by C. J. Anaya
“What, no sparks?” he asked innocently.
I hated that he was capable of making my body feel something I didn’t want to feel, and I hated that he knew it, like he thought it was inevitable.
“Tie, what are you doing back there?” Victor asked angrily.
“I’m merely trying to convince Hope we would make a magnificent couple back here. Isn’t this cozy, Victor?”
Tie was baiting him. The irreverent sneer on his face made it very clear to me that getting under Victor’s skin was foremost on his mind, and flirting with me was simply a way to accomplish that. I was ticked off he was using me and messing with my emotions. He’d been so sweet before. What exactly was going on with him now?
“Watch yourself, Tie,” Victor said. His words were simple, but the threat was clear enough.
Angie grabbed his attention before Tie could respond.
“Tie,” I whispered, “what are you trying to accomplish here? If you’re trying to prove I have the same powers that you do then what’s with the ridiculous ribbing between you and Victor?”
Tie turned his startled gaze to me.
“So you’re admitting it, huh?”
“I admit nothing. I’m just trying to understand why you and Victor are behaving as if you’re rivals and I’m the prize.”
He gave me a sad smile and ran a finger along the side of my cheek.
“It’s not much of a rivalry when you’ve never been mine, Hope.”
I swallowed hard at that. “I’ve never been anyone’s.”
His face twisted in pain at my response, and then he placed the palm of his hand against my cheek and touched his forehead to mine.
“I can’t tell you how much I wish that were true. At least I might have had a chance. ”
I trembled at this candid yet heartfelt declaration. To consider that he actually wanted me was mind boggling, but he implied that a relationship between us could never be, as if we had already explored that option and the outcome was not in our favor. Yet it appeared that Victor had something to do with that outcome. Some choice concerning my future had been determined without me, and it made absolutely no sense. None of it did, but the pain and heartbreak Tie felt were real enough. It penetrated my core and wrapped itself around my life force, begging me to take the hurt away.
Victor let out a loud laugh at something Angie said, and I ripped myself away from Tie’s caress, grateful for the distraction.
She pulled into the café’s parking lot. There were cars everywhere. It wasn’t unusual for Expresso to be busy, but I was surprised Angie found a place to park.
I let myself out of the PT in a rush. I didn’t feel like waiting around for Tie to open my door for me and risk any more physical contact with him.
Walking into the café’s small waiting area was like visiting an old, comfortable friend.
“Hey, Sandy,” I said waving to a cute little blond waitress who was passing by.
“Hope, I’m so glad you came tonight. I haven’t seen you here in a while.” Sandy adjusted a wobbly plate in her hand. I was feeling a little wobbly myself. “Just grab whatever table you want, and I’ll be there to take your order in a minute.”
I nodded and peeked into the dining area. Almost every booth was taken. I started weaving my way around tables, waitresses, and patrons until I spotted a nice circular booth in the corner. I turned and waved to Angie who was a few tables behind me. She nodded and guided our dates over.
Sitting down quickly, I surveyed the area and noticed that most of the kids from our high school were there. I usually enjoyed the crowded café, but tonight I felt anxious and uneasy, especially after that brief yet emotionally charged conversation with Tie. I noticed Expresso’s band was already set up on the stage. Jackson, the lead guitarist, spotted me and gave me a head nod. I pasted on a fake smiled and nodded in return.
I’d placed myself at one end of the booth, fully believing that Angie would scoot in next to me and momentarily forgetting that she was in matchmaker mode. Victor approached the table and was about to slide in when Tie tapped him on his left shoulder and moved swiftly around his right, sitting down next to me and flashing me a pleased grin.
I couldn’t deny my joy at having him seated next to me, but his actions sparked more discord between him and Victor who gave him a pointed glare. It made me feel like a pawn again. Did Tie truly care for me or was he displaying feigned interest to get a rise out of Victor? He wasn’t even giving me any breathing space. His shoulder and leg were pressed against mine leaving me little room for escape. Sliding away from him would’ve left me spilling out of my seat and onto the floor. I looked around for Angie, hoping she’d save me. I finally spotted her talking to Jackson. Once again, she was going to be no help.
“After all that cuddling in the backseat of Angie’s car I thought I was your date for this evening, Hope. Were you just going to sit there and let Vicky take my spot?” he asked. He played his comments off as teasing and lighthearted, but the tension underlying his words and the way Victor’s jaw clenched made me realize two crucial things.
Tie fully believed that I was meant for Victor, and he didn’t like it one bit.
The government had absolutely nothing to do with why they were here.
His words sparked a memory of warm lips embracing mine. I stood in a grassy forest surrounded by unfamiliar trees and foliage, but the arms that held me close and the hands that stroked the contours of my back were familiar and comforting, demanding and possessive.
As I pulled back and focused in on the man holding me, my heart leaped in my throat. His hair was longer, and his garb was definitely outdated, but there was no mistaking those crystal blue eyes that gazed at me with so much love and affection.
I blinked my eyes and shook my head to dispel the strange images my memory had produced. The table came into focus and the white noise of Expresso assaulted my senses.
“Hope, are you okay?” Tie’s hand grasped my own and gave it a squeeze. His hand was just as warm and comforting as I remembered. The thought startled me, and I ripped away from his touch, clenching my fists on my lap and letting out a shaky breath.
His eyes betrayed the hurt my actions caused, but he brushed it away just as fast as it appeared, replacing it with a blank stare.
I hadn’t meant to be rude and might have apologized if my mind hadn’t been searching for some believable explanation for all of these strange memories assaulting me. When had I kissed Tie? Where? How could I not remember any of this until now, and if Victor was supposed to be a part of my life why didn’t I have any memories of him? Of course, given time, my mind would probably resurface something involving Victor.
It terrified me to think that I might remember more, and that my father might be involved in hiding this other life from me.
“I think Hope would rather sit by me,” Victor said in a barely controlled voice.
“But I want to sit in between both of you handsome devils,” Angie chimed in as she slid into the booth next to Tie and motioned for Victor to sit on her other side. He hesitated for a second, but she gave him a flirtatious wink of encouragement. His face broke out into a silly grin. I had to hide a grin of my own watching him sit down like an obedient puppy.
“Anything good here?” Tie asked. He reached under the table and squeezed my knee. I smacked his hand as hard as I could, and he let out a soft chuckle.
“You’ve still got amazing reflexes,” he mumbled.
I struggled to get my warring emotions under control. Whether I wanted him to touch me or not, this entire situation was spiraling out of control, and I needed answers, not Tie’s distracting advances. Sandy approached our table with a cheerful smile.
“Hello everyone! This looks like a cozy little double date,” she said.
“Oh, it’s definitely getting cozy,” Tie agreed. He placed his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me playfully.
It would’ve been rude to shove his arm away in front of Sandy, so I sat there pretend
ing not to notice. On the inside, I was burning with the need to escape his nicely muscled arm before I started liking it too much.
I could see Victor’s eyes bulging from their sockets. He really needed to start ignoring Tie before he developed an ulcer.
“What’ll ya have, you guys? The usual for you and Angie?”
“Yes, please,” I answered for both of us.
Angie and I never wavered from our intense obsession with cheeseburgers, cheese fries, and Oreo malts.
“And for the good looking new guys?”
“I don’t know what the usual is, but if my date is having it then so am I,” Tie said.
“I guess that goes for me as well,” Victor said. He seemed to be making a half-hearted attempt at enjoying himself.
Sandy nodded and gave Victor a flirtatious wink. He gave her a bashful smile. He didn’t seem to realize how attractive he was. It made me like him more. Sandy moved her attention back to me.
“So, what have you got for us this visit?”
“Huh?” was my dumb response.
“Your song for tonight. Are you entertaining us with something bluesy or maybe a nice up tempo rock song?” she pressed.
Realization came crashing down around me.
“Oh, no. I’m not doing anything tonight. I’ve been a little busy, and I don’t really have anything ready.” I kept my eyes locked on Sandy’s and silently begged her to read the panic in them.
“That’s not true, Hope,” Angie said.
My head flipped around, and I watched her hold up a folded piece of paper.
“What’s that?” asked Victor.
“The song Hope wrote today. At least I think you wrote it today.”
“Where in the world did you get that?” It was the song I’d written in my car before I’d left to see Kirby. The one helping me release all of Tie’s emotions from my system.
“I found it in your pants pocket at the hospital. The lyrics are pretty good. I can’t wait to hear you sing it.”
Her comment was given innocently enough, but her eyes gleamed wickedly, and full comprehension of her intentions for tonight became crystal clear.
That little minx had set me up. She’d found the song and orchestrated this date to Expresso to get me to showcase my singing capabilities in front of our dates.
Oh, we are so having a talk about this.
“I didn’t know you wrote music, Hope,” Tie commented. “You seem to be endowed with several amazing talents.”
My discomfort was growing, as was his infuriating smile.
“Are you going to sing for us tonight?” asked Victor who seemed genuinely interested.
“Not a chance.” My reply came out sharper than I intended. “That song isn’t finished yet, and I haven’t run the music by the band. They’d need a couple of practice runs before getting it right.”
“Oh, come on, Hope. You’ve done a lot of impromptu performances without practicing beforehand, and the band is always able to follow you,” Sandy argued.
“No worries. I made copies of Hope’s song at the hospital and already passed them out to the band. They should be good to go,” Angie said giving me a triumphant grin. Sandy’s eyes lit with happiness.
“I’ll go tell Jackson you’ll be singing next,” she said, jumping up quickly and heading toward the lead guitarist.
I wanted to leap up and run out the door—right after I choked Angie, of course.
This date had been a mistake. Beads of sweat began forming along my hairline. I could hear Tie chuckling softly. I gave him an icy glare and then turned the full force of it onto Angie.
“You are by far the worst best friend I’ve ever had,” I said.
“You’ll thank me later.” She reached across the table and gave me my lyrics.
I ripped them from her hand and did my very best to hold back the biting remarks floating in my head.
There was some tapping on the microphone and a bit of feedback as Jackson cleared his throat.
“Excuse me, everyone. Our next performance will be by one of our most popular musicians tonight. Please give it up for Hope Fairmont.”
The applause started and my pulse skyrocketed. I hadn’t even had time to form an escape plan. I stood up slowly, wishing with all my heart that I was simply having a nightmare. I’d wake up the minute my feet touched the stage.
Of course, that never happened. Within seconds—seconds that felt like hours—I gingerly climbed up the side steps to the small stage, barely avoiding a large wobble due to my treacherous footwear, and placed myself in front of the microphone. For the first time in my life, the mic no longer seemed like an old friend. More like a threatening viper ready to strike.
I looked out at the sea of familiar, smiling faces and felt my muscles unwind slightly. Maybe I could pretend Tie wasn’t present. There were so many friends from school waiting for me to succeed. Tie was just one guy, right?
I looked over at my table and met his gaze. He sat there staring at me, taking in my less than confident appearance. I waited for him to give me another teasing smirk. Instead, he mouthed the words “you can do this” and gave me a supportive nod. I couldn’t help but give him an answering smile, feeling bolstered by his attitude.
It was strange to hear my music being played from behind me.
Jackson’s group and I had spent a good three years getting to know each other’s styles. We knew what worked and what didn’t, but I was always amazed at how quickly they could pick up my music and make it a reality for me.
The base line and percussion gave me a quick adrenaline rush, and I closed my eyes as the first chords to the song washed over me. With the warmth of the spotlight bearing down upon me and the music filling up all the empty spaces within, I forgot about my fears, I forgot about my worries, and I started to sing the song that Tie had given me.
I could hear my voice ringing out true and clear through the monitors.
My confidence grew, and by the time I’d reached the second verse I was completely at ease and in my element. It had to be the best kind of freedom I’d ever experienced. It always felt that way when I sang.
You use words like Maybe now
It keeps me from moving on
When all your emotion’s gone
I locked my eyes with Tie’s, as if they were a life line and my only thing anchoring me to the stage. To my surprise his face was open and vulnerable. Gone was the overconfident smile. There wasn’t even a hint of a teasing expression.
You like to say If a lot
There isn’t one single string
To keep you here next to me
I guess it’s my own fault I can’t stop
You’re so easy to believe
And even when my hope seems to drop
I still want to breathe you in
The chorus was coming again, and my eyes never wavered from
Tie’s. His were also glued to mine, but I got the impression he wanted more than anything to break the strange connection we were experiencing, to be rid of the sadness etched in his face.
If you’re already leaving
Why don’t you get on with it
Just get on with it
Cause I’m already bleeding
Oh please just get on with it
Get on with it
Take me or leave me
Figure it out
If you’re gonna be gone anyhow
Go now
I switched to the bridge with the band easily following me.
My words would beg you to stay
But your words would throw me away
My heart keeps beating while your hearts retreating
and soon I’m losing you
I repeated the chorus one last time. It felt sad to let the moment go and have the song end. Tie wasn’t the easiest person to read, but this song opened a crack in his armor, and I was anxious to understand as much as I could. The more I sang the more I would see, but the song finally ended and the last chords of my music f
aded out into the silence. The applause that followed managed to break the connection I’d shared with Tie. I smiled and took an exaggerated bow.
Tie’s mouth was strained, his body rigid. I wondered at the intense emotions my song had unearthed for him. Whoever this girl had been, she’d certainly put Tie through the ringer.
I stopped short at the thought that it might have been me. Brushing off that troubling idea, I stepped off the stage and made my way over to our booth. Tie’s rigid posture made me nervous. He stared down at the table without really focusing on anything, and I wondered if it had been a mistake to sing his song in front of him.
I sat down close to him and brushed my leg against his. Placing my hand on his arm I chirped, “How’d I do, date?”
He gave me a rueful smile, like he’d decided to concede defeat, but his eyes still contained that awful look of longing. His silence went unnoticed, due to the fact that Angie, Victor, and everyone else in the restaurant were tripping over each other to tell me how much they loved the song. From the corner of my eye I saw him slowly recover himself. His icy façade slipped tightly into place.
“I think there were some Hollywood talent scouts here tonight. When you’re rich and famous don’t forget the little people who dressed you up and gave you gold stilettos,” Angie said. She gave me a satisfied smile and turned her attention to Victor.
I couldn’t help but give Tie a surreptitious glance as I took another bite of my burger. I’d thrown him off balance a bit, but I didn’t feel too guilty about it. I’d been off balance since the moment he’d waltzed into mythology.
“Tell me, Hope, was that song about someone in particular or have you had a lot of practice being dumped?” he asked. I was startled by his abrupt change in demeanor.
First he’s hinting at his interest in me, and now he’s getting nasty with me? What is his deal?
I did my best to hide the anger I felt with this unexpected verbal onslaught.
“You should stop talking, Tie,” Victor said in a tired voice. “No one has the energy to keep up with your tactless commentary.”
