“I’ve got something downstairs that I’d like you to help me with,” he said through a yawn. “Are you up for some fun today, Faith?”
As long as you don’t cut me or fuck me in an ungodly way.
“Faith?”
“Yes. I am,” I finally replied.
I pushed myself to a seated position and held out my arms. They were both covered with gauze and so were my legs. My hands went up to my throat, but there was none there to be found. I assumed my hair had saved the back of my neck from getting skewered and keeping my face against the tree had saved the front.
“Go across the hall and wash your face. There’s a new toothbrush in there as well, I’ll be in to shower shortly and we can check your wounds before we get you cleaned up. Today is going to be a big day for you,” he said cheerfully as he got to his feet.
I didn’t hesitate. I walked out of his bedroom, found the door to the bathroom, and walked in. It was prettier and a lot cleaner than I had expected. White tile walls, a white carpet, and a neat array of toiletries sat behind the faucet on the sink.
The new toothbrush he spoke of was sitting in its packaging on the left side of the sink which I quickly ripped open. Daniel didn’t enter the bathroom, instead hovering by the door, until I was done brushing my teeth.
“Wash your face,” he commanded gently.
I rolled my eye since I knew he couldn’t see but did as he requested. When I was done he handed me a small hand towel, then directed me to sit on the toilet until he was done with his morning ritual.
When he turned the water off, he dried his face and came over and crouched down in front of me. I watched him as he meticulously unwrapped my bandages, until they were a small pile on the floor, and examined my cuts.
“Those will heal on their own. Get into the shower, please,” he said, pulling me to my feet.
Up until this point, he had never offered us more than a pot and some rags next to each of us in our rooms—unless we were menstruating. That’s when he would wrap us in cloths and take care of us until the cycles were over. Or maybe he just did it with me; I never knew because I had spent that time in the darkness.
He crossed his arms over his chest impatiently and waited as I undressed. When I was standing there bared to him, he smirked and turned his attention toward the shower faucets.
All it will take is one good push and I could kill him right now. If he doesn’t break his neck he’d at least be knocked out and drown in the water that’s filling the bottom of the bathtub.
I pushed the thought as far away as I could. I wouldn’t be able to survive without him now—it was a harsh fact. Daniel had conditioned me to need him. It was a damning, dismal feeling that would swell inside of me at times.
“Is this okay?” he asked, turning slightly and reaching for my hand. I let him hold it under the hard rush of water which was a bit on the hotter side, but I nodded anyway. I wasn’t going to disagree with him in a place where he could turn my own murderous thoughts against me.
He nodded and turned the lever on the shower until the water started to come out from above instead of below. I waited as he undressed and stepped in, before holding out a hand to help me into the steaming torrent after him.
In all honesty I expected some kind of sexual act of depravity, but after I stepped into the shower, he didn’t touch me again. He busied himself washing his gloriously kept body, then his hair. But it felt wrong to me that he wasn’t forcing me to do something that would hurt me, so I took the matter into my own hands.
“Can I do something for you?” I asked suddenly.
“You can do anything you’d like as long as it doesn’t take too long. We have plans for today,” he replied turning around to face me as he ran the lathered loofah across his chest.
I glanced around the shower trying to find something, anything, that might work for what I wanted to do and my eyes landed on the shampoo bottle he had just used. I bit my lower lip and leaned around him until I was able to get my hands on it.
I cleared my throat as Daniel watched me curiously and wondered why exactly I was planning on doing this to myself. Maybe it was because I felt like I owed him for not forcing himself or inanimate objects into me.
Okay. I’ve got one shot at proving that I’m stronger than he thinks I am, I thought as I turned and put a hand on the wall behind me. I only prayed that I wouldn’t end up slipping somehow and breaking my neck in a foolish attempt to impress him.
My hands shook as I held the bottle tightly, but they seemed to be in perfect sync with my shaking legs. My conviction and will were as strong to do this as they were to keep me alive.
I placed the top of the slim bottle at my opening and glanced at him over my shoulder. His arms were crossed again, but his eyes were watching me hungrily.
“Is this for me?” he asked lustfully.
“Yes,” I whispered as I started to slowly force the bottle inside of me.
It burned horribly and I could feel myself starting to rip slightly on the inside, but I had already started this and I needed to finish it. I didn’t want to show him any signs of weakness, being so close to the day of deliverance.
“Deeper,” he commanded in a thick voice.
I closed my eyes tightly and grunted, but slid the bottle in a bit further. Knowing I couldn’t push it in any deeper than it already was, I began to move it in and out of me hoping for some kind of self-lubrication soon. If my body didn’t begin to react I would have to stop or rip myself to shreds, and I wasn’t planning on the latter.
I felt Daniel’s hands suddenly grip my hips and the warmth of his body as he pushed himself against the bottle. It had to be painful for him because I knew that shit like this made him hard, but he seemed to be fighting through his own pain as he started to thrust his body against me.
I groaned loudly, but not out of pleasure; out of the sheer pain and torment of the situation I had placed myself in. I took my hand away from the bottle, placing it firmly against the wall as Daniel continued to thrust the bottle in and out of me with his body.
After a few minutes, the pain became to be too much to bear when the bottle slid in a little deeper and I reached a hand back to push him away. He laughed in response and gave my ass a firm smack.
“I didn’t know you had it in you. We’ll have to do that again sometime.”
My body fell against the wall as he reached down and slowly pulled the bottle out of me. I didn’t turn to look at it, I could only imagine that there was blood covering the fucking thing, but now that I was having the chance to recover from those minutes of pain, I hoped that what I had done to myself would count as extra credit of some kind. That he wouldn’t put his hands on me in anger or sadism for the rest of my days left with him.
“Wash yourself up, Faith. He said as he slid the glass door aside and stepped out. “I’ll wait for you in my bedroom. There are fresh clothes in there for the both of us. I want you to be dressed up for your first,” he said conversationally.
“My first?” I asked tiredly, as I turned to glance at him.
“You’ll see what I mean,” he said with a devilish smile, wrapping a towel around himself. “And thank you for that. It was a beautiful thing to be apart of.”
I nodded, placing a hand against my face. There was no denying that I was losing my fucking mind at this point, and even less denying that he seemed to be enjoying it the deeper I spiraled into madness.
Chapter Nineteen
He took me into the dining room on the main floor. I didn’t know it even existed since we had eaten in the kitchen, but he said that’s where his guest was waiting for us. I couldn’t help but smile at the boyish excitement in his walk.
It’s nice to see that he can be human at times.
“Give me a moment with her, then I’ll introduce you properly,” he said, a small grin starting to dance across his lips.
As was my usual response these days, I nodded and waited patiently in the doorway of the wondrously decorated room
and clasped my hands together loosely. There were things in this room that were antiques and others that were archaic. It struck me as amusing that someone who was so certain on his path of destruction collected such things of frail beauty.
“Faith,” he called out as my eye quietly inspected the contents of the china cabinet. There were golden goblets inside which sparked my curiosity of their authenticity.
“Faith,” he said again in a sterner tone. I tore my eye away from it when I decided that Daniel would never own anything made of fake gold. It would be like praising a false god of some kind, and he had better things to do with his time.
“Yes?”
“Come here please,” he commanded, holding a hand out.
I raised an eyebrow as I approached him. On the table were a number of sharp things: a letter opener, a small pair of sewing scissors, a spiked pair of brass knuckles, even a sword that was older than anything I had ever seen before.
“Grandmother? This is Faith, the girl I’ve been telling you about,” he said, gently, putting a hand on the older woman’s shoulder. “Faith, this is my grandmother.”
“Hello sweetheart,” she said as she turned slightly in her chair to look up at me. She was a beautiful woman; her face showed age and her eyes shone with wisdom. Her silver hair told me that she had lived a long life, and the lines under her eyes told me that she was tired.
“She’s going to help you,” he said kindly to her. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
His grandmother nodded and smiled up at me. Daniel moved further down the table and took a seat just within arm’s reach of the sharp objects and crossed his arms over his chest.
“My sweet Daniel told me all about you. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she said, a warm smile crossing her aged face.
“He’s told me the same,” I replied as I tried my best to return her smile. Instead, I felt my lips tighten and I almost felt as if I bared my teeth at her.
“Sorry. I’ve had a rough couple of days,” I sighed, turning away for a moment.
“Life is nothing more than a series of hard days, sweetheart. It’s how you handle them that will tell you if you’re built to make it to the end,” she said wisely.
I was irritated at her response, but I also knew where Daniel had gotten his offbeat words of wisdom from. If I was being completely honest with myself, part of my irritation was that I was wondering what exactly I was supposed to help her with. Yes, I had agreed when Daniel told me that I would be doing something today, but I still didn’t know what it was.
“Well, I’m ready to get started,” she said turning her attention to Daniel. “Which one will we use?”
I looked at him curiously as he shook his head at her and nodded toward me. I felt her soft, wrinkled hand as she took one of mine in it and tugged it gently.
“What exactly is supposed to happen right now?” I finally blurted out.
“I’m sick, sweetheart,” she started in a soft tone. “And I’m tired. The doctors say there’s nothing they can do for me anymore, and I don’t have it in me to try to live much longer. I asked Daniel if he would help me transition and he said that if I came over, that you could do it. He said that you’re gentle, which is something a tired old woman like me needs in my last moments.”
My stomach turned. I understood now what my “first” meant. He wanted me to kill his grandmother and she wanted the same thing. Would I be able to do it? Take another life? I didn’t know, but it was clear to see that I had already been robbed of the choice.
“Undress.”
“Oh that’s hardly necessary, Daniel,” his grandmother chided him.
“That dress cost me a great deal of money and I think you’ll look beautiful in it when I cremate you. I don’t want any blood on it,” he said to her, keeping his gaze locked onto me.
“It is rather pretty,” she said absentmindedly, running her hand along the plum chiffon material. “I would like that very much.”
“Faith,” Daniel said, his voice trailing off. He didn’t have to ask me again, he didn’t want to ask me again, and even though I would feel terribly embarrassed being naked in front of his grandmother, I did as my tormentor commanded.
I let the beautiful dress fall from my body onto the floor and stepped out of layered material. Without having to be told, I reached down and picked it up, then handed it to Daniel. His eyes lingered on my nakedness for a few moments, before he finally took the dress and folded it neatly over his arm.
“Grandmother doesn’t like to be kept waiting and I believe she’s waited long enough. Proceed,” he said with a nod.
My body started to shake slightly as I looked at the small assortment of sharp objects. Nothing here would kill her quickly and none of it was designed to, so I had to figure out which would be the best one and attempt to make this as painless as possible.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I said in a soft, shaky tone.
“I said proceed,” Daniel commanded quietly.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I won’t be upset with you. I want this,” his grandmother said kindly.
My lower lip trembled and I swallowed the lump in my throat. This woman had never done anything to me, and now I was put in the position of robbing her of her life. How was that fair? I didn’t want to be a murderer; I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I had done this.
“No. I can’t,” I replied, shaking my head and stepping away from the table. Of all the things I would have to die with soon, being a killer wouldn’t be one of them.
“Leave the room,” Daniel instructed, immediately getting to his feet.
I didn’t hesitate; I turned and ran as quickly from the self-condemned that I had refused to play executioner to as my legs would allow me.
As the door closed behind me, I heard Daniel direct his grandmother to take a deep breath, followed by the sound of her gasping loudly.
It was done now. She was at peace and would be made up in her pretty new dress, while I would have to suffer whatever consequence he deemed best for showing the one thing I had always tried to hide from him.
Weakness.
Chapter Twenty
Daniel didn’t come out of the room the way we went in. It seemed that after he had freed his grandmother from this world, he dressed her and pushed her body out the window. He said he dragged her to the incinerator and threw her in. He said I wasn’t allowed to attend her memorial because I couldn’t show her the same kindness he had shown me in the years I’ve spent in his house.
He told me to go to his room and to wear the light-blue thin dress he had laid out for me. It was enough to let me know that he had been planning to humiliate me by making me undress in front of his grandmother if he thought to put it out after I left the room.
It was his monster coming out to play again, hidden behind the mask of human emotion. I hated the monster, but most of all I hated myself for allowing it to fool me yet again.
I only had two days left of the torment and I didn’t want to end things filled with anger. I would take the next forty-eight hours to find it in myself to forgive him for all of his transgressions and to attempt to soothe the evil in him. That way, when it was finally all over, I would have known that I had done something good in my life; something worth remembering.
Not that anyone would even fucking think to mourn me. After ten years, I would assume everyone would think me dead, and I couldn’t blame them. Who the hell disappears without a trace for ten years? Did anyone bother to look for me at all? Even if it was for a few days, it would make me feel like I was worth something to someone, but I would never know because the only person that would be able to tell me was dancing with his inner devil again.
Daniel didn’t come back into his home until the sun was starting to set. He held an all-day vigil as the body burned in the incinerator, and he did it alone. I felt bad for that, but if the only way I would have been able to be with him then was by killing her, then I would have to find a way to harden myself
toward that feeling that would end up fucking me over anyway.
When he finally did come in and finished chastising me over not being able to murder his terminal grandmother, he sat on the edge of the bed and did something I would never expect.
He dropped his face in his hands and he cried.
I shifted uncomfortably as I stood there waiting for him to tell me to do something, anything that might make him feel slightly better, but the sounds of his anguish were starting to make my eyes water.
Hesitantly I took a few steps toward him and rested a hand on his shoulder. When he didn’t shake me off, I let my arm go around his neck and placed the side of my face against the top of his head. It was a gentle moment shared between two damaged souls that would have been enough for me, until his tears turned to rage.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” he shouted, shoving me roughly away from him.
“I’m sorry,” I said, rubbing my left elbow. “You were crying and I was only trying to comfort you.”
“My tears didn’t require comfort. They weren’t for that old haggard woman who was riddled with cancer. My tears were for myself, that you are still so weak after all this time. Eight days won’t be enough to save you, and I can see myself failing at something I have worked so damn hard for,” he spat at me angrily.
In a swift movement he was on top of me. Holding me down onto the carpet, face hovering inches from mine with the evil that hated me so much prominently shining in his eyes. “I should just fucking kill you now, and get it over with.”
“Yes. You should,” I agreed, raising my face slightly toward his. “If you already know I can’t be saved, there’s no reason in keeping me alive. Do it. Unless you’re a fucking coward.”
A slow, malicious smile started to spread across his face, but I wasn’t afraid. For the first time since Daniel had started his deliverance of me, I wasn’t afraid of him.
“So you’ve finally decided to play the game. Good; that gives me my two days back. I’m going to fucking destroy you Faith, and by the time I’m done, you’ll beg for the mercy you wish I was capable of.”
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