by Elaine May
Why do I even think that?
Do I want to give him this much power over me?
When I go down to my office, Sammy following, I spend all that morning daydreaming about what he did to me the night before. The way he brought me to orgasm so quickly. How he knew just the right way to touch, stroke or flick me. He was amazing.
He felt amazing.
He smelt amazing.
We smelt amazing as both our sexual scents fused together. If I were to sleep with him again there is no doubt in my mind that it would be amazing again. I just don’t know if I could do that to myself because he would become unbearable.
No, there is no could, I will not be doing this to myself. He is the bad guy to my super hero and he needs to be pushed back into his black hole. I can’t let my body’s feelings get in the way, he is a handsome man, he knows what he is doing, but that was all it is. He is bad for me, I deserve better.What a predicament to find myself in. Do I stand my ground or do I do what my body wants and ask for a repeat? I feel pretty pleased with myself at the moment even though it is the last thing I should be thinking.
I had sex.
Amazing sex with the man I am supposed to marry but don’t want to.
I really don’t want to marry him.
I really don’t.
Really.
****
I can’t sleep but hey, what’s new, I haven’t been able to sleep since Charlton came back into my life. I get dressed and make my way to my office with Sammy walking at my side. He is the only male in my life that doesn’t seem to have any hidden agendas. I get down to my office which is just next door to Daddy’s. As soon as I walk through the door I am greeted by a floral smell but the only thing I am interested in is the way Sammy circles himself on to his little bed by the side of my desk. He looks so much at home, he has been coming here since he was a pup and we have our own little routine. I rub the top of his head as I go to take my seat and that’s when I notice them. A big bunch of red roses sits quite happily on my little corner unit by the window.
Charlton. I see a little gift card leaning against the vase and with a deep breath I get up and walk over to it, Sammy doesn’t even move as I walk over to it and pick it up with a shaky hand.
We had sex and it was amazing. I shake my head, trying to forget that detail, I should just pretend that it never happened and then maybe I can get on with this little scenario. I open the card and there it is, he’s not going to forget even if I want to.
Last night was amazing.
I can’t wait to have more and we
have a life time to do it.
Come join me for lunch.
Your Charlton. Xx
Come join me for lunch?
Your Charlton? He’s not my anything.
“Come on, Sammy, we have some butt to kick.” Sammy raises his head as if he’s trying to ask now in just that male way that always winds us women up. Yes, it appears that even dogs have that look down to a T as well as humans.
“Come on, boy.” I tap my thigh and he gets up, his tail wagging back and fro with excitement although his face is anything but.
“Don’t worry Sammy if you’re a good boy I’ll let you wee in his office.” I say and then I stop myself thinking that that would be quite funny, it would knock the smirk right off his handsome face. I open and close the door and once we’re both through I storm through the building until I get to his office. I stop dead though when I see his receptionist, I don’t have a receptionist, why does he have one? I storm right past her and open his door and as soon as I see him my body seems to just take flight and then it comes back down to be replaced by a sombre feeling in the air.
He has that look on his face. The look that just wants to get through all my cracks and infest what I think about him. I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, and no matter how much he gives me that look or how amazing the sex is he won’t change it because I’ll never allow him to. He looks at Sammy with a questioning look and then at me and I just raise my eyebrow at him, just begging him to say something about my beloved boy. Sammy lies down next to my feet, releasing a big huff of air, shame it wasn’t the other end. My dog can stink out the earth. I try to forget my dog as I look at Charlton through my lashes and I can just tell he’s trying to look at my bum.
“Flowers and demands, Charlton?”
“Most women would say thank you.”
“I’m working Charlton you can’t just expect me to drop everything just because you sent me flowers and a demand.”
“I think I can.” A satisfied smirk graces his face and I just want to knock it right off his bloody face.
“I really hate you at the moment.”
“No, you don’t.” He crosses his hands on top of his desk, his desk is even nicer than mine.
“No, really I do. I hate you.” I literally shout the last part and I’m alarmed by the way Sammy’s head raises and he stands up growling at Charlton. Poor Charlton looks alarmed for a moment and he raises his hands in surrender.
“What’s he doing?” He says as Sammy growls a bit more and steps in front of me.
“You’re upsetting his Mummy. He’s defending me.” I say, the sound of my voice coming out so proud. I can tell Charlton forgets what’s going on because he steps around his table and stands a little closer to me, forcing Sammy to growl even more.
“Mummy?” He asks and his eyes keep dropping to my dog as if he’s expecting him at any moment to just pounce on him.
I wish he would, that would give me something to laugh about till the day I die.
“Are you making fun of me and my dog Charl....” I don’t get the chance to finish what I’m saying because it happens in slow motion and I become completely paralyzed. I can’t move even if I wanted to and to be honest I don’t. Charlton watches Sammy step towards him and fear turns into shock and then disgust as the scene plays out before me. I watch, fighting the need to laugh as Sammy walks towards Charlton then cocks his leg against one of his designer legs and wees all over it.
Sammy wees all over Charlton’s leg.
Oh my God it looks so funny as Charlton looks down at his leg with disbelief.
“What the fuck...” He shouts, kicking his leg in the process as Sammy trots back over to me and Charlton starts shaking the material that’s now sticking to his leg.
“What the fuck has your dog just done to me?” He looks so pissed.
Ooops I should be feeling sorry, but I just can’t. This is all too funny and I just want to laugh.
“Defending me.Now goodbye.” I turn away from him, flicking my hair as I go just to annoy him moreand get him looking at my neck as Sammy follows. As soon as I’m in the safety of my own office I close my door and laugh. I laugh so hard it actually hurts and Sammy just goes back to lying on his bed. As soon as I have controlled myself I give Sammy a big cuddle.
“Good boy.” I say before planting a big kiss on his head and giving him one of his favourite doggy treats.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
It feels like Charlton is no longer bothered by me anymore. I feel like I am without a job. Louisa is more grown up than any of us in our year, she is getting boobs and her periods started during the Easter holidays in the middle of year seven. I just have little rose buds growing and I feel so inadequate beside her, I have a big gap between my two front teeth and I feel so out of place. More so when I am forced to see Charlton with girls who are well developed. I watch silently as the boys seem to keep a close watch over us all. but their eyes are always focussed on everyone else, I am a late bloomer and not worthy of their attention.
As soon as I get back to my office I get out my mobile and decide to look online. We are everywhere, spreading like wildfire. Everyone has an opinion about whether we should be together or not and all it does is annoy me. Who are they to say if we will work or not? I already know we won’t, we are too different, have too much history, hence the reason why I want to destroy us before we walk down the aisle. I just hide myse
lf in my office until the end of day. I manage to take Sammy out at lunch and then leave earlier than planned but other than that I am hidden away. The truth of the matter is that I am worried that if I see Charlton I will just laugh as visions of his disgusted face are bound to consume me. I get home and just try to forget all about Charlton Williams. That is, until my mobile rings and his name comes up on the screen. I can’t help but groan as I answer.
“What do you want?” I ask, trying not to hide my displeasure at his timing.
“You owe me a new suit and a date.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, princess, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“I think you are.”
“I don’t. Now put the prettiest knickers you have on so I can take them off you later.”
“You won’t be going anywhere near my knickers again, Mr Williams.” I can hear his laughter come through the line and it takes him far too long to calm himself back down again.
“I love a challenge, princess.”
****
He made me say yes.
I did it just to get him off the line and it worked but now I’m rendering myself an idiot.
I’m going back into the line of fire, willingly. I have to be an idiot.
I am the biggest idiot to put myself in direct contact with the man, but I do it anyway because some part of me wants too.
I want to see what will happen if we go out again.
I said I would go back to his flat with him and now I’m getting into his little boy-toy car, the price of which would probably feed a small country. The roof is down and he has the music blaring and he’s just looking like he’s won the fight. Hell no, there’s still a war coming Mr Williams. I feel my fingers twitching to touch his hand as it grips the steering wheel or the other changes gears. I can see the bones and the veins in his hands and for some crazy reason it looks hot, it looks sexy and I want those fingers inside me again.
Oh dear God.
“Are you thinking about my fingers inside you again?”
“Is this just a big joke to you? This is my life, our lives, and they’re telling us what to do. Don’t you want a say in your own life?”
Please say you do.
Please end this but once the thought enters my head I want to force it away again.
Why’s that?
“Of course I do, but it’s you”
“Me?”
“If it had been anyone else but you then yes, this would be different, but it’s not. You’re the one I want to spend more time with. You’re the one who I’m supposed to marry. You say I should be angry? Well I’m not. I like this, I like all of this.”
“WWWWhat?”
Is he joking around with me right now?
Am I supposed to be taking him seriously?
All thoughts of not wanting to force him away disappear into dust. After everything he did I’m supposed to believe what’s coming out of his mouth?
It’s a very sexy mouth and I get tingles up and down my arm just remembering how those lips worked with mine but it’s just the packaging, that’s all. I can still feel how drunk I am on him though, he’s suddenly an intoxication that there is no cure for. We pull up at a gate and I watch as Charlton pushes a button and his window comes down and then that same long finger that has been inside me slowly pushes numbers on a small screen. Where the hell did that come from?
Don’t think about him in a sexual way. The gate opens up and then he drives through into an underground car park. I watch silently as he gets out of the car and comes to open my door and take my hand.
“Let’s get this over with.” I say to myself and then I find I’m following him as he leads me to the lifts. We get in and he presses a button with that long finger again and the air feels tight with sexual tension. I could just jump him and take what I want and be done with this whole night. I look over at him and I can tell he knows what I’m thinking by the way he keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I feel the lift come to a stop and the doors open and we’re greeted with another front door. He opens the door and I’m greeted by walls that are painted in a beige paint, and large family photos. The floors are covered with dark tiles and it almost looks like a show home, so clean but lived-in. He closes the door behind me and I turn to look at him, big mistake. It’s as if I’m seeing him in a new lightall of a sudden, my chest feels full of something I’ve never felt before.
I want him so much more than I did before.
I want him to touch me again.
I want to feel his lips caress my lips again.
When did this start to happen again?
His eyes are full of lust.
Full of need.
“We’ve had sex once before. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean we should do it again.” I can feel the lie getting stuck in the back of my throat.
“We can’t do this again.” I try to say it as quickly as I can. His head tilts to the side as if he doesn’t believe what I’ve just said, I guess I don’t either if I’m being honest. I can feel my cheeks heat up as he keeps looking at me.
“Why not?”
“Because we shouldn’t add sex to this. It’s complicated enough as it is without adding that to the mix.”
“The mix?” He asks, amused at my choice of words.
“Don’t, please just listen to me and do as I say.”
“Do what?”
“Leave me alone.”
He scowls at me.
“I can’t do that Noelle” He strides towards me and his fingers run through my hair, pulling me towards him. My chest bangs against his and I can feel both our hearts beating along with each other’s. He brushes his lips against mine and then he does it again as if he likes the taste I have to offer his hunger. My eyes flutter closed as he deepens the kiss, static energy comes alive around us as our mouths tango around each other. He’s tasting every inch of my mouth and I do the same to him. Licking, sucking every part of his mouth. I twist my fingers in his shirt, just wanting to rip it off him as he claws at my scalp. We are suddenly so hungry for each other, we can’t get our bodies close enough to each other. He pulls away and takes my hands away from his shirt, holding onto them down by my sides.
“Bedroom now.” He starts to lead me through his flat, it’s large and spacious but the only thing I’m interested in is the way his butt moves as he leads me to his bedroom. It’s just how I would have pictured it, the walls a beige but there’s a massive king-size bed that’s covered in a black duvet and pillows. It looks so comfortable.
“Take off your clothes and get on the bed.”
“So demanding.” I say as I start to undo the buttons of my blouse as he does the same thing with his shirt, showing off a small hint of skin with each button undone. The further he goes I can see the lines and ridges of muscle that coat his tummy like a coat of armour.
“No time to talk, princess, just do as you’re told.” He sounds so serious and with it so sexy that I start to lick my lips. I hear him groan as he looks down at me as I sit at the end of his bed and he starts to work on his trousers. I lie myself back on his bed, my head resting on the softness of his pillows. His trousers and boxers fall to the floor and I get my first proper look at all of him, he’s so big, big and hard as it stands to attention, touching his bellybutton. Wow. I feel light-headed and drunk from the power this man suddenly possesses. He steps towards the end of the bed and takes a grip of both my ankles, pulling them apart before he starts to crawl between them on his knees. He crawls up my body like a jungle cat getting ready to pounce on its prey. He starts on my clit, circling it fast and hard, causing my blood pressure to rise with each movement of his fingers. It feels intense and amazing and I buck into his hand, wanting more. Loving the feel of his fingers on me, touching me, playing with me just to get me to that moment and nothing else.
“You going to come around my fingers, princess?”
“Y...Y..Yes.” I manage to say, as a fire starts t
o erupt from the bottom of my stomach, rushing through my body in uncontrollable waves just as he pinches my clit. My lungs thrash against my ribcage as I try to control my breathing. He rests his forehead against mine as the head of his cock teases at my entrance, just begging to play with me.
“Do you want my cock?”
“Y..Y.Yes.” I cry out as he moves his hips and I peer up into his heavy-lidded gaze. He wraps his arms around me, pulling, and then turns us so I’m lying on top of him. I try to struggle against him.
I don’t want him thinking he can have me so easily,but at this stage what is the point?
He would only have to look in my eyes that are just waiting to be read. I rise above him, my forearms resting on either side of his face and lean over him so my hair can start to tickle his chest.
“Ride me,princess.” He says as I lower myself down his long thick cock, feeling him filling me all the way to the tip of my womb. I feel so full of him as he strokes my legs in slow circles. I slide my wet pussy up and down his length owning every part of him, my core becoming insanely wet for him. His hands start to travel around my bum and then my lower back as he moans with pleasure, his balls slapping against my skin as he forces more of himself inside me with each downward motion I make. He cups both my breasts, his fingers playing with my nipples, pinching and squeezing like I’m his favourite toy. I arch my back, shoving my breasts closer to his waiting hands and I can hear my own breathing became jagged. He feels amazing and I can feel myself getting ready to combust at the seams. His fingers start to lose their rhythm as my body detonates around his cock and I can feel his body tremble as he comes with me. We fall wrapped in each other’s arms and he lays us back against his pillows and I can’t help but like it.
