C. L. Stone
“You can’t be serious,” Victor was saying to Kota. “Not another physics class. You’ve already taken all of them.”
“Not a particle physics one.”
“Tell me they don’t even offer that class,” Victor rubbed a palm at his eye, looking pained. “It’s so pointless. It’s theoretical. You won’t use it.”
Silas shook his head. He caught me looking at him and offered a grin. I shared one back, pointing the open end of my fries at him.
“You don’t want any more?”
“I’m stuffed,” I said.
He reached for the carton, his fingers brushing mine. A spark started from my fingertips and then ignited in my belly. His fingers were a little coarse, but strong and warm.
“Thanks,” he said. His voice was softer now. Had he felt the same thing I did? “What classes are you going to take?” he asked.
I gave a small glance to Kota, who was so engrossed in trying to explain his desired classes, that he hadn’t heard Silas. Was I now used to Kota answering for me? “There are a few prerequisites, aren’t there? I was going to fill up on those.”
“You should take something you like,” Silas said. “It can’t be all work. Unless you’re like Kota.” He jerked his head in Kota’s direction and then stuffed his mouth with some fries.
I laughed, shrugging a little. “I don’t really know yet. I only glanced at the catalog; some of the more interesting things, I can’t take yet.”
“Like what...”
“Oh my god,” Victor said, his voice rising. The fire burned, his eyes narrowing. “Okay, I’m done. Sang, are you finished? I can’t talk to him.”
Kota looked perplexed. “You were asking...”
“I’m not asking anymore!” Victor raised his hands in the air, waving in defeat. “You win. We’re good. Let’s just do something else.”
I shared another grin with Silas, even though I wasn’t totally sure I understood what was going on.
“I’m headed to the bathroom real quick. I’ll be right back.” Victor stood, pushing his chair away. He grabbed his bag and started to walk off. He’d left his trash on the table.
Kota collected his own wrappers and Victor’s and put it all on the tray. “I’ll be right back. Maybe I should go apologize.” He walked off after Victor.
“Good luck,” Silas said. He stood up, grabbing the tray and took my empty wrapper to add to it. “I’ll get rid of this. Wait here.”
I smiled, shaking my head. The boys were interesting. Silas looked around for a place to throw the trash. He walked around groups of people waiting in line for their kids at the carousel. He disappeared behind the swirling horses.
“Hey, princess,” a voice behind me said. I turned around. The guy with the goatee sat in Silas’s seat. His oversized red shirt billowed around his lean frame. His lips curled like he was constantly kissing the air. “Your boys left you?”
His pungent cologne mixed with menthol cigarette smoke drifted from across the table making my nose wrinkle. “They’ll be right back,” I said.
He nodded with a sharp tilt. The way he did it made his chin angular and thin. “What’s your name, sweetie?”
I just looked at him, not sure what to say. His friends were still across the hallway, watching the two of us. Why did he care? Why did I get the feeling I shouldn’t talk to him? I mean, I knew he bumped into me but should I judge a person for being careless?
“I said, what’s your name?” he asked again.
“I’m Sang.”
“Sang? That’s just fucking weird. Do you sing?”
I shook my head, blushing. My heart was pounding, but not in the same way it had been with Silas and the others. This was different. The bad feeling inside of me had my mind whirling, echoing the negativity my mother whispered to me about what happened to girls when they went out.
“I’m Greg.” He patted a hand on his chest, and tilted his chin toward me. “We should go out. What’s your number?”
“I’m sorry. I should go.” I stood up, pushing my chair in. My hand flew up to my chest, rubbing over my thudding heart. Silas was still missing. Where did they go?
Greg stood and followed me. I sought out the restrooms. If the guys weren’t around, I was going to dart into the girl’s bathroom where he couldn’t follow.
I broke away from him and walked around tables, heading toward the opening to the hallway where there were signs for restrooms. As I got to the hallway, Greg continued on my heels. “Hey, I was asking you out. Why are you walking off like that?”
“I’m already out,” I said, my hands turning into fists reflexively, feeling cornered.
“Who did that to your hand?” he said, pointing at my bandages. He leapt forward and closed the distance between us. “Those guys hurt you?” His voice was grating, varying in pitch and then there was the sharp way he ended his questions. Compared to Kota’s powerful, Victor’s smooth baritone and Silas’s deep voice, Greg’s made me shiver cold.
I stepped away from him, forcing some distance between us. I met with a wall, smacking up against it. I gasped, trying to slip to the side to get out of his way. My heart was racing, feeling trapped.
Greg drew closer, putting his forearm over my head against the wall above me and looking down at me. He wasn’t that much taller than me, maybe only a couple of inches. “You shouldn’t let those guys do things like that to you. Unless you like pain? Is that your kink?”
My mouth dropped open. “Seriously, I’m not interested. I’m sorry.”
His mouth went up a fraction at the corner, smirking. “Is it because you’re dating one of those guys? Which one?”
I shook my head, not sure how to answer.
“It’s the tall one, isn’t it? I could tell. You fuck him yet?”
My mouth was dry and I choked out a no to respond. Why did I think I could get back here and escape him? Where was Kota?
He laughed and leaned in to me. “Come on. How about this? Kiss me, and I’ll leave you alone. I bet you’ll leave that guy and walk out of here with me.” His mouth was close to mine and I nearly gagged as I could taste the stale menthol on his breath. My heart raced and I had my head backed up. I wanted to push him away, but I didn’t want to touch him.
“Why are you moving away?” he demanded. His fingers wrapped around my chin, holding my face still. His fingers dug into my cheeks and I gasped because it hurt. His eyes fixed on my mouth and he lowered his head.
A hand landed on Greg’s shoulder, yanking him back. Greg flew into the air. He toppled, falling. His body hit the far wall and he slid down until he was sitting on the floor, looking dazed.
Kota stepped between us, his hands positioned in a stance I’d seen in karate movies. Holy crap, Kota knows Kung Fu.
My mouth opened to say something but I couldn’t form the words. Victor materialized next to me. He took one look at Greg and then grabbed for my good hand. He wrapped his fingers around my palm and pulled me out of the hallway without a word. Kota remained behind. Would he get hurt when Greg recovered? Could Kota defend himself?
Victor pulled me back out into the food court and we weaved our way around tables. My mind was everywhere: Greg’s bad breath lingering in my nose, the image of Kota flipping him over, Victor’s palm pressing into mine.
Silas was leaning against our table. He took one look at Victor’s face and he stood up. “Where’s Kota?”
“In the hallway. He’s got it. We’re leaving.”
Silas’s eyes scanned the food court for the hallway. “I’m going to check. We’ll meet you at the car.”
Victor held on to me as we nearly jogged out of the mall. His thumb brushed at the crevice between my thumb and forefinger. My palm started to sweat and I was embarrassed about it, but he didn’t seem fazed. The silence between us left room to worry about Kota and Silas, and I wished we could go back and check on them.
Victor didn't let go of me until we got to his car, so he could take his keys out. Victor handed off his plastic b
ag to me as he unlocked the car.
“Get in behind me,” he said. “I’m going to pull up to the curb so they can get in quickly.”
What if they got hurt? I hadn’t seen Greg’s friends around, but they must have noticed he went in there and Silas going in after them. I held the plastic bag up to my chest, folding my arms over it and trying to breathe slowly. This was my fault. I should have stuck with Silas.
Victor started the car and made a loop around the parking lot until he pulled up next to the curb in front of the department store doors. We waited. My breath caught every time the doors opened and it wasn’t the guys.
“Come on...” Victor urged under his breath, his hands twisting at the wheel.
Two minutes later, Silas and Kota both appeared at the doors and stepped out. They tried to look casual but they were walking double time and went right for the car. Silas climbed in back with me and Kota took the front seat.
I kept my eyes glued to the door of the mall as Victor pulled away. I turned, putting my knees in the seat and facing backwards to look out the rear window to watch for any sign of Greg or his friends.
“Are they out there?” Victor asked.
“I don’t see them,” I said.
“I think we lost them,” Kota said, sounding breathless, leaning against the seat. “Only I got worried when we made a circle in one department store trying to shake them.”
“Sang, it’s all right. You can sit,” Silas said. His finger jabbed me in my side. Unfortunately, it was the side that was bruised and, not expecting it, I winced and cried out an “Ouch,” before I could catch myself.
Silas’s eyes widened. His large hand pushed me back up against the seat, holding me there. He lifted my blouse away from the top of my skirt. I could feel cool air on the bruise and I shivered.
“Where did that come from?” he demanded.
“I...”
He let go of me, turning his body to face the door. His hand clutched the handle. “Turn the car around.”
“Silas,” Kota started.
His fists clenched and he spoke through his teeth. “I said turn it around.”
“It wasn’t him,” I said quickly. I felt eyes fall on me again. I swallowed, feeling my stomach twisting. “That’s from yesterday. Greg never touched me.”
The car fell into silence. I turned around, sliding into place and sitting back.
“Was it from Max?” Kota asked in a quiet tone.
I averted my eyes, focusing on the back of Victor’s seat. “Yes,” I said quietly. My lip quivered and I bit at it to stop it. How to ruin a friendship in less than a day? Lie about your injuries and get the guys into trouble over some stranger. I felt the anxiety clutching my chest. This was it. They’re going to get rid of me the first chance they got.
“Let me see it again,” Kota said. The power disappeared from his voice, replaced with something assuring, gentle. “Sang, let me see.”
I got up like I had been before. Silas assisted me with raising my shirt up a little. He tucked two fingers into the top hem of my skirt and pulled it down an inch to reveal the splotch of purple.
Kota made a face. “Sang, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
I shook my head at him. “No, it’s just a bruise. There’s nothing to do about it. Just wait for it to heal.” With my pale skin, I knew the bruise probably stood out more.
He made sweeping looks at Victor and then at Silas. Silas was unreadable. Victor continued to twist the steering wheel as he drove. I quietly moved back into my seat, reaching for the belt to strap in.
Silas reached for my hand holding the belt buckle, stilling it. “You don’t have to wear that if it hurts.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that bad. Really. You just surprised me.”
He let go, allowing me to buckle in. I noticed he didn’t strap himself in. I wondered if it was because he was so tall, it didn’t fit.
“What I want to know is, how that guy got so close to you.” Victor’s baritone voice nearly rose an octave. “Wasn’t she with you, Silas?”
“It’s not his fault,” I said. “He was taking care of the tray when Greg walked over.”
“He had enough time to tell you his name and go with you down that hallway. What were you two doing in there?”
I blushed, touching my lower lip with my finger trying to remember. “I... I was going for the restroom. I went looking for you all, but didn’t see you. I thought I’d slip into the bathroom where he couldn’t follow me.”
“You’re probably lucky you didn’t make it,” Kota said. “If he was determined, he could have followed you in and if no one else was around...” He made a face and then he shook it off. “Next time just walk into the guy’s bathroom if we’re in there.”
“No next time,” Victor said. “We’re not going to leave her by herself long enough to let ‘Gregs’ be a problem.”
I wanted to cut in, but they sounded so angry with me. I wanted to bring my knees up and bury my head in them to hide the fact that I was blinking back tears. I forced myself to look out the window. The trees and buildings whizzed past and it was making me dizzy. There was no way I would let them see how upset I was. I was glad they were safe. I was unhappy that my first real adventure out turned into such a disaster.
The car fell into silence as Victor pulled into traffic on the drive home. At some point, I dared to look at the others. Victor was still fuming but he seemed intent on staring straight ahead at the road. Kota appeared busy with his phone.
Silas was glaring out the window. His jaw was set. His fist was clenched so tightly, he was crumpling the music book in the bag between us. I didn’t want him to ruin Victor’s music sheets. I reached over, placing a hand softly on his forearm.
Silas blinked, turned his head slowly and gazed down at me. I brushed my fingers over his fist, taking a hold of the other side of the bag. When he realized what he was doing, he forced his fist open. I took it from him and in an effort to ease the tension, tried to smile.
His eyes fell on my face. His lips parted until I could see his teeth and his cheeks flushed. He offered a return smile. It disappeared again. He turned back to the window.
I managed to calm myself a little, but was still worried about what everyone was thinking. Ideas ran through my head. They were thinking how terrible it was to invite this girl along. They wondered about the best way to ditch me, possibly ignoring me the whole semester.
I tried to quiet my thoughts but it was so upsetting to think I may have just lost the first friends I had ever come across. My parents wouldn’t have to learn about this day and I wouldn’t have to worry about telling them about anyone I’d met. No one would want to invite me over any more now. I wanted to say I was probably being paranoid this time, too. It wasn’t working. Who wanted to bring a girl around who would attract trouble and needed to be babysat? I should have been the one to know what to do against unwanted attention.
While everyone was distracted, I smoothed out the slight crumple from Victor’s book. The bag opened a little and I took a peek at the title.
Winter by Vivaldi.
♥♥♥
That night, I lay awake in my own bedroom on top of the covers on my bed, and staring at the ceiling light. I was probably burning out my eyes.
The car ride home had been completely quiet. Silas barely looked at me as he left the car. Victor dropped me off at my house before going to Kota's. His car was still parked in Kota’s drive. I’d been at the window of my room a million times just to try to get a glimpse of them. There was a trail of ruffled mauve carpet between my window and my bed. I’d wondered if, at some point, I could take a walk outside, pass by Kota’s house, and see if they noticed, but it seemed like such a stupid move. Would I look pathetic and needy when they were trying to just quietly tell me to keep my distance? I’d cried a little when I got home. My eyes felt cold and I probably looked like a mess. I wouldn’t want them to see me like this.
I turned onto my side. My bed was pr
essed up against the wall near the closet. There was a small bookshelf against another wall, only half filled with worn novels. A green trunk sat under the window. The only odd part about the room was that, against the wall near the window, there was a small half door that led to some attic space.
The closet held only the small amount of clothes. My father usually bought clothes for us as my mother never went out. The selection that belonged to me was slight. I was smaller than my older sister, so we couldn’t swap clothes. Sometimes she passed down a t-shirt or pair of jeans, but it was rare.
There wasn’t a poster on the wall. No collection of photos. No decorations. The slightly faded pink flower wallpaper was a luxury compared to my last bedroom, which had stark white walls. I thought of Kota’s bedroom and how similarly we kept the large space in the middle. I wondered what he would think of my room, and then found the thought pointless. He could never come to my bedroom, and as it was now, I wasn’t sure if he would want to.
Before yesterday, my room felt like the only safe spot. If I stayed inside it, my mother couldn’t complain and punish me. Now that I’d had a taste of freedom, of meeting people that were so nice to me, it felt more like a prison than ever. Despite the fight with Greg, thoughts ran through my head of the guys and how they made me feel. It was amazing. I wanted more.
The phone rang downstairs. I turned the music up a little on the stereo box at the foot of my bed.
“Sang!” My mother called out from downstairs. “Phone!”
My eyes shot open. A phone call. Me?
I dashed down the stairs, and thundered through the hallway into the kitchen. My mother stood barefoot on the tile, wearing a dingy mauve robe, her two-tone blond hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail behind her head. She was shorter than I was, but broader shouldered and slouching. Her glassy blue eyes blazed at me. She started to hold the cordless phone to me but just before I touched it, she pulled it back, reconsidering her position.
“Who’s calling you?” she asked me. Her voice was scratchy and sharp.
I shrugged. I really had no idea. “Might be from the school?”
