by Julia Devlin
Under his hands, her chest rose and fell in a too-rapid rhythm. The sounds of her fast, strained breathing filling the room. “I’m sorry,” she said in a pitiful wail then burst into tears as suddenly as she’d come.
Chapter Six
Now that Anna started crying, she couldn’t stop. The orgasm that ripped through her ripped something else free too.
She couldn’t even say why she was crying.
It was too much and everything he’d done had felt too good for comfort. Toward the end, she’d been crazy. Near mad with a desperation she’d never experienced in her life. And that climax—fresh tears spilled down her cheeks—she didn’t know it was possible to orgasm that hard.
She hung her head. Mason’s spanking confirmed everything that terrified her when she’d read those books. Confirmed every niggling fear lingering in the dark corners of her mind—she wasn’t supposed to like this.
With every strike of her backside, heat-filled tingles exploded over her skin, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. Until she’d been so excited she’d tried to masturbate herself for relief. It was humiliating. She was a nice, normal girl. Innocent.
She cried harder.
Mason picked her up as though she were a rag doll. Big, strong arms enveloped her as he cuddled her to his bare chest.
She drew in a shuddering breath. Safe. He’d keep her safe. Take care of her. That’s who Mason was.
The knot of panic in her stomach eased as she buried her face in the curve of his neck, sucking in his clean, spicy scent while he carried her across the room as though she weighed nothing. He sank into an oversized chair, shifting her around until she settled in his lap. A fuzzy blanket covered her naked skin as she shook, sinking farther into his warmth.
Her bare breasts scraped over his chest, sending a shock of awareness to her lower belly. She wept harder, dismayed at the trickle of arousal still present despite her distress.
He kissed her temple and rocked her slightly. He was so warm and she needed him so much as her emotions rioted out of control. He stroked her back, murmuring nonsense as she cried.
She had no idea how long she sat there, curled in his arms, soaking his skin with hot tears but finally, at long last, they subsided. The trembling eased and she blinked at him with watery eyes.
A gentle smile curled his lips as he brushed damp, sticky curls from her tear-tracked cheeks. “Better?”
Chin quivering, she managed to squeak out a tiny, “Yes.”
“I overwhelmed you.” Threads of concern laced the low rumble of his voice. “I’m sorry.”
She bit her lower lip. “I-I didn’t expect that.”
“I know.” He traced the bumps of her spine one by one. “Tell me what upset you.”
She rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart. “I…” Her voice squeaked with embarrassment. “I didn’t want to like it.”
“Why not?” His capable hands still soothed.
She took a deep breath. “I came here determined not to like it.”
“Go on.” He didn’t sound upset and there was no tension anywhere, except for the large erection pressing against her thigh.
She shrugged, feeling silly and childish. “When I read the books and visited the websites, I didn’t like how they made me feel.”
He curved a finger under her chin and lifted her face, forcing her to meet his gaze. There was no censure in his expression, no annoyance or frustration. “How did they make you feel?”
“Ashamed,” she admitted. “And excited.”
He nodded, as though unsurprised.
The silence grew, becoming thick and uncomfortable until she became desperate to fill it and blurted, “I’m sorry.”
He kissed her temple. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m not looking for a certain answer here, sweet girl, I’m looking for your answers.”
Her brows drew together. “Am I normal?”
He brushed his mouth over hers. “There is no normal.”
“But, I…” She trailed off as a furious blush spread over her cheeks. At a loss for words, she gestured over to the bench. “You know.”
A wide grin spread over his lips. “Came your brains out?”
Mortified, she buried her face in his chest.
A chuckle vibrated against her cheek. “I guess paddling your ass isn’t going to be much of a punishment.”
“Ack!” She covered the half inch of her face still exposed and to her surprise she couldn’t help the smile lifting her lips. “I’m humiliated.”
He squeezed her tight. “You’re not the first woman to come from a spanking, Anna.”
Immediate, jealous anger tightened her shoulders. She didn’t want to think about that now and burrowed deeper.
“What ran through your mind just then?”
Did he miss nothing?
“Nothing,” she said quickly and squirmed closer as though somehow she could disappear inside him.
He pulled her hand away from her face and worked a finger under her chin. “No evasion, little tiger.”
Irritation pricked at her spine. “I’m fine.” Her voice, so filled with female petulance she cringed.
One brow rose and she saw the second that edge slid onto his face. The dominant Mason was back. Her pulse kicked up and that peculiar burst of defiance tightened her chest.
“I suggest you tell me.” His chin jutted toward the large armoire. “I have plenty of toys hiding in there to torture you into submission.”
To her utter amazement, her nipples pulled into hard peaks and liquid heat pooled between her thighs.
His expression darkened and he slid under the blanket, palming one breast and playing with the stiff peak. “Interesting.”
There was no surprise in his smug, knowing face. He pinched, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger until she gasped.
He released his hold, roaming down her naked body to her thighs. “We’ll get to that later. But first, answer my question.”
There was no diverting Mason, she understood that now. The thought crossed her mind to lie but that was futile. Lying wasn’t in her nature. Besides, he’d figure it out. He knew her too well.
Her gaze darted away. “The thought of you…” She trailed off, cleared her throat. “Like this.”
“Like what?” he asked even as understanding brightened his eyes.
“You know,” she said, waving an arm the air. “Doing that with other women.”
He stroked her arm as though she were a ruffled cat. “I see. You’re jealous.”
“Maybe.” Righteous anger straightened her spine. And why shouldn’t she be angry? He’d lied to her. Never told her anything about this, but how many other women had he shared this with? Probably hundreds.
He studied her closely, expression unreadable. “What exactly bothers you?”
Another flash of irritation. “Like you don’t know!”
A pointed look, he clearly planned to wait her out.
She was beginning to loathe this implacable patience of his.
She shifted, pushing on his immovable chest with the flat of her hands. “Do you want to think about me having sex with other men?”
“Nice try.” He pressed his lips together as though trying not to laugh.
She scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t like you very much.”
“I’m waiting.” He strummed his fingers resting on the curve of her hip to empathize his point.
“Fine!” She blew out a breath, sending a curl flying before it flopped down over one eye. “I’m mad. You say you love me but you never told me the truth. Those other women know this intimate part of you that you failed to mention to me.”
His gaze darkened, sighing, he tucked the lock of hair behind her ear. “And now you feel minimized?”
Her throat tightening, the sting of a fresh set of tears stung her eyes. Yes, that was exactly it. Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
“I
do love you.”
Her chin titled in a stubborn line and she squeaked, “Not enough to trust me.”
Ignoring the rigidity in her body, he squeezed her tight. “I’ve made a real mess of things and as much as I’d like to change the past, I can’t. I can only promise to be honest going forward. And, I promise, you are the most important woman in my life. I have never truly loved another woman before you. It’s hard to understand because a scene can bring up very intense emotions, but I promise you it was only play.”
“Then why didn’t you trust me?” She had to know. Had to understand or it would niggle at her forever.
“It wasn’t about trusting you. It was about not wanting to push you away.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“That’s because you’re forgetting a key element.”
“What’s that?”
He cupped her jaw in his strong, capable grasp. “Those women knew who and what I was before we even spoke to each other. It doesn’t make them more important than you. It makes them more informed.”
Her hands curled into fists. “And you think you couldn’t have told me?”
“What would you have said, Anna, the first night I took you to bed? What would your reaction have been if over dinner I mentioned that I wanted to tie you up, dominate you, make you obey then fuck you until you screamed?” He released her chin, tilting his head to the side to study her closely. “And that only scratches the surface of the dirty, kinky, obscene things I’ve thought about doing to you.”
Her gaze skirted away. Several long, tense moments slipped by. As much as she wished to pretend otherwise, she knew the truth as well as he did. “It would have frightened me.” She swallowed hard. “It would have made me look at you differently.”
He stroked her cheek. “And selfishly, I didn’t want to put that look in your eyes.”
The admission made her love him even more, it was sweet and protective, exactly like the Mason she’d known all these months. But it didn’t change the facts—he should have told her. She said quietly, “You should have given me the choice.”
“You’re right,” he said, simply. “I made a mistake. I kept looking for ways to tell you but I never found the right words. Before you, it had never been an issue. I was stupid.”
Curious, she asked, “Well, why didn’t you just do what someone did to you?”
He laughed and hugged her. “I was a horny eighteen-year-old kid, I’d have done anything to get laid.”
Tension easing between them, she relaxed into his warm chest, adoring the feel of his hard muscles against her body. “What happened?”
“’Rissa was older. Hell, she was probably only twenty-six at the time but she seemed otherworldly.” He smiled against her temple. “She was a mistress and breaking in eager young boys was her thing. She took a liking to me.”
Shock rolled through her and she straightened. “You mean…”
Amusement danced in his brown eyes. “Yes, I was introduced into the lifestyle as a sub.”
He was so strong and powerful. So utterly commanding, it was impossible for her to envision it. She could only gawk at him and utter, “But, how?”
“She said she’d fuck me like I’d never even dreamed and as a price I’d have to do everything she said.” He laughed, his memories clearly fond, and an unwanted stab of jealousy speared Anna in the chest. “Eighteen-year-old boys don’t say no to an offer like that.”
Anna pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to say something scathing.
He ran his thumb along her lower lip. “None of that, girl. She’s a dear friend of mine, so if you decide to stay, you’ll have to get used to her.”
“You still see her?” Anna’s stomach turned over.
“Of course,” he said as though it should be as obvious. “She taught me everything I know. She’s actually quite angry with me.”
“Why?” Anna liked this less and less. How many other secrets did he have?
“According to her, she taught me better than to be a coward.” He shrugged, not looking upset by the insult. “She thought I should have been honest with you from the start. We’ve had many knock-down, drag-out arguments about it.”
Anna swallowed hard. “You’ve had fights about me?”
“Yes, she’s still fond of telling me what to do.” He stroked her arm and slid his fingers into her hair, massaging the nape of her neck. “She was convinced you were a submissive.”
“She doesn’t even know me,” Anna said, shivering as he traced the cords of her neck even while she wanted to reject the word.
One big shoulder shrugged. “Her theory was I’d never be attracted to you in the first place if you didn’t call to the dominant in me.” A wry shake of the head. “She was right, as usual, annoying woman.”
Anna frowned. “What are you trying to say?”
A smile twitched at his lips. “We’ve proven tonight you have tendencies, how deep those desires go is still open to debate.”
She wanted to deny it. Refute the claim but the evidence wasn’t in her favor. She cleared her throat. “How did you go from her submissive to being…what you are?”
“What I am, huh?” The corners of his eyes crinkled. “’Rissa pretty much beat it out of me.”
Anna gasped. “That’s horrible.”
He chuckled. “Not in a bad way, sweet girl. She’d known all along what my true nature was and she pushed me until I took ownership of it. Then she turned around and taught me everything there is to know about being a Dom.”
“Do you still…” Anna trailed off, unable to voice the words. Afraid of what she’d learn and what it would mean to her future with Mason.
“Fuck her?” he added helpfully and Anna scowled at him, crossing her arms. “Not since I met you. I haven’t had sex with anyone or stepped foot into a club since we met.” He sighed and brushed her hair off her shoulders. “Have we played together over the years? I’d love to say no as I know it would ease your mind, but yes, I’ve played with her many times.”
Anna bit her lip and looked away from him, feeling hurt and confused and generally unhappy. “What does that mean? Play together?”
He gave her a gentle smile, so reminiscent of the man she’d known she wanted to weep from it. Everything had seemed so simple then.
His thumb brushed the line of her jaw. “It means we’ve done scenes with her sub, my sub or both. Sometimes that includes sex with each other, sometimes it doesn’t. But I don’t show up for dinner at her house and sleep with her. Those days were over long before I ever met you.”
Her stomach dipped, heated instantly, recalling some of the scenes she’d read in the book that included multiple people. She shook her head. She had to draw the line somewhere and his seemed as good as any. “I’m never going to do that, Mason.”
His head tilted as he studied her quizzically. “Is that so?”
Her chin raised in defiance. “Yes. I’m not sharing.” She squirmed, ignoring the way her nipples tightened in interest.
And just like that the air shifted between them. His lids became heavy and that unmistakable dominance slid over his features, hardening the planes of his face into something sinful and dangerous. Lethal. Capable of making her do god only knew what.
She swallowed. He adjusted her slightly and she instinctively pressed her thighs together even as her heart pounded hard and her blood raced fast.
“Open.” One commanding word and her thighs spread for him like the parting of the Red Sea. “Good girl.”
Pleasure bloomed in her chest and her head fell back as those strong fingers stroked along her slick folds. He peered at her thoughtfully and her cheeks flushed under his scrutiny. He nipped her bottom lip and circled her clit.
Oh yes. How did he make that feel so good? She tilted her hips, seeking that pressure as need coiled tight and fast in her belly.
“I can see you’re appalled by the very idea.” The smug arrogance in his voice made her burn hotter an
d she tried to contain the quickening of her breath.
“I am.” How did a change in tone and demeanor cause such an extreme reaction in her?
“Just as you abhor the thought of being tortured and punished.”
Her body betrayed her as her inner walls clamped down, needing to be filled as wetness slicked her inner thighs. “I do.” Not sounding remotely convincing.
“You know, you’re not supposed to lie to your Dom.”
A sense of rightness filled her. Yes, he was hers.
She bit her lip, her vision going a bit hazy as he sank into her depth. Thumb swirling over her clit, he circled over and over as he ruthlessly thrust hard and high inside her. Thinking was impossible. All she could manage was a soft whimper as he owned her body. Her hips started to rock, desire took over, consuming her. The first swells of a powerful orgasm threatened, looming large. So close, so fast. She didn’t know how he did it but—
Mason pulled away, leaving her hanging once again on the very edge.
She glared at him, shifting closer, trying to get him to move in that way again. “Don’t stop!”
The one menacing brow rose. He smacked her fully on the pussy.
Shock and excitement roared inside her as tingles exploded over her swollen, needy flesh. Her breath stuttered and she looked at him with pleading eyes, unable to say the words hovering in her throat.
Please, do it again.
A satisfied smirk. Another hard smack.
It stung. Pain and pleasure crested in waves radiating from her very core. Her muscles contracted just once, just enough to let her know orgasm was imminent. Dear god, she was depraved.
Again, again, again.
“Greedy girl,” he said, his voice a low threat that made her shake all over. “Let’s get you occupied on something other than your own pleasure.”
Teeth gritted, she bit back a moan of annoyance.
He gripped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “On your knees, girl.”
She started, straightening and squirming as the desire abated and unease took its place. She licked her lips. “Um…”
