by L. P. Dover
He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
Unfortunately, there wasn’t going to be enough time for talk. As soon as he set off for the others, I knew I had to do something. It was stupid, but I had no choice. Taking a deep breath, I jumped over the rope and onto the mat. Camden had his fist raised and Blake’s eyes went wide when he saw what I was about to do.
I grabbed Camden’s arm and then everything moved in slow motion. He gripped my wrist and twisted his body so fast, we both fell to the mat. The breath knocked out of me and I gasped as his weight pinned me beneath him. For a split second, I thought he was going to hit me until his eyes caught mine. I had my hand up, ready to protect myself and he backed away, face frozen in horror.
“Holy fuck, baby. I’m so sorry,” he expressed, his voice full of anguish. He reached down to touch my cheek, but then Mason grabbed him up and pushed him away. I was frozen on the mat, looking straight up at the ceiling when Gabe’s face came into view .
“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling me up and putting his hands on both sides of my face. “Thank fucking God he realized it was you. If he didn’t, he’d be a dead man right now.”
I nodded and searched the room; Camden and Mason were gone. “I’m fine. I had to stop him. Everyone else was too chicken shit to do it.”
Blake slowly got to his feet and stumbled over to me, his hands and face bloody. “What the hell were you thinking? Don’t ever do something like that again,” he growled.
“I was trying to stop him from hurting you! You deserved to get your ass beat, but not at Camden’s expense. You were the one who provoked him.”
He scoffed. “The guy’s a fucking lunatic. Surely you see that now. I don’t think it’s safe for you to be around him, much less on him.”
The blood boiled in my veins. “You don’t know him,” I spat, glaring at them both. “None of you do.” With those words, I turned on my heel and rushed out of the basement and up the steps. I had to find him.
WHAT THE FUCK had I done? I was so blinded by rage, I’d reacted without thinking. Brooklyn was never going to forgive me. I fucked up everything. Mason pushed me out of the bar but I had to get back to her, to tell her what a fool I was.
“You’re not going back in there, Jameson,” Mason shouted, blocking the door.
“Like hell I’m not. I have to talk to Brooklyn.”
He started toward me but I stood my ground. I could never fight against him and win, but he had to know I wasn’t going to leave without her. “You are going to leave and you’re going to leave now. All they need is a reason to fuck you up and you gave them one when you lashed out at B.”
“But I didn’t hit her! I would never lay a hand on her like that.” It made me sick to think of ever putting a hand on her, of others thinking I would hurt her. Was that really how people saw me?
Mason put his hands firmly on my shoulders, pushing me away from the bar. “I know you wouldn’t, but I don’t know who the traitor is. If you so much as provoke him and fight, what makes you think he wouldn’t off you and say it was self-defense? You have to control yourself. You’re not at the Dark Side anymore.”
I fisted my hands in my hair and pulled. “What the fuck am I going to do? She’s never going to talk to me after this.”
Sighing, he held out his car keys. “What you’re going to do is take my car and go back to B’s house. You need time to clear your head. I’ll get Jason to drop us off soon.” I looked over Mason’s shoulder and caught sight of Brooklyn inside the bar, frantically searching around for what I hoped was me. I wanted to go to her, but Mason blocked my path when I tried to sidestep him. “Jameson, if you don’t get out of here I’m going to kick your ass myself. Go!”
Without another word, I turned around and stormed away. I clenched the keys as hard as I could and felt the metal bite into my skin. I needed the pain. It was something to take my mind off of what I’d done.
I drove around for what felt like hours. I got lost trying to navigate the strange city, thinking I could get back to Brooklyn’s house on my own. This place wasn’t my home; it was foreign to me and even more so now that Brooklyn wasn’t with me.
Knowing I had no way to get in the house, I got out of the car and trudged down to the pond. My knuckles were split and caked with dried blood; I had to wash it off. It reminded me of the night I fought Ryley. I was never going to forget my sins. Bending down toward the water’s edge, I slipped my hands in and washed the blood away. My phone started to ring so I dried them off on my jeans and pulled it out. I was hoping it’d be Brooklyn, but it was Gabby.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Cam, are you all right? Mason called and told me to check up on you. He had me worried.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why would you be worried about me?”
She scoffed incredulously. “I’m not going over this shit again. You’re my friend, Camden. I haven’t ever let you down, have I?”
She was the only one who hadn’t. “No,” I muttered.
“So, what happened?”
I laid down on the dock and looked up at the clear night sky. There were no sounds other than the crickets and the water rippling in the pond. It wasn’t going to stay peaceful much longer. “I did something stupid.”
“And that shocks you?” she laughed. “Okay, that was wrong to say. What did you do?”
“What didn’t I do is the better question. I got pissed off and really made a fool out of myself. And now I don’t know if a certain someone is ever going to speak to me again.”
“A certain someone? Are we talking about a girl?”
“Yes. She’s one of Mason’s undercover cops.”
Gabby shrieked. “Oh, my God. Did you sleep with her? Is that why Mason’s mad?”
“That’s not the issue,” I pointed out. “Mason doesn’t care that I had sex with her. The problem is her douchebag ex and the fact that I kicked his ass tonight. I went a little too far.”
“So what now? Is she angry with you? Since when do you care what a woman thinks?” When I didn’t reply, the line went silent before she gasped. “Holy shit, Camden Jameson, are you in love with this girl?”
“I don’t know, maybe. I don’t even know what that feels like. All I know is that after tonight she’s going to hate me just like everyone else in my life does.”
“Surely you can tell her you’re sorry. Does she care about you?”
“She used to. Probably not so much after what I did to her.”
“All you did was beat up her ex, right? I’m sure he did something to deserve it?”
“He did, but when Brooklyn tried to stop the fight she came up behind me and grabbed my arm.”
Gabby swore under her breath. “You didn’t hit her, did you?”
“Fuck no. I did however grab her wrist and slam her down on the mat. When I saw it was her, I let go right away. The thought of her thinking I would hit her makes me so goddamned sick. I just wish I could tell her that.”
“You just did,” a voice spoke out behind me.
Frozen, I clenched the phone tighter in my hand. “Gabby, I have to go. She’s here.”
“Just tell her how you feel. If she really cares about you, she’ll forgive you.”
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and hung up the phone. Brooklyn’s footsteps jostled the dock. All I had to do was turn around and face her . . . but I was too ashamed to do it.
BEFORE CAMDEN EVEN made it back to my house, I beat him there. Jason dropped me off and went back to the bar so he could help Mason. I waited in the dark on the front porch and watched him as he went straight to the pond and washed his hands. I was about to say something when his phone rang. Instead, I hung back in the shadows and listened to him talk to Gabriella Reynolds. She was his friend and judging by the way they talked, they seemed really close. I hated to think what he would be like if everyone in his life turned against him.
Now that I had spoken, he knew I was there. But he wouldn’t turn around. My chest hurt when his shoulders slumped
and I could feel the tension and despair pouring off of him. I didn’t know if I should move closer or give him his space. He was ashamed of what he did, but I knew he would never hurt me. I didn’t even have to hear him say it to know. I wasn’t afraid of him.
I moved closer and his muscles tensed with each step. He never had the chance to get his shirt before he left the bar so he stood with his back to me, his battle scars perfectly visible. Slowly, I reached out and traced one of his scars, feeling his muscles relax. He blew out his breath and turned around, capturing me in his arms. His grip was tight, but he buried his face in my neck and lifted me up, breathing me in.
“I’m okay,” I whispered. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“I could have.”
“But you didn’t. I’m a lot tougher than you think.” I tried to pull back but he held me tighter. “Camden, set me down and look at me, please.” He let out a shaky breath and set me down. Reluctantly, he looked at me and I could see the shame in his eyes. “What’s it going to take, huh?”
“For what?” he murmured.
“To get you to understand you’re perfect the way you are. You don’t have to prove your worthiness to anyone. There isn’t a single person who’s better than you. Not Mason, Blake, or even your brother.”
He shook his head. “That’s not true. My brother will always be a better man than me. He turned his life around and now he’s a UFC champion, has a family, and everyone looks up to him. No one looks at me like that.”
“I look at you like that.”
Sighing, he closed his eyes and then opened them back up slowly. “Why?”
I lifted up on my toes and pressed my lips gently to his. “Because I love you, Camden Jameson. It scares me to admit it, but I do, and I want you to hear it. I don’t expect you to say it back, but once all of this is over and you go back to California, I just want you to know that you can be loved. You’re more than worthy of it.”
Pressing his forehead to mine, he closed his eyes and squeezed them tight. “How can you love me?” he asked, his voice gruff. “I do fucked up things that hurt the people closest to me. I can’t promise you that’ll change.”
“No, but you can promise me you’ll try. That’s good enough for me.”
His heated gaze landed on mine, his breaths deep and raspy. The raw energy radiating from him made me tremble in anticipation. “You just fucked up, buttercup,” he growled low. Lifting me in his arms, he carried me off the dock and laid me down on the grass, his body hard on top of mine.
“Why is that?” I whispered. He pushed his cock against me and I moaned, desperately aching to feel him inside me.
“You have awakened something I never knew existed. It rips at my soul and scares the fuck out of me, yet it also makes me feel alive. I don’t want to let it go. I don’t want to let you go.” Lowering his head, he kissed my cheek and trailed his lips down to my neck.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
He brushed his thumb across my lips and lifted his head. “I don’t know if what I feel is love. I’ve never had it before. But goddamn, it sure does feel like it. Whatever happens between us, I can’t let it end. Tell me you don’t want it to.”
I moaned as he lifted my tank top and bra and tossed them to the ground. “I want us to be together, Camden. We don’t know what’s going to happen once everything’s over, but I can promise you my love will not change . . . even when you go back home.”
Keeping his gaze on mine, he unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs. Once his pants were gone, he settled on top of me, pushing his arousal against my hip. “My home is with you,” he murmured against my lips. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.” We stared at each other, both naked on the grass. The night had cooled off, but not too much. And the sky was so black, the stars shone brighter than I’d ever seen them.
“I’ve never made love under the stars,” I whispered.
Camden smiled and lowered his lips to my breasts. “I’m happy to be your first.” He closed his mouth over my nipple and reached down to slip a finger inside me. As soon as his fingers found me wet, he growled deep in his chest. Instead of letting him take control, I grabbed his shoulders and flipped us so that his back was to the ground as I straddled him. “What is this?” he asked, smirking.
“You made love to me last time. Now it’s my turn. You can’t always be in control.” His eyes lit up and he smiled, giving me full access to his body. Mason and my brother wouldn’t be back for some time so I knew we didn’t need to rush. Besides, it was kind of exhilarating making love on the grass underneath the stars.
Sliding down his body, I kissed my way across his stomach and felt him jerk when my lips closed over the tip of his cock. He moaned as I licked and tasted the saltiness of his skin, his dick growing harder the more I sucked. My clit throbbed with the need to be touched. I couldn’t take it anymore. Crawling up his body, I straddled his waist and he settled his hands on my hips, lifting me up. Gently, he set me on his dick but I dropped down quickly and took him in fully. Growling, he bit his lip and squeezed my ass as I took him deep. I cried out in pleasure, it felt so fucking good.
I rode him hard, picking up speed when I knew he was close to finishing. Lifting his head, he pulled a nipple between his teeth and put his hands on my back so I couldn’t move away. He bit and sucked so hard, I was going to have marks on my body, but I didn’t care. My insides clenched. Screaming out my release, I milked him, his warmth filling me as I brought him to climax.
Grabbing my face, he pulled me down to his lips, kissing me softly. “Guys like me don’t deserve such happiness,” he murmured. “Tonight I have it, but tomorrow’s a different day. Promise me you’ll still be here.”
I chuckled and kissed him back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
THE NEXT MORNING, I woke up early with Camden by my side. Mason strolled in around three in the morning, and not surprisingly, the door to the spare bedroom was shut when I walked past. I wondered if he found anything out after Camden and I left.
Yawning, I padded to the kitchen and started up a pot of coffee. Camden and I didn’t get much sleep once we’d gotten inside; I needed something to wake me up. If we weren’t talking, we were making love. Blake was never like that. I never thought a hard core fighter like Camden could actually be so gentle. From what I heard, no one had ever seen that side to him.
“What are you thinking about?”
Smiling, I grabbed two coffee cups and set them on the counter. “You,” I replied.
Camden put his arms around my waist and kissed the side of my neck. “What about? How ruggedly sexy I am?”
I tilted my head to the side, giving him permission to kiss more. “Not just that,” I laughed. “I was wondering how many girls have been lucky enough to see this side of you.”
“None. I never gave a shit about anyone enough to care what they thought about me.”
“What about Gabriella? I heard you on the phone with her last night. You were open with her. Have you two ever . . .”
“No,” he cut in quickly. “Gabby and I have always been just friends. She’s closer to my brother than me. After what I did to Ashleigh, we grew apart until that whole fiasco with Paxton. She’s basically all I have now.”
“Hey,” I squealed, elbowing him in the gut.
He chuckled. “That was before. Now I have you. Is that better?”
“Much.” I poured us both a cup of coffee and he kept me company while I fixed some eggs and bacon for breakfast. After we ate, I saved a plate for Mason and we both retreated back to my room. I slipped into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face while Camden relaxed on my bed, flipping through channels. It was hard to believe just a few months ago I couldn’t stand the guy, and now I couldn’t get enough of him.
“Do you want to take a hike in the woods? It’s not that hot out right now. We can burn off the calories we ate for breakfast.” I splashed some water on my face and dried off before joining him.
He t
ilted his head to look at me and winked. “Why don’t we burn them off another way?” he suggested slyly.
Rolling my eyes, I threw my towel at him and laughed. “Not with Mason here, you horndog. Come on, it’ll be fun. Maybe when we get back he’ll be up and can tell us everything that happened last night after we left.”
He turned the TV off and threw on a T-shirt from his bag. He’d been living with me all week and I wanted to tell him he could put his things away in the dresser, but I didn’t want to jinx the time we had. The second I allowed him to make himself at home, would be the time he’d need to leave. Before heading outside, I wrote Mason a note and slid it under his door, telling him we were going for a walk in the woods and we’d be back soon.
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for him to wake up?”
I shook my head and pushed him toward the door. “Hell no. Once he wakes up, it’ll be all business. I want to enjoy a nice morning without having to worry about who wants to kill you.” I was fooling myself; I worried about that no matter what. The fear of knowing Camden could be attacked at any moment scared the shit out of me. It was worse now that I actually cared about him. After strapping on my gun, we were ready to go.
Camden followed me out the door and took my hand as we walked toward the woods. “It kills me to have to run away from this,” he confessed. “I’m not a coward.”
“Then why did you?” I asked. There had to be a reason. “When I was put on your case I was shocked when you didn’t stay in California and wait it out.”
“I didn’t want to put my niece and nephew’s lives in danger. Scar would have no problems using them to get to me. Not to mention, Mason threatened to take away my chances of getting back into the UFC.”
“So you want back in? That means you’ll have to fight your brother, won’t it?”
With a sad smile, he nodded. “It does. But that’s wishful thinking. I stopped training, and I don’t even have a coach anymore. I would be starting back at the bottom.”
