Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 1 - 4

by Blake, Lillianna

  “Nice.”

  “Whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to tell you all about it. Anyway, I’m done with her. She’s all yours.”

  Ryan stared at him as he considered whether to point out that Joey didn’t have a choice in that matter. Instead, he decided to let his friend have his win. He didn’t need to pour salt in his wound.

  “Just make sure I’m invited to the wedding.”

  “I think you’re skipping a few steps there.”

  “Sure I am.” Joey shook his head. “Good luck. She’s pretty stubborn.”

  “That much we can agree on. But I think I can get through to her.”

  Joey shrugged. “To each his own.” He turned and walked out of the locker room.

  As he left the gym, Ryan wondered if he could live up to his own expectations.

  Chapter 27

  “So I’m meeting him tonight for dinner.” Angela stared across the table at her friend. “Do you think I’m crazy, Sasha?”

  “Not at all. I’m glad that you finally agreed to go out with him.”

  “I wish I felt the same way.”

  “What?” Sasha pushed the plate of french fries toward her. “You’re not happy about it?”

  “I don’t think happy is the right word.”

  “I thought you liked him?”

  “I do. No question.” She sighed. “I like him in a way that I didn’t think was even possible any more. That’s the problem.”

  “How is that a problem?”

  “He’s still a police officer.”

  “That again. I get not liking the establishment, or maybe even having a problem with the justice system, but what is the situation here? I know it can’t be over a speeding ticket.”

  Angela took a french fry and shook her head. “No, it’s not just about that. It happened when I was in college. I’d rather not talk about it.”

  “That’s the problem right there. If something happened that makes you uncomfortable with cops, you gotta be honest with him. Tell him what happened. Let him put you at ease.”

  “I don’t know if he could.”

  “You won’t know if you don’t give him a chance. Shutting people out hasn’t gotten you anywhere so far, has it?” Sasha pointed at her with a french fry. “The truth is, you’re scared.”

  “I’m not. I’m just realistic.”

  “No, you’re scared. You’re scared that he might just be the man you’ve been waiting for.”

  “I haven’t been waiting for anyone. I’ve just accepted the fact that love is not likely to happen for me. Ryan just kinda showed up out of the blue.”

  “That glum attitude has to go too. You’re in your forties here, Angela—no more time for being hesitant.”

  “I’m not on any clock. If it happens, it happens.”

  “I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t believe you. I’ve seen the way you look at couples. There’s still a big part of you that wants that.”

  “So?” Angela glanced across the table at her friend. “That doesn’t mean that I’ll get it.”

  “And it doesn’t mean that you won’t. It doesn’t always just happen. Sometimes you have to give things a little nudge—make a little effort.”

  “And then what? I feel like the moment I invest myself, the moment I think I’m ready to take that next step, he’s going to realize that he can do so much better than me.”

  “That sounds like your old way of thinking.”

  “It doesn’t just disappear. It’s so easy to believe I’ve changed and grown when I’m not being challenged by anything. But Ryan—he seems to really challenge me.” Her thoughts flickered back to the moment he’d declared that he was there for her. It was causing her pulse to quicken just thinking about it.

  “So embrace it. It’s time for it in your life. That’s why it’s happening now. I do believe that.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. Things go well for you.”

  “Not true. Not always.”

  “Richard?”

  “Okay, yes.” Sasha grinned. “Richard is amazing, but he’s amazing for me. He wouldn’t be for you. Ryan could be your Richard if you let him.”

  “Maybe.” Angela smiled a little and picked up another french fry.

  “You know I’m right. So tonight, dress up, look fantastic, and at the end of the date don’t just walk away. Look into his eyes and be honest. Tell him everything that you’re afraid to say.”

  “I’ll try.” She dipped her french fry into some ketchup and swirled it with no intention of eating it. “But I can’t make any promises.”

  As the time neared to head out for dinner, Angela doubted herself yet again. She wouldn’t break a promise, though.

  She dug out one of her favorite dresses from the back of her closet. It had been so long since she’d actually dressed up for a date. In fact, she’d lost ten more pounds since the last time she’d worn the dress.

  It slid over her body with ease. It caught her curves in just the right places. She still had weight to lose, but the transformation she saw in the mirror impressed her. That was what the last year had been about—finding herself—appreciating herself. Now, there was an opportunity for real romance. Not just dating a guy for the sake of having something to do, but dating a man she was actually interested in.

  She swept her long blonde hair back over her shoulders and adjusted the strap of her bra. Once she was settled, she added one last layer of lipstick. Was it too much? She reached for a tissue to wipe it off, but stopped herself. She could spend all night adding touch-ups. That wasn’t something she wanted to do. It was just another way of avoiding.

  Sasha was right. She needed to give her best effort and see what happened. One glance at her watch let her know that she was already running late. Not being on time was not exactly going to make a good impression.

  She arrived at the restaurant and didn’t see Ryan. Her heart dropped as she wondered if he’d left. She was about ten minutes late. Maybe he thought she’d decided not to come.

  As she started to turn back to the door, a waitress walked up to her.

  “Are you meeting someone?”

  “Yes, but I’m not sure he’s here. I might have missed him.”

  “I’m here.”

  He spoke up from just behind her. His sudden presence sent a jolt through her senses.

  She turned to face him and smiled at the sight of him.

  “Oh, hi.”

  “Oh, hi yourself. You look beautiful.” His eyes widened and she liked the way he was looking at her. “I thought you’d like to sit out on the deck, so I got us a table out there.”

  “That sounds great.” She wrapped her arm around his. She smiled and thought she sensed some relief in his expression.

  He led her out onto the deck that faced the water and drew a chair out for her to sit in.

  She smiled at him as he sat down across from her.

  “Have you eaten here before?” he asked as she took in her surroundings.

  “No. I’ve driven by it a few times but never really had a reason to stop in.”

  “It’s one of my favorite places. I thought you might like it because of the view.”

  “It’s beautiful.” She glanced over at the water. The sunset spread shades of orange and pink across the glassy surface. When she looked back at him, she lost herself in his eyes for a moment. “Thank you, Ryan—for inviting me to dinner.”

  “Thank you for accepting.” He smiled. “Is wine okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “Red or white?”

  “Surprise me.” She laughed and smoothed down her skirt. She willed herself not to be awkward, but there wasn’t much chance of that.

  Once their wine and meals had been ordered, she began to relax a little. It felt different—much easier to be sitting there with Ryan as compared to the last time they’d tried sharing a meal together.

  “I feel like we need to get something out of the way.” He cleared his thro
at.

  She braced herself. This was it. He would drop some bomb that would make her regret accepting the invitation.

  He locked eyes with her.

  Chapter 28

  Ryan’s breath caught in his throat as he watched her walk in. She was beautiful—he already knew that—but in that dress, Angela left him stunned. The fact that she’d dressed up for him made him think that she just might stay for the whole meal.

  Once they were settled at the table, he decided to move things forward. If there was a barrier between them, he wanted it gone.

  He held her gaze as he broached the topic.

  “I know that you have a problem with my profession. I’d just like to know why. Maybe if we can talk about it, it doesn’t have to be an issue.”

  Angela lowered her eyes. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

  “Angela.” Ryan grasped her hand. “I’m not asking you not to feel the way you do. I’d just like to know who you’re comparing me to.”

  “It’s not like that. Not really.”

  “I can’t know that if you’re not willing to share with me. I like you, Angela, but I don’t want to play games. I want us to be able to be honest with one another.” He searched her eyes for some clue of what she held against him.

  “I’m not sure if I can explain it.”

  “Please. Just try.”

  She glanced out at the water, then back at him. “It’s a difficult thing for me to share.”

  “I can understand that. I don’t mean to pressure you. I just think it’s the only way I stand a chance of getting a second date with you.”

  “We haven’t even had the first.” She laughed a little.

  “I want hundreds.” He held her gaze and tightened his grasp on hers. “I’m not going to hide that. There’s nothing holding me back from the way I feel about you.”

  She stared at him for some time. He braced himself for a quick departure. “You’ll probably think it’s not a big deal.”

  “I think it’s a huge deal if it matters to you. Just tell me.”

  “It was when I was in college—in my early twenties. If I’m honest with myself, it’s the reason why I didn’t finish college—why I’m just now starting my own business. I was very passionate then. I thought I could change the world.” She smiled and shook her head. “You know—everything seemed so important back then.”

  “Yes, I remember.” He smiled.

  “I got involved in this ridiculous protest. Of course it didn’t seem ridiculous to me then. We were camped out on the lawn of the campus, determined not to be moved. The police came in to disband us, and to be honest with you, to this day I’m not sure exactly what happened. Everything turned into chaos. People panicked, and I just remember hearing gunfire. When I heard it, it was the most shocking thing to me. That probably sounds silly to you, but until that day I’d only heard a gun fired on television.”

  “It doesn’t sound silly at all. Were you hurt?”

  “No. Well, not exactly. I got knocked down during all the commotion. When I got back up, I saw this police officer with his gun aimed at a student. The student was in panic and I guess the officer was too.” She looked down at the food on her plate. “I saw him die. When I tried to go to him to help him, the officer pointed his gun at me and warned me not to move.”

  “I’m sorry. That must have been terrifying.” Ryan reached across the table and took her hand. “It never should have happened like that.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. All I know is that from that day on, a police officer just became man with a gun. A college student, just like me, was dead, and I could never see a cop again without seeing that image of a gun being pointed at me. I imagine most people would have gotten over it by now, but I’m just not.” She frowned and looked up at him. “When I see a uniformed officer, that moment replays in my mind. It’s not something I dwell on, it just happens. If I could make the whole thing disappear, I would.”

  “So, when you see me in uniform, it must be very painful for you.” He gave her hand a gentle stroke. “I can see why.”

  “It’s just a shock. That’s the best way I can put it. The grief has subsided, of course. I didn’t even know the boy who was shot, but that instant fear—it’s always there.”

  “I can understand why, Angela. It was a highly emotional event and then the sheer chaos—that’s not something you simply get past. I’m sorry that I bring up such a difficult memory for you.”

  “It’s not you. I know it isn’t. It’s not every officer on the street. And trust me, the entire town argued in favor of the officer—said that he had every right to shoot the student because he’d sworn to the fact that he’d thought the kid was reaching for a gun. I just didn’t see it that way. I still don’t see it that way. All I know is that if there hadn’t have been a gun there that day, that boy would still be alive. Do you see what I mean?”

  “I do.” He paused. “Would you be open to hearing my perspective?”

  “Yes.” She sat back and picked up her wine.

  “We’ve made a lot of progress over the past twenty years when it comes to how to handle volatile situations like that. Something that I think people often overlook is that a situation like that is just as chaotic for us. We have no idea what we’re getting into until we’re already in it.”

  “So you’re saying he was right to shoot?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying.” He cleared his throat and leaned closer to her. “I personally use my gun only as a last resort when I’m in fear of my life or someone else’s and I’ve seen a weapon. That’s my policy. I’ve been disciplined for not following protocol before, because I’ve taken other routes instead of deadly force. I train in martial arts on a regular basis because I want to know that I don’t have to rely on my weapon to protect me. But I can’t say that if I didn’t have it on me, I would feel safe doing this job. Can I tell you that a police officer has never made a bad decision and taken the life of an innocent person? No, I can’t tell you that. I don’t know the whole story about what happened that day on your campus, but to be honest, I don’t need to know it. All I need to know is how it impacted you. Now I understand why you shy away from me—why that’s caused you to believe that something between us could never work.”

  She nodded and twirled the stem of her glass between her fingertips. “So you agree?”

  He held her gaze. “No. I don’t agree. I don’t think you will ever convince me.”

  Chapter 29

  “I don’t want to convince you, Ryan. I want this to work as much as you do. I just don’t want to be the reason that it doesn’t,” said Angela.

  “Then we’ll work through it together.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to be with you every step of the way. There is no doubt in my mind that we can get through this. My only question is, do you want to work through it with me?”

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  “Then it’s simple, we’ll take it one step at a time. If it frightens you to be around me then—”

  “It won’t.” She smiled as she settled her hand into his. “I’m not afraid of you. You make me feel safer than anyone ever has.”

  “Good.” He brought her hand to his lips and gave the back of it a light kiss. “Because I have no intention of ever letting you go.”

  “Hm. Very sweet.”

  “Do you believe me?” He ran his thumb along the length of her fingers.

  “I think you have good intentions.”

  “That’s not belief, that’s thought.”

  “What do you want me to say?” She gazed into his eyes.

  “I want you to tell me the truth.”

  “Okay. I’ve heard that before, and I’ll believe it when I see it.”

  He nodded. “I can respect that. I look forward to proving myself right.”

  “You seem pretty sure of yourself.”

  “Because I’m sure of you.”

  She lowered her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t make any promises.”
<
br />   “The only promise I want from you is that you’ll try.”

  “I can promise that.”

  “Great.” He sat back in his chair and gestured to their plates. “I think we’ve been so busy talking we’ve ignored this great-looking food in front of us.”

  “Good point.” She smiled and began to dig in. “So what is your family like?”

  “I don’t have much family, really. That’s why I rely on my friends to fill in the gaps. And you?”

  “My parents live a few states away. I’m an only child.”

  “So that’s why you’re okay with being alone.”

  “I guess so.” She shrugged. “I do enjoy company too.”

  “Can I take you to my favorite place?” He finished the food on his plate.

  “Sure. Where?”

  “It’s a little trail I know. Perfect place for a hike.”

  She ate the last bite of her food and nodded. “That sounds like fun. When?”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “I’m not sure I can do that. I have the shop to run tomorrow.”

  “Okay, you tell me when.”

  “Saturday?”

  He winced. “So far away.”

  “Only three days.” She grinned.

  “Alright, Saturday.” He looked her in the eye. “It’s official then?”

  “It’s a date.”

  “Good.” He smiled. “How about a walk by the water?”

  “I’d love that.”

  After the bill was settled, they walked down the back steps of the deck and out along a sandy strip that paralleled the water.

  “It’s a nice night,” Ryan said as he glanced over at her beside him.

  “Hold on just a second.” She grabbed him by the elbow, using him to steady herself as she took off her shoes. “Better.” She sighed. “It’s a shame to waste the chance to sink your toes in the sand.”

  “Very good point.” He tore off his shoes and dug his toes into the sand as well. “Thanks for the reminder.”

  “One of my favorite ways to spend my free time is with my feet in the sand.”

  “Good to know.” He looped his arm through hers. “So what about this shop? What made you want to open it?”

  “I love flowers and I love celebrations. A few months ago I became determined to turn my life around. In order to do that, I wanted to surround myself with joy. A flower shop seemed like the perfect choice.” She grinned.