by S. M. Smith
A Boy Worth Choosing
S. M. Smith
Copyright © 2015 Sarah Smith
Cover design by Paper and Sage Designs
All rights reserved. This book may not be used or reproduced, scanned or distributed in any form without permission from the author except where permitted by law. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your respect and cooperation are greatly appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
ISBN-13: 978-1505567243
ISBN-10: 1505567246
To Ian-
Thank you for being the perfect example of what a boy worth choosing should be.
Chapter One
~Jessie~
“Can I get you ladies anything?” a thick Latino accent asks.
I open my eyes, lift my head and lower my sunglasses to find perfectly sculpted abs and a pair of khaki shorts standing just beside Daphne.
“I’m fine, thank you,” I say, replacing my sunglasses and trying my best to ignore the drool sliding down my best friend’s face.
“I would absolutely love another piña colada, please,” Daphne says in her best southern drawl.
I shake my head at her. She hasn’t stopped flaunting her southern roots around any of the locals since we arrived four days ago, and honestly I thought this flirty new side of hers was a good sign at first. But she’s adamant that she’s perfectly happy being single and doesn’t intentionally flirt with anyone. But judging by the way the men here will go out of their way to catch a glimpse of those pearly whites and dimples, I wouldn’t be surprised if half the eligible bachelors of Mexico follow her home.
The waiter nods and takes off toward the beach bar like a loyal pup. Daphne flushes with pride and tilts her head back to soak up more sun. Her alabaster skin has acquired a perfect pinkish glow in the hour we’ve been out on the beach, and I’m hoping my color will look as good as hers when we get back.
“You better get some sunscreen on, sister. You’re getting pink.” I toss the bottle at Daphne, knocking the magazine off her lap.
“So how’s the brooding going over there?” she asks, lifting an eyebrow mischievously, as she pours the lotion into the palm of her hand.
I roll my eyes at her and turn back to face the ocean again.
“You know, you don’t have to be so uptight, little lady.”
“I’m not uptight.”
“Psh! You are wound tighter than an eight day clock, little missy. You can’t tell me that you aren’t daydreaming over a particularly gorgeous blonde boy toy of yours over there under those designer shades,” she lifts her sunglasses and arches her brows at me to exaggerate her point.
She’s right. Stephen’s face keeps running laps around my mind. Those words on repeat…his gentle voice…over and over again….
You’re worth waiting for, Jessie St. James. So I will wait for you.
It’s been three weeks since he spoke those words to me and they are all I can think about. I haven’t spoken more than ten syllables to him since my tragic birthday party, and I thought putting a country in between us would give me the opportunity to put things into perspective. But I’m being proven wrong. All I have managed to determine in the last four days is that I miss him... a lot.
“Earth to Jessie.” Daphne throws the sunscreen bottle back in my lap, pulling me out of my Stephen induced coma.
“What do you want me to say?”
“How about you’re madly in love with him and are ready to give up this ridiculous sabbatical already?”
“I already know I love him, Daph,” I say, causing her to purse her lips at me. “But it’s more complicated than that.”
“What is so complicated? He loves you. You love him. Ba-da bing, ba-da boom. And you both live happily ever after. End of story.” The attractive, half naked waiter returns with her drink and a smoking hot smile just for Daphne. He walks away a little less confident though when she barely notices his existence.
“Ugh. See this is why I didn’t want to talk to you to begin with. You don’t get it. I love him like he’s family, because he’s been like family to me for over twenty years. Oh, and did I mention I just got out of not one, but two really bad relationships? I need to feel secure in just being me.” Anger and anxiety build at the thought of Jake and Caleb, causing my heart to thump heavily against my chest.
This is the problem that bothers me the most. I know I have additional feelings for my longest friend. He’s no longer just my best friend and really hasn’t been for a while. But I don’t want to jump into something more intimate with him when I’m still dealing with baggage and drama that my ex-fiancé and my most recent boyfriend have added to my life.
Jake, the ex-fiancé, and I were together for ten years and were about to get married when I found him in bed with my high school friend, Maddy. My biggest fear walking out of that relationship was how was I going to move on with the plans I had for my life. So trying to move on, I jumped into a relationship with Kansas City’s most eligible bachelor, Caleb, only to find out that he only wanted in my pants solely to dislodge a fear of sex I never had. I felt my most confident self while in these relationships and find myself panicking whenever I find myself alone. I’m not used to having to deal with life on my own, unsure of who I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to accomplish. To be fair to both Stephen and myself, I need to know that I’m not just walking into something with him because I think I need a relationship to complete my life.
“Oh, give it a rest. You’re just making excuses. We both know the only thing you’re doing by ignoring Stephen is driving both him and you crazy. You are a strong, independent, successful woman. You’ve moved on from both of those idiots and deserve to be happy with someone who loves you for the incredible woman you are. Now stop lying to yourself, and me for that matter, and get along with your happily ever after already, why don’t ya!” She replaces her sunglasses back onto her face and leans back onto her lounger, signaling that she’s done with this argument.
She may be right, but it’s been a very long time since it was just me and I’m trying to enjoy this time alone. Incidentally I’ve dragged poor Daphne to nearly every Mayan ruin we could possibly get a tour of, taken over a thousand landscape and ocean view pictures, and bought souvenirs for just about every person I know. But each time I close my eyes, I see him.
The man who stayed with me all night when I got wasted after having my heart broken to make sure I was going to be okay the next morning. The man who hangs out with high school boys so that they have a positive role model in their lives. The man who treats everyone, including me, with the utmost respect. The man who stood outside a party he didn’t want to go to just to see me and to tell me that I’m worth waiting for…
I clearly need a distraction, so I pull my beach bag out from under my lounger to dig out my phone and headphones. I start some music, close my eyes, and flip over onto my back, doing my best to get sun on all the right places while maintaining cover in all the places that need it. The last thing I need is a sunburn that keeps me from being able to sit for a week.
The warm sun and the spray of the ocean feel good, and I’m just about lost in my own peaceful world, but every once in a while a kind, gentle man with hair the color of the sun and mesmerizingly green eyes pops in just to let me know he’s not far away.
***
I’ve showered, changed, and triple checked my room to make sure that I’m not leaving anything behind. Daphne knocks, yelling at me through the door.
“Sheesh, you ready yet?�
� She asks before I have the door fully open. I get the impression she’s not really asking me if I’m ready to leave, but if I’m ready to face life again, but I ignore that particular aspect of this question for the time being.
“Yep. Did you double check your room? We can’t come back if you forget anything,” I smirk at her.
She is infamous for leaving something at a hotel. Every time. I’m pretty sure she’s had to buy at least four new flat irons and countless phone chargers since graduating college because she typically leaves them behind. She even has a personal sales rep at her phone store who knows her by name because she’s in there so frequently needing replacement accessories. By the look on her face though, I don’t think she finds my joking very funny. She bends down, unzips the top exterior pocket of her suitcase and pulls out her flat iron and a bag of electronics chargers, holding each in a separate hand.
“Let’s go then,” I say, chuckling at her. She rolls her eyes at me as she places the items back in her bag.
We make our way to the elevator and I pull out my phone to check my email. I have two messages, one from Jason, the newest member of our photography team, and one from Stephen. I pull up Jason’s first.
From: Ackers, Jason
Subject: Cancellations
To: St. James, Jessie; Thomas, Daphne
Hey ladies-
I’m so sorry to bother you while you’re on vacation, however we had two more cancellations today. This makes five this week and I’m concerned we might have a problem. I thought I would give you girls the heads up so that we could look into it as a team on Monday when you get back.
Again, so sorry to bother you both while on vacation. Be safe heading home.
Jason Ackers
Photographer and Graphics Editor
“Daph, did you get Jason’s email?” I ask as we exit the elevator and head toward the front desk.
“I did. I will make some calls on Monday and see what I can dig up. Somethin’ definitely sounds off, but this is the first time we’ve taken this type of vacation at the same time, so it could just be that our clients haven’t been comfortable with us not being there,” she waves her hand as if to brush this off like it’s nothing.
Something about this doesn’t feel right, but without knowing the details, there isn’t really anything I can worry about right now.
I pull up the email from Stephen. Part of me really can’t wait to talk to him, but then another part of me cringes at the idea of facing him after three weeks of silence.
From: Cahill, Stephen
Subject: Missing you…
To: St. James, Jessie
Hey gorgeous,
I know you asked for time and I’m doing my best to give that to you. It’s been two weeks, six days and approximately 18 hours since I last saw your beautiful face and I’m not sure if I miss it, your sweet voice or holding you in my arms more. I know that you going to Mexico was to allow you to spend some time alone, but it’s taking everything within me not to follow you to the beach. I hope that you are a having a wonderful time and cannot wait to hear all the adventures you undoubtedly have dragged Daphne to.
I miss you more than you could possibly know.
Yours always,
Stephen
My breath catches in my chest and his glorious face consumes my consciousness once again.
“What’s wrong?” Daphne stops her conversation with the hostess at the front desk with an alarmed look on her face. It quickly turns to amusement. “Oh, you’ve heard from him haven’t you?”
“Um, yeah. Are we all set here?” I shake off the impact his words have on me and smile at the hostess.
“Sí. Thank you for staying with us. Buenos dias and have a great flight,” the hostess tells us with a big smile and a thick accent.
I try to return with a friendly smile, but his email has made my knees weak. I’m trying so hard to stay strong and remind myself why I’m in Mexico to begin with, however his sweet words are still scrolling across my subconscious, literally taking my breath way.
Walking across the lobby seems like a trip up Mt. Everest, and I kind of wonder if a relationship with him, getting notes like this every day, would always have this effect on me?
I lock my phone without responding to his email and climb into the shuttle, trying to convince myself that I will be strong. I will hold onto this time to myself just a little bit longer.
***
“Thank you for choosing Frontier Airlines. We hope you have enjoyed your stay in sunny Mexico. We will be boarding shortly so please make sure to have your ticket ready for the attendant, as we will start calling for passengers in about five minutes.”
I shut my iPad off and stow it back in my carry on, pulling my ticket out.
“Time to put that thing away,” I tell Daphne, indicating the phone that has been attached to her hand since we cleared security. It dings though, causing her to not listen to a word I just said. She reads the screen and gets a goofy grin on her face.
“What's so funny?” I ask.
“Miley Cyrus just got arrested by the fashion police,” she replies as she clicks away a response to whoever has her giddy.
I roll my eyes at her, realizing I'm not getting any insight to her musings. She finishes and quickly pulls her ticket out as the attendant calls the first guests to board. We board the plane, loading our carry-ons into the overhead bin. I decide at the very last second that I want to email Stephen back, so I jump up and pull my phone out of my bag and quickly type up an email.
From: St. James, Jessie
To: Cahill, Stephen
Subject: RE: Missing you…
I miss you too. But personally, I miss having you around to lift heavy objects and open difficult jars. ;) You did actually follow me to Mexico, by way of invading my mind every time I took five minutes to think. You are a very distracting individual, you know. We’re on the plane now, getting ready to head home. I’ll let you know when we safely land. I too can’t wait to tell you about all the places and things we saw and how no matter where we went or what we were doing, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you and what you said.
I’ll see you soon.
Jessie
I finish just before the flight attendant makes the announcement that they are shutting the cabin doors and all electronic devices need to be turned off. I hit send, turn my phone off and settle back into my seat as the plane taxis the runway.
Our plane takes off flawlessly and even though I try really hard to rest on the way home, my insides toss and turn as we get closer and closer to the real world. Trying to find something to focus on, I start going over my schedule and realize that tomorrow is Saturday.
I’ll probably be at my apartment long enough to clean out my suitcase and repack it to head to my dad’s, but this only makes my heart start skipping beats as the potential to run into Stephen increases. My brain starts to war with my heart over whether or not three weeks is long enough for a dating sabbatical.
Maybe you should just take everything one step at a time and let whatever happens, happen. As I wrap my head around this thought, my body starts to relax and I finally feel myself drift off.
***
I dream of gentle kisses and strong arms in a sun filled field before I’m awakened by a not-so-gentle shake from Daphne. I stretch my arms and legs as much as I can as the flight attendants are going about preparing for landing. Just as I’m getting my wits about me, the plane touches the ground and we’re back in Kansas City.
“You know, I’m really proud of you,” Daphne says quietly from her seat.
“Oh?” I ask, not quite sure where this is going.
“Well the last break up you went through resulted in a night of partying and drunkenness, and consequently, flowers from a megalomaniac who you decided to date.” Her voice is laced with enough seriousness that tells me she was concerned I would go off and do something stupid after the showdown with Caleb.
I don’t blame her for being nervous.
Caleb said some pretty harsh things. Things that stung for several days.
“Well, I learned a few very valuable lessons from my rocky relationship from him. First, partying, which was one of your hair-brained ideas mind you, does absolutely nothing to take the sting out of any hurt feelings. Second, drunkenness does not set a good foundation for a new relationship.”
“So you are considering a new relationship then?” Daphne asks, with a knowing look on her face.
“I think it’s inevitable, don’t you.” I smile sleepily at her, remembering my dream.
“Why yes, darlin’. I sure do.”
Chapter Two
~Stephen~
I pound on the door again, starting to worry about her. Jessie just got back from Mexico last night, she could be ill. What do they call it? Montezuma’s Revenge? Or did she get too much sun? I know she’s here; her car is back in the parking lot and Daphne’s text said that she was going straight home to sleep. Surely she couldn’t have gone anywhere this early in the morning. Would she go for a run so early on her first day back from vacation?
I start to make my way back toward the parking lot to wait for her return when I hear the click of her deadbolt unlocking. I about-face and try to stand patiently in front of her door. She opens it just a crack and her sleepy face lights my world up.
She’s stunning, more beautiful than I remember. Her hair is perfect in her bed-head messy bun, with loose tendrils framing her face. Her skin has a golden glow to it, from plenty of hours in the sun, no doubt. She looks a little thinner too. I frown at that; she’s small as she is, and she doesn’t need to lose any more weight. She pulls her robe tight around her with one hand while rubbing an eye with the other.
“Stephen? What are you doing here? What time is it?” her raspy voice rings through my ears, and for the first time in almost three weeks I feel like I can start to relax.
“Good morning to you too. Here,” I hand her her favorite white chocolate mocha, watching the smile spread across her face as she inhales the aroma. That smile….Wow.
