by Jason Letts
“I can see why you did it now.”
Startled, I jerked around to find an even more horrifying sight behind me. A young woman who looked exactly like me stood on the frosty grass. From her blonde hair and blue eyes to the gray jacket and jeans, she was identical to me in every way. My mouth gaped open, and I struggled to fit this in next to my overwhelming duress.
“None of us has ever fallen like you have before. The way you blindly threw yourself away, seemingly for nothing, was so remarkable and seemingly incomprehensible that I had to find out why. And now it makes sense, though I still can’t figure out how exactly you did it. How did you get from up here to down there?”
“Who are you?” I gasped. I realized the position I was in made it seem like I was groveling, and so I shifted so at least I was sitting on my side. Something about the condescending glare in my mirror’s eye called me to rise and stand up to her, but I was still so shaken.
Somehow my words surprised this haunting apparition, and she leaned forward and took on a vicious look of delight.
“You must recognize me,” she began. “Don’t tell me you don’t know who we are! No, I don’t believe it.”
“You’re…” I stammered, suddenly feeling embarrassed by my apparent ignorance, but I couldn’t conjure the faintest idea. Maybe this body really was already someone’s before I created it.
“So you really thought that all of the ten trillion universes belonged to you alone? That you were their master and your control was omnipotent? How staggeringly narrow-minded you were to not even conceive that there were other spirits of Infinity who wove the future into the past beside you. What incredible blindness.”
She kneeled down, and her final syllables composed a sweetness of tone I often heard echo through my lips. It was pity that she felt for me, and nothing in her eyes could’ve been more pathetic. I immediately began to resent her for it. Even if she could see it all, she didn’t understand who I was or why I had done what I did.
“My name is Eve, because you can’t spell “forever” without Eve.”
It was clever, and I wish I’d thought of it, but I still couldn’t give her the satisfaction. If she’d taken on my appearance, there was no telling what sinister things she’d been able to do to me.
“You can’t pronounce “evil” without it either,” I said.
She chuckled, inching forward a bit, and I thought she was going to pat me on the head. I was starting to regain control of myself and probably would’ve bitten her if she tried.
“That’s cute, but I suppose you think I would’ve been better off with Apoxy or Sarah. Whatever you want to call yourself, it doesn’t change the fact that you have no idea where you are or how to get out. You’re helpless, human, and that makes you one of my toys. Why did you come here again?” she smiled.
I could already see how she was trying to twist me for her amusement, but I wouldn’t play along. I just glared at her and kept my mouth shut.
“Didn’t it have something to do with this rock?” she asked, shuffling around me and moving toward the gravestone. “Oh yeah, you were looking for the Cammie Wheeler who invented the cure for Huntington’s disease, banking on nothing but hope that you ended up in the right world. Hmm, did you or didn’t you? I seriously have no idea whether you’re in the right place or not.”
I clenched my fist and clomped down on my teeth. Everything Eve did made me hate her more. I finally got to my feet, crossing my arms over my chest and shivering, but she got as close to the ground and the gravestone as she could.
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret. The Cammie who invents the cure that will save Nathan, she’s right here,” Eve said, sticking a finger out and pointing into the grave. Her wry smile mocked me, and I could barely restrain myself from trying to kick her teeth in.
“You sent me here, didn’t you?” I screeched, and she rose to face me, shrugging.
“Whoa, why are you mad about that? I made it so you got where you wanted to go. It’s not my fault things weren’t going to be what you expected when you arrived. Besides, even I’ll admit you have much better reasons to be angry at me.”
I stared into her blue eyes and tried to figure out what she meant. It was so strange looking into them knowing they were mine, because the person I was starting to hate was me.
“What did you do?” I snapped.
Taking offense, Eve ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. She raised her eyebrows, feigning innocence.
“Nothing that bad, really. I just took your place for a few days and attempted to figure out who these people are that you got so close to. Let’s see. First there’s Cammie, who is so desperate to fit in she’s willing to throw away everything she ever was. She looks up to you, and that just made it incredibly easy for me. Judging by the path she’s on now, she has a better chance when she’s finished high school of going to jail rather than college.
“Then there’s poor, lovable Nathan, who has finally accepted that his terminal disease will mean the end before long. He’s willing to live each day like it’s his last though, even if it means blowing off his obligations and generally acting like a shiftless bum. Now that he knows he doesn’t have much to live for, he’ll be perfectly ready when the end finally comes.”
“Tell me you didn’t!” I shouted, taking a strong step forward. She didn’t flinch, only allowing a bit of laughter to sputter through her mouth.
“The thing you have to ask yourself is if you really want to go back there,” she went on, snickering. “They are different people now, and you barely even know them. I’m a lot closer to them than you’ve ever been, especially with Nathan.”
My eyes widened and my mouth went dry. I couldn’t think anymore, couldn’t breathe. All I could feel was a black hole in my gut draining my self-restraint.
“No.” The single word escaped my lips, setting off a firestorm as I burst forward and grabbed Eve by the jacket. She didn’t resist, just keeping her eyes on me so she could catch every expression of my rage as I shook her.
“He’s mine now and you’ll never get him back!”
I tackled Eve, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to the ground. Out of my mind, I straddled her and cocked my fist back, taking one last look at my gloating face before I delivered the blow.
“This is just like when I was beneath him. He had no idea what he was doing.”
My knuckles stung as they cracked against her cheek. I bared my gritted teeth and repeatedly punched her in the face. Blood spilled out of her nose onto her lip. All the while she was wailing, and I struggled to convince myself it was pain until the sound congealed in my mind as unrestrained laughter.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked when I checked my next strike. “There’s nothing you can do to hurt me! I don’t breathe. I don’t feel. I’m so infinitely beyond you that you can’t even hope to touch me.”
I blinked, and in that instant all the damage I’d done to her face vanished. I wanted to hit her again, if only to relieve the throbbing agony in my heart, but it wouldn’t do any good. I took one more look in her cruel face and that’s when I realized why I had become human and she had not. She’s the me who could never feel love.
“You don’t understand, do you, why I did what I did?” I shrieked. “You say that I was so self-absorbed I thought all the universes belonged to me, but you’re so conceited you could never feel the least bit of empathy. I will always put Nathan before me, even if it consumes me entirely, and that’s because I love him!”
Eve shut her mouth, but her eyes were still smiling. Glazed over, she gazed at me, completely absorbed. I’d entranced her somehow, and she kept her sight fixed on me even as she sat up and I got off her. She rose to her feet, never blinking, never flinching, to the point where I felt a flicker of fear bloom within my heart.
“Then what would you give?” she hissed.
“What?” I asked, her dark tone and intense eyes making me afraid of what she might say.
/> “What would you give to help him?”
She inched forward, and I began backing up. I didn’t want to know what horrible things lurked within her mind.
“I don’t know. You said he can’t be helped,” I muttered.
“Don’t be so narrow-minded,” she scoffed. “It seems to me both you and him are in very dire need of help.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, so much pressure in my chest I felt like it would cave in.
“What I’m offering you is a deal,” she suggested, her voice slow and oily. I needed to stand up to her and fight, but I had nothing to defend myself with but my choices.
“No. I refuse. There’s no way I would ever submit myself to be party to one of your schemes.”
“Now don’t be so hasty. You haven’t even heard me out,” she grinned. “There are so many things you need from me, and I could do all of them effortlessly. I could bring you back to that day at the lake when Cammie drowned. You could be there to save her and make sure she lives to produce the cure you desperately need to save Nathan’s life.
“Once you have it in your hands, I’ll bring you back to the Nathan and Cammie in your own world. They’ll even remember everything. Her machine will work better than she could ever possibly imagine, and you’ll be transported right into her closet on this very day.”
“Sounds perfect. What’s the catch?” I glowered.
Eve’s lips curled upward at the tips, and she drew out a moment in which I was forced to wonder what she’d ask for. She was offering me everything I needed, things that were ludicrous to consider, not just impossible to achieve. I couldn’t even imagine what she’d want in return though, and most of that was because as far as I knew I had nothing to give.
“I will do these things for you, but,” she paused, coming disturbingly close to me. The snow collected in her blonde hair and I could see my reflection in her eyes. “You will never get to be with him.”
I tried to hold my face still and mask the surprise rising in my chest. My mind raced to figure out what she was saying. I don’t know what it was about her logic, but something about it didn’t compute in my mind.
“You’re going to bring me to Nathan on this very day with what I need to save his life, but I will never get to be with him?” I asked.
Eve nodded confidently.
“That’s correct.”
I felt my heart rupturing at the thought of giving up Nathan. She was testing what I’d said about putting Nathan’s needs in front of my own, trying to prove I was weak and fragile at the same time. How could she take me to Nathan and prevent me from being with him? I couldn’t understand it, but all I could think was that I would have to use her for what she promised to give and find a way out of what she threatened to take when the time came.
I stared into her eyes as she goaded me, but I couldn’t tell if she wanted me to turn down her proposal or accept it. All it came down to for me was that Nathan got to live the long, healthy life he deserved, and I would have to hope that love could find a way for us to spend it together.
“Yes,” I said, and that smirk marred her face. She titled her head slightly, obliging me. Fingers apart, she held out her hand and gestured for me to take it.
“So be it,” Eve said. “Now take my hand, close your eyes, and hold your breath.”
Wondering if I’d make a mistake but having no other choice, I let my fingers intertwine with hers, which felt just like my two hands meeting. I was loathe to close my eyes, because it seemed like as soon as I would she would find a way to trick me, but I complied with her request and let my tired eyelids drift closed.
I took one final gasp, and suddenly we were gone from that place and journeying across time to the moment when it all went wrong.
Chapter 12
Cam and Garrett were holding hands and sitting on a bench in one of the mall intersections, where people were walking between an American Eagle and a Radio Shack. There was an odd sculpture in the middle shaped like a javelin sailing through a number of rings. While Cam had on her makeup and her tight-fitting street clothes, Garrett looked like he was going in for an interview. He had on dress pants and a dress shirt, and his black hair was combed. Agitated, his heel tapped against the ground as he watched the people passing by.
“Oh, man. That guy would’ve been perfect!” he moaned.
Cammie crossed her arms and shook her head.
“You’re making a big mistake. You don’t have to do this,” she said, and he turned to her.
“Yes, I do. This is how I challenge myself. Once I set my mind on something, I have to do it. That’s just how I am,” he argued. Cam pursed her lips.
“Is this about money?” she asked. “Because there are other ways we can make some money that aren’t so…like this.”
“No, it’s not about money,” Garrett denied. “It’s about the rush you get from making your own rules and doing something real. I don’t want to ever be held back, but I won’t mind either if it helps me get you the things you deserve.”
His answer didn’t seem to make it any better for Cam, but he finished by flaunting a cute smile and putting his arm around her shoulders, and that managed to pacify her for the moment.
“What about the trust fund baby there?” Garrett asked, pointing to a man in slacks and a tie carrying a jacket over one shoulder.
“You’re never going to be able to do it,” Cam concluded, and the glare in Garrett’s hazel eyes made it clear he took that as a challenge.
“Yes, I can! I’ve been practicing on my friend, and he says he can’t even feel it when I put my hand in his pants.”
“That’s not a good sign,” Cam quipped under her breath. Garrett, becoming cross, removed his arm from her shoulder and shifted away from her.
“Well, I would be able to if you actually helped me, Cam,” he said, the hard edge of his tone making her wince. “You said there was a study where people in a mall were notified of the danger of being pick-pocketed and the pick-pocketing actually increased because everybody immediately reached for their wallets as soon as they saw the sign.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to do it!” Cam argued.
“And you said people never suspect someone who doesn’t look the part, and that’s why I’m wearing all these horribly uncomfortable clothes.”
“Look, we were almost mugged. Most people don’t go through that and think, hey maybe I should give that a try.”
“That guy was an idiot. I could do way better than him!” he said.
“But you’re still going to get caught!”
Garrett inhaled deeply and fixed his eyes on Cam and the eye shadow she wore. He almost looked hurt, betrayed from the way his eyebrows scrunched together and his face took on an innocence that had nothing to do with the person underneath.
“Yeah, and what do you care if I get caught?” he asked, putting her on the spot. “Maybe I’ll just mess up on purpose and let the cops haul me off to jail for life so you’d never see me again. Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because it would suck,” Cam answered.
“For you?”
“I wouldn’t like it,” she mumbled, becoming nervous and shying her eyes away. She quickly perked up though, even forcing a smile and putting her hand on his. “Why don’t we just do something else?”
As if she were asking for the world, Garrett hemmed and hawed, his indecision played out in his swaying head and pouting lips. Finally he hit upon something and returned some of Cam’s excitement.
“Ok, I thought of a game we can play. It’s called, you and me in a stall in the women’s bathroom and you’re trying to stop me from making you moan loud enough for other people to hear.”
The smile faded from Cam’s lips and her head hung a little.
“I just don’t think that’s a very good game,” she confessed. Incensed, Garrett threw up his hands.
“I guess you don’t want to do anything, do you?” he snapped.
“Humanity has devised more things
to do than just pick pockets and make out!” she said.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” he grumbled, and Cam leaned away from him against the bench’s armrest and put her face in her hand to think. Garrett crossed his arms and started surveying the potential targets who were criss-crossing the mall.
“You know what I’d really like?” she began, meeting his eyes. “I want you to teach me how to skateboard.”
“Really?” he asked, trying not to let his interest show.
“I’ve always wanted to learn it. Plus you could show off some of your tricks,” she pleaded, but Garrett was still on the fence.
“That means we’d have to go all the way back to my house so I could change out of these clothes and get my board, then come all the way back here to do it. It’s pretty cold today too, and skateboarding when there’s some snow on the ground isn’t all that great,” he explained.
Cam had already gotten to her feet and was ready to go. She reached down to take his hand and pull it up.
“Come on. It’ll be worth it!”
“Are you sure you want to?” he checked. “It’s against the rules. Trespassing, vandalism, there’s no telling what might happen to us if we get caught.”
But Cammie smiled, apparently happy to make the compromise. She took his hand and tugged him away from the bench.
Their fingers intertwined, they strolled down the mall corridor toward the main entrance. At times Cam would notice their reflection in the shop window, and it always made her smile.
When they came to the food court, she was still looking around hoping to catch people checking them out together when she spotted the last person she wanted to see. Nathan was slumped in a chair at one of the tables, and they were about to cross right in front of him.
“Oh my God, it’s my brother!” she groaned, ducking closer to Garrett and keeping her voice low.
“What? Where?” Garrett asked, peeking over the top of her head and scanning the crowd.
“No, keep your eyes down and he might not notice us,” she advised, but it wasn’t going to work out the way she wanted.
