by Elin Wyn
The mission. Focus on the mission.
“Just stand here, and let me know if you see anything moving.” I set her down in the clearing between the trees as gently, and as quickly as I could, and finished recon.
Nothing dangerous.
Besides me.
Just past the furthest tree, a grassy bank curved down to the river, clear water running fast, splashing noisily over rocks. I eyed it suspiciously. It’d be hard to tell if there was anything lurking.
I tossed in a pebble, then another. Nothing responded.
Stuck in a branch, wiggled it around.
Nothing tried to drag me under.
Good enough.
With a high-pitched buzz an eight-winged insect, no longer than my smallest finger, dove past me. As it swooped over the water a silvery fish leaped up and grabbed it snack mid-air.
Well then. The river wasn't quite as unoccupied as I thought it was.
I tapped the tilt of the knife at my leg, thinking.
Back in the clearing, I found Valrea swaying on her feet, but her eyes were still wide, scanning for threats.
"You can stand down," and I slipped an arm around her waist as she relaxed.
"Ready to watch me fix breakfast?"
She cocked an eyebrow and grinned. "You can cook?"
"Well…”
Maybe cooking was an exaggeration. A hopeful one.
Right now, I'd settle for killing something. And being dry.
Standing waist deep in the water I waited for another of the bastard fish to pass.
I'd never relied on our enhancements. I trained in the field and in simulations to hone my reflexes to the microsecond.
So how the hell was the stupid fish managing to avoid my knife?
The mangled remains of the two I'd managed to hack lay on a broad leaf next to where Valrea sat on the grassy bank, stifling her giggles at my efforts.
I ignored her and focused again on the flashes of silver passing darting from rock to rock around me.
Almost, a second further…. There.
"We’re just tired and hungry. That's the only reason it was difficult," I growled as I stomped up the bank, water streaming from me with every step.
Valrea seemed uncertain about the next steps.
“I've never eaten anything that wasn't lab grown. Are you certain they’re safe?”
“A certain as I can be,” I answered, but I worried a little. My system would reject almost any toxin or incompatibility in the tissue of this planet's life forms.
I could be certain that her immune system wasn't so robust. But she had to eat. We’d try a little at a time and see how it went.
"People did this for thousands of years and survived to get us out to the stars. I think we’ll manage."
It would have been better to eat it raw, avoid the smoke of a fire, but I had a good suspicion that would have pushed Valrea too far. Cooking would hopefully get rid of any parasites, anyway.
Damn it. That made two times Nixie would have been useful.
After gutting them, I finally got enough of a spark with the butt of my knife to start a small flame. Valrea threaded the fish on sharpened twigs, and we charred them while I fought to keep the fire going.
“I should have Xander try this. He’s crazy enough these days to think it was fun.”
Valrea watched the guttering flames. “Who’s that?” she asked, half-asleep.
“One of my brothers. He’s going through a bit of an angry phase right now.” I turned the fish, poked one. How in the Void did you know when it was done?
She cocked her head, frowning. “One? How many brothers do you have?”
Thinking about it still stabbed me, like the ache of a missing arm that I knew would never be replaced. “There’s ten of us now. There used to be more, but…”
Crap.
Honesty time. Focused on finding shelter, finding food, it’d been easy to get lost in the moment.
“Someone here, someone at the Compound had them captured. Killed.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Tortured.”
“Oh.”
She hugged her knees to her chest and stared into the distance, while I waited for her protestations.
In the cave, she’d asked me to stop someone.
But who?
In silence, we stripped the meat from the bones of the fish. Charred spots provided the only taste to the rubbery flesh. I handed a second fish to Valrea, but she shook her head. “I don’t think I can eat more.”
Probably for the best, until we were sure it was completely safe, but if we didn’t find other supplies soon, we’d have no choice.
“Did you know them, your brothers that died?”
The last bit of fish turned to ash in my mouth. “Yes, of course. They were my friends. Assholes, sometimes. But my family.”
Valrea picked at the bones before her, never meeting my eyes. “I never knew my sisters. I’ve always been alone.”
“How is that possible?” I remembered what she’d said about the tainted food. “How do you know what was done to them?”
“I’ve left notes for myself.”
Maybe there was something wrong with the fish. Or the water. Or the wood we’d used for the fire. Because none of this was making sense. “You mean, your sister left notes for you?”
Valrea shook her head, the last of her braid coming undone. “You don’t get it. I’m my sister. I think it was the third one of us who figured it out, overheard a conversation about bringing us back. About not getting attached because we’re just clones.”
Fury and hurt warred on her face. I wanted to hold her, wanted to make this go away, but she held back, biting out the words. "The handwriting on the notes. It's my own, but describing things that never happened to me. At first, I wasn't sure, but I'd left myself markers I could check on, hidden around the Compound." She sniffed, braved a half-grin. “How else would I know to trust myself?”
At her tears, I stopped trying to be the good guy and pulled her into my lap.
“Don’t touch me. I’m not a real person.” The words were muffled against my chest, but I tightened my arms around her.
"Oh, honey. Let me tell you about me and my brothers.”
She stiffened, and I smoothed her hair back. “Not how we died, but how we were made.”
Long before I’d finished the story of Doc, and our life aboard the Daedalus before the attack, Valrea had relaxed into my side, but her eyes still burned hot.
“I want to stop it. If I escape, he’ll just make another one. It has to end.”
“We’re angry enough to get vengeance for your sisters, too,” I promised. “Come back with me when I report in. I’ll make sure he can’t make any more clones, bring you whatever proof you need.”
“I can’t,” she whispered.
I could believe that. I needed to be there, to make suffer whoever had taken up Melchior's cause. We all did.
"I'll keep asking, you know." I shrugged. "I'm stubborn like that. But for now, let's get some rest. Tonight, we'll go back, explore those other tunnels until we find a way in."
Back in the clearing, I made a nest for her between the roots of the largest tree, a mattress and pillow out of more of the broad leaves the best I could do.
“Are you going to sleep, too?”
“I think I was unconscious for long enough.” Besides, I still wasn’t sure the area was safe. Easy enough to catch a few cat naps between patrols of the shelter.
She stuck her tongue out half-heartedly and drifted off. I tucked her coat around her like a blanket, letting the side of my hand brush the smooth skin of her check.
Valrea was still keeping secrets, I was sure.
But maybe I just didn’t care.
Valrea
For the second time, I stumbled out of the hillside and followed Geir down the hill to our camp in the dawn's light.
Yesterday, after I’d slept, we’d spent time smoking more fish, making a plan. I stretched my back and groaned. The
pile of leaves was a bit better than the ground for a mattress, but today I’d need to come up with a different solution if I hoped to keep walking.
We only left the safety of the trees once night fell, the glowing rocks I’d placed our guides to the labyrinth of tunnels under the hill.
So far, we had traced the path of half the tunnels leading from the central cavern. But no luck.
Geir shook his head, face grim. "If nothing else, we’ll have to go back to the opening we found on the first day. Time is running out."
He was right, I knew it.
His brothers wouldn't wait much longer. I didn't know how they planned to attack, but from the stories he had told me as we scrambled through the tunnels, I had no doubt they'd find a way.
And I was running out of time, too. The first tingles of withdrawal had set in, taunting and teasing down my legs.
"You're falling behind, lazy legs," Geir taunted. "Thought you said you wanted to wash before breakfast.”
I did, desperately. I uncovered the banked coals from the previous day and carefully, leaf by leaf built up the fire while Geir stabbed at our next meal.
The fish hadn't made me sick, but I'd be glad when we found something else to eat.
“All right, I'll get these going while you scrub up.”
I glanced up at him then looked away. Water beaded across his chest, highlighting every muscle.
We spent so much time together in the last few days I no longer refused his helping hand as we climbed through the dark tunnels.
It didn’t bother me.
Or maybe it did, because instead of wanting to pull away when he touched me, I wanted to step closer, lean into the growing heat building in my chest when he was near.
I turned away, face hot, and made my way to the water's edge.
"No peeking!" I called over my shoulder towards the clearing and ignored his laugh.
I slipped my long coat off and spread it over a bush. Took the light and book out of the pocket and put it onto a nearby rock to recharge.
My pants were filthy, my shirt not much better. It wouldn't do any good to get clean only to put on these dirty things.
The top of a broad, flat rock stood dry in the middle of the river. Maybe I could spread my clothes there after I washed. and just wear my coat until they were done.
Thoughts of sun-warmed, clean clothing sent delicious shivers through me.
Who knew happiness could be so easily obtained?
Bit by bit I waded out into the river to get to the rock, my teeth chattering. Focus on getting clean, I reminded myself. I’ll be warm and dry in just a few…
I squeaked as a stone under my foot turned, spilling me into the icy water.
"Val!" Strong arms lifted me up and I threw my arms around Geir’s neck, desperate for his warmth.
He crushed me to him as with long strides he carried me out of the water back to the clearing next to the fire.
“What were you doing? You could have been hurt!”
I leaned back, secure he would never let me fall and watched his wild eyes as they roamed over me, as if desperate to reassure himself that I was there, in one piece.
We sat in front of the fire with me in his lap. “Just stay here and warm up, I can make a safer pool for you, take something out…”
I watched his mouth, letting the words wash over me, suddenly fascinated.
“Val, are you even listening?”
I ran one finger over his full lower lip, unable to stop myself.
He froze, the panic in his eyes banished, replaced by something else, something dark and hungry.
I rubbed the tip of my finger across his lips again, then wiggled, stretching up to put myself closer to his level.
“Val,” he croaked, “what-”
I was tired of being afraid. Tired of wondering what ifs. Tired of having to think and plan, to hide and stop myself, of always having to think about how to end it, how to live up to the expectations of my sisters.
I’d heard what couples did together, seen them sneaking off into the shadows. Impossible not to, in our small, closed-off campus. I’d known that kind of passion, that pleasure, wasn’t for me.
But now, everything was different. Everything had changed.
I pressed my lips against his, feather-light, curious as to his taste.
His chest under my hands shuddered as a wracking breath broke through him.
“What are you doing?” More a groan than a question.
Bolder now, I moved to straddle him, ignoring the sopping wet clothing between us as I knelt up to taste the skin under his jaw
I could feel his heartbeat through my lips.
“What are you doing?” he whispered again, even as his hand slid down my back to cup my ass, drawing me tighter against him.
And just like in my stories, the third time the question was asked, I was compelled to stop, to answer.
“I don't know?” I struggled for the words, to put in leaden words the spark he had ignited in me. “Every time you touch me, I want to be closer to you, and I don't know what to do about it.”
A terrible thought struck, and I leaned back to put distance between our chests. “But maybe you don't want to?”
The microsecond that passed nearly broke my heart.
“Not want to,” he groaned and then ground me against him so that I felt the hard length of him rest between my legs and I shattered, shocked at the unknown sensation.
“I want to do so many things to you.”
I stretched up, stopping with a whisper of space between our lips. "Then do them."
As if my words had lifted a spell from him, he moved, one hand snarling in my hair, cupping the back of my head, the other still at my waist, sliding down, kneading my ass.
Soft kisses turned demanding and I opened to his questing tongue, groaning as he bent me back.
“Void take it,” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “If these weren't your only clothes…” he growled but carefully slid his hand up under the hem of my shirt, the cool air making my wet skin prickle.
He tilted me further, his hand engulfing my breast, kneading and pulling at the tender flesh while he nipped down my throat, teasing me with his teeth.
I squirmed, panting in his arms.
And then he stopped, brought his mouth to my ear, licked the shell of it. “What did you mean when you said you didn't know?”
I blinked, mind hazy, dizzy from the flood of sensations. “I don't know? I've never done this before. At least I don't think so. If I did before it wasn't in the notes and…”
Gently he moved his hand from my breast and slid me to sit next to him, curled up with his arm around my shoulders still.
“All right.” He closed his golden eyes, controlled his breathing, and went on. “For now, let's not worry about what any of your clone sisters have done. Just you.”
I nodded. It would be easier.
“Are you saying, that you've never done,” he paused “what exactly before?
“Anything, I don't think. I haven't kissed anyone and certainly nothing further.”
His arm tightened around my shoulder.
“Is that wrong?”
“Of course not.” He kissed me, but this time softly, gently. “It just means we’re going to take it slow. There's no reason to rush.”
Bitterness washed through my mouth. Of course, there was a reason. But I couldn't tell him.
Not now. And if I could help it, not ever.
Two more tunnels explored and crossed off. One stopped in a small dead-end cavern, the other sloped down so steeply I felt sure it could only lead back to the sea.
“We’ll check it out if nothing else works out,” I decided.
Gier had been silent, methodical as we searched throughout the night.
But my thoughts scattered, bounced between those moments of bliss in the clearing, and the Companion’s room. We had to get inside. This had to end.
“Damn it.”
I looked up. Anothe
r rockslide blocked our path. But instead of turning away, Geir leaned closer to the rubble.
I frowned, then I caught it, the faintest whiff.
His nose wrinkled as he worked it out. “Is that...”
I nodded. “Machine oil.”
Geir scaled the pile of jagged rocks until he could prod the ones at the top. “There's no way through,” he called down.
My stomach clenched. “Then we’ll have to make one.”
I started climbing. I couldn't reach the exact places he had used, but I'd watched him, seeing how he tested each handhold. It couldn’t be that different than climbing the cliff, could it?
“Val, get back down,” he hissed. “It’s not safe here.”
I ignored him, kept climbing until my head brushed the rocky ceiling, then tapped one of the rocks wedged at the top. The smell of machine oil was stronger now. This had to be the way through.
“Can't we dig through here?”
He shook his head slowly. “We have no way of knowing how it’s piled on the other side. If we took the wrong rocks out, it could all come down in a rush and crush us.”
I could tell what he wasn’t saying. Faster, stronger, he’d be able to get out of the way just fine. But I wouldn’t.
We were too close for my annoyance at the truth to stop us now. I’d grumble later. “What if I stayed back? Maybe even past where the tunnel branched off? Would that be safe enough for you to dig through?”
Geir examined the pile for long moments, the rocks all that stood between us and the compound. Between him and his mission. He grunted acceptance.
“Call out when you’re safe and I'll get started.”
Once I was situated, rocks flew past the alcove where I waited. I shook my head. Now that he was back on track, nothing would stop him from getting the information he needed.
He had his tasks, I had mine
Reluctantly, I pushed the lingering memories of his kisses from my mind. I couldn't afford the distraction.
Sooner than I expected Geir called for me, his voice quiet down the tunnel. “Let's go.”
He reached down to help me, but I clenched my teeth, moved past him and through the small opening he'd made.
Once on the other side of the rocks, I could see what had happened.
