Back in the village, Coyote put up his tipi right next to the one in which the chief’s daughter lived. All night he made a great noise, drumming, rattling, pounding sticks together, howling.
The chief’s daughter heard it. She could not sleep. She told her sister-in-law: “Sister, go over there where they make this noise and make them stop.”
The sister-in-law went to Coyote’s tipi. She told him: “Stop that racket. Don’t you know people are sleeping here?”
“I can’t help it,” said Coyote. “I am making some wonderful new strange things, the kind no one has ever seen. Beautiful and useful things.”
“Why don’t you make these wonderful things during the day, when people are up and awake?”
“These things can be made only during the night.”
The sister-in-law went and told this to the chief’s daughter.
The next morning the chief’s daughter was thinking about this. She was curious. She said: “Sister-in-law, why don’t you go over there and bring this man and the wonderful thing he has made? I want to see what it is.”
The sister-in-law went there. She came back with Coyote. The chief’s daughter asked: “Well, where is the thing you made? I hope it is something worthwhile, worth the great noise you made.”
Then Coyote showed it to her. It was a bead choker made of the White Man’s wonderful colorful glass beads. The chief’s daughter had never seen anything so beautiful. Naturally she wanted to have it. “What do you want for this?” she asked.
“Nothing much, just a kiss, imaputake, kiss me,” said Coyote.
“Really, just one kiss?”
“Yes, just one.”
“Sister-in-law,” the chief’s daughter whispered, “do you think there is any harm in that?”
“No,” the sister-in-law answered. “What harm can there be in just one little kiss? I can’t imagine giving away such a valuable thing just for this.”
So the chief’s daughter gave Coyote a kiss, and he thanked her many times and went off. The chief’s daughter was very happy with what she had gotten and with what she had paid for it.
Now, the next night, Coyote was making a lot of noise again. In her tipi, the chief’s daughter was thinking: “I wonder what this man is making now!” In the morning she said: “Sister-in-law, I can’t wait to see what was made this night. Go over and bring Coyote to me, together with whatever he has made.”
The sister-in-law brought Coyote. “Let me see it,” said the chief’s daughter, “the thing I think you have fashioned last night.” Then Coyote showed it to her. It was an iron kettle for making soup. No one had ever seen the like of it. The chief’s daughter had never seen anything made of iron. It was so much better than cooking in a buffalo’s paunch.
“What do you want for this?” the chief’s daughter asked.
“Oh, well, nothing much. I just want to fondle one of your breasts. Only once and quickly.”
“Sister-in-law, what do you think?” the chief’s daughter whispered.
“Why, what harm can there be in it? This man is foolish to give such things away for almost nothing.”
“All right,” the chief’s daughter told Coyote, “you may do this once, but be quick about it!”
So Coyote fondled her breast a little and went off. “I think this was a very good bargain,” said the sister-in-law.
“I think so, too,” said the chief’s daughter.
That night there was a lot of noise in Coyote’s tipi again. “Sister-in-law, quick,” said the chief’s daughter in the morning, “bring this man over here with whatever he has made.”
The sister-in-law did this. “Well, what is it this time?” asked the chief’s daughter. “I want it already, though I have not yet seen it.”
Coyote showed it to her. It was a bright red wool blanket with black, white, and blue stripes. The chief’s daughter had never seen anything so beautiful or useful. She felt the blanket and marveled at how warm and soft it was. “Well, all right, fondle my other breast and be quick about it,” she told Coyote.
“No,” he said, “what I want for this blanket is to feel one of your buttocks.”
“Sister-in-law, what do you think?”
“Why, what is the harm in that? He already got a kiss. He already fondled a breast. What does a buttock matter?”
“Well, all right, you can do it. Just once. Do it quickly.” Coyote fondled her buttock quickly, thanked her, and went away.
“It wasn’t too much to ask for this blanket,” said the chief’s daughter.
The following night Coyote made a greater noise than in all the previous nights put together.
“Quick, quick,” the chief’s daughter said in the morning, “get Coyote. I am sure he has made something really wonderful this time.”
Coyote came. “Show it to me at once, whatever you have made this time,” the chief’s daughter said. Coyote showed it to her. It was a miloglas, mirror. The chief’s daughter beheld her own face for the first time reflected in a White Man’s miloglas. “This is truly wonderful,” she said, turning her head this way and that, admiring herself. “What do you want for this?”
“Oh, not much, really. Just to look between your legs. Only once.”
“Sister-in-law,” whispered the chief’s daughter, “what do you think?”
“Why, what harm can there be in just a look?”
“All right,” said the chief’s daughter, “you may look, once.” The chief’s daughter spread her legs. “There, be quick, just a glance.”
Coyote looked. He shook his head. “Oh, my, oh, my, too bad, too bad!”
“What is too bad?” asked the chief’s daughter.
“Your winyan-shan is upside down. It has to be remade. It can’t stay like it is. What a pity!”
Coyote thanked the chief’s daughter and went off someplace.
The chief’s daughter wept. “What is the matter?” the sister-in-law asked.
“This man has said that my winyan-shan is upside down. It has to be redone. Who is there who can do this job?”
“Why, the man who made the bead choker, and the kettle, and the blanket, and the wonderful miloglas, of course. Who else?”
“Sister-in-law, you are right. Get Coyote, quickly.”
PART FOUR
THE TROUBLE WITH ROSE HIPS
COYOTE, SKUNK, AND THE BEAVERS
{Wichita}
Coyote was roaming, searching for what he could get. He surprised Skunk, waddling alongside a stream.
“Little Brother,” said Coyote, “I am truly sorry, because I have to kill you. You seem to be a nice fellow, but I need your meat. I and my family, we have to eat. Don’t take it personally.”
“Whoa, wait a moment,” said Skunk, “don’t kill me. If you abstain from making a meal out of me, I’ll show you how you can get many animals much fatter than myself, which are excellent eating.”
“How will you do that?” asked Coyote.
“I know a place where the beavers are having a medicine dance. Beavers are fat and delicious. I will bring them to you one by one. Then we can knock them on the head and kill them. There will be more than enough for you and me and our families.”
“How will you make them come, one by one?” asked Coyote.
“That’s my business,” answered Skunk.
“Well, all right, you seem like an honest fellow, I’ll take a chance on you.”
Skunk went to the place where the beavers were having a medicine dance. They were all medicine men, skilled at doctoring. Skunk went up to the fattest beaver. “Uncle,” he said, “you are a famous healer. I have a brother waiting for me a little way off. He is very sick. He is too sick to come here. Please go with me and see what you can do for him. They tell me that you are the greatest medicine man of them all. Also I will give you many fine horses and other gifts.”
The fat beaver was flattered. Also he was thinking of the gifts that he wanted badly. So he went along. Skunk led the beaver to where Coyote was lying, preten
ding to be sick.
“Which is the spot that is hurting?” asked the beaver.
Skunk turned Coyote over and lifted the tail, exposing the hole beneath it. “This is where it hurts,” Skunk explained.
“Let me have a closer look,” said the beaver. He put his face right up to Coyote’s anus. A cloud of suffocating stench came out of it. “Your brother is indeed very sick,” said the beaver, coughing and sputtering. “I think the only thing to do is make a brand-new anus for your brother. The one he has now is very sick, as you can tell by the smell. It will take some time and will cost you many horses.”
“Is that so?” said Skunk, and knocked the beaver over the head with a heavy war club, killing him instantly.
“The plan is working all right,” said Coyote.
“I’m going for some more beavers,” Skunk told him. Skunk went back to where the beavers were having their dance. Again he picked out the fattest one. “Uncle,” he said, “your relative couldn’t heal my sick brother. I gave him many horses and much buffalo-hump meat, but it was no use. I guess that relative of yours is not as good as you when it comes to healing.”
“You spoke the truth, little nephew,” said the beaver. “Nobody is as good as myself. Lead me to your brother quickly so that I can doctor him.” This beaver was already dreaming of horses and hump meat.
“Where does it hurt?” the beaver asked after they got to the place where Coyote was lying. Again Skunk turned Coyote over and lifted his tail. “It’s his anus,” he said. “It has been ailing for a long time. I’m afraid it can’t be cured.”
“Nonsense,” said the beaver. “There’s not one anus in the whole world that I cannot cure, no matter how sick. Let me have a look.” He peeked closely under the tail and Coyote let out a stupendous fart, which almost choked that beaver to death. Sputtering and holding his nose, he told Skunk: “This is the sickest anus I’ve ever come across. You can tell by the awful smell. Also this nether-hole is all worn out from too much farting. I must make a new anus for your brother.”
“I’m sure you are the right man to do this,” said Skunk, knocking him over the head and killing him.
“We have a very good partnership, little brother,” said Coyote. “I’m sure glad I did not make an end of you.”
“So am I,” said Skunk. “Well, I think I’ll go for some more beavers.
In this way the two of them lured and killed one beaver after another. “I am really glad to have met you,” Skunk told Coyote.
“Likewise,” said Coyote. They divided the meat fairly and went home.
MONSTER SKUNK FARTHING EVERYONE TO DEATH
{Cree}
Monster skunk was killing people and animals in most unpleasant ways. He would break wind against them, or discharge his juice against them, or shit on them. He killed them all one way or another, and then ate them.
A crier ran through the village, shouting: “Save yourselves! Save yourselves, the Monster Skunk is coming. He will fart you to death!”
The people were in a panic, taking their tents down, wrapping up their children, running here and there, not thinking at all, not thinking because they were too afraid to think. Some of the elders said: “We must have a meeting. We must keep our heads.”
They had a meeting. “Who will go and scout?” said one old man. “We need a volunteer to go and tell us from where this monster is coming. Otherwise we might flee to just the spot where he is waiting to kill us.”
The mouse squeaked: “I will go, but somebody must go with me. I won’t go alone.”
So the weasel volunteered to go with the mouse.
“You are small,” said the old man, “but you are brave.”
The mouse and the weasel went together. They came to something very big, big as a hill. “What is this strange thing?” asked the weasel.
“Be quiet,” whispered the mouse. “It is the Monster Skunk’s foot.”
The monster had not noticed them—they were too small. They ran as fast as they could back to their camp, to tell the people Monster Skunk was coming from the east. He was not far away.
Then Bobcat and Coyote, who were the bravest, offered to try to kill the Monster Skunk. “I shall get him by the throat,” said Bobcat.
“I shall get him by the balls and by the buttocks,” vowed Coyote. “I shall get him at the part with which he kills people.”
They painted themselves for war. They sang their death song and made medicine.
In the meantime, the Monster Skunk came walking. He met a person on his path trembling with fear. “What are you afraid of?” Skunk Monster asked this person.
“I am afraid of Monster Skunk when he farts.” Monster Skunk turned around and farted this person high into the sky, and then dropped him to his death.
Monster Skunk walked on and met another man. The man was scared. “What are you scared of?” asked Monster Skunk.
“I am afraid of Monster Skunk when he shits.” Monster Skunk turned around and suffocated the man under a mountain of shit.
Monster Skunk walked on. He met a third person, whose teeth were chattering with fright. “What are you afraid of?” asked Monster Skunk.
“I am afraid of Monster Skunk when he sprays his fluid.” Monster Skunk turned around and drowned him in his fluid.
Monster Skunk went on. A woman saw him. Monster Skunk ran after her. The woman threw her awl case behind her, crying: “Awl case, stand up! Turn into a mighty forest!” And it did, but Monster Skunk farted it out of the way.
A woman threw her whetstone behind her, crying: “Whetstone, become a big mountain, a mountain as slippery as you are. The whetstone turned itself into a slippery mountain, but Monster Skunk farted it away, too.
A woman threw her basket behind her, crying: “Basket, become a thick hedge.” The basket became a thick hedge. Monster Skunk dissolved it with his fluid.
A woman threw her water bag behind her, crying: “Water bag, become a great river.” The water bag turned itself into a big river. The Monster Skunk swallowed it up. He caught up with the woman and farted her to pieces. Then he went on.
A grandmother and her granddaughter saw him coming. “Quick,” said the grandmother, “lie down and play dead.”
The Skunk Monster found them. “I wonder what killed these two?” said the Monster. He turned the old woman over. He saw her vagina. “Ah,” he said, “this is the wound that killed her. It must have been made by a big, flat knife. Let’s see whether she has been dead for a long time.” He stuck two of his fingers into the old woman’s vagina. He smelled them. He said: “This one is already rotting.” He then stuck two fingers into the granddaughter’s vagina and smelled them, saying: “Ah, this one has not been dead for long. This one is still fresh. But it does not matter. Dead is dead, and I don’t eat dead things.” He walked on. This old woman and her granddaughter were lucky.
The Monster Skunk then came to the place where Bobcat and Coyote had hidden themselves to ambush him. As he went by, they jumped out of their hiding places. Bobcat sprang for Monster’s throat and fastened his fangs upon it. Coyote seized Monster Skunk’s buttocks and fastened her teeth upon his balls. So they struggled. They bit and clawed but could not harm Monster Skunk. Coyote was clever. She got hold of a large, round rock. She stuffed it up Monster Skunk’s anus. She stopped him up. His farts could not come out. Nothing could come out. His belly swelled up to a tremendous size until at last Monster Skunk was blown apart by his own farts. The big stink filled the whole country. After it abated, the people held a big feast. Coyote was given the best parts.
COYOTE SELLS A BURRO THAT DEFECATES MONEY
{Lipan Apache}
This story is surprisingly similar to the old German “Esel, Streck Dich” tale.
Coyote found a burro. He came a little off the side of the road with it. He took some of the money and stuck it under the tail of the burro, in the anus. Every time Coyote hit him on the small of the back with a stick, the burro had to let one of the pieces of money drop.
“Oh, I’m here to show you something. This burro defecates nothing but money. Every time I hit him with this stick, nothing but money comes out.” He did it for them and they were surprised.
They wanted to buy the burro, so he sold the burro. He made a good trade and got money and goods for it.
These people went one way and Coyote went another. Then those people hit the burro with sticks. At first a few pieces of money fell out, but soon it was all used up and nothing more came out. Then the burro started to defecate. They saw that he did it the same way as any other burro. These people moved off with their burro.
COYOTE THE CREDULOUS
{Taos}
Coyote went out to hunt. He went to Road-earth and there was Puakauuna (a ratlike animal) sleeping there. Coyote said to him, “Grandchild, you are fat and pretty!” Puakauuna was afraid of Coyote and did not say anything when Coyote spoke to him. Coyote said, “Why don’t you speak?”
And the little Puakauuna said, “Wait! Wait, grandfather, listen to what the people who live way below are saying.”
“What, grandchild?” said Coyote.
“Now, grandfather, I will tell you what they are saying below. They are saying, ‘All who have been urinating and defecating on the road or on top of the stones anywhere in the world are going to die.’ ”
Coyote was scared and said, “It’s too much! Grandchild, you must not tell; just a little while ago I urinated and defecated in the road. You must not tell.” He jumped and ran away. And he never came back there.
American Indian Trickster Tales (Myths and Legends) Page 9
