He was quickly by the side of my bed. “Nightmare?”
I nodded. “Sorry. I don’t remember when I last had one. I’m just screwed up.”
He scooted in next to me. “I can’t remember when I had one either.” I moved over in the very large bed and let Rylan lie down on the side I’d moved from. “You’re shaking.” He put a hand on the top of my head. “You’re okay. Must have been a bad one.”
“It was a lot of things. My uncle yelling at me. My brother is in jail. I have to get him out. I have to pay for that.” I choked on my words. Why was I telling him? I never talked about this. Not that I had all that many close friends. But even with the few I spoke to about my life, I didn’t speak of my brother’s situation. “And then there were all these bears that were going to kill me.”
His voice was low in the darkness, his hand on my head. “That last part is my fault. I shouldn’t have told you about the clanless.”
“I have to know what’s out there. It’s not your fault. I have to protect myself.”
Rylan scooted slightly closer to me. “No, you don’t. That’s our job. Finn, Cole, and I will always see to it that you are never harmed.”
“For the next seventy-five years, if I’m lucky. Probably less. My family tends to get killed in particularly explosive ways. But let’s say I live to be old. For the next seventy-five years you’ll keep me safe?”
He sucked in his breath. “Is that all you could live? Seventy-five years?”
“Yes. That would make me one hundred years old. That’s about all I could ask for. Truth is, that would be lucky. If I make it to my sixties, I made it a good long time.”
He shook his head. “No, that’s not acceptable. That’s not enough time.”
“How old will you become?” I knew he was almost one hundred and his brothers were older.
“Three hundred fifty, maybe four hundred. No, you can’t only have thirty-five more years. Now I’m going to have nightmares.” He drew me to him. “We have to really hurry up the you getting over your fear. Every day has to count.”
I groaned. “I can’t stay. I’ve just told you about my brother. Maybe I’m the wrong mate. Maybe it’s a human thing. Maybe hundreds and hundreds of years ago, your ancestors realized that humans gave off a false mating signal. So, they decided to get rid of humans from the planet. Maybe every bear I encounter will think I’m their mate. You’d do best to send me off and find your true mate.”
He was quiet. A pang pressed against my heart. I didn’t want to be forced to stay because they wanted me to be their mate. But I didn’t want their love of how I smelled to be because all humans tasted like chocolate cake to their nostrils.
“If any bear outside of this clan tried to take you, they would die. I wouldn’t even wait for them to be dead to tear at them. I don’t remember everything when I shift. But I would know that. We won’t let anyone take you from us.” He was quiet. “After you fell asleep, Cole reminded Finn and me that you’re not a shifter. You’re human. Maybe that’s too savage. But it’s true.”
It should have been too much. But there in the dark, all I did was tug on his shirt and let him hold me tightly. I’d wonder why tomorrow.
Not tonight.
The door flung open, and a bear walked in. I gasped. I’d only seen Rylan shifted, and he was next to me. Which one was this? “Is it one from the woods?”
“No, they’d never come here. They’d be dead by now. That’s Finn. I’m shocked he’s shifted. I can’t remember the last time he was.”
He jumped up on the other side of the bed, and I gasped, throwing myself into Rylan’s arms. The bear grunted.
“He has claws out.”
Rylan kissed my hair. “We don’t retract them. Ever. It’s okay. He’s. . .tired. I can smell it. He’s just here to sleep.”
The bear lay down on his side, and the bed dipped. No wonder they had to be so big. He grunted again and then hit me with his nose, nuzzling like Rylan had done. He closed his eyes.
Rylan laughed, a low sound. “A million people would kill to see my brother like this. He’s never this relaxed.”
“I’m going to sleep in a bed with a bear.”
Rylan’s smile was fast. This close, I could see it through the low light of the door. “Two. You’re going to sleep with two. And you’ll never be better protected in your life.”
If he said so. Still, the bed was warm, and with two of them there, it didn’t feel quite so big. Eventually, I must have fallen asleep.
I didn’t have any more dreams.
I woke up, light filling the room, and the sounds of two snoring males filling the quiet. One was a bear. The other wore a human form. And both of them snored, loudly.
I lay there listening. Yesterday hadn’t been a dream. Rylan’s head was near mine in the bed, and Finn in bear shape had his chin on the top of my pillow. I had some big problems. The first was I was really starting to like these guys. They were bear shifters, and they were some of the nicest individuals I’d ever encountered. How did I reconcile the two in my head?
They were deeply asleep. Did that have to do with what Rylan said earlier about torpor? They slept more in the winter, but not through the whole winter? Was this winter? It was kind of pleasant.
I needed to pee, so I sat up slightly to slide out of the bed. Finn’s body shifted, the change going in reverse of what I’d seen Rylan do, to become a human again. He was still in the clothes he’d been in the day before. Maybe they were absorbed and recreated in the process. Or something. His eyes flew open. “Where are you going?”
I pointed to the bathroom. “That okay?”
He rubbed his eyes. “Yes, sorry. I wake up always ready for action. Go, of course.”
I almost snapped about needing permission, but I was really tired of having to battle when there wasn’t one. Maybe some things could just be simple. I got out of bed, afraid of jarring Rylan, but he never moved.
I took care of my needs, including washing my face, and came back out to find both of them asleep, Finn in his human form this time. I stared at the bed. The spot for me was right there. I shouldn’t still be tired. It wasn’t like I was a bear. They might need to sleep a lot during the winter months, but I should be fine. It wasn’t even that cold.
I climbed back into the bed, and Finn’s eyes flew open. He wrapped an arm around me. Not pulling me to him, just holding on. “Sorry. Once every five years we all go through this torpor. We’re coming out of it now. It’s getting warm, although today, I think, will be cold. That’s how you managed to get down onto the planet unbothered. That’s how you beat Rylan and the other bears in the chase through the woods. That’s how you got in here without me knowing it. We’re all off. Once every five years. If the wolves knew, they’d invade. It’s a secret.”
If it was such a secret, they shouldn’t tell me. I was a stranger. They thought I was their mate, and probably that was what mates did, they told secrets. The truth was I’d never tell. “Sleep if you need to. I’m still surprisingly tired myself. Weird. I’m a pretty high energy person.”
“You’ve had a long couple days, and you’re hurt.” He looked at my forehead. “Pain?”
“Little bit but not like yesterday.”
Finn started to move, and it occurred to me he was going to go get that shot. I grabbed his arm. “That medicine gave me weird nightmares. I’d rather have the pain.”
He made a low noise in his throat, and then he made it again. His eyes flashed bear then returned to their human look. Finn retook his place in the bed, his arm around my waist again. “I can’t think of anything I hate more than you in pain.”
“That’s. . .sweet.” It really was. Even Calvin had been less than concerned when I got injured. We were more like a rub some dirt in it and move on kind of a family.
He smirked. “I can be sweet. Sometimes. To you, I will be. Just don’t tell anyone. I made an announcement to the bear population last night that you are our mate. That will put an end to any of your
fears.”
“What?” I squeaked, trying not to wake Rylan. He still didn’t budge. “Are you crazy? I can’t be your mate. Not really. I have to go. My brother is in prison.” I’d already told Rylan, I might as well go all in and tell Finn. “I have to pay to get him out. That’s why I was flying. That’s the only thing I’m good at. I can’t leave him there. He is the only family I have. Plus, there is the whole we are two different species problem.”
His eyes were hooded. “We have excellent hearing. When you screamed last night, Rylan got to you first because he was closest. But Cole and I listened, or at least I assume he did, from where we were. I heard you tell Rylan. I heard you come downstairs and hesitate about leaving too. That second part is an assumption. Then Rylan straight out asked you. Never mind. I’m digressing. Don’t worry about your brother. I think we’re pretty much the same species.”
“Don’t worry about my brother? Are you kidding?”
Finn put a hand on my shoulder. “For now, don’t worry.”
I expected my temper to rise. I should be shoving him away, ranting and raving. But his hand felt nice. I’d gotten used to the sound of Rylan’s snores; they were sort of rhythmic. Finn was keeping his voice low and soft. For just then, I wouldn’t worry.
I closed my eyes.
I woke up hours later. Rylan wasn’t snoring, but he was still there. Finn was gone, and I didn’t know where Cole was. I hadn’t seen him since he drugged me. My head felt pretty good and. . .
Rylan’s body was close to mine. So close, in fact, that I could feel that a certain part of his anatomy was hard. Very hard. I looked over my shoulder at him, and his eyes were only slightly open. He gave me a lazy grin.
“Hi, Jessica.”
I swallowed. “Hi, Rylan. Thanks for coming in last night.”
“Always will if you need me.” He rubbed the back of my neck, and then my shoulders. I sighed. “You smell so good.”
That pushed me out of my daze. “I don’t think that’s possible. I’m wearing the same clothes I was in when I got here, and they’re all blood stained. They have to stink by now.”
“Hard to tell because your overall scent is so intoxicating. You could probably be bathed in mud and I’d love it. You poor thing. You showered and had to put that back on. Wait here.” He got out of the bed, and I got a look at of his very erect cock pushing through a slit in his shorts before he left the room, seemingly unconcerned with it. My mouth went dry. Wow, okay. I wasn’t sure at all what to do with that. He’d made no move, applied no pressure, but he was clearly turned on.
Or maybe he just always had an erection first thing in the morning. I sighed. I loathed sex, and I wasn’t going to do it with them, particularly since I was leaving. Crazy bears in the woods or not, I was going.
Even if they had been really sweet the night before.
I got out of bed and nearly collided with Cole when I went out in the hall. He grabbed my shoulders, a smile on his face. “Hey there, sorry. You need clothes. I’ll get some today. You can come with me, if you want. I go check on the bears that live on our lands. One of them is a seamstress for all of us who live around here.” He tugged on his shirt. “She made this. She can dress you.”
Heat infused my cheeks. It was one awkward conversation after another. “Cole, I’m not staying. You can’t make me clothes. You could get me a ride off the planet or call my people. Or something. But clothes might be a waste.”
His eyes darkened, and for the first time, I saw the bear in his eyes. Was he about to shift? He blinked, and the bear vanished. “Sorry about that. I don’t like when you say you’re leaving. Leaving is a foreign concept to us, to an extent. We don’t leave. Female shifters do. They go to their new clan when they mate. But leaving, to a degree, is death. I have to keep reminding both sides of myself that you aren’t talking about death.”
“Cole. . .” I wasn’t even sure what to say.
“I’m getting you clothes.” His eyes changed again, and this time, he rushed away from me to stare downstairs from the balcony. “Someone comes.”
Finn leaned against the doorway to his office. “Yes. I was counting on it. You don’t make an announcement like I did and not anticipate a response. This will be the first of many.”
Rylan, still in his boxers, came out of the kitchen. He took a long pull of water. “And eventually, war.”
Wait. What?
Cole made a huffing sound. “It was about time anyway.”
4
Finn stalked toward the door, pointing at his brother, Rylan. “Go put on some clothes. My nose is never wrong. All screwed up from sleeping too much aside, we have company coming, and it’s going to be Mark Karhu. I don’t remember the last time anyone saw his clan. I think I was fifty when he came by, had a conversation so private with father that they rushed me out of the house. You were there, remember that Cole?”
Next to me Cole shook his head. “Nope. I don’t really have memories from those years. I was still battling the bear, and Mom was pregnant with naked over there. She didn’t have a lot of patience for me. I was probably in the woods already.”
“Well, this is big. It’s got to be about my announcement about Jessica. Karhus coming to see Durojos. It is a day for change for sure.”
I leaned against the wall. “Finn, why did you do this? I. . .You can’t open yourself up to violence over something that isn’t real.”
He lifted his head to look at me. “Don’t tell me what’s real, Jessica. You are the most real thing I’ve ever had. I’m not going to let anyone or anything come between what this is. Not even you. Start figuring out how to be fine with being my mate.”
“Are you kidding?”
He walked to the front door, calling over his shoulder. “Almost never.”
Rylan took the stairs two at a time, grumbling the whole time. “You’d think a bear could just hang out in his underwear. You’d think he’d be able to do that at home. But no, a bear has to have a brother who is in charge of the world. So people just feel free to drop by.”
I’d smile if I wasn’t so freaked out. Cole banged on the balcony. “I’m going to get my visits done. Whatever is going to happen here won’t be good news. I may not be able to attend medically to anyone for a while. Plus, we have to know which of our allies are in bad shape.” He touched my cheek. “Chin up, Jessica. We go to war every ten years. That’s how frequently some asshat decides that someone else should be in charge. The Durojos have yet to lose. We won’t be the first.”
I sighed. This was getting really complicated, and I hadn’t even decided to stay. “What is a Durojo?”
His eyebrows shot up. “That’s us. Our last name. Humans have them too. You’re Jessica White. We’re Cole, Finn, and Rylan Durojo.”
I supposed that was something a person should know about their mates. Ugh, I hated that word.
Cole ran down the stairs. “I’ll be back.” He swung around to look at me. “Sorry, making a mental picture so I can look at sizes. Unless you want to come?”
I didn’t. Actually a plan was forming in my mind. With this new arrival of some importance, Finn and Rylan were going to be busy. Cole was leaving. I could run. I’d get away from them and their crazy mate talk—and sweetness at night, and the way that they were already sort of worming their way into my heart—and hide out until I. . .
Truth was, I was sick to death of my own thinking. I was dumb, but I wasn’t stupid. They weren’t coming for me. My people would leave me here to face my fate. No one got off Planet Bear. If there was any way humans could be returned, it would have happened by now. There was nothing for me there except a job that let me die and my brother, who I was bound to fail.
I wanted to save him. That was all that I wanted.
Cole’s expression fell. “Jessica, are you okay?”
“I’ve never been okay.” I swallowed. “I am screwed up. I am going to die in an explosion. There’s no one in the universe that loves me. My brother doesn’t even care all that mu
ch. I love him, but it’s not both ways. And you should have a better mate who won’t cause you war because she can’t shift.”
My knees didn’t want to work, and I gave up trying to make them. I sank to the ground. Two seconds later, Cole was by my side. He sat next to me.
“Come here.” He pulled me into his arms, and I let him hold me there on the floor because I was weak. Because I was so tired of being in my own head. All of this was weird. I knew it. I couldn’t explain it.
I leaned my head on his shoulder, but I didn’t cry. What were the point of tears anyway?
He rubbed my back, and a fully dressed Rylan sunk down next to us. “Don’t you see what happened, Jess?”
I lifted my head to look at him. “What? What happened?”
“You finally found your way home. Of all the places in the universe, you came to this house. You found where you were supposed to be. That’s all.”
I laughed. “That’s happy ending talk. I don’t believe in them.”
From the bottom of the stairs, Finn called up. “We do.”
“Aren’t you with some important bear?”
Finn practically flew up the stairs. He ducked down toward us. “He can wait outside. He can hear us as well as I could hear you. Smelled your tears that you’re not shedding, and it’s like a gut punch. You’re my mate. Everyone else can politely wait outside anytime you need something.”
I had enough of being a drama queen. “Okay, let’s get to it. Cole, yes, I’ll come with you. I was going to run away, but I’m not. Finn, have your meeting. Rylan, what are you going to do?”
He pointed at Finn. “Guard his ass.”
Finn rolled his eyes. “From the elderly bear who was a friend of our fathers? Thanks. Jessica, before you go, Mark is rather insistent on meeting you. I can say no.”
“Sure, I’ll meet him. Why not? I’m meeting bears all over the place. But if this turns out to be what I said and all bears think they want to mate me, I’m going to be pissed.”
Planet Bear Page 4
