by Andi Bremner
“Fuck, Juliette…”
Grinning, she lifted herself and positioning him at her entrance and then slid down, sheathing him to the hilt in her warm silkiness. Noah clutched at her hips, guiding her, as he claimed her mouth with his. Juliette moved, sliding up and down slowly, painfully slowly driving them both mad with agonizing desire.
“More … more…” he urged, his fingers cutting into her hips.
“Yes.” She picked up her pace, thrusting harder and deeper against him, driving him into further into her warmth. “Noah!”
“Hmm,” he murmured, sucking her earlobe into his mouth and sucking hard. He let her set the pace, taking what she needed and at the same time giving him exactly what he needed. Her hands clutched at her his shoulders, holding on as she continued to ride him. He felt her climax building and lifted his hips urging her on, murmuring her name, knowing she was close. He pulled back to watch her, marveling at the way her mouth fell open, her eyes half closed as she lost herself in her orgasm that washed over her, calling his name. And then he was falling, losing himself in everything that was Juliette and following her over the precipice into ecstasy.
As they came back down he found her mouth again, drawing her into a deep and lingering kiss, savoring the taste of her, the feel of her, never wanting this moment to end. Never wanting to let her go, never wanting to lose her again. Never wanting to be lost in a moment of stupidity again that would see him separated from Juliette.
After a long moment as their breathing returned to normal and their heart rates settled Juliette went to climb off, but he held her. “No,” he ordered, his voice thick with emotion. “Stay.”
She smiled. “I can’t stay here forever, Noah.”
“More’s the shame.”
She laughed, and this time he let her move away, instantly missing her warmth and sweetness. She righted her skirt and then reached for her panties discarded on the floor.
“So, Juliette…”
“Hmm?”
“Home?”
Her smile deepened. “Yes. Take me home.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Juliette
Juliette woke the next morning surrounding by Noah. His chest was pressed against her back, a leg draped over hers and an arm heavy across her. Bright morning sunlight streamed in through the open blinds, and Loops had her head rested on the edge of the bed looking at them.
She stirred. “Morning, Loops. You wanna go out?”
Noah’s arm clasped around her and pulled her tighter against him, nuzzling his face into her neck. Waking up more, feeling suddenly self-conscious in the morning sunlight Juliette extricated herself from Noah’s embrace, sliding out of the bed and searching for something to put on. She found one of his t-shirts and slipped it over her head, taking a moment to inhale it, savoring the scent of him that clung to it. Then she grabbed her head scarf, which had been discarded on the floor beside the bed, and tied it loosely around her head. She wasn’t ashamed of her baldness. It was what it was, but she didn’t flaunt it and, considering how uncomfortable it made people, she generally tried to cover up.
Scratching Loops’s head, she went to let the dog out the back door, but when she rounded the corner, coming into the kitchen she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Kelly in the kitchen.
Kelly, who was busy cooking something at the stove and hadn’t noticed Juliette watching from the doorway.
“What are you doing?” Juliette asked eventually making Kelly jump and spin around, her face registering her obvious surprise.
Kelly’s eyes raked over Juliette taking in her bare legs and Noah’s t-shirt. “What am I doing? What are you doing?”
“Excuse me?” Juliette was confused. What was Kelly doing here? And what was she doing here so early in the morning?
“I’m here every Saturday morning,” Kelly informed her, “and sometimes Friday night, too. Although I didn’t expect to find you here. I thought I was clear last night.”
Juliette frowned. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Kelly, a conversation she hadn’t wanted to have and one that had left her feeling more than a little confused. If Noah hadn’t approached her straight afterward, if she hadn’t felt his arms around her and heard his words in her ear she might have walked away from him right then and there forever. But Noah had shown her, had proven to her with his actions and the sweet words he murmured to her afterwards that he could handle whatever was coming her way, whatever was coming their way.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Juliette replied eventually. “And I still don’t get why you’re here. Is Noah expecting you?”
Kelly placed one hand on her hip. “Yes. I’ve been coming in every Saturday for ages and cooking breakfast for Noah. It’s like a thing we have.”
“You have a thing with Noah?”
“We have more than thing,” she replied, her eyes daring Juliette to believe her. “What you think Noah has been living like a monk since you left? He might not want a complicated romance in his life, but he still has needs.”
Juliette blinked at her. Kelly was lying. She was sure of it, and yet there was that lingering doubt in her mind. Would Noah really have moved onto Kelly? To uncomplicated Kelly who demanded nothing? It would make sense. Someone like Kelly suited Noah and how he wanted to live his life, no love, no commitment, just … sex. And of course, someone who could cook.
“Noah would have told me,” Juliette said after a long moment.
“Why? You guys weren’t together, although,” and she let her gaze roam over Juliette’s bare legs, “it looks like you might be back together. For how long this time? Until you die?”
“Kelly!”
Kelly jumped at the sound of her name and had the grace to look shamefaced when she caught sight of Noah hovering behind Juliette. Juliette glanced at him, feeling the familiar lurch of her heart as she took in his broad, bare chest that tapered down to narrow hips on which hung a loose pair of boxer short. His hair, still messy from their lovemaking all night, stuck out at odd angles, and there was a gleam in his eye and hardness about his jaw that reflected his serious displeasure.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he demanded, his voice seriously pissed off.
“She’s making you breakfast,” Juliette supplied, “which apparently, she does every Saturday after staying here Friday nights.”
“Like hell she does!” Noah roared and then moved past Juliette to come towards Kelly. “I’ve told you before, Kelly, I’m not interested. I tried to tell you in a nice way, I tried to be respectful of your feelings, but it looks like you haven’t been respectful of mine. Or Juliette’s.”
“Noah…”
“So, get the fuck out of my house,” he roared, interrupting whatever argument she was about to present, “and do not let yourself back in. I don’t want you here. Can I be any clearer than this?”
Kelly colored. “Noah, we’ve been friends for years.”
“Exactly. Friends. And you’ve taken advantage of that friendship to push your case on more than one occasion,” he replied, “and because we were friends I rebuffed you every time in the nicest way possible. But no more. If you’re gonna stand here and say shit to Juliette, then you can consider us no longer friends.”
Kelly turned and grabbed her purse off the kitchen bench and when she turned back her eyes blazed with a mixture of hurt and anger. She glared at Juliette. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but I wish you’d just hurry up and die already.”
Juliette drew in a shocked breath, and Noah raised his arm, his hand drawn back in a fist as if he was going to strike Kelly. Then he swore and shook his head, lowering his arm as he glared at Kelly.
“If you were a guy I’d fucking floor you for that comment,” he ground out through clenched teeth only barely containing his fury, “but as it is I will simply tell you to get the hell out of my house and stay the hell away from me and Juliette. Seriously, Kelly, I hear of you ever loitering in a
two-block radius of her and I will not be responsible for my actions.”
“You’re threatening me?” she asked, her eyes round and her face colored a mottled shade of purple. “Seriously, Noah? You’re choosing her over me?”
He glared at her. “There’s no choice, Kelly.”
Then he turned his back on her and pulled a stricken Juliette into his arms as Kelly gathered up the rest of her belongings and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
It was only when she heard the door shut that Juliette relaxed in Noah’s arms and allowed her eyes to spark with tears. “I can’t believe she would say that,” she muttered against his chest. “I can’t believe anyone would say something like that.”
Noah swore again. “She’s jealous. I guess she’s always thought there was more between us that what there is, but because we were friends I never shut them completely down and I guess I’ve sent mixed messages at times. I should have seen this coming really. I should have shut her down long ago.”
Juliette nodded. She knew this, had recognized the jealousy in Kelly from the first time she met her and had been privy to her jealous outbursts from the start. But she never expected this, never expected her to say such horrible words to her. To wish she would die … to actually wish that on someone. The girl, Juliette realized, was more than just jealous. She was hurt.
Lifting her head, she looked up at Noah, tilting her head back so she could see him, gauge his response when he answered her.
“Noah?”
“Hmmn?”
“Kelly,” she began, choosing her words carefully, “she said a few things.”
“Don’t listen to any of the shit she said.”
“No, I know. But, she said that you and she…” She let her words trail off before continuing. “That you had a relationship.”
“We don’t.”
“I know that,” Juliette acknowledged, but she wasn’t going to let this go. She thought about the desperation and hurt in Kelly’s eyes, the look of disbelief and utter shock. She also thought of Noah’s own words sent her mixed messages. “But have you ever … I mean, you’ve been alone for a long time, and Kelly is very pretty…”
Noah was silent, and Juliette got her answer before he spoke, simply in his prolonged silence and the way he swallowed, his throat moving over his Adam’s apple. “Once,” he replied eventually, “a while ago.”
“How long ago?”
“About a year ago,” he explained. “We were drunk. I was drunk and feeling lonely and she was there. She was always there… I knew straight away, afterwards, that it was a mistake. That I was sending her mixed signals, telling her I just wanted to be friends but then sleeping with her… I told her it would never happen again, that I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I made sure it never did. Kelly, though … I knew she didn’t fully accept it, I fucking knew it. Even though she nodded and smiled and agreed that if we started something it would ruin our friendship and only make things awkward and uncomfortable. I swear, Juliette, it was just that once.”
“Hey,” Juliette rushed to assure him. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. But it does explain why she is acting how she is, why she said the things she said. She’s hurt. She feels hurt, betrayed and rejected. It’s only natural that she’d want to take it out on someone.”
“That someone doesn’t have to be you,’ he growled.
Juliette shrugged. “I’m an easy target.”
“Well, you won’t be used for her target practice anymore. I’ll fucking…”
She put her fingers to his lips silencing him. “It’s okay, Noah. It’s over, and it doesn’t matter what she says. I won’t be scared away so easily this time.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “You won’t?”
She shook her head. “Uh huh. I love you. I’ve loved you possibly from the moment you pulled me from the water. I know you’ve had your heart broken before. I know that losing Charlotte broke something inside of you—”
“Juliette…”
“Sh, let me finish,” she insisted, and then she continued. “I know you thought what happened to Charlotte was your fault, and I know you blame yourself. I know you feel guilty. I know this all, Noah, and I’m telling you this because I want you to understand that I get it. I always did. From the very first moment you’ve been nothing but one hundred percent honest with me, and for that I’m grateful. Even when you broke up with me,” she paused, choking a little on her words, “even then it hurt so much because I knew you were telling the truth. No—let me finish. You were always honest, and I know you always will be. But I’m honest, too, and I need you to know that I love you, that you hurt me but you didn’t break me. I want you to know that I’m here, that I’m willing for wait for you, that I know a future with you is not part of the deal—”
“Juliette,” he interrupted, “enough.”
“But I need you to know that no matter what, I’m here. I love you enough to take whatever you want to share. To wait for you, to hold back when you get scared. That I understand. I also want you to know that I know Charlotte.”
He blinked at her, thrown completely by her last statement. “What?”
“I mean I know about her,” she explained. “I’ve talked to Renee and Ryan. Ava told me all about her, and so did Toby. I know this girl, I know the woman you loved enough to make your wife, and I want you to know that I understand how wonderful she was and I never, ever want to replace her. I’m not Charlotte, I don’t want to be Charlotte, and I don’t want to replace her. But I am Juliette, and I am here and I love you. The girl I’ve come to know, the Charlotte I know, would want you to be happy. I think she’d hate to think you were denying yourself a future, that you were tormenting yourself with guilt because of her. I think she’d give you permission—she would’ve given you permission years ago—to be happy.”
Noah stared at her long and hard. His eyes roamed over every detail of her face as if committing it to memory, as if he’d never seen her before.
“God, Juliette…” he began and then paused, gathering his scattered thoughts and emotions before trying again. “Is it my turn to speak now?”
Juliette’s lips quirked. “It is.”
“Good. Now … first of all. I love you. I love you so fucking much it both scares and excites me at the same time. I think I realized I loved you when I saw you singing and dancing in my kitchen when you tried to cook for me. And it scared the fuck out of me, scared me because I didn’t think I would ever feel that way again and scared me because I’ve never loved like I love you. I loved Charlotte, I will never undermine what we had, but the way I feel about you, Juliette … it’s like a physical blow to the gut each and every time. And I was a stupid fool—as too many people pointed out to me—to hurt you and push you away. I was coming back, I’d almost convinced myself to come groveling back to you when I found out you were sick. And then … the idea that I might lose you anyhow and not through any stupid fuck up on my part … well, I could hardly bear it. And I promise, I promise you right here and right now, Juliette, that I’m here for the long haul. I want you now, and I want you forever. I see you with me forever, I want to marry you and cherish you and love and adore on you… We’ll take it slow, I think we both need that, but at the same time you’ve taught me that life is worth living and savoring and that all we have is each precious moment. You’ve taught me to live in the present, not linger in the past or be fearful of the future. You, and your amazing strength and the inner light that glows within you have taught me to grab hold of what’s here, what we have right now and never, ever let it go.”
Juliette blinked at him, overcome by his words. “Noah…”
“And so, Juliette, I love you. I love you. And I am never, ever going to let you go. I’m here for the long haul. Through sickness and health and all that comes with it. You hear me?”
She stared at him, her eyes sparkling with tears. It was like he’d told her everything she ever needed to hear and more. It was like he read
and mirrored her feelings, and her heart lurched, so full she felt as if she might burst open.
“I hear you, Noah. I hear you.”
Epilogue
Juliette
Twelve months later
“Your hair has come back so pretty,” Ava said, securing the single orchid over Juliette’s ear. “So different to how it was.”
Juliette twisted her head and examined the wavy blonde hair which hit almost to her chin. “It’s lighter,” she commented, “and curly. It never had a wave in it before.”
“It’s going to be gorgeous when it gets longer,” Ava observed before a thought suddenly occurred to her. “Is that why you grew it so long before? Because you’d already lost it once before?”
“Uh huh,” Juliette admitted. “It was nothing but my vanity at play. I hated being bald. It was worse before because I was thirteen when I lost my hair the first time. It didn’t seem so bad this time although I’ll be glad if I never have to go through chemo ever again.”
The doctors had performed the bone marrow transplant nearly twelve months earlier, and Juliette had been in remission ever since. She still saw Dr. Nelson regularly, but he told her he didn’t expect the cancer to ever return, although he could never say never. In the meantime, he encouraged Juliette to live her life, make plans, move on, and enjoy herself. It wasn’t her time yet, Juliette knew that, and she understood what Claudia had meant when she’d said those words years ago. It simply wasn’t her time. She had too much she wanted to do, too much she wanted to see and experience. And then there was Noah. Juliette had no plans to leave Noah, ever.
And Noah had no plans to let her go either. He’d embraced her desire to live and experience every single moment by asking her to marry him. And today they were going to say their vows, down on the beach at the spot where he’d first pulled her from the water, surrounded by family and friends. Harry and Bethany had both traveled from Kentucky to be there for Juliette, for which she was grateful. Beyond her friends here in Myrtle Beach and Noah’s family, they were the closest she had to a family.
