Both kids looked at her with a hint of uncertainty in their expressions.
“I know things are changing. I know that you’ve seen me upset. But you both need to understand one thing. I love you. That will never change and you can always talk to me about anything—even the wedding. It’s okay for you to be excited. I’m excited for you.”
“You don’t seem excited.” Jordan tossed his spoon down in his bowl. “I don’t think any of this is right.”
Nicole took a deep breath. It touched her to the core that her son cared about her feelings, but this was not the time to appreciate that. This was the time to make things easier for him to understand. As much as it tortured her to speak her next words, they had to be said.
“There’s nothing wrong with love, Jordan. Your father and I had a beautiful time together, and as a result, we have two amazing children that we both adore. Our lives and feelings changed. Now your father has met someone who he loves, and she loves him. They will have a beautiful time together too.”
“Does that mean you’re going to meet someone new too?” Melody smiled as she picked up her cereal bowl and carried it to the sink.
Her daughter’s question knocked Nicole off balance.
“Oh no, I don’t think so. Well, not for a long time at least.”
“You can’t live in the past forever, Mom. If Dad gets to be happy, so should you.” Jordan dropped his bowl in the sink and spared her a quick kiss on the cheek.
Affection from Jordan was so rare that it brought tears to her eyes. She hid them as the kids headed off to school.
After Nicole washed the dishes she sat down at the family computer. She toyed with the mouse, watching the pointer bounce back and forth from the submit button to the cancel button on her screen.
In all the years that she’d been a mother, she couldn’t remember once taking a full day for herself. It had been very important to her that she’d always been a part of their daily lives.
But now? That wasn’t an option any more. Between school, sports, and now visits away with their father, she’d been forced to have days where she didn’t even see her kids. It wasn’t easy for her to take, but she knew that it was a normal part of their growing and becoming more independent.
That didn’t mean that it wasn’t leaving her feeling a bit lost. She thought about waking that morning to find her children dressed and ready for school. She thought of the way she’d snapped at them—not because they’d done anything wrong, but because she was so stressed. She didn’t want to be that kind of mother.
Maybe it was time—to rediscover herself as a person, not just as a mother.
She clicked the submit button on the computer screen before she could think about it another minute. Once she’d done it, she immediately wondered about the refund policy.
Then a rush of excitement pulled her right up off the couch.
“I’m going on a vacation—alone.” She smiled at the thought. “Ten days of sleeping in, showering whenever I want to, and maybe even taking a few naps.” She laughed at the idea.
Maybe it wasn’t a thought-out plan, but it was what she wanted more than she’d realized. It refreshed her to be impulsive and make a decision that was completely her own—without input from anyone else. Jordan’s comment about her deserving happiness reminded her of all the messages of support she’d received earlier on the support site. This was going to be her opportunity to come out of her shell again and embrace a new future that was in front of her.
“Cielo Spa & Resort, here I come—but first, I’m going to need to do some shopping.”
She headed back to her bedroom to check her closet and make a list.
Chapter 4
It was too early for any of his co-workers to be in the building. Gavin had planned it that way. He didn’t want Lance to head him off at the door and stop him from working. There were a few newer clients that he wanted to connect with about recent contracts that had been made.
When he walked into his office he saw the large envelope on his desk right away. For a brief moment he flashed to the last time he’d found an envelope on his desk that looked like that.
It had been from Amy—paperwork for the divorce he’d requested. She hadn’t exactly fought him on it. In fact, he realized throughout the process, that she’d wanted out. His lips tightened at the memory.
She’d asked for counseling—told him that she wasn’t happy. He told her that he wasn’t going to change.
Then it ended. Just like that.
He closed his eyes and ran a hand across his forehead. He did his best to avoid thinking about it, because at some point he finally recognized that he’d abandoned her long before the marriage was over.
But it was too late then. She was already in love with someone else—someone who didn’t prioritize business trips over anniversaries, or clients over caring for a wife as she struggled with infertility. The problems at home had felt like things that couldn’t be solved.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t give her a baby, and no matter how much she begged, he couldn’t understand why she needed him to spend time with her.
For the thousandth time, he reminded himself of what an idiot he’d been—so blind to what he’d done to their marriage. Perhaps she hadn’t respected how much he valued his job—she hadn’t tried to understand his passion for it. But that wasn’t a reason to cancel every plan they’d ever made.
He walked over to his desk and picked up the envelope. Inside was an official letter from Lance, along with two plane tickets and a reservation receipt.
Gavin sat down in his chair as he read the letter.
I know you won’t believe me, Gavin, but I’m doing this because you are the closest thing to a brother I’ve ever had. You looked out for me when the business struggled, and now I want to look out for you.
If you don’t use these tickets and the reservation, then you’ll be off the Bramley account. I need you to recharge and have a little fun. I need you to get out in the real world again.
Don’t bother trying to call me, my phone is off. I’ve instructed security to escort you from the building if you are there past nine. Don’t try to hunt me down and knock me out either, because I know where to hide. Ha ha.
Just do this for me. It’s ten days and then it’s over. Have a good trip!
Lance
Gavin shook his head as he looked over the document again. “Unbelievable.” He crumpled up the letter and tossed it in the garbage. He wanted to be angry. But he couldn’t be. Lance was the only family he had, and he knew that he was right. He hadn’t been anywhere but the office and his apartment in a very long time.
“Well, I guess I’m going on a trip.” He sighed as he picked up the tickets and reservation. He knew that Lance was serious about security. He never made a threat that he didn’t follow through with.
As he left the building, a weight lifted from his shoulders. No, he wasn’t thrilled about the trip, but a small part of him hoped that it might not be so bad. There was no way he’d leave his clients in the lurch, though.
Instead of driving home, he headed for one of the many locations that he visited on a weekly basis. His local advertising clients were scattered throughout the state and he even had a few in neighboring states. They were used to his face-to-face personal touch of being accessible at any time to them. Many times clients would seek out the company specifically because Gavin worked there, and they wanted his style of professionalism.
As he drove from location to location his mind wandered over what the vacation might be like. He planned to spend it in his room as much as possible, but he might be tempted to try out a few nice restaurants. The only time he ever treated himself to something like that was when he had an important meeting with a client.
He parked in the lot of a large department store and walked toward the entrance. As he passed a couple that clutched hands and kissed, he resisted a scowl. It was much easier to tolerate life holed up in his office or at home, where he
didn’t have to be reminded that there were happy people out there in the world.
He opened the door to the department store and stepped inside. As he headed in back to the manager’s office, he passed by a woman who held up a shirt. Compared to the plain long-sleeved shirt she wore, the blouse was bright, with a deep neckline, and looked as if it would suit her figure well. When she turned around to look into the mirror, holding the top up to her chin, she caught him mid-stare. Her dark green eyes widened, then her gaze darted away as she lowered the shirt.
He cleared his throat. “It’s a nice choice.”
Flustered, he hurried away from the awkward moment. Still, he couldn’t get the memory of her eyes out of his mind. They were a shade that he didn’t think he’d ever seen before. He didn’t dare to look back to see if she’d even noticed him. Still embarrassed, he knocked on his client’s door and tried to push the woman out of his mind.
Work always helped him to forget about anything else, and the moment his client opened the office door, the encounter was forgotten.
Chapter 5
Nicole’s shopping trip had been quite fruitful. She tossed three large bags down on her bed. The fitting room hadn’t been kind, but she’d adjusted to the fact that she’d had to go up a size. She hadn’t really gained too much weight, but things seemed to have moved into new places.
She hung the clothes that she’d bought up in her closet. After her mini-spending spree she felt better equipped to enjoy her vacation.
Over the next few days, she helped the kids get ready for their trip. The closer it came to the time for them to leave, the more excited Nicole felt about her own vacation. At a time when she’d expected to be depressed, her mind was suddenly focused on all the future possibilities.
When her ex-husband arrived to pick up the children, he stayed in the car.
Nicole grabbed the suitcases and carried them out to the car with the kids trailing after her.
Jack looked at her awkwardly through the window.
There he was. Still as gorgeous as the day she met him. His stark black hair was perfect as always, his clear blue eyes held that sparkle that charmed her from the moment she’d first met him.
But when he looked at her, there was apprehension instead of affection.
“Nicole, the kids can handle their luggage.”
“I know that.” She gripped the handles of the suitcases, then set them down in the trunk. She hugged the kids tight, then walked around to the open driver’s side window. “Be careful with them.”
“You know I will be.” He met her eyes. “Nicole, I know this has to be hard on you.” His voice was rough as he forced out the words.
“It’s okay, Jack. Really.” She smiled at the kids in the backseat of the car. “Have a great wedding. I know the kids will have a fun time.”
His puzzled expression was enough to indicate that he’d expected more of a fight.
“Thanks, Nicole.”
She nodded and walked back toward the house.
As the engine roared to life, she turned back in time to see them drive away. Only then did her heart lurch with pain. To her, it seemed as if her family was driving away with all of her expectations for what her life was supposed to have been like.
She closed her eyes for a moment, then reminded herself that she had a flight to catch. She rushed back inside to grab her own suitcase. Twenty minutes later the taxi pulled up.
On the way to the airport, she added something to her original post on Forty and Free—an update that she was on her way to try out a fabulous resort and that, though there were tears in her eyes, there was also plenty of excitement in her heart.
The flight wasn’t too long, and the seat beside her was empty. It gave her time to think, but also reminded her that there was an empty space in her life. Did she really want to grow old without a partner? She certainly felt ready to date.
At forty-two, she felt like her looks had faded. She’d found her figure again while trying on new clothes, but it was nothing like it had once been. Even a stray compliment from a stranger in the store hadn’t been enough to boost her confidence.
It didn’t help that Jake’s new soon-to-be wife was barely out of her twenties. Her skin had that fresh look, and there was not a crease or a wrinkle to be found. She hadn’t had babies or scrubbed her hands raw to get a stain out of a carpet. She hadn’t worn callouses into her feet from playing baseball with the kids on hot summer days. Those were the marks that a woman gained as she aged—worn-out places that would never be young again.
Still, Nicole didn’t feel as old as her driver’s license claimed.
She’d spent most of her twenties dreading becoming an adult, and all of her thirties waiting to feel like an adult. The day she’d turned forty, she realized that her mind didn’t age—just her body. She still longed for the same things she did as a young woman—when she really took the time to think about what she wanted.
When the plane touched down she was jarred out of her thoughts.
“Alright, Nicole, if you’re going to do this, you have to do it with the right attitude.”
An idea came to mind. Maybe—just for this trip—she’d be that woman she was before she said yes to Jack’s marriage proposal. Maybe she’d be unattached—with no past, no kids, no worn-out places. She’d spend ten days with strangers that she’d never see again. Maybe turning off part of her life would allow her to blossom into someone brand-new.
She felt a pang of guilt while collecting her luggage as she thought about pretending not to be a mom. But that guilt faded as she watched a young mother struggle with three kids and a pile of luggage.
No, she didn’t want to be that woman. Just for a week or two, she wanted to be only Nicole—fresh and eager to see what the future would hold.
A driver was holding up a sign with her name on it—waiting to take her to the spa. It took some time to get out of the city, but once the buildings were left behind there was nothing but trees and glimpses of mountains in the distance. To Nicole it was beautiful.
When the car stopped, she was a little surprised. The white building was an uneven three stories tall with boxy architecture and odd angles. It looked like it belonged on the cover of an architectural magazine, not in the middle of the woods with a backdrop of a mountain.
“Would you like help with your bags, ma’am?” The driver looked in the rearview mirror at her.
That one ma’am was enough to remind her of her age.
“No thanks, I can get them.”
She tipped the driver, then walked around to the trunk and grabbed her things. As she walked up to the clear double doors she was a little startled by the lack of decoration. Everything was stark. The name of the spa was not even on the front of the building or the doors. She wondered if she’d made a mistake.
She turned back to ask the driver to wait, but he was already headed back down the long driveway. Only then did it strike her that she’d hopped a plane to a place she knew nothing about.
She fished her cell phone out of her purse to make a call to let a friend know that she’d arrived. When she did, she found she had zero service. Her stomach twisted. She was in the middle of nowhere with no car and no phone.
What had her impulsive decision gotten her into?
Chapter 6
The glossy pages of the magazine soothed Gavin. His work consisted mainly of print advertising, though he was involved in digital and commercial as well. Still, something about the shiny smooth pages of a magazine relaxed him. He wasn’t fooled by any advertisement, though. He easily detected photoshopped scenes and airbrushed models. Some were good, some made him wonder who paid for such garbage.
When his flight was announced he stood up and grabbed his carry-on. It was time to get this over with. Although he traveled often for business, the idea of getting settled on an airplane was difficult for him. He combated his nerves with headphones and music. It drowned out the safety speech and prevented people from attempting conversation
. Luckily this flight wouldn’t be too long.
As the plane took off, Gavin wondered what the spa would be like. Never once had he taken a vacation with Amy, though she’d pleaded with him time and again. Even their honeymoon had been cut short by the demands of his work. He’d never considered how that must have hurt her. To him, work came first. There was no other option.
He already planned to spend most of his time in his room at the spa, e-mailing and calling clients. Lance said he had to take the vacation—that didn’t mean that he had to participate in it. As long as he remained at the spa for the duration, he’d be fine.
A woman dropped down into the seat beside him. He looked over at her with surprise, as everyone had already been seated. Her bright brown eyes were framed by thick dark lashes. Her red hair fell in ringlets against her shoulders. She looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties.
“I’m sorry, I just had to come over here.”
Gavin studied her for a moment, then tugged his headphones off.
“Why?”
“I just get these feelings about people. I got this great feeling about you.”
“About me?” He smiled. “I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me before.”
“Where are you headed?”
“Oh, some resort in the mountains.”
“Cielo?” Her eyes widened.
“Yes.” He gritted his teeth. He already wanted to turn his music back on.
“Oh, me too! This is my third time. How many times have you been?”
“Just this once.”
“Oh, don’t worry. If you don’t find someone on the first try you get a discount on follow-up stays.” Her smile faded a little. “It’s not always easy to find someone who can handle my boisterous energy.”
“Wait. What?” He narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean find someone?”
“The love of your life, silly—or at least someone to have fun with.” She winked at him. “The staff are really great about matching people up. They have good instincts, and the dates are so much fun.”
“I think we must be talking about two different places.” He raised an eyebrow. He really thought she might be a little crazy, and started to look around for a flight attendant.
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 1 - 4 Page 2
