by Cheryl Wyatt
He couldn’t be distracted by emotions or hurt or tears.
It was ranger school, or bust.
* * *
This wasn’t happening.
But according to Dad’s text, it was. They were opting for divorce mediation rather than marriage counseling. They weren’t trying to fix it. They were trying to end it. Kate felt sick. No way could she hold food down. Hopefully Caleb would understand. Tia, she could fool. After all, bluffing was her specialty, right?
She felt Caleb’s concern, the weight of his stare sweeping her often. She wasn’t going to cave and meet his gaze. She couldn’t get emotional in front of Tia. It would upset her.
A new text vibrated Kate’s phone from Mom. It simply said, “Urgent. Call me, stat.”
Grandpa? Kate stilled and fought nausea. She smiled airily. “I need to step outside. Can you keep an eye on Tia for me?”
Caleb’s gaze bored into hers. He wasn’t fooled, but at least he didn’t argue. “Of course. I’m here to help. Remember?”
His words held a gravity that surpassed their literal meaning. He was sending her a Tia-proof message that he was here if she needed emotional support. She didn’t. Couldn’t.
“Excuse me.” She walked as calmly to the outdoor terrace area as possible. She needed air, ASAP. And she needed to call Mom.
“Hello, Mom?” Kate said when she answered. “Is Grandpa—”
“No, no, Kate. Grandpa is holding his own. It’s me. I found out your dad’s not contesting the divorce.” Her mom burst into tears. “I—I’m so devastated. I shouldn’t be. I asked for it. I guess I never dreamed he’d give me, us, up so easily.”
“I’m so sorry, Mom. Maybe he knows how stubborn you are and doesn’t feel it’s worth a shot.” Kate winced at her own words.
“No, I guess it’s not. I’ve never been worth his time or trouble, so, while my head tells me I’m better off, my heart is shattered. I’ve started this and I can’t go back.”
“Mom, yes you can. Don’t be prideful.”
“He’ll go to war for everything and everyone but me. Sorry, Kate. I shouldn’t unload like this. You’re probably busy, or—”
“No. No, Mom, I’m not too busy to be here for you.” Kate’s knees knocked to a near buckle. Her world rocked at Mom’s uncharacteristic display of emotion and dismay. Mom was the strongest person she knew. “Did you guys talk about trying counseling?”
“No. I think we’re way past that, honey.”
“You’re never too far gone. Find a Christian counselor immediately and at least try. I know Dad will do it.”
“I’m so sleep deprived from everything going on with Grandma and Grandpa, I’m not sure I have it in me to hash it all out, Kate. Counselors want you to talk, talk, talk and I’m just...so tired.”
That may be part of the problem. “Mom, don’t do anything drastic until after Grandpa’s gone.”
“Katherine!”
“Sorry. But at this point we need to focus on what’s salvageable. You know the prognosis for Grandpa is grave. It’s only a matter of time. Your marriage can still be saved.”
A soft intake of air then a muffled sob sounded. Like maybe her mom desperately wanted to hear that and have it be possible.
“Mom, you’re beyond tired right now. You know what severe and prolonged sleep deprivation can do to a person emotionally, physiologically and mentally. So I ask with all my heart, don’t do or say or sign anything else pertaining to your divorce right now. Please? For me? That’s all I’ll ever ask you for. Please, Mom. I am begging.”
“That doesn’t become you, Kate. Being strong means never having to beg.”
“Fine, then I’m weak. I want my family, Mom, and I’m willing to beg for it.”
“You’ll still have us. Just in a different capacity.”
“No. It’s not the same. It won’t be the same. I want us together. Please, try.” Kate’s throat tightened, eyes burned.
Then she felt a presence stir behind her and she whirled, half expecting to see the bandit. But it was just Caleb. Kate covered the phone, hating how annoyed she felt at his intrusion. Yet the concern in his gorgeous eyes became her undoing. She muted the phone, resisting the urge to yell, “What?” but tapered her reaction to an even, “May I help you, Landis?”
“I wish you’d really mean that, Kate. Because I’d love nothing more than to help you.” He nodded to the phone. “Everything okay? Obviously not. What’s going on? Be real.”
“No, things are not okay, and since I’m not sure they’ll ever be, there’s no use hashing it out.”
Kate froze. She’d uttered Mother’s very words. She stood like that, stunned, clutching the muted phone. A knot sat in her throat the size of a rock. Forget it, she was the rock.
And for the first time in her life, she realized that might not always be a good thing.
Her life and future flashed before her eyes and she had a sinking sensation she’d never find love. Just as BB had said. If she focused on staying strong and not letting herself be open to hurt, she’d close herself off to happiness, too. And love.
Caleb reached over, took the phone from her hands, switched off the mute setting and said, “Hi, I’m not sure who this is, but Kate needs to call you back.”
Kate blinked at Caleb then angled her head. Why could she not rip her eyes away from him? His eyebrows raised as her mom chattered on the other line. “Who am I? Caleb Landis, a friend of Kate’s. Yes, Bri’s brother. I got in a couple months ago.” He stepped away from Kate and eyed her selectively. “Yeah. She is. I will. Yeah, I will. Not a prob. I will. Take care. ’Bye.”
Kate rushed him. “What’d she say? Did she order you to keep tabs on me? Because I don’t need a keeper. You hover enough.”
Rather than seem put off, Caleb grinned. “You’re just like her. Down to the voice and the stubborn self-sufficient will.”
Kate blinked. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“And there may lie much of the problem. Come on, Tia needs to use the restroom, which is why I came out here to get you. I don’t really feel comfortable taking her. The waitress is watching her until I return.”
“Oh! Sorry. Let’s go.” As they returned, Tia had three Golden Terrace waitresses, one hostess and two waiters held in rapt attention at the table as she displayed Giggles, Dance, Hope, Shine and a few other dolls Caleb had not met.
“How did you smuggle these guys in?” Kate helped Tia from her chair and indicated the dolls.
Tia unashamedly aimed a finger at Kate’s purse. “Why, that big ol’ suitcase of yours. I dumped all your junk out of it and put my dollies in there. It said Coach. And they fit!”
Kate’s eyes bugged. “Tia! You dumped all my stuff out? Even my wallet?” Thankfully Kate always carried her phone in her pocket. “This isn’t a suitcase. It’s a designer bag, a gift from my g-grandpa.” Kate smiled. “And Grandpa would definitely approve of it being converted to a princess carriage this evening.”
Tia’s eyes widened. “But it’s from your grandpa.”
Kate bent and brushed hair off Tia’s forehead. Staff that had caught the tender exchange ebbed back into work. The trio had come early, so other dinner guests were just arriving at other tables. “You constantly give your toys and things away to the less fortunate. You’d be the perfect princess, Tia. You have a generous heart. In fact, from now on, your name is officially Princess Blessing. Ready for the restroom?”
“Yes, ma’am! Princess Blessing is ready!” Tia picked Giggles off the menu she’d used as a flying carpet. Kate’s gaze fell on a menu photo of a gorgeous sunrise peeking through a dusky dawn.
She blinked. Leaned in. Viewed the photos on other tables’ menus then theirs and realized those at their table were entirely all sunrises or sunsets. Remember the dawn.
Ho
w in the world had God orchestrated everything to the crux of this moment? How? It was no accident, nor coincidence they’d been seated at the only table bearing sunrise menus. Kate closed her eyes. “I don’t know how You managed this. But thank You.”
Tia gave her a funny look, and Caleb dipped his head and smiled. He distracted Tia with a verbal I Spy game they must have started when she’d gone out to the terrace.
This entire night had God’s hand and signature scrolled lovingly across it. And Kate had a feeling tomorrow’s sunrise would be beautiful regardless of her parents’ choices. God was aware. He cared. He was working behind the scenes. Her parents’ marriage and Kate’s entire unstable, unsteady limping life were in good hands, the hands of the Great Physician.
Hang in, sweetness. Darkness never defeats the dawn.
Kate’s spirits lightened and lifted immediately.
She shuffled Tia into a stall then waited on the powder room sofa. She prayed so no one but One could hear, “I don’t know who he is, this stealthy bandit, but You’re no doubt using him in my life to keep me sane while my parents blow up their marriage. Wherever he is tonight, bless him. Thanks for Caleb, Tia and even Giggles and Pepe Le Pew. Thank You for making sure I didn’t have to face tonight’s hard news alone. Thank You.”
Kate exited the stall and washed her hands beside a grinning Tia who was way past washing and more into playing finger puppets in the water stream now.
Kate grinned inwardly and pretended not to notice.
As the water flowed over her hands, equal rivulets of peace washed over her. Peace incongruent with her life circumstance.
She decided she needed to leave the bandit a note, for no other reason than to thank him. If he never sent another note, he’d gotten her through today.
Chapter Eight
“Need help?” Caleb asked, leaning against the kitchen counter, enjoying the Saturday-morning scent and sizzle of bacon frying. He waved at Tia, watching cartoons.
Kate smiled. “Nah, I’m good. You can keep me company if you want, though.” She yawned, eyes still appearing tired.
“Sure. D’ju sleep okay?” He realized last night, claiming the couch as Kate put Tia to bed, that his being in the cabin might make Kate uncomfortable.
“I slept fine. Your bed’s comfy. I’m just not awake yet.” She looked at him through gorgeous eyelashes. “Although, I admit I found it odd Mr. Macho Army Medic sleeps on pink sheets.”
He blushed. “By accident only. I threw white sheets in the washer for you, not realizing Bri had new red towels in there, too.”
Kate laughed. “Thanks for washing them, though. And the mattress topper is so thick and luscious.”
Kinda like Kate’s hair, even in the morning. He smiled and helped her crack eggs then slide the contents into a bowl. “Yeah, I wish I could take it to Syria with me.” He grinned. “But the duvet won’t fit in my rucksack.”
She giggled. “Syria. Wow. Sounds dangerous.”
Caleb laughed because, rather than look fearful for him or worried, her eyes sparkled with glee and light envy. The military had been a big part of her life. Caleb guessed it was only natural that even after she left it behind, she still felt some nostalgia for the excitement and adventure. “You’re a good soldier, Kate. There and here.”
“Yep. That’s me. Soldier on.” Sarcasm hit her tone.
He poured the eggs into a pan she heated and she dropped chunks of the cooked and crispy bacon into it. “Cheese?”
“Oh, yeah.” She sprinkled it in liberally. “Bring it on.”
“That’s my girl.” Caleb scowled at his own words, but since Kate didn’t seem to pick up on them, he let it go.
“So what’s the plan for the day?” Kate turned the stove off. Caleb buttered toast that popped up.
“It’s supposed to be nice outside,” Caleb replied. “I was thinking we could take Tia and Mistletoe to Eagle Point Park to play soccer.”
“That’ll be good. Tia loves it and I need the exercise.”
“You need to go run or anything? I can watch T.”
“Nah. I only run every other day and today’s not my day.” They called Tia to the table and Caleb bowed his head as Kate said grace. Her humble, gracious words reminded him of his mother’s, right at this table, a lifetime before her death.
He cleared his throat as they started eating. “Thanks for...making breakfast. Eagle Point’s the only place I get home-cooked meals.” Man, he’d miss them.
Caleb found it hard to tear his thoughts from reasons it would be nice to stay. He immediately thought of Kate. His gaze found her and for a split second he wondered if he’d have a shot if he decided not to reenlist. Then he quickly came to his senses.
He got a text from Brock asking where he was. Caleb didn’t want to text at the table. Breakfast-time should be family time. Not that Tia and Kate were family, but still. Mealtime reminded him of the hours of connecting and lively discussion.
“Meals were always Mom’s favorite part of the day.”
Kate smiled. “Bri said she used to hate when your mom would force you guys to say something nice about everyone at the table before she’d let you eat dessert.”
“Yeah, pure torture since she’d set dessert in front of us from the onset.” A memory soured his smile. “Mom used to point to Dad’s empty chair and make us say something nice about him, too.”
“Even after he abandoned you guys?”
“Especially after that. She didn’t want our hearts to get bitter.” He set his fork down, no longer hungry. “I’m not sure her tactic worked.”
Kate observed Caleb silently, head tilted in a way that made him uncomfortable. “So, Tia, how about we go to the park?”
“Yay! Can Mistletoe go, too?”
“That’s the plan. Miss Jonah will have to hang here, though.” Caleb ruffled her hair while she giggled over his fish comment. Kate still watched him as she gathered dishes, care and concern clearly visible in her eyes.
Regret hit with a huge sense of “what could have been” as he watched her go about domestic chores. He liked helping her and they worked well as a team. She’d make a great wife someday.
For someone else.
Therefore, it would be in Caleb’s best interests if he put a swift stop to the curiosity drilling his mind as to the kind of wife she’d be. It was dead wrong for his thoughts to go there. They both knew she was destined to be someone else’s, even if she hadn’t found him yet. And Caleb was destined to prove himself by becoming a ranger. Love wasn’t a possibility until after he’d achieved his goal.
Caleb fought the slog of regret, rethinking and wonder as they put sunscreen on Tia and a harness leash on Mistletoe.
“The dog’s as eager as you, Tia.” Kate’s grin made it really hard for Caleb not to resent that other guy, whoever he’d end up to be, who’d get to be the recipient of those sweet smiles and killer eyes every day for the rest of their lives. Caleb gritted his teeth, shored his ironclad will and forced himself to look away.
Once he got to Eagle Point Park, a whole new set of memories flooded him. Sliding with friends. Doing clean-up with Mom and Bri to help the community. Freaking Mom out by breaking both his thumbs while accidentally flipping over on the swing set in a failed attempt to impress a girl. Caleb laughed.
I hope you know how much I miss you, Mom. Maybe you do. If you can see me, I hope I’ve done you and all you taught me proud. You always told us to end our lives better than we began. In your honor, and for sis and my country’s sake, I hope I am.
“Uncle C?” Tia peered up at him. She’d approached with Kate. “We wanted to ask you something. It was my idea. Okay?”
He hunkered down, smiling into the cutest little eyes this side of the Mississippi. “What’s that, sweet stuff?”
“Will you, kind sir
, grant Miss Princess Blessing and, um—um,” Tia leaned to Kate who whispered something then Tia finished with, “Miss Princess Kate the pleasure of your company at church tomorrow, pretty, pretty please with cupcakes on top?”
“I, well, I don’t really go to church these days.”
“Please, Uncle C?” The vulnerability in her eyes and the hope vying with fear he’d say no cut through his heart.
“I’d love to go to church with you, Tia. Er, Princess.”
She threw herself into his arms and held. “Yay! I’m glad.”
He leaned and whispered to Kate, “Will worship for cupcakes.”
She laughed. “We’ll make you some. Don’t worry. That’s on the list for today or tomorrow. Whenever we have time.” Her gaze turned serious as she watched Tia run fun circles with the dog. “Thanks, Caleb. Seriously. That meant a lot to her. And to me.”
He nodded, not exactly pleased to realize that his scoring brownie, or cupcake points rather, with Kate made thoughts of sitting in church seem bearable. Especially that church. “I have my reasons.”
“For not wanting to go? We all do. Push past them, okay?”
In spite of himself, he started grinning. “You can’t not lead people, Kate.”
“Are you saying I’ll never be normal as a civilian? Or are you trying to tell me nicely I’m bossy?”
He smiled, loving how her eyes lit when he did so. “Both.”
They played soccer for a while, which consisted of them kicking the ball and the dog compulsively intercepting it. Mistletoe couldn’t get his mouth around it though, which made it hilarious. “He actually nosed a goal!” Caleb leaped. “Score!” Kate joined his laughter.
The moment ended when his phone rang to signal a new text message. It was from his C.O.—probably pressing Caleb for an answer as to whether he could come back early. That would mean missing Bri’s wedding.
He clenched his jaw, frustrated with military life for the first time as he felt it infringe on life’s other aspects.
