Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 1 - 4

by Blake, Lillianna

  “What do you want, Dad?”

  “Not a fling.” He frowned. “That’s just not my style.”

  Thomas smiled. “I think you’ve made that clear.”

  Dane nodded and finished his drink, but his eyes wandered back toward the door. If he was so certain about what he wanted, then why did it feel like he was lying to his son and to himself?

  “Let’s go have some fun, Dad. I’ll help you forget about her.”

  Dane looked back at his son. “You’re not too busy?”

  “No way. How about you and me and some jet skis?”

  “I could go for that.” Dane stood up from the table. His heart warmed at the thought of his son’s attempting to make him feel better.

  “Oh, and there’s this drumming circle on the beach tonight. I thought we should check it out.”

  Dane followed him to the door. “A drumming circle? That doesn’t seem like something you would enjoy.”

  “I was—uh—invited.” Thomas grinned.

  “Alright, I guess that’s a fair trade.” Dane laughed as Thomas called for a taxi.

  His laughter fell short when he wondered about the possibility that Ella could still be nearby. He imagined that he’d wonder about that for the remainder of his vacation.

  He did his best to put his focus back on Thomas. Maybe the boy was right. Maybe a little fun would help break the spell he was under. Still, as he climbed into the taxi beside his son, a subtle ache carried through his chest. He imagined dancing with Ella in the moonlight, to the beat of a soulful drum.

  Chapter 26

  The drive back to the hotel seemed to take forever. Ella was mortified. She’d put herself out there, only to have Dane shut her down without so much as a smile in her direction. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t that. It made her wonder if she’d been mistaken about him. What did she really know about him?

  She sighed and rested her head against the seat. She knew he was a widow who’d raised his son alone. No matter how she wanted to spin it, he was an amazing man. She really felt that this was the case. He was not the reason they weren’t together.

  She closed her eyes and remembered his grip on her wrists. He was not the one who’d let go.

  When she opened her eyes again, the taxi had pulled up to the front of the hotel. Ella’s heart fluttered as she thought about the possibility of running into Dane.

  “Could you drop me off a little further away from the hotel, please?”

  “That’s a new one.”

  “I like to walk.”

  “Okay.” He pulled the car around the semicircle driveway until she was several feet away from the door of the hotel.

  She paid the driver, then stepped out of the taxi. There was no sign of the storm that had rushed across the beach that morning. It had been a huge turning point for her—the storm disappearing as quickly as the passion between her and Dane had.

  She’d made an attempt. She’d placed herself in front of him. He’d made it clear that he was no longer interested. Now what she needed was a way to move on.

  As she walked toward the back of the hotel, she noticed a large van parked behind it. Several men were unloading large drums from the back of the van. She smiled as she walked past them.

  One of the men noticed her and waved. “Hey, beautiful, you should come out to the drumming circle tonight.”

  Ella tilted her head to the side and brushed her hair back with her fingers. “Maybe I’ll do that.”

  She continued to walk toward her cottage with a little more spring in her step. That was the reminder that she’d needed. She was still a desirable woman. Maybe Dane was willing to pass her up, but there were plenty of men who would be very interested in spending time with her. If she couldn’t get Dane out of her head, maybe she needed to find someone new to distract her.

  She opened the door to the cottage and sat down on the couch. The very thought of being with someone other than Dane made her entire body ache with dread.

  “Great.” She shook her head and pulled out her phone. She dialed Nicole’s number. After a few rings her friend picked up.

  “Hey, Ella, how’s your vacation going? I haven’t heard from you, so I figured it was good.”

  “No. It’s not good. It’s all your fault.” Ella sprawled out on the couch and groaned.

  “What? Why?”

  “Because you put it in my head that maybe—just maybe—love was worth the risk.”

  “It is—in my experience. What’s going on? Did you meet someone?”

  “Yes, I did.” Ella turned over on her elbow and looked at the floor. “Even though we haven’t known each other long, I can’t shake him. Maybe it’s because he saved me.”

  “He saved you?”

  “I nearly floated out into oblivion, and he came out of nowhere to rescue me.”

  “That’s a pretty good start to having feelings for each other.”

  “But that’s just it, Nicole. These feelings are ridiculous. I had no idea that a man could make me feel this way. I think he’s broken me.”

  “Why do you sound so miserable about it?”

  “Because I am miserable. Because I messed it all up and now he wants nothing to do with me.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “Ugh. Why do you think?” Ella sat up on the couch. “I thought—I don’t know. I guess I thought he was Louis all over again. Maybe he is.”

  “You were scared. I get that. But has he done anything to make you think he’s like Louis?”

  “Not exactly. It’s just that one minute he’s playing boy scout, and the next it’s beyond passionate between us. It’s confusing.”

  “If it’s confusing for you, think how confusing it must be for him.”

  “I know, I know. But in the moment, I wanted to be strong. I thought being strong meant turning him away. Now, he won’t even look at me.”

  “I’m sorry, Ella. That’s rough.”

  “The worst part is that now I don’t really have any desire to be with anyone else. How am I supposed to handle this?”

  “I wish I had the answer for you. Love is a mysterious thing.”

  “Who said anything about love? We only kissed.”

  “Oops, sorry. Okay, chemistry? Connection? Whatever it is that has you in a tizzy. And if he feels that same pull for you as you do for him, then I’m sure things will work out.”

  “Right.” Ella closed her eyes. “I’m sure he feels something about me. He hates me.”

  “Oh, trust me, many love affairs have sprung out of that love-hate mentality. My theory is, if he’s that angry, it must be because he has some desire for you.”

  “I guess—maybe.” Ella winced. “How did I end up here? I never used to worry about any of these things.”

  “You couldn’t avoid it forever, Ella. When love is ready for you, it finds you.”

  “There you go again with the L word. It’s just a vacation romance. None of this would have found me at all if I’d been locked in my bathroom in a tub full of bubbles.”

  “Yes, I suppose that would be difficult.” Nicole laughed. “I’m sorry. I know things seem impossible right now. I’ve been there. Just relax, and see where it leads.”

  “Sure, I can do that. Thanks, Nicole.”

  “Keep me up-to-date.”

  Ella hung up the phone. She stared at the screen for a moment. “Or, I could just knock him right out of my head.”

  She jumped up and began sorting through her closet, looking for the most provocative dress she’d brought with her. If Dane didn’t want her, someone else would. She didn’t have much to choose from, but she had brought a tropical-style dress that would do.

  Once she had it on, she headed to the salon in the hotel again. She wasn’t going to take the chance of not looking perfect.

  She was almost to the door when Jillian walked up to her. “Wow, you look wonderful. Where are you headed?”

  “To get my make-up done.”

  “So thi
ngs worked out with Dane?”

  “No. Your idea didn’t work at all.” Ella frowned. “He wouldn’t even look at me.”

  “That just shows there are still feelings there.”

  “That’s fine, but I’m getting rid of mine.”

  “How?” Jillian narrowed her eyes. “What are you planning, Ella?”

  “I came here to get to know myself. Instead, I met a man who tried to change me. I like my life just the way it is—fun, no commitment, no need to wonder about feelings.”

  “Was it Dane that was trying to change you, or was it you trying to allow yourself to truly be you?”

  “I don’t care.” Ella pulled open the door to the salon. “It’s what I’m used to, and it’s what is going to get him out of my head.”

  “Ella, think about this.” Jillian placed a hand on her wrist. “Some things that are done in the heat of the moment can’t be taken back. Some things are too hurtful to be forgiven.”

  “I’m not interested in his forgiveness.” Ella drew her hand away. “See you later, Jillian.”

  She could see the concern in the woman’s features but she ignored it. She had a plan, and nothing was going to stop her.

  Chapter 27

  Spending time with Thomas on the water had been fun. More fun than Dane had had in a long time. He enjoyed racing with him and shouting across the roar of the jet skis. It made him feel younger than he was to have such a playful day. But as soon as they returned to the hotel room to change for the drumming circle, it all hit him hard once more. Ella.

  Maybe he should have spoken to her at the restaurant. Maybe he should have tried to connect with her. Then he wouldn’t be going to the drumming circle alone. But how could he do that? He’d told her the truth about how he felt—what he’d wanted—and she’d turned him away. Why would he risk that again?

  Maybe because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  He changed into a loose shirt and shorts for the evening and then he enjoyed watching Thomas fret over getting ready.

  “Collar up or collar down?” His son frowned.

  “I don’t think she’s going to care.”

  “Dad, this is important.”

  “Collar down.”

  Thomas smoothed down the collar of his shirt and ran his hands back through his hair for the twentieth time.

  “Maybe I should add more gel.”

  “If you add any more gel you’re going to be wearing the whole bottle. You look fine, Thomas. You like this girl, huh?”

  “Maybe.” Thomas grinned.

  “Well, be careful, son. You know we leave in a few days.”

  “Way to be a downer, Dad.” He shook his head. “Besides it’s not like distance is a real problem these days.”

  “It’s not?” Dane raised an eyebrow.

  “No. I mean, not with all the technology. We can video chat, text—even watch the same shows on our online subscriptions. I think it would be fine.”

  “But what about seeing her?”

  “We could just work it out with our schedules—grab a plane ticket here and there—or drive. It’s not a big deal.” He shrugged. “It makes things a little more—I don’t know—special, when you only get to see each other once in a while.”

  “I never thought about it like that.”

  “In the modern world, there’s no limitations when it comes to dating. Besides, if you’re being realistic, what are the chances of finding that one right person right in your neighborhood?”

  “Good point.” Dane nodded. “I guess anything can be overcome if you want it to be.”

  “I think so. But tonight is just a date. We’ll see how it goes. Are you ready?”

  “As ready as I’m going to be.”

  “Alright, let’s go before it gets too dark. I want to make sure we get a spot close to the drums.”

  A large crowd of people filled the lobby. It occurred to Dane that Ella might be at the drumming circle, but he pushed the thought out of his mind. Even if he saw her, he was determined not to speak to her. It was the only way to get over the chemistry that seemed to be between them—a clean break.

  He and Thomas blended into the crowd and walked with the people toward the beach. Several of the drums were already set up and a few drummers were trying out some beats.

  Dane looked forward to the relaxing evening. The jet skis had worn him out.

  “Oh, there’s my date. You find a spot, Dad. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  “Okay. Have fun. Don’t worry about me.” Dane smiled. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be seeing much more of Thomas that night.

  He found a spot in the sand not far from the makeshift dance floor and settled in. He looked up at the sky to see an ample amount of stars. The moon was bright. It was the perfect night for a drumming circle.

  Within a few minutes the drumming began. The moonlight played across the shoulders of the men who sat behind their drums. The repetitive rhythm of their palms hitting the drums inspired several of the people in attendance to stand up and dance.

  Dane sat back in the sand and watched as Thomas joined a few young adults and then disappeared into the crowd. He hoped that his son would have a good time. It was a perfect moment. The temperature was just right, the music was amazing, and he was surrounded by happy people. But he found himself lost in the desire to share it with Ella.

  He could imagine them dancing together in the light of the torches that surrounded the dance floor. Even after the anger he’d felt the day before, he longed for her.

  Maybe if he hadn’t kissed her, maybe if he hadn’t lost control, maybe she’d be there beside him now. He’d pushed her too hard, too fast, without even meaning to. What was he thinking? He kissed her before they’d even gone on an official first date.

  It was probably for the best. His vacation would be over soon, and they’d each return to their own individual lives. Where could the relationship go?

  He reached up and rubbed at his eyes. When he opened them again, he thought his imagination had become reality. Ella was a few feet away, illuminated by the torches and the moonlight.

  He opened his mouth to speak, then watched as she was pulled to her feet by another man. From the dress she wore to the laugh that escaped her lips, she was beautiful. His breath caught in his throat as the man drew Ella toward the other dancers.

  A heat built in Dane’s chest that threatened to boil over when the man put his hand low on her hip and pulled her body close to his. His button-down shirt swung wide open as he held her against his chest. He moved his body like a snake along hers.

  Dane’s hands curled into fists. He knew he should look away, but he couldn’t. He saw the way she moved with the man, encouraging his touch. It made Dane sick to his stomach, not because of the provocative dancing—there was plenty of that happening on the dance floor—but because it was with another man. If he ever wondered if he’d missed his chance, he could see now that he had.

  Ella hadn’t hesitated to take the opportunity to move on. Why would she? Perhaps she had just stumbled upon Dane and Thomas earlier at the restaurant. Maybe the idea that they’d had some intense romance brewing between them was only in his head.

  The drums slowed, as did the accompanying instruments. Dane watched as Ella rested her head against the man’s shoulder. He clenched his jaw.

  Yes, he was very out of touch with modern dating.

  Chapter 28

  It felt good to dance again. That seemed to be when Ella did most of her communicating with men—out on the dance floor—although it was usually in a club, not the middle of the beach under the stars.

  The man she danced with had the scent of alcohol on his breath. That was something else that was fairly familiar to her. His hands roamed her body as he moved with her. She expected to enjoy it as she usually did, but for some reason it felt different.

  When he touched her waist, she thought of Dane’s hand there. When his cheek brushed against hers, memories of Dane flashed through her mind. They had
n’t even officially been on a date, and yet dancing with this stranger felt like a betrayal.

  It’s just dancing. She closed her eyes.

  He pulled her closer so that there was no space between their bodies. She rested her head against his chest and willed herself to lose her anxiety in the beat of the drums. It wasn’t like her not to be able to enjoy herself.

  The more she tried to forget Dane, the more she longed for his presence. Had he ruined her for other men? The thought struck her as a little absurd, but she had yet to even look into the eyes of the man she was dancing with.

  When the music slowed his hands roamed even more. Her skin crawled at the sensation of his touch. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He avoided trespassing in areas that would be considered x-rated, but his body language communicated that he wanted a lot more from her.

  For an instant she considered it. What better way to get Dane out of her mind than to take this man back to her cottage and practice forgetting him?

  His lips brushed across her cheek again, then down along the curve of her neck. The subtle kisses he left along her skin aroused something within her, but it was not what she expected. She tried to push him away. Maybe he was caught up in the music, maybe he was a little drunk, but he didn’t respond to her pushes. Instead he only held on to her tighter.

  “Let me go. I don’t want to dance.” Ella squirmed in an attempt to get out of his grasp.

  “Just feel the drums, baby.” He slurred his words and ran his hands along the length of her sides.

  She grabbed his hands and shoved them off of her.

  “I’m done dancing.” She started to turn away, but he grabbed her arm hard and spun her back toward him. She winced at the power of his grip. Just as she was about to strike out at him, she heard a familiar voice.

  “Let her go. She’s done dancing with you.”

  “What do you care?” Her dance partner scowled at Dane.

  Ella looked into Dane’s eyes as he stepped closer. “I care. Trust me, you don’t want me to show you how much. Now let her go.”

  “Whatever, man. It was just a dance.” He released Ella’s arm. A moment later he blended in with the crowd.

  Ella stared at Dane as the music played around them. “You didn’t have to do that.”