“Why did you think it was a good idea last week, and now you don’t?
“Because now she might get hurt doing something I suggested, and I can’t live with that thought.”
“Maybe God wanted you to tell her that, Ian. Maybe that’s why the verse jumped out at you like it did. Maybe that’s why you started searching the internet for answers.”
“And maybe it wasn’t.”
“That’s a possibility. But what if it is what He wanted, and we tell her she shouldn’t do it?”
“I don’t know!” He looked at Max in desperation. “Do you believe that God heals people?”
“I know His word says that He’s the Lord who heals us. I know that Jesus and His disciples prayed for people and they were healed. And I know that Jesus said we’d do the things He did, and greater things, after He went back to be with God.”
“Have you ever prayed for someone and had them get healed?”
“No. I wish I could say yes, but I haven’t,” Max sighed, shaking his head.
“Have you ever known anyone that God healed?”
“No. But I’ve heard about people who say He did. A lot of people.”
“So you think it’s a possibility?”
“God’s word says that all things are possible to him who believes. Do you believe He can do it, Ian?”
“I want to. You have no idea how bad I want to.”
“Then pray. Fast and pray with Paul and Maddie and see what happens. The worst that can happen is that you’ll all have spent a lot of time with God. Even if He chooses to not heal her, you’ll all have benefited from that.”
“But what if it makes her die sooner than she would have?”
“Ian, I’ve talked to her. She would rather not have to leave this earth right now, but if she does, she’s ready. I’m sure she knows that this could hasten things along. That’s probably why it took her so long to make the decision.
“But know this. It is her decision. It won’t be your fault. Anymore than her wasting away was the doctor’s fault who talked her into doing the chemo. That was her decision, too. Options can only be presented to someone. Not forced on them. What they choose to do is entirely up to them.”
“I’m scared, Max.”
“I know. What can I do to help you?”
“You can help me get saved.”
“What?”
“I need to be saved. Maddie thinks that God hears Christian’s more than He does people who aren’t Christian’s, and I want Him to hear every prayer I pray for her.”
“Ian, you can’t get saved for someone else. You have to get saved for yourself. Because you believe that Christ died on the cross for your sins. That He rose from the dead and sits in heaven with His Father now.”
“I do. Mostly. I’ve been thinking I should do this for awhile anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Okay then. All you have to do is tell Jesus that you believe everything I just told you, ask Him to forgive your sins and to be your Savior.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“It sounds too easy.”
“Did you think God would make it tougher?”
“Yeah. If I did what Jesus did, I think I’d want more from someone than that.
“Then I’m glad you’re not God!” Max said with a laugh.
“So, how do I start? Do I have to get on my knees first?”
“Do you want to?”
“Not really.”
“Then don’t. You don’t even have to close your eyes if you don’t want to.”
“I think I want to.” The moment he closed his eyes it felt like his mind went blank. “What do I say again?”
Max had to lead him, step by step, because Ian couldn’t seem to remember any of it. He’d never been so scared in his life.
“That’s it,” Max said when he finished the last part.
“That’s it? You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
“So I’m saved now?”
“Did you mean what you just said?”
“Yes.”
“Then you’re saved, buddy.”
“How come I don’t feel any different?”
“How do you think you should be feeling now?”
“I don’t know. Different”
“There might be fireworks going off in heaven because the angels are rejoicing at your salvation, but I’m afraid that doesn’t always happen down here. You might not feel saved, you just have to know that you are. God‘s word is true, and you did what He said you needed to do. Therefore, you are saved.”
“So what do I do now?”
“Well, you’ve been reading your Bible every day. Now you need to start praying every day. Preferably several times a day. And you should try to be aware of the things you shouldn’t do. For instance, if you drink or smoke or curse, or have issues with anger, you should ask God to help you stop doing those things. It might take awhile because we don’t change overnight. And we certainly can’t change without God’s help.”
“It all sounds so complicated,” Ian sighed, afraid he might fail at this Christian thing.
“It does at first. It might for a long time to come.”
“I’ll probably have a million questions for you.”
“That’s what I’m here for. Anytime, Ian.”
~~~~
“Where did you take off to so fast?” Annie wanted to know when he got home.
“I went to see Max. It’s snowing,” he said, trying to avoid looking directly at her. “I should probably salt the steps so we don’t slip and break something.”
“It’s snowing?” She had always loved the snow, and this was the first of the season. She rushed to the window and pushed the curtains back. “Oh look! They’re the big flakes!”
“Pretty isn’t it?” he asked, sounding distracted. She turned back to him. He was rummaging in the coat closet for a pair of gloves.
“What did you need to see Max about?”
“Just some things. I needed some advice. And I needed to get saved,” he mumbled, clutching a pair of gloves to his chest and heading back toward the garage like he was being chased.
“Ian! Ian, wait! What did you just say?” she asked incredulously.
She thought he was going to ignore her but then he stopped, his shoulders sagging, before turning back to face her. Annie didn’t think she’d ever seen a face quite that red before
“I said I needed to get saved,” he repeated, even quieter than before.
“Wow. Ian, I had no idea you were even considering it,” she said quietly. Obviously he wasn’t comfortable with it for the moment, and she didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it. Even if it was.
“Your mom and I talked about it the other day and- Well, it just seemed like a good idea.”
“Then I’m really glad the two of you talked. Do you want some hot cocoa when you come back in? We’ve even got marshmallows.”
“Uh-” He looked like he expected her to say more or start dancing for joy or something. But she didn’t want him to be anymore uncomfortable. “Yeah. Sure. It shouldn’t take me long.”
“Then I’ll get it started right now.”
“Annie?”
“What?”
“I really don’t need to salt the steps right now.” He leaned against the counter and sighed. “The reason I made the decision today is because your mom called me.”
He explained why she‘d called. About their discussion on fasting when he’d gone to sit with her, about her deciding to try it, and how he, her father and her mother were going to do the fast for two or three weeks.
“Well, count me in,” she told him. “When do we start?”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. She’s my mom. I’ll do anything to support her. Whatever it takes if it might save her life.”
~~~~
Nine days into the protein and water fast and Ian found himself cravin
g hot fudge cake and meatloaf. He’d never wanted any food so bad in his life.
By day twelve, he’d added stroganoff, ham and cheese pizza, and some of Annie’s homemade cinnamon rolls to the list.
“This is certainly the strangest Thanksgiving I’ve ever had,” Paul said on the thirteenth day, as they all sat in the McCann dining room eating turkey, turkey, and more turkey.
“Me, too,” Ian agreed, though he had to admit that Annie had done a superb job on the two birds she’d spent the morning baking.
“You know what I’m really missing?” Annie sighed. “The gravy. Not that dipping the turkey in the broth isn’t good, it’s just not the same. It’s all-drippy.”
“Broth usually is drippy, Sweetheart,” Ian said with a grin, spearing a large bite of breast meat.
“Oh ha-ha. I know it is. That’s why I miss the gravy.”
“Stop complaining everyone. We’ll be finished with the fast in plenty of time for Christmas dinner,” Maddie reminded them, showing a blatant lack of sympathy.
Not that anyone minded. Over the course of the past few days Maddie had shown a remarkable improvement, both in her coloring and her energy levels. Not that those things, in themselves, were indicative that the cancer was going away. The longer she was off the chemo, the better she would feel. At least to a point. If the cancer wasn’t healed, she would start feeling worse again before too much time passed.
Still, it was hard not to hope that the prayers, the water and protein fast, and the regimen of herbs and vitamins were beginning to work. Then there was the fact that her doctors had convinced her to continue with the heat therapy baths twice a week at the clinic.
“So, anyone up for a cutthroat game of Scrabble after we clean the dinner mess up?” Ian asked after a lengthy period of silence. “Or should we not even bother trying to fight the effects of the tryptophan and kick back in the living room for naps first?”
“I thought it was a law that you had to take a nap after eating turkey anyway,” Paul said seriously.
“Only in our house, Dear,” Maddie told him, patting his arm.
“Well, I’m thinking of making it a law in ours, too. Sound like a winner, Annie?”
“Uh-huh. I’m easy to please. Just elbow me in the side if I start snoring.”
“I’ll be too busy dreaming about hot fudge cake and meatloaf.”
Except no one snored or dreamed about anything. Maddie had brought along the notebook she’d been using to plan the Valentine’s Day reception and they spent the afternoon finalizing the plans.
Actually, all the plans but one were finished. So they spent the afternoon arguing amicably over what foods they would serve. The list grew and grew until Annie had to put her foot down.
Just because they couldn’t eat any their favorite things until December sixth didn’t mean that all of it was going to be served at the reception.
And so they settled on meat and cheese trays for sandwiches, several salads, chips, veggie trays, gelatins and, of course, the cake.
The only wrench in the planning came when Ian insisted on having the event catered. The four of them were going to enjoy the evening, not work themselves into exhaustion preparing for it. Not to mention cleaning up afterwards.
“But that’s too expensive,” Annie protested. “It would be-”
“Your mother and I have been saving for your wedding for years,” Paul interrupted. “This isn’t going to be that bad.”
“It won’t, either,” Ian agreed. “Because I’m taking care of it. It was my idea to elope and do this at a later date, therefore it’s my responsibility.”
The argument that followed wasn’t quite as good-natured as the earlier one but, as often happened, Ian managed to do exactly as he’d intended to from the beginning.
Annie was his wife and he was going to be covering all expenses that concerned her from now on.
~~~~
To everyone’s frustration, Maddie flatly refused to go to the clinic for any testing until after Christmas. Even if the cancer was still there, it didn’t matter. The fast had worked a miracle in that she looked and felt better than she had in months. And she had no intention of spoiling another holiday in case the news hadn’t changed.
And so Annie threw herself into baking all manner of holiday cookies and candies, and spending hours helping Ian decorate their house, inside and out.
“My dad never got into this kind of thing too much,” he admitted as they draped greenery on the stairway banister one Saturday afternoon.
“You didn’t decorate much then?”
“We didn’t decorate at all after my mom died. So I always figured when I got married and had my own house, I’d decorate anything that didn’t move,” he told her. They both laughed, because he’d largely succeeded in that goal.
“It does look like a fairyland around here, doesn’t it?”
“Yup.”
“But this should about do it, though. Right?”
“Don’t tell me you’re a scrooge, Annie McCann. I don’t think my poor heart could bear it.”
“Oh no. I love Christmas decorations. But I always keep in mind that old saying. What goes up must come down.”
“I don’t know. We could leave it up year round,” he suggested, sounding half serious.
“Which would be fine if we lived in Frankenmuth. But we live in Lansing. The neighbors would start talking, maybe even report us to the local funny farm and before you know it, we’d be residing in padded rooms and eating institutional food.”
“Okay. You’ve convinced me. I’ll have to take a pass on institutional food. Let’s take it all down now!” he teased.
“How about New Years Day instead?” He appeared to consider her suggestion, then nodded his head slowly.
“That would probably work. But for now, let’s finish this up so I can scrounge up a snack. You just had to mention food again, didn‘t you?”
“I didn’t mention cookies and candy. I was talking about food you hate.”
“Which got me thinking about all the goodies in the kitchen. Get a move on, woman!”
Ian was so much fun to be with, Annie thought for the millionth time. He’d turned what could have been a tedious job into one that sped by quickly because he kept her laughing.
The evening before, he’d convinced her that they really needed to build a snowman in the backyard, which they did, with only the illumination of the small yard light to chase away the darkness. Afterwards they had fudge and popcorn while they watched White Christmas.
This afternoon, after lunch, they were going to go shopping for gifts to donate to a women’s shelter the church helped support, and he was almost more excited over that than he was at being able to eat what he wanted again.
And there were no words to describe how happy Ian was to eat what he wanted again. About all he’d done for the four days since the fast had ended stuff his face. Like a bottomless pit! Annie had teased him that he wasn’t ever going to be able to make up for the three weeks of just meat and water, but it looked like he intended to try anyway.
“There. It’s finished.” They stood on the foyer floor admiring their handiwork. Fresh swags of pine with tiny white beads on clear thread and white lights woven through, all tied every few feet with wide, red velvet bows.
“Very festive,” Annie decided, smiling up at him. Her smile faded at the expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“I think we need to talk,” he said softly.
“About what?”
“Let’s sit down first.”
“Uh-oh. This sounds serious.”
“Come on.” He took her hand and almost dragged her into the living room, pulling her down on the sofa beside him.
He turned to face her but couldn’t quite bring himself to look her in the eye as he rubbed his palms back and forth on his blue jeans.
“Ian? What’s the matter?” she prodded gently, laying a hand on one of his, if for no other reason than to still the movement.
“I’d actually need a little more information than that in order to help you figure it out.”
“It’s about marriage,” he said reluctantly.
“What about it?”
“Well, it’s actually more about divorce.”
Any amusement Annie had felt was gone in that instant. The longer they were married, the less she liked thinking about that word.
“Okay. What’s worrying you?”
“It sounds like God will be a little ticked off if we get divorced. Especially with us both being saved and all.”
“I don’t know about Him being mad, but I know He wouldn’t be too happy about it.”
“Yeah, I know.” He glanced at her, then at the Christmas tree across the room.
“So what do you think you want to do about it?”
He sighed a shaky sigh and finally turned to look at her.
“I like you. A lot.”
“I like you, too, Ian.”
“I- I think I kind of even might be falling in love with you.”
Annie felt tears burn her eyes and she tried to blink them back. Unsuccessfully, because one rolled down her cheek.
“I think I might be having the same problem.”
“Whew. Good.” He laughed nervously. “I’m glad I’m not the only one.”
Now they both seemed to have a difficult time meeting the other’s eyes, though Annie was sure her blush was just as bright as his.
“So- I was thinking that maybe we could like, date from now until the reception. And if we really do figure out that love each other, then when we repeat our vows, we could really be, you know, married then.”
“What if we figure out that we don’t? Love each other, I mean.”
“Then we work at it until we do. God doesn’t want us to get divorced. And I don’t really want us to either. I like being married to you, Annie.”
“I do, too. Like being married to you, I mean.”
“Good.” He reached up and stroked her cheek. “So we’ll date?”
“Yes.”
~~~~
Over the next weeks Annie felt like she was floating on air. She knew that when Ian made up his mind to do something, he was totally committed to it. And he was totally committed to dating his wife.
A Fine Mess Page 14
