I never found out what his reaction was. Kestral was out of the bedroll the following morning before I woke. A cold breakfast of cheese and fruit had been left beside the bedroll but Kestral’s bags were gone. I ate, rolled up the bedroll and stepped outside the grain silo. Shan was picketed and waiting, but I didn’t see Kestral nearby. After tying the bedroll to the saddle bags, I stretched, testing my side. Definitely still some broken bones but moving was a little easier than it had been. I eyed Shan warily.
“If I untie you, are you going to take off or let me mount?”
Shan swished his tail back and forth, the picture of equine innocence.
“I’m not buying it, murder-horse.” I stepped back and looked around for Kestral again. The field surrounding the grain silo was open and empty. If he was near I should have seen him. “Okay, horse of death, here’s the deal. If you let me ride you, I’ll give you an apple when we find Kestral. Got it?”
Shan snorted and shook his head. I took that to mean he accepted the deal. After releasing him from the ground tie, I mounted clumsily. My side was still in pain, but I had enough range of movement to pull myself up. Shan started trotting before I was fully settled, so I grabbed a handful of his mane and held on, hoping he knew where he was going.
I hadn’t noticed that a small stream cut across the farm, a tiny furrow in an otherwise flat field. Shan slowed as he approached the edge of the stream and whickered softly. Kestral looked up from his fishing line, wet hair shading his eyes.
“Are you two friends now?” Kestral asked as I carefully climbed down from Shan’s saddle.
“I think friends is too strong a word.” I rooted through Kestral’s food satchel and found an apple for the monster horse. “More like we’ve come to an understanding.”
Kestral nodded. “You look like you’re moving better.”
“Still hurts.” I rubbed my side, grimacing. “Catch anything good? I love fish.”
“Nothing.” Kestral wound in his line and wrapped it in a small leather pouch. “I came down to wash and wait for you to wake up. I was going to hunt, but I’m still tired.” A glare accompanied that last comment.
“You said to take whatever I needed to heal.” I rolled my good shoulder in a shrug. “Mind if I wash up?”
“Go ahead.” Kestral stood, stretched, and walked up the small embankment to Shan. I kept an eye on him, making sure his back was turned before stripping down. It’s not that I’m shy or anything, I just didn’t want him seeing the marks on my hip. I waded into the waist-deep water, leaving my clothes and weapons on the shore. Above me, Kestral combed out Shan’s tail with his fingers.
“So where are we going now?” I called, checking to make sure the water obscured everything below my waist. “Any sign of Velyn or Eagan?”
“No sign of them,” Kestral called, his back still to me. “I think we should follow Laki’s advice and go to Kila.”
“I thought about that, but . . .” I hesitated, dunking my head underwater to think before responding. “Kila’s really strong. What if she decides to kill me for my magic?”
Kestral shrugged. “If Kila wanted to kill her siblings for magic, you would all be dead by now. Laki said he met with her once, but he walked away unscathed.”
“Do we know that for sure?” I asked, wringing water from my hair. Dust it, I would need his help to tie it back again. “Maybe Laki escaped. Or maybe she didn’t know about the whole power-stealing thing.”
“I doubt Laki could have gotten away from her if she wanted him dead. Also, the one report that always comes back from hunters who survive Kila is that she doesn’t use magic. You might be safe if we use you as a lure so that Kila can kill whichever brother comes for you.”
I stepped onto the bank of the stream, swiping water from my limbs with a corner of my cloak. Something drew my eyes to the west and a sigh escaped my lips.
“What?” Kestral glanced over his shoulder. I lifted the cloak as a shield until he looked away again.
“Every time I’ve met one of my siblings, they’ve either been murdered or turned into a murderer. It’s like I’m heralding their deaths.”
“You don’t have to worry about that with Kila.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“I doubt Kila would die as easily as Cera or Laki. And we already know she’s a killer.”
“Somehow that’s less than comforting.” After tugging on my pants and boots, I climbed the stream bank and held out the roll of bandages to Kestral. Without a word, he rebound my ribs. “Can you pull my hair back, too? It still hurts to raise my arm.”
Kestral’s mouth twisted as if he had swallowed something sour, but he nodded.
I turned around and gentle fingers gathered my hair back before tying it into a tail. I pulled my shirt on, checked my weapons, then turned back to face him.
“I can walk today, if you want.”
“No. You’ll heal quicker if you ride. Mount up.”
I considered arguing even though I knew he was right. He had to be tired, considering how much I had drawn from him last night, but he wouldn’t appreciate any sympathy from me. I climbed up carefully and this time Shan held still until I was firmly seated. Kestral led us back to the road, heading west.
“How do you know where Kila is?” I asked.
“Everyone knows where Kila is.” I could hear the smirk in his voice. “She’s on the bloodiest battlefield in the kingdom.”
“That bodes well for me,” I muttered, leaning back in the saddle. I looked around for signs of Velyn’s storm or Eagan’s fire but saw nothing obvious. Strangely, I didn’t think either one of them was dead. I wasn’t certain of it, though. Without Cera, I had no psychic link to the rest of my siblings, but somehow, I thought I would know if one of them had died. Laki had mentioned an awakened link between himself and Kila after Cera’s death, which seemed to mean that although Velyn had taken the majority of her power, some had dispersed to the rest of us. Now that Laki was dead, I thought I felt an increased sentience from the plant life around me. It was a little like my ability to communicate with animals, but different. As if I could hear the plants but they were speaking another language. As Kestral was content to walk in silence, I spent the day trying to listen to the plants along the side of the road, seeking to understand. When that grew boring, I dug a coin out of my pocket and walked it over my knuckles, switching hands several times throughout the day. Kestral glanced back at the coin once but said nothing, which was lucky as it was one of the coins I had stolen from his former comrades.
After nightfall, Kestral found shelter under a natural rock formation just off the road. A tall, gray rock jutted up high enough to hide the sky and beneath it lay thick, pillowy moss which was perfect for the bedroll. I tried to start a conversation over dinner, but Kestral just ignored me. The way he kept glancing at the bedroll, I figured he was still feeling awkward about sleeping together. So was I, but for a completely different reason.
In complete honesty, I found Kestral attractive. Highly attractive. If I had met him in a bar, I would have convinced him to buy me a drink and then let him take me upstairs. I mean, with those eyes and those broad shoulders, he was exactly my type. The whole “I’ll kill you” thing had put me off him for a while, but since we had grown closer, the attraction was getting harder to fight. For stars’ sake, we were sleeping together! How could I not be attracted to him?
And then there were those comments from Kestral’s former soldiers, about “pretty boys” and “tailfeathers.” Even if Kestral didn’t feel the same as I did, sex was sex, right? Maybe I could loosen him up a little, get rid of some of the awkward feelings between us. And if he felt differently about killing me afterwards, so much the better.
“Hey Kestral,” I started, carefully stretching my left arm luxuriously. “How about a little of that Goldwater? Just a taste?”
He glared at me, brows furrowed.
“It’ll help me sleep through the pain.” I rubbed my right side, trying to lo
ok innocent. “It’ll probably help you sleep, too.”
He considered my argument, then shook his head. He cast another shifty glance at the bedroll, then stared into the fire.
“I’ll trade a question for a sip,” I offered. “I won’t ask you one in return. Just not about where I grew up.”
Kestral sighed. “Are you going to keep pestering me until I give in?”
I shrugged my good shoulder. “Yeah, that’s about the size of it.”
He rummaged through his satchel until he found the waterskin. He took a short pull and corked it, pulling it away from me as I reached for it. “Who taught you to throw knives?”
Of course, he would ask a question I’d avoided earlier. I sighed, taking a moment to get my story in order without lying or revealing too much. “I forget her name, but she was a caravan guard. I used to watch her spar with the other guards and I asked her to teach me, but she laughed at me. Said I was too skinny to hold a sword, never mind use it. Instead, she taught me to throw knives.”
“How old were you?”
Ugh, had I told him he could ask follow-up questions? “I don’t know. Twelve, maybe. Something close to that, anyway.”
“How long did she train you?”
I bit my lip. Kestral locked eyes with me as he took another short pull from the waterskin. I exhaled in exasperation. “Less than a year. Nine months, probably.”
“How long were the two of you traveling in the same caravan?”
“No, that’s all you get.” I leaned forward and pulled the waterskin from his hands. He could have resisted, but he let it slide through his hands. I took a long draught, making up for the extra answers he’d pulled from me. The liquor was smooth and heady, burning a trail of fire down my throat. I felt it light a comfortable fire in my chest. After a moment, Kestral tugged the waterskin back from me.
“Did she train you in anything besides knife throwing?” Kestral asked. He shook the waterskin, indicating I could have another sip. This plan was completely backfiring on me, but stars did I want more of that whiskey.
“Some dagger grips and stances. That’s it.” I reached for the waterskin, brushing Kestral’s hand with mine as I took it. I took a shorter sip this time and passed it back. I was hoping Kestral would drink more, as he needed more loosening up than I did, but he secured the cork and put it away. While he was turned away, I unfastened my cloak and skinned out of my shirt, unwrapping the bandages around my chest. Kestral turned back and blinked, almost appearing surprised.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Getting ready for bed.” I wound the bandage around my hand, so it would be easy to put back on in the morning. “It’s hard for me to breathe with this on. And I think it’s cutting off some blood flow.”
Kestral frowned but said nothing. He watched as I stood and sauntered over to the bedroll, preparing to lie down. After putting a boot through the fire to reduce it down, he followed. I curled up on my left side, pillowing my head with my arm. Cloth rustled as Kestral stripped out of his travel leathers before he lay down with his back to mine.
“You sleep better on your back,” I said, facing away. I could feel him glaring at me, though. “I’m pointing it out because you had trouble sleeping last night and my wellspring is completely dry right now. I can’t start healing until you fall asleep.”
Kestral grunted, then shifted carefully so he didn’t jostle my ribs. He tucked the arm closest to me under his head, which was perfect. I shimmied back towards him, tucking myself under that arm. Under the pretext of moving my hair out from under me, I lifted my head and settled it on his shoulder. Kestral tensed but said nothing. I let a moment pass in silence before rolling back against him, turning my head so I could smell the whiskey on his breath. With my right hand, I reached for the laces on the front of his shirt.
Kestral’s hand caught mine. “What are you doing?”
“Relieving some of the tension between us.” I gave him a lazy smile. “You’ll sleep better for it. I promise.”
“No.” Kestral pushed my hand back and tried to pull away. I rolled with him, pressing against him from hip to shoulder and wrapping an ankle around his.
“Why not? It won’t change anything between us.” I gripped the top blanket and pulled it taut, smirking as I glanced down the plane it made against our bodies. “And that doesn’t look like an objection you’re raising.”
I gasped as Kestral shoved me away roughly, pushing against my injured ribs. I saw stars and blinked back tears of pain as Kestral kicked free of the bedroll and stood. By the time I could see clearly again, Kestral had pulled his boots and leathers back on and was walking away from the campsite.
“Where are you going?” I asked, my voice tight from pain.
“Hunting.” Kestral scooped up his bow and strung it in the faint firelight. “I’ll be back after you fall asleep.”
“But I—”
Kestral turned and walked away quickly, disappearing into the trees.
I wrapped my arm around my side, holding back a whimper. I needed to be awake to be able to fill my well, Kestral knew that. Stars, but I must have really dusted him up to get him to react like that. He couldn’t really hunt in the dark anyway; most prey animals were in their lairs by now. My ribs ached, keeping me up for long hours into the night. I wondered what would happen if Kestral returned before I fell asleep, then decided I didn’t want to find out. I tossed and rolled, trying to find a path to sleep.
This would be when Cera would reach out to me, I realized with a sigh. I used to hear her voice right before I succumbed to sleep, urging me to join up with her and our siblings. I felt a pang in my chest different from the ache in my ribs. It was still strange to think I’d never hear her voice again.
I drifted off thinking of Cera, trying to remember the sound of her voice in my dreams. By the time the horizon turned a hazy gray, I awoke to find Kestral’s back to me. Greedily, I soaked up whatever I could, willing my ribs to heal faster. The gold magic gathered in my side, easing the pain and knitting my bones back together. I lay awake, soaking it in and watching the stars slowly wink out. The sky brightened slowly, turning pink, then orange. Taking great care not to wake Kestral, I wriggled out of the bedroll and gathered up my clothes. Shan eyed me from his ground tie as I slunk off to dress.
Kestral will be mad when he wakes up, I thought, struggling to tie my own hair. My ribs were feeling a lot better. They still twinged when I turned, but at least I could turn now. Should I make breakfast as an apology? Knowing him, he would probably wake up before I could get the fire lit.
Why did I have to apologize anyway? He was the one who overreacted and used my injury against me. I had only been trying to be nice to him. And, being completely honest, the worst part was the rejection. I didn’t hear the word “no” very often and I had it on good authority that I was attractive. It stung that Kestral didn’t seem to think so. Okay, so I was a little vain. Or maybe a lot. I was a cat, I was allowed to be vain.
I pondered over how to put the situation behind us, and my mind kept going back to breakfast. I must have been hungry. Kestral had left his flint on the stones surrounding the fire, so, with one eye on Kestral, I tried lighting a cooking fire. It took a few attempts, but I was proud to see a spark catch. I kept the fire low, then rummaged through Kestral’s bag for something to cook. My search yielded thinly sliced pork belly, cheese, a potato and a small packet of herbs. We’d have to stop in a town soon or else we’d starve. I arranged the stones so I could set Kestral’s cooking pan over the fire and began frying the pork belly.
I lost track of time as I cooked. By the time I began cooking the potato in pork grease, I completely missed Kestral waking up. I jumped when he stepped up across the fire from me. Our eyes met for a moment and I searched his for any remaining anger over last night. He looked the same as ever—emotionless and implacable. After a moment, he sat down and helped himself to some of the pork. I finished the mashed potatoes and scooped half of it into his
only bowl. Too hungry to wait, I ate from the pan.
“How are your ribs?” Kestral asked, not glancing up from his breakfast.
“Better.” I twisted, showing him my range of motion. “Not completely healed, but nearly.”
Kestral nodded, still not glancing up. “You should walk today. Give Shan a break.”
“Sure.” I finished the last sliver of pork and began cleaning up. “Looks like you’re running low on food. Maybe we should stop by a village.”
He shook his head, swiping out his bowl with a cloth. “I don’t want bystanders caught in the crossfire if one of your brothers catches up to you.”
“What about food?” I asked, my voice low.
Kestral finally glanced across the fire at me. “Any idea which of your brothers survived the fight?”
I shook my head. “This is going to sound weird, but I don’t think either of them is dead. It’s just a feeling I have.”
Kestral nodded as if that made perfect sense. “We’ve put a lot of distance between us and them. Regardless of who wins, he’ll be magically drained for a while. I suppose you also don’t know how they regain their magic?”
“Yes, in the ten minutes I spent with Eagan, he decided to tell me all his deepest, darkest secrets.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m pretty sure Velyn recovers magic by drowning puppies, or something else horrible.”
Kestral glared at me. “Is it ever possible for you to give a one-word answer?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” I replied.
Kestral’s mouth turned up in a tiny smirk before he looked away. “How many more nights until you’re fully healed?”
I flexed and twisted. “Probably just tonight. Maybe two.”
“Make it one.” Kestral stood and began loading Shan with satchels. I cleaned up breakfast and the campsite, trying to stay out of Kestral’s way as much as possible. I still wasn’t sure how upset he was with me.
Sorcerous Rivalry (The Mage-Born Chronicles Book 1) Page 18
