Lexi let out a choked sound. “Logically, I know that. But things have been so bad between them. He wouldn’t have taken that role if—”
“Lexi, stop. You can’t blame her.” She looked so broken. I picked up my phone. “I'll see when I can schedule a flight out there."
"No, I'll be okay. Taylor and Violet are there and so is Jaxon."
"You guys can’t handle this by yourself. This is important. I'll be out there as soon as I can."
She wrapped her small arms around me. "I know and I love you for it."
I tucked her head under mine and squeezed her tight. Lexi was always so strong and in control, it hurt to see her falling apart. "Have you packed yet?"
She stared at me blankly. "I completely forgot."
"You will need clothes. A toothbrush. All that stuff."
Amazingly she started to laugh. "I was just going to walk out like this. Thank goodness you came home. I think I'm losing it, Em."
I helped Lexi pack a bag. Every time she would throw something random in, I would pull it back out and replace it with what she actually needed. It was like watching a toddler try to accomplish something. She walked around in a daze. The only thing I could do was get her packed, call Vi to let her know when her flight would be in, and make sure Lexi actually got on the plane.
My hands rested on her shoulders and I looked at her one last time before sending her through the security line. It was painful seeing my friend, who was always so fearless, this broken. "Are you sure you don't want me to come right now? I can see if they have another seat on this flight."
"I'll be okay, but thank you for helping me get ready. I'll call you when I get there."
"As soon as you land." She nodded, and I pulled her in for one last hug. "Love you, Lexi."
"I love you too, Em."
My bad day was put into perspective pretty damn fast when I walked back into the apartment after dropping her off. I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to shield off the cold feeling that was plaguing my body. It wasn't remotely chilly in the house, but being reminded of how fragile life was had made me feel...off. There were things I needed to finish. I didn’t want to leave this earth with unfinished business.
***
I was picking at my leftover Thai food and attempting to watch a chick flick, but my mind was on Stephen and all of our friends. Lexi should be calling to let me know she was there. As if on cue, my phone rang and I picked it up quickly. Seeing in was Violet, I raised it to my ear quickly.
"Hey. Any news?"
"Jax and I just picked Lexi up from the airport and dropped her off at the hospital. Em, it doesn't look good. I'm freaking out, but I have to be the strong one because Taylor is beating herself up over everything. She hates that he was driving home to see her and I think she's blaming herself for the accident because she was on the phone with him when it happened."
"Oh God, poor Taylor. I talked to her earlier and she sounded awful. I'm waiting for the airlines to get back to me, they could only get me on standby this late, but I’m packed and ready to go. Stephen is your best friend though, how are you holding up?"
"I'm a fucking wreck. If it wasn't for Jax and Harp—” She choked out a sob. “I would be out of my mind."
"What can I do, honey?" I asked, hating the fact that I felt so damn helpless.
"Just get out here as soon as you can. Say a prayer or three for Stephen. He needs all the help he can get right now. Lexi is still mad at Taylor for leaving Stephen, so things are…bad."
I sighed. "I'll be there as soon as I can."
I heard Violet choke back another sob and it wrenched my heart.
"Hi, Em," Jax said softly.
"Hey, Jaxon."
"She's going to be okay. It's been hard on her having to hold it together around the others, so when you show her the least bit of kindness, she falls apart."
"What can I do, Jax?"
He paused before answering, "It's a hard call. Stephen has stabilized, so we won't know until things change one way or the other. I'm trying my best to keep everyone calm. Have you by any chance heard if Mason knows what happened?"
"I haven't talked to him," I paused and took a deep breath. "Do you want me to call him?"
"It would help." I heard a door close and his voice got lower. "Violet really lost it when she had to call Lexi. Taylor lost it at the hospital. I thought they were going to have to sedate her.” I could hear the stress filling his voice. “I'm scared of what's going to happen if either one of them have to tell anyone else. I didn't want to say anything around Vi, but honestly I need help keeping the girls calm."
"Jaxon, how bad is it?"
He took a deep breath. Then another. "Em, that car was destroyed. I don't know how Stephen even made it out alive. He has brain bleeding and swelling, if it doesn't stop soon it's going to kill him. The doctors did say that they think the bleeding has stopped, which is really good news, but they won’t know more until the next CT scan."
"Jax," I said softly. "I’ll be there as soon as I can. And I'll call Mason. God, I don't even know the last time he talked to Stephen. Did you know he was Mason's best man at our wedding?"
"I didn't, but I could see that,” he said softly.
"I'll be out there as soon as I can get a flight out. Do me a favor and make sure someone's with Taylor. Please don’t let her be alone."
"I will, I promise. Gage is here too. He's been great with her. Honestly if he hadn't been here earlier, things would have been a lot worse. She's trying to be strong, but we can all see through it."
I closed my eyes. "We're a family. We take care of each other. Violet called me every day, after I moved into Lexi's house, to check on me. Taylor has always been my rock.” I took a deep calming breath, so I didn’t sob into the phone. “We take care of one another."
"That you do."
"I'll text you with my flight information."
"Be careful, Em."
***
My fingers shook as I brought up Mason's number in my phone. I took a deep breath and sent the call through. It rang three times before he finally picked up. Looking down at the phone I realized it was four thirty in the morning and I still hadn't slept since we found out.
"Emmy?"
"Mase,” I sucked in a breath and held back the lump in my throat. “I need to tell you something. Where are you?"
"In my car on the way to the gym.”
"Pull over,” I said suddenly. I couldn’t tell him while he was driving. Not after everything.
"What?" he asked incredulously.
"Just do it.” My voice sounded shrill.
"Em, you’re freaking me out. What the hell is so important that you had me—"
"Stephen was in a car accident," I paused. "Mase, things aren't good. The doctors aren't sure he's going to make it."
"Oh, God,” he whispered.
"He's in a coma. Lexi's already out there and I'm leaving as soon as I can get out of this fucking city. I have a flight for tonight, but I’m trying to fly on standby. I didn't know if anyone had called you, but…you needed to know."
I heard a choked sob and my heart broke for Mason. Stephen had been his best friend growing up. "Thank you for telling me, Emerald. You don't owe me anything, but I appreciate that you did."
"Mase, he's your best friend."
"I'm going out there too. I just want to give you a heads up. I'll stay away from you, but I have to go."
"It's fine, we can put aside all of our issues for Stephen. Right now he needs family. We’re his family, so we need to be there." This was so much harder than I thought it would be. "Are you good or do you want me to talk to you for a few more minutes?"
"I'm just in shock. I talked to him yesterday and we joked about going golfing the next time we met up." I laughed. None of the boys were good at golf, but they all attempted to play a round at least twice a year.
"It was the last thing I expected when I walked into Lexi's apartment yesterday,” I said softly. “You know
Lexi, but when I walked in and she was sobbing…" I trailed off.
"Is he going to make it, Emmy?"
"Jax said he was stable for now. Stephen's strong."
He paused and I heard him clear his throat. His voice choked up again. "We need to be there."
"Yeah, we do.”
"If I charter a flight, would you fly with me?"
I paused. "What? Mase, that’s expensive as hell? Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive. I owe you an explanation and if we are trapped together on a flight, maybe it'll make me actually give it to you."
I didn't answer. I didn't know how to answer.
"Emmy?"
"Yeah. I'm here. Get the flight and tell me when to be at the airport."
"I'll text you with the details."
The wind at the airport was bitterly cold and the walk from the taxi into the terminal was enough to chill me to the bone. Winter just didn't want to give in to spring this year. I was waiting for the flight attendant or the pilot to come get me from the terminal for the chartered flight. Mason had flown into LaGuardia commercially, but then we were flying out through the private charter. It was amazing how quickly he’d made everything happen.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I turned around Mason hesitated for only a second before sweeping me into a huge hug. My body sank into his, comforting him as much as he was soothing me. He’d always been good at calming me down.
"Have you been waiting long?"
"Just a few minutes. They told me at the front desk that the plane was here, but they were doing last minute flight checks, then they would come get me. Well, us."
"Good. The pilot is actually a friend of mine." I didn't answer. He hadn't known any pilots when we were married, so this was a new acquaintance. It was a stark reminder of how absent from each other's lives we had been. He cleared his throat and flushed before continuing, "Sorry, I know this is going to be difficult. I've missed you, Emmy."
I looked at him. His stormy grey eyes gave nothing away. I used to be able to read him like a book, but now things had changed. He was as closed off and nervous about this whole thing as I was.
"I want to wait until we're in the air, but I have something important I need to tell you." His eyes changed, allowing the worry and fear to slip through. I continued on quickly, "No, nothing about Stephen. I haven't heard anything else. It's something that happened after the divorce, or what I thought was the divorce. Hell, it’s all started running together."
Mason looked past me and reached his hand out to shake someone's hand.
"Hey, Ben."
"Mason."
"I'd like you to meet my wife, Emerald."
I reached out my hand to shake his hand while I shot Mason a withering glare. He shrugged.
"Nice to meet you."
"You never told me you had such a beautiful wife, Mase."
"Sometimes I take it for granted," Mason said, without breaking eye contact with me.
"Well, the plane is ready when you guys are."
"Let's go," Mason said, putting his hand on my lower back.
The plane itself was amazing with a small kitchenette, living area and bedroom with a king sized bed. Six huge leather club chairs flanked the plane on either side. I had flown on private jets for work and vacations, but this little plane was nothing like what I had flown in before. Even though I was an experienced flier, I still hated taking off and landing. My hands gripped the sides of the leather chair until my knuckles turned white and I thought I would be permanently stuck to the plane. Mason frowned and reached over, threading his fingers through mine. I smiled gratefully over at him and clamped my eyes shut as the plane gained speed for takeoff.
"Still hate this part, huh?" As the plane tipped back, I squeezed his hand harder and he chuckled lightly. "There's my answer. Holy hell Em, let up a little bit. The only time I thought you would be squeezing my hand this hard was during labor."
My eyes flew open. I tried to yank my hand back from his, but he held on tight. Hearing those words from his mouth hurt. Confusion covered his handsome face and I knew that I had to tell him. I couldn't put it off any longer.
I was quiet while we gained altitude.
"Mason, when I left, I was pregnant."
His face went from confused to angry.
"What do you mean by was? And why the fuck did you still leave if you were pregnant?"
My eyes dropped and I felt them burn from the tears that threatened to fall. I felt guilty. No matter how many times Lexi and Adam told me it wasn't my fault, I still felt that I could have done more to keep from losing the baby.
"I found out a few months after I came to New York, not before I left. I wouldn’t have done that, but we weren't talking when I did find out and I didn't know how to tell you."
"What do you mean by was, Emerald?" His voice was cold. Distant. "Did you have an abortion?"
I narrowed my eyes at him and finally turned away, unable to look at him while I spoke. "You really don't fucking know me at all do you? Ten years together and you still don't know a damn thing about me." He turned away from me as I spoke. "I was fourteen weeks along when I collapsed in my office. Luke found me and called 911. Lexi called a specialist to come and take care of me. Adam saved my life.” My voice rose each time I mentioned someone else who cared for me and was actually there during that miserable day. “The pregnancy was ectopic and there was nothing anyone could do. I had to have emergency surgery and they removed my fallopian tube. Adam also found out that I have a cervical abnormality that should have kept me from getting pregnant in the first place, so it's doubtful that I will ever be able have kids unless I do IVF."
I didn't dare look at Mason as I talked. I swiped angrily at the tears streaming down my face as I told him as clinically as possible everything that had happened. Mason would probably blame me as much as I blamed myself. He would probably think it was karmic justice because I’d decided to take the job in New York and ended our marriage. I did.
Ben, the pilot, who my husband was now friends with even though he hadn’t known him while we were married, came over the intercom to tell us we were at flying altitude and we could move around the cabin. This was all too much. I unclipped my belt and ran away just as Mason opened his mouth to speak. I flew from my seat to the bedroom, slamming the door and locking it behind me.
***
Mason knocked on the door an hour later. Honestly, I was surprised he had waited as long as he did. He’d never been particularly patient.
"Em, baby, please open the door." I wasn’t sure if I wanted to face him yet. I walked over to the door, resting my hand on the knob. He knocked again softer this time. "Please, Emerald. I'm so sorry."
I cracked open the door. "Why are you sorry?"
"Because I'm the biggest asshole on the planet."
I opened the door all the way. Mason stood in front of me with red eyes like he had been crying. I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to make this conversation any harder than it had to be.
"I can't believe that you thought I would have an abortion," I whispered.
"I know you wouldn't. I'm sorry. I was just...angry. Angry that you didn’t tell me when it happened. Angry that you had to go through that without me. Furious at myself for fucking up our relationship."
I rested my head on the door. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you I was pregnant, but I didn’t know how. I’d only found out about a week before everything happened. It was so hard since we weren't even speaking to each other. I couldn't just call you up and say, 'Hey guess what, that last time we had sex I got knocked up'."
He wiped at his eyes and I couldn't tell if he was upset or stressed out. It was probably a mix of both. "Just so you know, I would have wanted that baby, Emmy. One of the reasons I pushed so hard for us to get married was because I wanted us to start a family."
My chest ached. This conversation wasn’t making things better; if anything it was breaking my heart even more.
"Why
didn't you tell me that you wanted to start trying?"
He shrugged. "I was scared."
I reached for his hand and tugged him over to the bed. We perched on the edge and sat next to one another, unsure of what to say next. His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back.
“That makes two of us.” My voice was hoarse and I fought back tears as we sat their quietly.
"I never wanted the divorce," he admitted.
I looked over at him in shock. "What?"
"I didn't want the divorce. I thought that if I threatened you with it, you would stay. When I took over the law office from my dad, I thought you might end up working with me. It killed me when I realize you didn’t actually want to. Stubborn pride was the reason I didn't back down on the divorce. I hoped when we slept together after we signed the papers that you would change your mind and stay. I was so pissed off and hurt when you left that I couldn't bring myself to file. Every day I would look down at those papers in my desk drawer and the hurt would come flooding back."
"You had to have known I would find out."
"I thought you would a lot sooner than you actually did. It was dumb luck that those other papers showed up at your dad's house when they did. When I finally realized you still didn't know, I was trying to figure out how to tell you, but before I could come up with a plan, you showed up at Kale's bar." I cringed. "No, I deserved it. You were right to call me out. I'm just sorry that I didn't say anything sooner."
"There was a reporter that started to run an article on me and my job, but they called to ask me how it was living away from my husband while working such a demanding job. I called Sidney and she checked the dockets to see what was going on."
Mason laughed softly. "At least it was my cousin who found my fuck up. Technically."
I chuckled. Mason was right, if anyone had to find it, at least it was Sidney.
"Where do we go from here?" I asked.
"I don't know, but I'm exhausted.”
“I haven’t slept since—” I cut off quickly, realizing that I couldn’t say anything about my dream. I could feel the flush rising up my cheeks. Mason gave me a funny look. “This bed is really comfortable. I'll go in the front if you want to nap. I can curl up in the chairs a lot easier than you can."
Flawless: A Relentless Series Novel (The Relentless Series Book 4) Page 6
