by Neesa Hart
The question sounded crass. He cursed himself for that. Once again, with his usual skill for tact, he’d managed to screw up. What he felt for Sidney wasn’t some kind of sordid, purely physical drive for gratification, and he sure as hell didn’t like knowing that she thought it was. “No.” He clenched his teeth. “Sort of.” He dropped his head back against the seat and uttered a dark curse. “Sorry. I’m not handling this well.”
“I wouldn’t say that, exactly.”
Max spent several long seconds in emotional turmoil, then scraped himself together. “Look, Sidney. I want you to be very clear on this, if nothing else. I want to make love to you, but I also want to be your lover. It’s not the same thing. We’re both old enough to know the difference.”
Her eyelids fluttered as she glanced away from him. “Yes.”
When she didn’t speak again, he tightened his grip on her hand. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”
She raised her eyes to his, and it took every ounce of control he possessed not to pull her onto his lap and kiss the daylights out of her. She looked so incredibly adorable with that glint of determination in her eyes, and the firm set of her chin. Sidney reached over and loosened his tie. “All right,” she said. “Here are the hard facts.” The tip of her tongue flicked out to wet the corner of her mouth. That sent his blood pressure to the moon. “First, you didn’t have to work this hard to impress me.”
He wondered what she’d say if he told her he was contemplating asking her to go to Milan with him. He owned a villa there—a very private, very well-staffed, very accommodating home where he could have her to himself for weeks on end. “No?” he asked.
“Uh-uh.” She shook her head. “I was already pretty impressed.”
“You were?” What would she do if he simply pulled her onto his lap, he wondered?
“Yep.” she shifted in her seat. “And second,” her eyes turned cloudy with passion, “in case you doubted it, I’m completely under your spell. I think I have been since I was fifteen years old.”
Because he thought he might die if he didn’t, he leaned over and kissed her then, a light teasing kiss that left him desperate for more. If he could, he realized, he’d devour her, and then, maybe, this gnawing hunger would abate. “Sidney,” he whispered against her mouth. “You’re tearing me to pieces. I’ve got to have you.”
“You’ve got me,” she said as she threaded her fingers in his hair. “You—ah—” her voice shredded as he nipped at her earlobe “—believe me. You’ve got me.”
He swept his hand over her hip. He couldn’t wait any longer to give her mouth the kind of leisurely exploration he’d been craving all night. At that moment, he could easily picture himself drowning in the sheer sensation of holding her. Her hands gripped his head. Her lips moved in time with his. Her head tilted back against the seat to give him unrestricted access. “Sidney,” he tore his mouth from hers to run it along her jaw, “baby, you can’t imagine what you’re doing to me.”
She pressed on his chest until he loosened his grip. The bewitching smile she gave him made his heart miss its next beat. “Yes, I can,” she said. “Because you’re doing the same thing to me. It’s a little—overwhelming.”
“Don’t be afraid of it.”
A perceptible pause. “I’m not.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded. “Yes. Do you—do you know why?”
Of course he knew why. She could trust him because he was the most trustworthy person on earth. He took care of everything, always. Just like he’d take care of her. Belatedly, he realized she was waiting for an answer. He shook his head to clear it. “Why?”
“Because you make me feel really good.”
The unexpected admission had his heart racing. Her expression turned so serious that he tightened his hand on her hip. “I want to.”
“You make me feel—desirable.” She fiddled with his collar. “I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Not since—” she looked away “—not since Carter.”
His back teeth clenched so hard they hurt. He uttered a harsh, two-word expletive that summed up his thoughts on Carter Silas.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Sidney—”
She pressed her fingers to his mouth. “Sorry. Self-deprecation is an old habit.”
“I hate what he did to you.”
“Your loyalty is appreciated.”
He studied her for a minute, disliking the suddenly reticent look in her eyes. With his index finger, he nudged her chin until she looked at him. “Honey, listen to me. No matter what that SOB said to you, or did to you, or didn’t do for you, you are an incredibly desirable woman.” His mouth kicked up at the corner. “Hell, half the women’s magazines in the world have named me the catch of the century, and you’ve got me hooked.”
Sidney managed a slight laugh. “Wonders will never cease.”
He kissed her eyebrow. “Believe me, Sid, you’ve practically got me panting.”
Her fingers played a nervous rhythm on his shoulder. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
The husky note in her voice set off a warning bell in his head. “Why do I have the feeling this is going to have something to do with delayed gratification?”
A smile played at the corner of her mouth. “Because you’re an expert at strategy. I’ve heard that.”
“Sidney—”
“Max, really. I—” she slipped away from him and back into her previous seat before he could stop her. “I want you to listen to me for a minute.”
Years of business negotiations had taught him the wisdom of selective silence. He forced himself to wait until she continued. She leaned back in her seat. “You went to all this trouble.” She indicated the plane with a wave of her hand. “You pulled out every stop, and even invented a few that no one had thought of before. No one has ever worked that hard for me.”
“Then the men you’ve dated are fools.”
She flashed him a smile. “Thanks. But—I don’t want you to think you have to do that for me. I don’t want you to think that I’m just one more woman who wants Max Loden because he’s the catch of the century.” Her half smile bewitched him. “You moved heaven and earth for me, and it’s not that I don’t appreciate it. I’m flattered and dazzled and a little overwhelmed. But it’s important to me that you know you could have gotten just as far if you’d brought me a daisy.”
He frowned. “Have you been talking to Paul?”
“Who?”
“Natalie’s husband. He said the same thing to me today.”
“He told you to bring me a daisy?”
“He told me not to give you the laptop computer I bought for you.”
Sidney laughed. “Oh, Max. What am I going to do with you?”
“That’s the operative question, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “I’ve been thinking about this all day. About us, I mean.”
The sudden pain in his fingers made him realize he’d gripped the arms of his chair. Forcing his fingers to relax, he asked, “Reach any conclusions?”
“I think so.” She brushed her hair back with an elegant sweep of her hand. In some ways, he mused, Sidney was the most elegant woman he’d ever known. Her every move captivated him. “I think that you were right about some things,” she said quietly. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time for us. I—” her eyes drifted shut. “I could fall in love with you.”
Relief poured through him in a torrent, knocking him mentally off guard. Vaguely, he realized that the simple statement shouldn’t mean so much to him, but euphoria was momentarily clouding his brain. “I hope so.” His voice had turned husky.
Her eyes lifted again, and he saw the resolution in them. “But it’s risky, you know. I don’t want to be another one of your conquests.”
His gaze narrowed. “You aren’t.”
“I believe you.” She looked around the plane. “Trouble is, I don’t think you want to be another conquest either.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He felt the vibration as his pilot lowered the landing gear.
“I know a lot about you, but I don’t feel like I really know you. And you don’t really know me. I don’t know what kinds of food you like, or what your favorite color is. I don’t know what kind of music you like, or which baseball team you root for.”
“I hate baseball.”
“Or that you hate baseball.” Sidney leaned forward and put her hand on his knee. “But I do know that I couldn’t bear it if you thought I wanted to be with you for any reason other than the fact that, well, you’re you.”
Would she ever stop surprising him, he wondered? “Lord, Sidney.”
She drew a deep breath as the plane glided onto the runway. “It’s like I told you on Saturday night. I know that a lot of people depend on you, Max. You’re kind of used to that. I don’t want to be one more person on that list.”
“But—”
She held up her hand. “If we, when we—make love…” her slight blush twisted around his heart and squeezed. She gave him a self-effacing smile. “I don’t want any doubts between us. I don’t want you to think I’m with you because you’re the guy with the jet and the big house and the limousine who swept me off my feet.”
Max stared at her. He could feel the bonds of reality sliding away from him. Nothing had prepared him for this. “Sidney—” his voice sounded garbled.
The plane had taxied to a stop. Sidney’s lips turned into a slight smile. “I want to make sure you know I’ll be just as happy with the guy who brings me a daisy.”
Max made a mental note to tell his gardener to plant an acre of the damned things at the first opportunity. “I’m not sure I like this.”
She grinned at him. “You will. Are you free tomorrow night?”
“I don’t know.” At that particular moment, he wasn’t sure of his own name.
“Have your secretary call me tomorrow if you are,” she told him. “Come over, and I’ll fix you dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, you know. That meal you eat when you aren’t working until midnight.”
“Right. I have a vague recollection.”
“And if you can’t make it tomorrow, we’ll do it another night. Okay?”
He nodded. He could be scheduled for dinner at Buckingham Palace, he realized, and he’d cancel in less than a heartbeat. His pilot opened the cockpit door. “We’re here folks,” he announced. Max looked at him. “Thanks, Dave.”
“Sure, Max.” He nodded at Sidney. “Miss Grant. Nice to see you again.” Dave exited the plane through the main door.
Sidney glanced at Max. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. I’ve known these people most of my life. Why do you have them all calling me Miss Grant all of a sudden?”
Max pinned her with a piercing look. “Evidently,” he said quietly, “there are certain things you want to accomplish. And there are things I want to accomplish.” He surged to his feet. “Let’s just say I think it’s past time you knew how much you’re worth.” At her startled expression, he offered her a slight smile. “See? You’re not the only one with an ace up your sleeve, Sid. I’ve got a few surprises of my own.”
“OH MY LORD!” Kelly closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. “You’re kidding. Tell me you’re kidding.”
Sidney jabbed at her Mandarin chicken salad with her fork. “Nope. That’s what he said.”
“And you walked away from him? Geez, Sid, if some man dragged me off to Cincinnati—hell, if he took me to Paramus, and then told me he thought I needed to realize how much I was worth to him, I think I’d fall at his feet.”
Sidney laughed. “No, you wouldn’t. You’d come back with some pithy comment about admiring the man’s excellent taste in women.”
Kelly shook her head. “I’m good on my feet, Sid, but not that good. This guy is dynamite. Besides, you’ve wanted him forever.” Kelly took a bite of her overladen burger.
“I have not.” She frowned.
Her friends eyebrows lifted. “Oh, come on, Sidney. You don’t have to play games with me.”
“I’m not. I never even thought of Max in that—like that, until last weekend at his house.”
Kelly stared at her. “You really don’t know, do you?”
“Kelly—”
“You don’t. You have no idea how that man affects you.”
Sidney resisted the urge to squirm. “I’m very attracted to him.”
“Attrac—Sidney, you’re in love with him.”
“You’re being ridiculous. I hardly know him.”
“You know enough. You’ve been in love with him since you were fifteen years old.”
“I had an adolescent crush. What girl wouldn’t? He’s very compelling. That was a vulnerable time in my life.”
Kelly snorted. “No doubt. After what your mother did to you, I’m sure you were starving for compassion.”
“I was. The first time I met Max—” she shrugged “—he made a big impression on me.”
“I’m sure he did.”
Sidney toyed with her salad again. “But I never once entertained the idea that there could be anything between me and Max.”
Kelly shook her head. “I saw the way he looked at you. That man is hooked.”
“So he says.”
“But you’re afraid to reel him in.”
“He’s not a trout, you know. He’s a financial tycoon who happens to be a little out of my league. You said it yourself—the question on everyone’s lips is ‘Who Gets To Marry Max?’ I don’t think his circle of friends and business associates is ready for the answer to be, ‘Sidney Grant, unwanted illegitimate child and divorcée.”’
“Sidney—” Kelly braced her hands on the table and leaned toward her “—is this about Carter?”
“Of course not.”
Kelly looked dubious. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.” When Kelly still looked unconvinced, Sidney nodded. “Carter did a lot of rotten things to me, but I’m not going to let him ruin the rest of my life. I’m not going to give him that much power.”
Her friend’s expression softened. “I’m glad. When I think about—” she shook her head. “It makes me want to slug the jerk.”
“Me, too,” Sidney said with a soft smile.
“Dibs on the first punch.”
“Sorry, uncle Philip already claimed it.”
“It would serve that creep right to get his lights dimmed by an old man.”
“Don’t underestimate my uncle. He throws a mean right hook.”
“Are you serious?”
“Sure. I never told you?”
“No. Is that where you learned? I thought you took a self-defense class.”
“Nope. When I first moved here, I had a lot of anxiety. Uncle Philip wasn’t exactly experienced in dealing with angst-ridden teenage girls. So he did the only thing he could think of. He took me to the gym, and taught me to box. I worked off a lot of aggression beating the crud out of a sandbag.”
“You know, the more you tell me about your uncle, the more I like the guy.”
Sidney laughed. In the three years that Kelly had worked for her, she’d grown extremely fond of the other woman’s candor and quick wit. “He likes you, too. He says you’re good for me.”
“I am. Without me, you’d sink into a sea of introspection. You depend on me to keep you appropriately shallow.”
“So that’s why you keep telling me to jump Max.”
“Well, I have to admit, I have a certain preoccupation with what that man would look like in the buff. I figured a firsthand report from you would be the closest I could get.”
Sidney laughed. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m telling you, Sid, after I saw that man in a swimsuit last week, well, let’s just say I have a new definition of muscle tone. What’s he do? Work out, like, fifteen hours a day?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask uncle
Philip.”
“Why don’t you ask Max instead?”
“I’m sure that would go over quite well. You know, Max,” she said in a mocking tone, “Kelly’s been wondering just what you do to maintain those washboard abs.”
“Don’t forget to ask about his rear end. I’d like to know how many leg lifts a person has to do to have a butt like that.”
The image of Max doing leg lifts sent Sidney into a fit of laughter. “I’ll try to remember that. I’m glad to know your concerns about this relationship have to do with Max’s personal fitness routine.”
Kelly’s expression turned serious. “Noooo. That’s not true. I just think it’s past time you found out what it could be like between you and a guy like him. They’re not all like Carter you know.”
“I know.”
“Good.” Kelly nodded. “By the way, all we have on the calendar is the Geyerson affair tonight, which I’m covering, and the Heart Association reception.”
“Have you inspected that hotel? The ballroom layout is a little strange.”
“Yes. I sited the place last week while you were tied up with the Drysdale wedding. Chip has already started on the buffet.”
“So the coordinator approved the suggestion for chilled hors d’oeuvres?”
“Yep. She loved your idea of putting the shrimp on an ice pyramid. I think the candles will really set it off.”
“Good. I was afraid she’d think it was too clinical looking.”
“I told her you wanted to use green-and-red linens and purple flowers. She bit.”
“Smart woman.”
“Brilliant.” Kelly tipped her head to one side. “So, since everything is under control here at your empire, do you want to knock off and go shopping this afternoon?”
“What?”
“Shopping.” Kelly waved her hand in an absent fashion. “I thought you might like something new to wear tonight.”
“He’s just coming for dinner.”
Kelly ignored her. “You, ah, might want to consider something lacy and black. Men like that.”
“Kelly—”
“Or, I’ve heard green can be nice. Takes ’em off guard.”
“I was leaning toward jeans and a sweatshirt.”
