by Sarah Bailey
Chapter Thirty Two
Whose stupid idea was it to go to dinner with a girl who outright hated me because I broke her heart?
Oh yeah, mine.
I’d questioned what I was thinking multiple times over the past few days since I’d seen Aurora. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. We had unfinished business. The fact she was even willing to allow me to see her was a fucking miracle in itself. I was in no doubt it had everything to do with her wanting to make my life hell in response to my actions three years ago.
When I came back to the UK, I had planned on finding her to apologise for my behaviour. It was a pure coincidence I’d seen her at the charity event. And it hadn’t been my intention to get her back since I didn’t deserve Aurora Knox. But seeing her again had made me realise what I’d lost. What I’d thrown away.
And now?
I wanted her back.
I wanted her mine.
I wanted her forever.
I got out of the car after parking outside her parent’s house and wondered what madness I would encounter. My hands buttoned and smoothed down my suit jacket as I walked around the car and up the steps to the house. I’d already checked my hair in the mirror before I got out. I’d put a lot of effort into my appearance, including picking up a new tailor-made suit from Bensons. First impressions mattered.
Reaching up, I rang the doorbell and waited, wondering who the fuck would open the door. I ignored my sweaty palms, hating how nervous this whole situation made me. I had no interest in pissing off any of her parents, especially not her biological father. If I was ever going to make it up to Aurora, I would have to make sure he didn’t want to kill me for breaking his daughter’s heart. Or maybe he was angry about me having even touched her in the first place.
Both. Probably both.
The door opened, revealing a rather smug-looking Duke. I had no idea what Aurora’s brother’s real opinion of me was, but it seemed he liked to give his sister shit.
“So, you actually turned up?”
“I said I would.”
“Did you want to come in for a minute and I’ll get her majesty for you?”
I swallowed.
“Are your parents around?”
Duke grinned. I knew the answer before the word left his mouth.
“Yes.”
“You know, I think I’d prefer to stay out here.”
He laughed, shaking his head.
“Don’t blame you, man. Hold on, she should be ready, but you never know with Rora.”
He walked away, leaving the door open. I fidgeted. It might be cowardly not to take him up on his offer to come inside, but I wasn’t taking any chances. If I could avoid a confrontation with Aurora’s father, I would. At least for now. I needed to sort my shit out with her first.
Aurora came to the door a minute later. My jaw almost dropped to the floor at her outfit. The black dress she wore was ridiculously short, and the amount of cleavage she had on show should be downright fucking illegal. Her hair was up in a ballerina bun with wisps falling around her face. It had always been my favourite hairstyle of hers.
“Hello, Logan.”
“Evening. You ready to go?”
Somehow, I kept my voice level and even without a hint of my inner fucking turmoil at seeing her like that.
“Yes, let me get my coat.”
I waited whilst she got her coat out of the cupboard and slid it on. I noted the sky-high black peep-toe heels she had on her feet. Whilst I could never call myself fashion-forward, when you’re raised with a family who works in the industry, you couldn’t help but notice these things. Clothes and shoes were our lifeblood.
Aurora stepped out, closing the door behind her and giving me the once over.
“Is this for my benefit?”
“What?”
She smiled in this fucking deviant way, which made my pulse spike.
“I don’t think I ever told you how much I appreciate a man in a suit. I’m wondering how you knew.”
I put my hand out to her, which she took and led her down the steps.
“I didn’t, but if it’s your thing, I’ll keep it in mind for the future.”
Her eyebrow curved up.
“I don’t remember telling you we had a future. I’m here for answers, not to indulge you.”
I let go of her hand and opened the passenger car door for her. Aurora stepped by me, her eyes narrowing.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m fully aware you intend to punish me for everything I did.”
She stepped into the car and I shut the door, not waiting for her response. It was obvious from her outfit she wanted to drive me crazy. And it was working… to an extent. I had downright dirty thoughts involving her dress and my floor. Those had to remain in my head. I wouldn’t sleep with her. Well, not yet, anyway. No doubt I wanted to. Who wouldn’t? She was beautiful, wild and fucking sinful.
And I don’t want anyone else having her.
Didn’t care if it made me sound possessive and jealous. Letting her go again wasn’t an option.
I took a deep breath before walking around the car and getting in myself. Tonight I was definitely in for it. Aurora didn’t speak as I started the car and pulled away from the curb. The tension between us was palpable. There were a lot of things we needed to say to each other, but I wouldn’t do it in the car.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked after we’d been driving for five minutes.
“Somewhere not far from here.”
She eyed me for a moment before staring out the window. Not like I wanted anyone following us or anything like that. I’d decided to take her somewhere close to where she lived. Would be less chance of the media catching wind of our whereabouts. They’d been trying to find out where I’d been but my parents refused to release a statement.
It wasn’t exactly awkward between Aurora and me but there was none of the ease we’d established three years ago before I destroyed everything we had. Well, I say ease, more like a truce. We were both more interested in getting naked with each other than fighting all the time. Not to mention the things we shared in common growing up with rich parents and expectations.
I pulled up in a carpark and paid at the machine. Aurora had got out of the car and was waiting for me. She didn’t take my offered arm, merely following me out onto the street and up the road until we reached the restaurant. We were greeted by the staff and led over to a table after they’d taken our coats.
Aurora let me pull out the chair and help her sit. I took a seat across from her and looked over the menu. Neither of us was inclined to start talking straight away, content to order first. When the waiter left, Aurora stared at me with those beautiful golden-flecked brown eyes of hers.
“You said we had things to talk about.”
I sat back, watching her narrow her eyes the longer I went without responding.
“We do,” I said finally.
“Then talk, Logan.”
I put my hand out.
“Why did you agree to come to dinner? What do you want out of this?”
She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts together. I kept my eyes on her face.
“What do I want? A fucking explanation for what the hell you want with me would be nice, considering you decided I was no longer worthy of your attention three years ago after you got what you wanted.”
I inwardly flinched. Nothing about what happened was remotely what I actually wanted. Things had got fucked up and I bowed to the pressure of my family expectations. It wouldn’t be the same this time. I was determined things would be different.
“What I want?”
“Yes. What do you want?”
My lip curved up at the side.
“Well, I want you.”
Her expression went from irritated to incredulous within seconds. Aurora and I had never minced words. She was blunt and I gave as good as I got.
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
She let out a huff.
“I don’t know, Logan, why don’t we start with how you lied to me? Or maybe I should say fooled me into thinking you weren’t a piece of shit who didn’t care one fucking iota about how your actions would hurt me? I should have known better than to ever believe that act you put on for me.”
This time I did flinch. I knew I would have to tell her the truth about what happened, but I found it harder to admit than I thought. Telling her my family disapproved of my association with her would only hurt her more. I was done ripping Aurora Knox’s heart out. All I wanted to do was repair what I’d broken.
“What if it wasn’t an act?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Oh yeah? You’re going to tell me you had feelings for me, huh? You can save it. As if I’m ever going to trust another word coming out of your mouth.”
I clenched my jaw shut, knowing I deserved everything she was hurling at me but hating it at the same time. My actions were fucked up. I’d already accepted my mistakes and paid for them. She didn’t know that. She had no fucking idea how much I’d punished myself for breaking her heart. And I wasn’t sure she even cared.
“Got nothing more to say? Why am I not surprised?”
I rested my hand on the table, trying to formulate a response that wouldn’t piss her off further.
“Why did you agree to come if you’re not interested in listening to what I have to say?”
“I wanted to watch you squirm. I told you I’d make your life hell if you ever walked back into mine. Not sure what else you were expecting.”
The waiter came over and deposited our drinks. I thanked him, keeping my gaze on Aurora. She smiled sweetly at the waiter. When he left, she scowled at me again before picking up her cocktail and sipping at it.
“You don’t want to know where I’ve been then?”
“No, I don’t really care.”
I’d planned on telling her this evening, but her attitude made me falter.
“I suppose you won’t care if I tell you I’m sorry then.”
She placed her glass on the table but not before I saw her hand shaking as if she hadn’t expected the words to come out of my mouth.
“You’re what?”
“I’m sorry.”
Aurora swallowed, staring at me with wide eyes. An apology was only the start. I’d wanted to give her one for a long time.
“You’re sorry… for what exactly?”
“Everything. For treating you the way I did. For hurting you. You didn’t deserve it. I was a dick to you and I regret it.”
She blinked before her gaze fell on the table. She slid her hands under it. Probably didn’t want me to see how my words had stripped her of her composure.
“I didn’t think you’d ever apologise to me.”
“Well, maybe I’ve changed.”
“Clearly.” She looked out the window next to us. “I’m not going to forgive you just because you said sorry.”
“I never expected you to.”
“Good. You’re not forgiven. At all. But I accept your apology even if it didn’t come with an explanation.”
I sipped my non-alcoholic beer. I was driving so didn’t want to drink.
“Didn’t think you cared what my explanation is.”
She shrugged, looking at me again. This time, her expression was neutral as if she’d shut down all of her emotions.
“I don’t.”
“Well then, until you start caring, I’ll keep it to myself.”
Not sure she liked my response. Her eyes narrowed to slits and I could see the irritation in them. If she wanted to make my life harder, then so be it. I could be patient and show her I was serious about wanting her. I would prove to Aurora I wouldn’t let her down this time.
A moment later, her features cleared and a devious smile appeared on her lips instead. She leant her elbows on the table, leaning forward which had me hard pressed not to stare at her breasts.
“You sure about that? You say you want me, don’t you want to show me how much?” She ran her finger around the rim of her glass in a manner that could only be described as seductive. “Maybe I’d be willing to let you.”
I raised an eyebrow, unsure of where the hell this was going.
“What are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious? You might have come here to apologise to me, but it’s not why I did.”
“You already told me you want to make my life miserable. Is that not the reason?”
She ran her tongue over her full bottom lip. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was trying to seduce me. It would be very much at odds with her wanting to punish me for the way I’d treated her. Or maybe this was a part of it. Work me up so she could turn me down?
I wasn’t going to play her game no matter how much I wanted to tear her ridiculously short dress from her body and see if she was still as sinful as she’d been three years ago.
“Perhaps I have other plans… don’t you want to find out what they are?”
At this point, I wasn’t sure what the fuck she was doing nor what the right answer to her question should be.
“If you’re planning on trying to get me to beg you to let me fuck you, then you’re going to be very disappointed. I’m not going to sleep with you, Rora.”
Not yet. Not until she realises I’m serious about wanting her to be mine.
Chapter Thirty Three
Logan’s words took the wind out of my sails. Sure, I’d dressed provocatively on purpose, but I hadn’t planned on trying to get him to beg me or anything. I wanted to make him uncomfortable. When he’d seen me in this dress, his eyes had gone wide and I swear he swallowed hard. Since then, he’d done his level best not to stare at me inappropriately. I had to give him credit there.
I hadn’t expected him to apologise to me. Logan never apologised for anything. Maybe he had changed. Maybe things were different. His saying sorry put me on the back foot and I was trying to recover from it. He was on to me, which wasn’t surprising given how shrewd the man was.
“I don’t need you to beg me. No matter what you say, it’s clear to me you want to.”
His eyebrow curled upwards.
“You want me to deny it? I won’t. But wanting and acting on it are two very different things, which you already know.”
I hated the reminder of what we’d been to each other before. How us wanting to be closer had only torn us apart when we attempted to act upon it.
He leant forward, his ice-blue eyes full of emotions I didn’t want to see.
“I’m okay with you hating me, Rora. I deserve it. You can punish me all you want, but I’m not going anywhere. I’ll take anything you throw at me. Anything at all. It’s preferable to being without you.”
How on earth could I trust a word he said? It didn’t matter if his voice and expression rang with his sincerity, he’d still ruined me. He’d still broken my fucking heart.
You don’t forgive someone who lied to you. Who said they’d used you as an act of revenge for fucking with their life. You didn’t forgive the man who made you fall in love with him only to stamp all over your heart.
I wanted to rub my chest as the pain of the experience threatened to overwhelm me. No matter how many men I dated, no one had ever made a dent in the walled fortress around my heart. They say time heals all wounds. Logan ripped open my stitches and made me bleed out all over again. He was my weakness. The one person who had the ability to see past the front I put up for other people. I’d allowed him to see my vulnerabilities and it forged a bond that wasn’t easily destroyed. Maybe I hadn’t tried hard enough. Or maybe I didn’t truly want to.
Now, here he was, forcing me to confront the unwanted knowledge that my feelings remained. They were wild and free in my chest, shredding my ability to stay calm and collected.
I didn’t want
him to want me to hurt him for what he’d done. I didn’t want him to take it on the chin or be willing to put up with it. This wasn’t a part of my plan. This was the complete opposite.
“You’d let me make your life hell so you can have me in it?”
“Yes.”
“You’re crazy.”
He shrugged and sipped his beer as he leant back in his chair again.
“Maybe I am. You’d be surprised by the lengths a man will go to when the incentive is right.”
“Incentive? What fucking incentive?”
“You. You’re my incentive, Rora. You always will be.”
I did not know what to make of this version of Logan in front of me. He was different. The man wasn’t trying to argue with me. He accepted he was in the wrong and apologised for it. But he was withholding the whys as I told him I didn’t want to know. It wasn’t true. I was desperate for an explanation for his behaviour, but I wasn’t going to fucking well give him the satisfaction of knowing how I felt.
“Spare me the bullshit, Logan. If you hadn’t seen me at that event, you wouldn’t have tried to find me.”
He smiled, which unnerved me.
“Seeing you there was a lucky coincidence, but you’re wrong. I would have found a way to see you… eventually.”
I sat back.
“You telling me it was your plan to find me all along?”
“It wouldn’t have been hard, Rora. Your best friend is in a relationship with my cousin. Besides, I know where you live and work.”
I wanted to ask him why now. I wanted an explanation for his reappearance. My fucked up stubborn pride wouldn’t let me find the answers to those questions. He’d hurt me too much. And him being sorry only confused me. This whole fucking thing wasn’t logical. None of it made sense.
I was spared the need to respond as the waiter arrived with our food. Logan watched me as I tucked in. What the fuck could I even say to him telling me he’d have found me regardless? That this confrontation between us would have been inevitable. It made it feel like I had no choice in the matter. Except I’d agreed to go to dinner with him. There was no one to blame other than me. I’d put myself in this position.
