THE TALKING PENIS
{Gros Ventre}
There was a man who had the power to call buffalo so that they could be hunted. Whenever there was no game, and the people were starving, this powerful man climbed to the top of a hill and sang: “Hi-i-tana Wukatyii.”
Then the buffalo came and could be killed. Then the people had a feast. Nixant was jealous. He also wanted to be able to make buffalo come to him. He asked the powerful man to teach him the song. The man did. He told Nixant: “Don’t use it too often. Use it only once during the hunting months.” Nixant would not listen. He used the song all the time. He wanted to show off. So many buffalo came that they ran all over the camp, trampling over tipis and people.
“Stop singing my song,” the powerful man told Nixant. Nixant would not listen. He kept singing: “Come, buffalo, come to me!”
Nixant’s penis was big. It stood up. It shouted: “Buffalo, do not come, stay away!” The buffalo did not come.
Nixant felt like copulating. He noticed some young women digging wild turnips. He called out to them: “You girls, come over here. I want to dance for you.”
His penis stood up and shouted: “You girls, do not come. He only wants to abuse you! Stay away.” The young women ran off. Nixant was angry and embarrassed.
Nixant sat among a circle of warriors. He boasted of the great deeds he had done.
The penis swelled up and said: “Nixant has not done these things. He is a liar. He never fights.” The penis laughed. Then everybody laughed. Nixant was ashamed.
Again he sang the song: “Come to me, buffalo, come. We don’t want to kill you for food. We want to dance for you.”
The penis shouted: “Oh, you buffalo, don’t believe him. Nixant is lying. He means to kill you. Teach him a lesson!” Then the buffalo came, crowded together, and shit all over Nixant, over his fine beaded war shirt, over his fine leggings, over his moccasins.
“This can’t go on,” said Nixant to his penis. “You shut up or I’ll cut you off!”
The penis laughed. “You’ll never do that. You’re much too fond of copulating.” The penis had a very good laugh. Everybody heard it.
A very ugly woman came to Nixant and said: “I can make your penis stop talking if you copulate with me every day.”
Nixant had a good look at the woman. She was truly ugly. He said: “I’d rather not.”
Nixant went to the powerful man. “Make my penis stop talking,” he begged.
“Even I am not powerful enough to do that,” said the man. “Only the ugly woman can help you. Go to her and do what she wants.”
Nixant went to the ugly woman’s tipi. He went inside. He stayed there for a long time. They did something in there. Nixant was not smiling when he came out of the ugly woman’s tipi. He looked grim, but after that his penis never talked again.
“How did the ugly woman cure you?” a friend asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Nixant.
HAIRY LEGS
{Gros Ventre}
Nixant saw two women getting ready to cross a stream. He felt like having sex with them. But then, he always wants to do it. He decided to play a trick on them. He quickly put on a woman’s dress and let his hair hang loose. He joined the two women. He pretended to be a woman himself. It was already getting dark; that is why he could get away with this. Crossing the stream, they all were hitching up their dresses, way up.
One of the girls said to Nixant: “I never saw a woman who had such hairy legs as you have.”
“Oh,” said Nixant, “it’s just grass stuck to my legs.” He made his voice sound like a woman’s voice.
The light was fading. The other girl asked: “What’s that dangling under your dress?”
“It’s a love root,” said Nixant.
They got to the other bank of the river. They laid down to rest. “This love root of yours,” said one of the girls, “what do you use it for?”
“Oh, it’s good for whatever ails you—aches and pains, a sickness. Even if you’re not sick, it makes you feel good.”
“Do you cook it or eat it raw?” the girls asked.
“No, no, it only works if you stick it up between your legs. Here, let me show you.”
He showed it to them. He did this several times. “You are right,” said the girls. “This root makes one feel good.”
They went to sleep. At dawn, at sunrise, when the girls woke up, they discovered that Nixant had tricked them. They saw his hairy legs. They lifted his dress and saw what his “love root” was. They discovered that the person they had taken for a woman was Nixant. “He’s put one over on us,” they said, “but let’s not complain. If we tell, people will only laugh at us.”
SITCONSKI AND THE BUFFALO SKULL
{Assiniboine}
Sitconski used to walk along the bank of a river. He saw a buffalo skull lying there. Whenever he passed it, he kicked it into the water, but he invariably found it in exactly the same position next time. He wished to find out the reason. Once he burned the skull and pounded it into powder, which he threw away, but the next time he again found the head in the same old place.
“This is queer,” he thought. He burned it up again and lay down to sleep a short distance from the remains. He heard something like a buffalo’s footsteps. Looking about, he could not see anything. He went to sleep once more; again he heard the noise, but could not see anything on looking up. “I must be mad. I’ll sleep and won’t open my eyes until it is nearby.” When the noise approached, he looked up, but saw nothing. The fourth time he heard the sound, he said: “I won’t look anymore.” He did not look. At last he heard snorting and felt something puffing in his face. Looking up, there was an old buffalo, preparing to hook him.
Sitconski fled, pursued by the buffalo, which nearly caught him. Sitconski cried for help. He saw a hard rock and ran toward it. It had a crack, which admitted him and then closed up. The buffalo began to lick the rock with his tongue until it was worn down to a small size. Then Sitconski fled to a stump and sought shelter in its hollow. The buffalo hooked the tree and split it apart.
Sitconski fled; once the tip of the buffalo’s horns just caught him and he yelled. He asked a willow to help him, twisted its trunk into a swing, and swung back and forth, avoiding the buffalo’s horns. Then the buffalo twisted the willow until it broke. Sitconski cried, “Let me go, brother!” and again ran away.
He came to a big lake and plunged in. The buffalo began to lap it up until Sitconski was left high and dry on the mud. He could not run, but only crawled on his hands and feet. The buffalo pursued him. Sitconski said, “I’ll give you tobacco. Let me go.”
“You kicked my skull every time you passed. Hurry up and get me tobacco.”
“What sort of tobacco would you like to have?”
The buffalo told him. Then Sitconski cut some willow bark, made tobacco, and gave it to the buffalo, who lit it by holding it toward the sun. Then he let Sitconski alone.
SHE REFUSED TO HAVE HIM
{Assiniboine}
Sitconski wanted to marry the daughter of a chief, but she refused to have him. He planned a scheme to get back at her. The people had broken camp. He went to the old campsite and found a piece of white robe. Shaking it, he said, “I wish I had the whole robe.” He thus secured a whole robe. He picked up some red cloth and similarly transformed it into a large piece. In the same way he got a weasel skin and an otter-skin headdress. He then tracked the people.
He met one of the chief’s sons, who conducted him to his father’s lodge. The chief’s daughter liked Sitconski in his disguise. “I am going home soon,” said Sitconski. “My people live far away.”
The girl said she would get some wood. Sitconski waited for her. She called out to him, “I’ll go with you.”
He stood still and said, “Get your things and we’ll go together.”
The girl got her dress and ran back to Sitconski, but he was gone. She only found a weasel-skin legging on the ground, which turned into
excrements. The girl returned to camp and told her father how Sitconski had fooled her.
The chief said to the people, “We had better move camp. My daughter is ashamed.”
NI‘HANCAN AND WHIRLWIND WOMAN
{Arapaho}
Among the Arapaho and the Gros Ventre, Nixant
becomesNi‘hancan.
Ni‘hancan was traveling. He met Whirlwind Woman crawling.1 He said, “Get out of my way.” So Whirlwind Woman went away, and the dust spun in a circle. Soon he came to her again. “I do not want you, Whirlwind Woman, go away!” he said. Then she whirled off. Again he came to her and said: “There are some people that I like to have near me, but I do not like you.” So she flew off, but came back in his path along the riverbank.
Ni‘hancan came to her again. Then he began to like her. “I want you for my sweetheart,” he said.
“No,” she answered, “I am not used to remaining in one place. I travel. I would not be the wife for you.”
“You are like me!” said Ni‘hancan. “I am always traveling. Moreover, I have the same faculty as you,” and he began to run, and turn, and spin about, raising the dust and throwing the dirt up into the air with his feet. But Whirlwind Woman refused him. Then he started again, running and spinning, stirring more dust and kicking it higher. Coming back to her he said: “There, I have the same power as you. I can throw the earth just as high!”
Whirlwind Woman started, whirled, caught him, and blew him over the bank, so that he fell headfirst into the water. “I was only joking, I was not intending to do anything to you,” he called.
Whirlwind Woman called back: “Such is my power.” She was already far away.
NI‘HANCAN AND THE RACE FOR WIVES
{Arapaho}
There was a party of young men going on the warpath. One of them carried the buttocks of a woman. While these men were walking, Ni‘hancan came along and joined the party. “Say, young man, let me carry that, so that you may rest yourselves,” said Ni’hancan.
“No, you might stumble and break it. We can’t travel without it, for we brought it with us to use,” said one of the party.
“We are always particular with it and it does not allow anybody else to carry it,” said they.
“Yes! I shall be very careful and walk steadily,” said Ni‘hancan.
So these young men gave him the burden and he carried it. One day, while they were going fast, Ni‘hancan struck his foot against a stick or rock and stumbled, dropping his burden and breaking it in the center into two equal parts. Ni’hancan got a scolding from the party and went off to another direction.
He came to a camp circle. When the women saw him coming, they started to catch him in a race. When they finally caught him, he told them that he was going to the painted tipi in the center, toward the west of the camp circle. “Leave me alone, for I am going over to the tipi that suits me best!” said he to the women. This tipi was beautiful and there was a pipe of peace hung outside of it above the door. Ni‘hancan went in and found a woman all by herself. This woman wanted him to remain as her husband, for there were no men in the camp circle.
Still, Ni‘hancan ran away and went back and reached the young men with whom he had recently journeyed. “When I stumbled and broke it into two parts you men scolded me for it. Now I have come over to tell you that I have found a camp circle consisting entirely of women. Now is your chance to be happy and become husbands. Because you men put the blame on me for breaking that object, and so putting an end to your fun, I came to tell you the truth, that there is not a single man in sight in that camp,” said he.
“Well, then, Ni‘hancan, we will have a race for wives. The one who runs the fastest gets the prettiest,” said the young men.
“All right! That will do, but you must understand that I have already selected a tipi, which stands in the center of the circle and has a pipe of peace hanging over the door. You folks might outrun me and take a liking to that tipi. It belongs to me by right, because I got to this camp circle first,” said he.
“Oh, pshaw! We can’t beat you, for we know that you can run very swift. You can easily get to the tipi that you mentioned first,” said the young men. So they all stood in a row and started. Ni‘hancan was in the race.
Before starting, they agreed that all should slacken their speed to allow Ni‘hancan to get in the lead. Consequently, he was in the lead just after they began the race after the women for wives.
“Oh, say, Ni‘hancan, stop! You are too fast; this is not fair. We think that you ought to bear weights at your ankles and at your wrists, to give us some chance,” said the young men. So these young men went out and searched for stones, which they took and fastened to his ankles and wrists.
Then the young men and Ni‘hancan stood in a row again. Again they started on the race. These young men agreed not to run fast, but to give the chance to Ni’hancan. Ni‘hancan was in the lead again. “Oh, say, stop, Ni’hancan! You are too swift for us. We think that you are giving us a poor chance for the women. Had you not better put a heavier weight on your ankles and wrists?” said the young men.
“All right! You may fasten on the weights if you desire,” said Ni‘hancan.
“Oh, Ni‘hancan is light and very swift, therefore he can surely outrun all of us,” said the young men in earnest voices. So finally they began the race again to the camp, the young men taking the lead, while Ni’hancan stopped and began to untie the stones and rocks.
“Oh, partners, remember my tipi stands in the center and bears the painting outside of a pipe of peace, but you can run for the other places,” said he in a loud voice. The young men, running as fast as they could, did not pay any attention to him.
When the young men had reached the tipis and selected every one, Ni‘hancan came in panting. He went to the painted tipi and peeped in and saw the woman with a man. Ni’hancan told the man in the tipi that he once had been in the tipi but that he had run away. Then the owner of the tipi ordered Ni‘hancan away. He was greatly disappointed and walked away to the east part of the camp and came to a well-tanned tipi, which was owned by an old woman. He went in and found the old woman sitting alone. “Well, grandson, where are you going?” said the old woman.
“Old woman,” said Ni‘hancan, “you have a nice tipi. You have much meat in your big pot. I am not going anywhere.”
So, not getting his first choice for a wife, Ni‘hancan married this old woman.
PART NINE
MAGICAL MASTER RABBIT
LITTLE RABBIT FIGHTS THE SUN
{Ute}
Ta-vwots, the Little Rabbit, was sleeping with his back to the sun. He got burned. His children saw that his back was smoking and cried: “Father, what is happening to your back?”
Little Rabbit woke up with a start. “Children,” he rumbled, “why do you wake me up?”
“Father, your back is covered with sores. It has holes in it,” cried his children.
Then Little Rabbit knew that it was Ta-vi, Sun, who had burned him. He got very angry. “My children,” he said, “I must go and fight Sun.” He left right away.
On his way to fight Sun, Little Rabbit came into a beautiful valley and in its middle stood a cornfield with the ears ready for roasting. Little ‘ Rabbit had never seen corn before. He looked at the ears of corn and saw that they were covered with beautiful, silky hair. He opened one husk and inside found white grains covering the cobs in rows. Then he knew that this was corn and that it was good to eat. He roasted an armful of ears over a fire and ate until his belly was full. Then it occurred to him that the cornfield might belong to somebody and that he had been stealing. So he dug a hole in which to hide himself.
Now, Cin-au-av, the owner of the cornfield, noticed that his corn had been stolen and right away guessed who had been the guilty one. The owner got very angry and cried: “I will kill this thieving Rabbit, I will kill him!” He called all his warriors together and began looking for the thief, but could not find him, because Little Rabbit had gone underground.
At last they found Rabbit’s hole and shot arrows into it. But Little Rabbit blew them back. Cin-au-av’s people were enraged and shot more arrows at Little Rabbit, but with his mighty breath he blew them all back against them.
Then they ran to grab him with their hands, but he nimbly side-stepped them so that they only caught each other’s fists. Then they said: “Let’s dig him out!” And they dug in a frenzy, but Little Rabbit had an escape hole through which he slipped out. From the top of a rock he watched Cin-au-av’s people dig deeper and deeper until they almost vanished from sight. Then Little Rabbit hurled a magic ball, which he always carried with him, at the ground above the diggers. It made the earth cave in on top of them, and they were buried.
Little Rabbit said: “Why did these foolish people get in my way? I am in a killing mood; I am going to fight the Sun. I’ll make an end of anyone trying to stop me!”
Then he saw two men making arrowheads out of hot rocks. He watched them for a while from behind a tree. Then he went up to them, saying: “Let me help you.” He looked at the rocks, which were glowing red-hot, and said: “These rocks will not burn me.”
American Indian Trickster Tales (Myths and Legends) Page 16
