by Amity Cross
“Want another?” Will asked, amusement rippling through his voice.
“Nope,” I said, looking back. “One’s enough for me.”
Unfortunately, this seemed like the answer he was looking for. With a grin he declared, “C’mon, I’ve got something to show you.”
To my surprise, he grabbed my hand and began to lead me toward the stairs. I was so dumbfounded that I would’ve let him take me anywhere. The feeling of his hand in mine was so comforting, safe, and mind-numbingly hot, it was all I could think about.
“You okay?” he asked with a little laugh. “You look terrified.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not going to murder you,” he said, pointing to the roof where a security camera was positioned in the corner. “They’ve got me on camera.”
“Somehow, I don’t think it works.”
He shook his head.
“Have you seen this place?” I exclaimed, earning myself another laugh. “Glad to see my awkwardness is so amusing to you.”
Stopping on the landing out of sight of the bar below, he asked, “Why do you feel awkward?” The smile dropped from his face, and I was more than aware of the darkened corner he’d backed me into.
Determined not to jump him then and there, I took a step away, my back hitting the wall. “It’s a DNA thing.”
He stared at me with such intensity I wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss me or tell me off for lying, but a split second later, the lopsided grin I’d come to know tugged at his lips, and he grabbed my hand again, pulling me up the last flight of stairs.
Dropping my hand to unlock the door to his room, I suddenly felt disappointed. Groaning inwardly, I scolded my rambling thoughts. I was trying to get to know the guy, not throw myself at him. I stepped into the room, closing the door as he went to retrieve his laptop from his bag.
“Before the band got going, I was studying filmography,” he said, and the way his voice lit up, I knew it was something special to him. “I want to make a clip for one of our songs but haven’t had the chance so far.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic, Zoe.” He glanced up at me. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he patted the mattress beside him.
Perching delicately on the edge of the bed, I was careful not to let our legs touch, fearing that tingling sensation. I watched as he opened a file full of videos, and it didn’t escape my notice that one of the thumbnails was of me. Not sure of what I was getting myself into, apprehension coursed through my body.
“I made this for you,” Will said quietly, watching my reaction. “I mean, you can use it for the band or whatever if you want.”
It was then I realized he’d been wandering about the crowd, backstage, photo shoots—everywhere—slyly filming. I was so intent on ignoring him and my growing attraction, I hadn’t noticed. He’d done it all on his phone, so it had a raw documentary feel to it, and it was really close and intimate.
It was set to ‘Bombard’ one of our faster songs. The one we closed our set with, and the one that saw me on top of the drum kit every night. As the video played, it was all me. I mean, there were shots of the other guys, but ninety-five percent had to be me. It was then I realized that everyone had been right. I tried to brush it off, the fact that I was attracted to him, but I didn’t see it, not entirely. Not until now.
“What do you think?” he asked, breaking the spell.
I was silent for a moment, trying to think of something coherent. “It’s…”
“You don’t like it.” He said it with such an air of disappointment my gaze flew to his face.
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s just, I didn’t realize.”
His eyes narrowed as if he was trying to work out the meaning in my words. “That I was filming?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it, I…”
“I love it,” I said abruptly. I didn’t want to hear the end of that sentence. It stunk of friend zone, and I didn’t know why it annoyed me so much. The thought of letting someone else in after all this time scared the hell out of me.
“Good.”
The laptop snapped closed, and he put it on the bed behind us. God, now he had me alone again in a bedroom, but this time, there was no guitar to separate us. My heart thudded in my chest, and I swore I was about to have a heart attack.
“So,” he began. “I haven’t actually asked you, but are you enjoying the tour? I mean, other than me being an ass.”
It was so unexpected I let out a laugh and looked up at him. His eyes were on me, and I suddenly felt naked.
“What?” he asked, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.
“Nothing, it’s just…that wasn’t what I was expecting you to say.”
He chuckled, running a hand over the stubble on his chin, and I imagined what it would feel like to run my hand over his jaw. “What’s with you and Dee?”
“Dee?” I asked with a frown. Was he jealous of Dee now? “I’ve known Dee since I was twelve. We’re best friends. He’s my brother from another mother. Why?”
“It’s hard to tell with you guys sometimes.”
“Hard to tell what?” I asked, but suddenly realized what he meant. “Oh, we’ve never been together. Not like that.”
Will nodded, looking down at my arm, seemingly studying the tattoos that covered it. “He’s a good guy.”
“He is.”
“He looks out for you.”
“He does.”
As if he sensed the conversation was getting too serious, he asked, “How long have you actually been playing? Guitar, I mean.”
“About three years now.” It was a double-edged milestone.
“Really?” His eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Yeah.” I smiled, the tension falling away. “When I decide I want to do something, I work at it until I’ve got it.”
“I can believe that.”
“Oh, no you didn’t,” I cried, understanding the tone in his voice. “You helped yourself with that one. I had nothing to do with it.”
“I deserved that,” he agreed, and the smile that spread across his face made my insides tingle.
Will had me talking and laughing more than I had ever done in the last three years. He was making me forget about everything but right here and right now, and I was glad to share it with him. Dee’s words echoed in my head. Give him a chance. Get to know him. We’d gotten off on the wrong foot from the beginning, and maybe it was a good idea we were sitting here right now.
Before I could move away, Will slid his hand over mine, and the smile fell from my face. My heart thumped in my chest, and I felt myself start to soften toward him despite my deep-rooted fear. I moved closer to him unconsciously, my body drawn to his like a magnet.
“Your tattoos are beautiful,” he said, trailing a finger up my arm, leaving a blaze of heat in his wake.
It was too close for comfort, so I shrank back, but not before he’d felt the scar that ran through the center of the dragon’s back.
“What’s that?” he asked, not noticing my reaction.
“It’s a Japanese water dragon,” I said like he was mad, hoping he’d let it go.
“You have a scar.”
I shrugged uncomfortably. “It’s just a scar.”
He seemed to notice I didn’t want to talk about it and let his questioning go. “Do you want to go back down for a drink? We’ve got a couple of hours to kill yet.”
“I’d like to stay in if it’s all the same to you,” I said. “But don’t let me stop you.”
He watched me for a moment and seemed reluctant. “I’d like to hang with you if that’s okay.”
“I’m not exactly the life of the party.”
He smiled and shook his head. “I don’t want a party.”
I wanted to ask what he really wanted, but that was a dangerous question. I decided I was better off in the dark.
He shifted back up the bed until his back was against
the headboard and gestured for me to follow.
“I’m not gonna bite,” he said with a chuckle when I hesitated.
Feeling bold, I sat next to him, our legs stretched out in front of us on the floral bedspread. He had on his usual scuffed combat boots with the laces undone. I really liked his boots.
Suddenly, his arm was around me, pulling me gently against him, and I was overly aware of his body against mine. I could feel the muscles down his side through the thin T-shirt he wore, his warmth spreading through my body.
I didn’t dare look up. I was too afraid of what I would find.
After he had shown me the video, I knew he was into me. I could feel it in the way he’d held my hand, the way his fingertips trailed up my arm, and even in the way he was sitting next to me now.
The thought of Will Strickland loving and leaving me had me wanting to run hell for leather in the opposite direction.
He didn’t say anything, but I could hear his breathing, and as I shifted to a more comfortable position, I could’ve sworn it wavered.
“We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want,” he said quietly as if he knew what I was thinking. “I don’t know about you, but my idea bank is empty right now.”
The double meaning didn’t escape me, and I snorted. I wasn’t sure how to take it, but I was overwhelmingly glad he wasn’t pushing it. He probably thought I’d run away like a frightened rabbit again. I was teetering on the edge.
Without thinking, I let my head rest against his shoulder, and this time, his breathing definitely hitched.
Deliberately ignoring it, I closed my eyes. If this was all I was going to get, then I was going to take it and remember it fondly. I just wanted to hold on to the one little thing that made me feel warm inside. That Will had taken notice and listened to me. That’s all I wanted.
Deep down, I could tell myself that as much as I wanted, but it wouldn’t override the fact that I still wanted Will Strickland every which way I could get him, and that thought was too much to handle.
I woke to my phone vibrating in my pocket. Sitting bolt upright, I wasn’t sure where I was for a moment.
“What time is it?” Will asked sleepily. It was then I realized I’d fallen asleep against him, and my stomach flip-flopped.
Looking at my phone, I saw a text from Dee. Where you at? Xx
“Five.”
“Shit.”
I scrambled off the bed, my entire body aching to be touched. “I need to go.”
“Zoe,” he began, but I was already out the door.
There was one thing I didn’t want to be and that was a notch on Will Strickland’s bedpost.
“Zoe Granger,” Dee declared as I walked into the band room. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I don’t want to know,” I grumbled, my head thoroughly scrambled with thoughts of Will’s arms around me.
“Simone told me you went off with Will. Upstairs.”
“I didn’t,” I began to protest, but the door opened letting in Louie and Frank, and my mouth clamped shut.
Dee gave me a knowing look and began hauling the gear out to the stage. Before anyone else could have a go, I picked up my guitar case and leads and followed him. When I went back for my hard case of pedals, the room was empty save for the one person I wasn’t ready to see just yet.
“You okay?” Will asked, leaning against the wall.
“Yeah,” I said quietly, moving an amp out of the way to get to my stuff.
“You sure? You bolted outta there…”
“I’m okay. It was just late. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s okay, Zoe. I don’t mind.” The amusement in his voice irritated me more than it should have, and I felt the ice queen inside of me rear her ugly head.
“I’ve gotta set this up,” I mumbled, hauling the hard case into the middle of the room.
“Sometimes, I don’t know who you are.”
I glanced up at him, my heart twisting. He was watching me with a confused look in his eyes, and I couldn’t say that I blamed him. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore, either.
“You’re one thing, and then a split second later you’re another.” He shook his head, looking slightly anguished. “Up there on that stage? You sing from your heart. Everyone believes everything you say because you mean it. Every girl in the room wants to be you, and every guy wants to fuck you.”
All I could do was stare at him. The way he said the word fuck stripped me bare, and I felt desire burning inside of me. It took all my strength not to fling myself across the room and kiss him.
“Whatever the hell you do on stage, do that now. Do it all the time. That girl up there is Zoe. I don’t know who you are.”
And just like that, he threw a bucket of metaphoric ice all over me. Anger rose inside my guts and burned a trail right through my body, distorting my expression.
“What happened to you?” he asked with a frown like I was some kind of a puzzle.
I shrugged.
“Shrugging is such a noncommittal gesture.”
“I wanted a noncommittal answer,” I retorted and hauled my hard case out of the room before he could berate me any further. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I ever would be.
For a small town, the gig that night was packed. It was just The Stabs and us, but it was more than enough to keep the locals happy. It was wild, and before long, the room was as hot as a furnace as two hundred sweaty humans jumped around having the time of their lives. Afterward, most of the people stayed behind, raking in a fortune for bigfoot behind the bar.
When he saw me waiting to be served, he pulled a bottle of Bulmers out of the fridge, popped the top off, and gave it to me. “On the house,” he said with a wink. It was nice of him to remember what I had ordered, let alone give me one free. He really must have been swimming in piles of money tonight.
Before I could turn around and melt back into the crowd, a guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Great show tonight.”
I looked him up and down, and he seemed harmless enough. “Thanks.”
He offered his hand. “I’m Matt.”
“Zoe.” I shook it to be polite.
“I’d offer to buy you a drink, but I see you already have one.”
“Sorry.” I shrugged, a little uncomfortable.
As he started talking to me about something inane, I tried to think of a polite way to discourage him. He seemed to edge closer into my personal space, and I knew he was trying to pick me up. Wasn’t going to happen.
“Sorry, Matt, but I’m not interested.”
“Oh, come on.” He reached over and ran a finger down the back of my hand.
“Sorry, but I’m—” I began more firmly but was interrupted as a tattooed arm came down on the bar between us. I recognized the panther that crawled down his skin immediately. Will.
“She said she wasn’t interested, mate.” His voice was strained, and I knew he was epically pissed off.
“Will,” I said in his ear. “Drop it.”
He didn’t move, eyeing the guy with a dark look that said he would thump him one if he didn’t go away.
Hoping it would snap him out of it, I slid my hand along the waistband of his jeans and grazed my thumb across the bare skin of his back. It had the desired effect all right. Immediately, his hand dropped from the bar, and he stepped back against me.
Pulling my hand away, I shoved him hard. Offering the poor guy an apology, my hand fisted into Will’s shirt, and I yanked him outside onto the deserted veranda.
“What the hell?” I hissed at him.
“Zo,” he said, and I could see the apology clear in his eyes.
I stiffened and gave him a look. For some reason, it was a bit too close for comfort. Him calling me Zo.
“What? We can’t be friends? I can’t look out for you? If not, then what have we been doing?”
I shrugged.
“You’re in a successful band, Zo. People a
re going to want a piece of you. That includes idiots like that guy. They wanna hear what you have to say, and they’re gonna make up stuff that’s not nice, and they will want to feel you up.” Was he drunk?
“Fucking hell, Will.”
He let out a tortured moan that scared the hell out of me. “I wanna know you. I’ve tried so hard. Why won’t you let me?”
I should have come back with because I’m trying to fight the overwhelming attraction I have for you before it destroys my carefully placed facade, but instead, I came out with, “What about that guy you almost punched? What about him?”
“He was bothering you.”
“Yeah, but I could have handled it myself. Without resorting to physical harm.”
“Shit, Zoe,” he said and ran a hand over his face. “I acted like a jerk. I didn’t do much to make you think I was nothing like my reputation.”
“That you’re a womanizing pervert? Or the one where you beat up on guys for talking to girls?”
“Say no once and you’re an elitist snob. Say yes once and you’re a womanizing bastard. Stick up for a mate, and you’ve got an anger issue. Can’t catch a break.”
Impulsively, I held out a hand to him. He looked at it for a moment, confusion creasing his brow, and then his gaze met mine.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m throwing you a break,” I muttered. “You need to catch it.”
A sly smile tugged at his lips, and he took my hand, taking the opportunity to run a thumb over my knuckles. A shiver ran down my spine, and I pulled away.
“Break’s over,” I said quietly, letting my gaze wander over the street below. I would’ve done anything to kiss him right then, but that was impulsive and stupid. Everything would change, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to yet.
“You can’t hide away all the time,” he said, breaking the silence.
“Why do you care?”
He pointed back into the pub. “Separation from that is one thing as a muso but another thing as a person.”
Somehow, I didn’t think he was saying all of it.
“Is this your way of telling me to get out more?”
“Kinda.”
