by Rose, Aubrey
"It's not that," Damien said, her words tearing at his heart. "Please. I need to be able to protect you."
"And I need you to protect yourself," Julia said stiffly. "Be careful. Why don't you go with Kyle?"
"We'll cover more ground this way," Damien said. "I have to go now."
"But—"
"Julia, I have to go."
Julia turned away from him then and walked back to the house. He felt the sting of her anger even as she retreated.
... alone ... abandoned ...
There was nothing he could do for her now. He wanted to run to her, to tell her that she was the most precious and important person in his life, that he would do anything at all to keep her safe, and this was something that needed to be done. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he would never leave her alone. But she was so angry that any words he gave her would be lost.
Instead he turned and shifted, his limbs twisting into wolf form, his body stretching into that of an animal. The scent of one of Mara's trails hit his nose. He would find her. He would protect Julia.
He ran into the forest, blind to everything except the scent of the trail ahead of him.
The territory they had already tracked was well-worn, and Mara's scent was indeed on multiple trails. Damien picked out the strongest, freshest one to follow. He loped through the forest, following the scent at an angle toward the edge of their territory. If she'd gone back to Trax's pack, this direction would make sense.
Kyle and Damien had done plenty of scouting runs to establish the edge of their territory, since Damien needed to learn the contours of the land under his watch. He was able to move quickly through the places he'd already been. This rock, that gully. He urged his body on faster, until he was moving too quickly to remember the layout of the land. He yipped in quick succession as he ran, though, and the echo of his voice off of the trees alerted him to obstacles ahead. Twice he had to dodge fallen branches that had not been there before, but his yips showed him the clear path, the path where there were no echoes.
Then he reached the edge of the territory, and Mara's trail continued past their scouting region. It was slow going in these places that he did not know, but the trail smelled so fresh that his legs often pressed him on too quickly and he fell forward, his feet scrabbling on unknown surfaces. Out here he worried about competing packs, even though there was no scent besides Mara's. The run in with Trax's wolves had showed him that purebred shifters could hide in human form without being detected by anyone who wasn't purebred themselves. He wished that Dee were with him, so that she could tell whether there were others around that he couldn't scent.
He wondered about the sensation of Calling. He was Called to Julia, but it seemed as though part of that—the simple act of sensing her presence—that was something that purebred shifters could do all the time, even with one they were not Called to. He wondered if Julia would be able to have that sense once she learned how to shift.
Mara's scent was strong, and in one spot it branched into multiple directions. Damien knew the trick, knew that it would take him time to figure out which track doubled back and which led forward. He trotted along, nose to the ground, trying not to get too frustrated when the ground dropped out from under his feet and he had to scramble backwards. It was rocky here, with gaps in the forest floor that led down who knows how far into chasms and canyons. Damien had stopped yipping to avoid giving himself away, although if Mara were near she would likely be able to scent him in the general area. The darkness around him was complete without being able to hear anything or sense by landmark the shape of the forest. Each step for him, then, was a step into the unknown.
Then the wind changed for a split second, and the air in front of him resolved into scent so strong it raised the fur on his spine. Mara.
Before he had the time to tense, Mara bowled into him from the side. Damien expected claws to tear down his stomach, but instead she rolled away after knocking him down.
"Got you," she growled, teasing him with her tone.
Damien backed up from the sound, his every sense focused on Mara and when she would move forward again. If she tensed, he would know she meant to jump at him—
"No!" Mara's cry came just a split second before her leap, and Damien shifted his weight back on his hind legs before realizing where he was. In darkness, he felt himself lose his balance and fall backward into empty space.
In a split second he realized his mistake. His paws slipped down rock face too smooth to hold onto. His claws scratched at the dirt in front of him. Damien yipped, frantic to sense his surroundings, to measure the depth of the fall before he hit ground. The rocks around him echoed his yips back everywhere, disorienting him even more. Then the ground fell out from underneath him and his stomach rose into his throat.
The last image that came into his mind before he slipped off of the edge was Julia's face; the last emotion, sorrow. He hadn't told her that he loved her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Julia
Julia fumed as she headed back into the house, not sure if she was more angry at Damien or at herself for letting him go. Katherine met her at the doorway.
"Julia, don't worry. They'll be fine."
Julia pulled on her jacket and grabbed the car keys. Katherine watched her movements without comment until Julia stopped at the front door and turned to look at her.
"Didn't Damien say we should stay here?" Katherine asked.
"No," Julia said matter-of-factly. "He said I wasn't allowed to go with him. But I'm not planning on sitting here worrying." She tugged on one sleeve. She was already worried about Damien. If she stayed in the house she would go insane, she was sure of it.
"Where are you going, then?" Katherine asked.
"The college bookstore," Julia said, deciding right then that it was just the thing to take her mind off of Damien. "I've got to get some books for my classes. Coming with me?"
On the way to the bookstore, Julia inhaled fresh air and tried not to think about Damien going off after Mara.
"So," she asked Katherine, "did you decide on what courses you're going to take?"
"Just botany," Katherine said. She leaned back in the car seat, her arm casually slung outside of the window. "See how I like it."
"It'll take you a while to get a degree at that pace," Julia said, laughing.
"What do I need a degree for?"
Julia turned into the bookstore parking lot and looked over at Katherine, who was being utterly serious.
"Well, to get most jobs you need one," she said.
"Yeah, but we don't need jobs," Katherine said.
"How ... why?"
"Most shifters have plenty of money saved up, just because we never really need it," Katherine said. "I mean, it's useful if you want to interact with humans. But day-to-day living? You don't need anything. We have food and shelter naturally."
"I mean, why do you want to go to college then?" Julia asked.
"To learn things," Katherine said. "Isn't that why you go to college?"
Julia laughed as they walked into the bookstore. She'd assumed that she would have to get a degree to get a job so she could take care of Dee. Now, she realized, she didn't need to. It was a strangely liberating perspective.
"I guess so," she said. "I don't think most people see it that way."
As they browsed the piles of books, searching for Katherine's botany textbook, Julia considered what they'd been talking about. She'd always wanted to go to college and study for her degree, but was that just because that's what everyone expected a smart student to do. Sure, it would be fun to take a bunch of literature classes, but she didn't need to pressure herself to do well or heck, even to graduate. Julia wasn't sure how she felt about that yet.
Ten books piled into her arms later, she was much more confident about her choice. Since she was a kid she'd loved reading books and talking about them. She'd read half of the books on her list already, but the rest looked intriguing. Driving home with Katherin
e, she chatted about her favorite authors and listened to Katherine's story about how she'd learned to read as a pup.
"Do you have to learn how to shift?" Julia asked. "When you're a kid, I mean."
"Sure," Katherine said.
"What's that like?"
Katherine shrugged.
"I don't remember," she said. "It's like learning how to talk. I don't remember it, it just came to me. It's like I've always been doing it."
"It's strange, to think that I used to know how to do that and now I don't," Julia said.
"You had a different life back then," Katherine said. She looked older for a moment, and then snapped back to her young, lively self. "That's the same for all of us."
"I'm just glad you found me," Julia said.
"Damien found you," Katherine corrected. "Well, and Kyle did too, I guess. He's sorry about ... about everything." She looked away, out the window.
"He's told me," Julia said. "I'm just trying to forget it happened." She rubbed the birthmark on the back of her left hand. The small red marks had always looked to her like claw marks. That they meant something to Kyle, and to the rest of Trax's pack, made her self-conscious about the mark whenever she was out in public. What if someone else from that pack came into town and recognized her as a purebred shifter?
"So what's in your botany textbook?" Julia asked, changing the subject.
Katherine quickly brightened up as she flipped through the chapters and listed off all of their names: "Phycology, Mycology, Bryology—that's mosses, I know that—"
"That's a lot of -ologies," Julia said, laughing.
They pulled into Julia's driveway talking about weeds and plants and what the difference was between the two. Julia's arms were full of books as she pushed her way into the front door chattering gaily, but the look on Katherine's face made her turn quickly to see what was going on in the kitchen. Her arms went limp and the books fell to her feet as she stepped forward to where Damien lay limp on the kitchen table, the rest of the pack surrounding him. Blood streaked the table and the floor.
"He's okay," Granny Dee said, quickly coming around the table to take Julia into her arms. Julia couldn't stop staring at Damien. His chest rose and fell shallowly. It reminded her of the wolf that had attacked them, just before he died. And now it was Damien.
Damien.
"Is he— is he—" Julia couldn't make herself say the words.
"He's just got a broken leg," Jordan said, taking out the bandage that he'd been holding between his teeth. "Plus some scrapes and bumps."
"But he's not moving," Julia said, her eyes fixed on Damien's face. His eyes were open. Even when he looked at her, though, she could see something in his eyes. A glow, a spark, even if he could not see the world around him. Now, though, his eyes were blank and expressionless. She could not tear her gaze away.
"It's okay, dear," Dee said, squeezing Julia.
"I gave him a shot to put him under. He was shifting back and forth, trying to get rid of the pain, and it was making things hard for me to set the bone." Jordan looked up at Julia from under dark brows. "Really, it's not as bad as it looks. If it was, I wouldn't have let him shift back into human form."
"What happened?" Katherine asked. "Mara, what happened? He was looking for you."
Julia looked up to see Mara standing back against the wall, her muscled arms wrapped across her chest.
"He fell," she said.
"Fell? How?" Katherine asked.
"He fell," Mara said, turning away.
Katherine strode across the room and spun Mara back, shoving her against the wall. Mara didn't fight back. Her head hit the wall with a loud thump but she did not even raise her hands to keep Katherine away.
"What happened?" Katherine was irate, her chin thrust forward. It was strange to see her, such a slight young woman, facing off against Mara, who was built as strongly as any of the men there. "I swear, if you did this to him—"
"Katherine, don't," Kyle said, coming forward to pull her away from the confrontation.
"He fell," Mara said. "Like I said."
Ignoring the fight, Julia walked forward and knelt next to Damien, taking his hand. His eyes were a hazy yellow, his head bent to one side. She pressed her forehead against his, willing him to be alright. Being close to him made her breathe a bit easier.
"Will he be okay?" she asked softly.
"He'll be up and awake within the hour," Jordan said. "He'll have to keep off of the leg for a few weeks, but that's not too bad."
"Thank you," Julia said.
"We can take him up to your room," Jordan said. "I just needed a clear place to set the bone."
"Thank you," Julia repeated. She followed as Jordan carried Damien up the stairs and lay him in bed. Dee stayed downstairs. Although Mara and Katherine had moved their fight outside, Julia could still hear their angry words floating up through the bedroom window.
"He's not just a wolf," Katherine was saying. "He's the leader of this pack."
"So? He can't defend himself from a little tussle?" Mara asked pointedly.
"You led him outside the territory! Of course he didn't know the terrain!"
"He fell, I brought him back. That's all."
"That's not all—"
Jordan shut the window, and the voices below were cut off.
"I'm sorry," he said to Julia. "I'm sorry this had to happen."
"What's going to happen?" Julia said. "With Mara?"
Jordan shook his head.
"That's for Damien to decide," he said.
"What did he say about her?"
"He agreed with me before. That she'll come around. Or if she won't, that she's free to go as long as he knows she won't open her mouth about you to anyone else. I don't know if he'll trust her as much now, though."
"Do you trust her?"
Jordan scratched his beard with one hand.
"I'm not sure," he said. "At first I thought she just needed some time to get used to the pack. But now ... she seems like more trouble than she's worth. There's a reason wolves don't leave survivors in a fight."
Julia had never heard Jordan speak so coldly.
"It's alright," he continued, putting a comforting hand on Julia's shoulder. "He'll be fine. You should come have something to eat."
"I want to stay here," Julia said.
"Okay. I'm sure he can sense that you're here," Jordan said. He left the room. Julia held Damien's limp hand in hers. She had started being able to read his emotions, but she'd had no idea how capable she was of sensing his presence. The ability to sense undercurrent of Damien's presence when he was around her had apparently grown in her, and now that he was knocked out she felt his absence all too clearly.
She crawled into bed beside him and waited for him to wake up.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Damien
It was strange to wake up blind. The first time Damien had gone to sleep after the fight, he'd been worried. It was the first time he would be going to sleep as a blind man. He worried that he wouldn't wake up, or wouldn't know that he had woken up. What kind of reality is around you when you can't see? He stayed awake for what seemed like forever that night, feeling the pus seep from his eyes, knowing that blackness was all he would ever know again. He slipped into unconsciousness in jags, his breaths coming fitful and harsh until he fell, finally, into slumber.
Sometimes he would catch a scent of pine as he dreamt, and reality felt no more real than the dream when he woke and caught the same scent in the air.
Today when he woke up, Julia was there. He knew because of the smell of violets. He inhaled deeply, then winced as a searing pain shot through his ribs. The fall. Julia.
"Julia?" He reached out with his hands, his balance failing him, still woozy from the sleep and the fall. The fall.
"I'm here," she said, and it was her voice that gave him confidence that he had not died. At the sound of her voice, her presence overwhelmed him, even before she took his hands between hers, the small fingers wrapp
ing around his palm.
"Am I alright?"
"Yes, you just broke a leg," she said. "And you're a bit banged up. You fell quite a way. Mara said it was more than thirty feet. It's lucky—"
"Mara?" Damien interrupted Julia as soon as his brain understood the name.
"Yes. She brought you back."
His attention narrowed.
"Mara? Where is she?"
"Downstairs," Julia said.
Damien tried to remember what had happened. He'd been looking for Mara, yes, and he'd found her. And they'd fought—
"Can you have her come up?" Damien asked. He spoke casually, but his mind was racing. "I want to speak with her."
The pressure of Julia's hands lifted as she rose to go, and Damien shivered.
"Julia?" he said. She stopped midstride.
"Yes?"
"I love you," he said. Damien cast back in his memory. He'd been backing up, and Mara had pressed him back over the ledge. Or had he slipped? He didn't know.
But Mara was still here at the house! She hadn't run away to tell any other pack about Julia, and Julia was safe. That's what mattered. Damien willed himself to calm down.
Mara's step was heavy on the stairs, and Julia and Dee followed her in.
"Damien, this pup has some answering to do," Dee said.
"I won't answer to you," Mara said.
"No, but you'll answer to me." Damien's voice was soft yet stern. The room stilled. Julia shifted her weight nervously, the boards creaking under her feet.
"What do you need me to answer for?" Mara asked.
"For going outside of the territory. For attacking me. To name two."
"I was only playing," Mara said, whining lowly. "I thought Kyle was still after me until you got close enough for me to scent."
"And you still attacked."
"I thought the pack's leader should be able to handle a bit of nip and tag," Mara said, challenge in her voice. "Apparently I was wrong."
"That's all it was?" Damien asked. He inhaled deeply, smelling the scents of the room. It would be better if Julia and Dee were gone, but he could still pinpoint Mara's unique scents. She was being aggressive, even now, a faint whiff of fight in her. And there was something underneath the toughness that was subtler to pick out. He'd been worried about betrayal, and perhaps that was a possibility here, for he smelled fear under her words. Fear that she would be found out?
