While moving through the woods, pushing out my senses to scan the area, I thought more about what Nox and Uri had said. They’d brought Phoenix into this. They did that all the time. And yet I was sure, despite their unhelpful crypticness, that they actually did want Lilith defeated.
So why are they trying to turn me back in Phoenix’s direction? After all he has done. Knowing he can so easily end me?
Maybe because he hasn’t.
When Phoenix had broken into the Academy and we found him, he’d seemed almost relieved. Like he had been waiting for us. And down in the tunnel – he definitely sensed me and still, he’d fed us the information that helped us save that other child. Not to mention my dreams. Was there another reason, apart from taunting me, that he’d entered my dreamscape?
Yes, he did take the other child away that night in the tunnel, but did he have a choice? With Olivier watching over him, could he have really done anything else at that time that wouldn’t result in the boy being harmed?
The thoughts swirled in my mind but I kept coming back to the same thing – the look in his eyes. He’d looked right at me as he let go of a burst of his own emotion. It had felt so real, so haunting.
He couldn’t have faked that.
He’d come looking for me tomorrow night. He had my mother. He knew I’d do whatever I was asked. Lilith would know that, too. They must be laughing.
If you leave as much as a window open I’ll find you before then.
I stopped dead.
Even the animals rustling in the nearby bushes stilled, the birds’ chirps faded away. I had thought he was winding me up.
I’d been keeping my barriers up so high since arriving in New York, both because of my efforts to grow stronger and also to keep my defences at the ready. Plus, I’d been within Academy walls and their shields almost the entire time. Had Phoenix been trying then, but unable to get to me?
‘Oh, my God,’ I said to myself, remembering my dreams … We need to talk.
He had been trying to reach out this whole time and I had only shut him out.
Stupid!
Right there and then – refusing to let another moment go by with all those children locked up and at Lilith’s mercy – I decided to do something I was sure I’d live to regret.
A few hours later, I was running through my workout movements on the patch of grass between the house and the river, when Lincoln emerged and slumped into one of the large rocking chairs, still half-asleep. He was wearing grey cotton sweat pants and a white T-shirt, his hair was all messy and I could tell just by looking he was still bed-warm.
Breathe.
I almost fell over when he leaned back to stretch his arms over the back of the chair, exposing more than a touch of bare skin at his waistband. There was no denying all of our recent time together was affecting me.
Breathe!
I turned my back on him. ‘There’s coffee on the table inside,’ I said, oh-so-casual.
I heard the rocking chair creak, the door swing open and then again when he returned. ‘Thanks,’ he said.
I shrugged, still moving through some strength exercises.
‘Want some company?’ he asked, coming down the stairs.
Well, there’s a loaded question.
I looked at him quickly, so as not to stare. He looked gorgeous and mostly because he was relaxed instead of tense with overthinking everything. Just him.
We ran through a few drills, mostly just for something to do. Neither one of us suggested we spar. We both knew that wasn’t a great idea right now. Playing with fire and all.
Finally, we settled down on the verandah. As each of us claimed a rocking chair I thought to myself, This will always be my rocking chair and that one will always be his. As if we might spend a version of forever here, together.
‘We need to talk about Phoenix,’ I said, killing any kind of peace that had settled. Because despite my earlier thoughts – it didn’t mean we shouldn’t be prepared.
Lincoln’s expression shut down and he took a sip of his freshly made coffee.
Okay, I’ll start.
‘There are kids involved, Linc, and we can’t keep ignoring that the only reason you haven’t returned him is because of me. I saw you fighting him at the Academy. You were merely fending him off.’
Lincoln raised an eyebrow at me.
‘It’s true,’ I said.
He stared into his mug.
‘Look, we don’t even know if returning Phoenix would mean killing me. I could survive …’ I said, even though we both knew that was unlikely. I had no control over my powers when Phoenix chose to reinstate the wounds that Onyx had given me that night at Hades and Lincoln’s healing powers were simply not strong enough on their own.
Lincoln was silent and I thought he wasn’t going to answer so I opened my mouth to start argument number two, but he beat me to it.
‘I can’t do it,’ he said. ‘I know that you want me to step up to this, but I can’t. I won’t.’
My heart tightened at his words. They were enticingly dangerous. But we were Grigori and that meant other things came before us.
‘Okay,’ I said, the word sticking in my throat. ‘Under one condition.’
‘Which is?’
‘You’ll never put me before an innocent life. If it comes down to a choice, and Phoenix is a danger to others, you need to promise me you won’t hesitate.’ I looked at him, forcing his gaze up until it met mine. ‘Promise.’
His shoulders dropped, deflated as he said, ‘Jesus, Vi. Jesus.’ He sighed. ‘Okay.’
After arguing for over an hour, I managed to talk Lincoln into letting me call Steph on the disposable phone. I didn’t mention I’d already given it a go earlier.
‘One minute and I’ll be timing you,’ he said.
The argument and his bossiness on the subject had put me into a stubborn mood, so I turned my back to him as I dialled. Steph, Salvatore, Dapper and Onyx were still on their crusade and time between talks for Steph and me had been the longest we’d ever gone since first becoming friends. I waited nervously and almost jumped for joy when I heard her answer the phone with a cautious, ‘Hello?’
‘Steph!’ I yelled in my excitement. ‘It’s me!’
‘Vi!’ she squealed back. ‘Oh my God, we’ve been so worried. Griffin filled us in. Where are you?’
‘I can’t … I have to be really careful what I say in case your phones are being tapped. And I only have a minute to talk before Lincoln hangs up,’ I said.
‘Sounds like trouble in paradise.’
‘How are you guys?’ I asked, quickly, wanting to know as much as possible.
Steph didn’t delay. ‘Okay. Salvatore has been amazing. He barely sleeps, patrolling all the time. But he saved us big-time in Cairo when a couple of exiles spotted Onyx and recognised him. Apparently he’s pissed off people and exiles all around the world.’
‘No big surprise,’ I said. ‘Is he behaving otherwise?’
‘Amazingly, yes. He’s even used a few old connections to get us around and it looks like he found a source for the twelfth earthly ingredient for the Qeres. We go looking for it tomorrow and if we find it, we’ll be heading in your direction by tomorrow night.’
‘That’s great!’
‘I heard about your testing and for the record, Josephine is an evil bitch. When I get there I plan on having ugly words with her and her damn Assembly!’
I swallowed hard at the memory. ‘It’s okay. I don’t care,’ I said, then added quickly, ‘How’s Dapper?’
‘Same as always. He’s led us to all of the other ingredients. He is seriously connected and most people are scared shitless of him as well. They drop to their knees and all but hand over their first-born to him. I’m not sure if they worship him or fear him.’
Hmm.
‘Oh,’ Steph continued, ‘Griffin said if I spoke to you to tell you your dad’s doing fine. He’s up and talking and confirmed that Evelyn had been waiting for Lilith to make her move
.’
Lincoln tapped my shoulder, pointing to his watch.
‘Damn. Steph, I have to go. Did Dapper have any success figuring out what the thirteenth ingredient is?’ I asked quickly, even as I felt a tug on my memory. I couldn’t fight the feeling that I was missing something here.
‘Yeah, but I don’t know anything about it. He’s being very secretive, says he needs to talk to some elder first, but that it’s definitely from the angel realm. Something to do with life-force, I don’t know.’
Lincoln tapped me again.
‘I miss you,’ I told her, glum.
‘I miss you too, babe. I’ll see you soon so please don’t get dead before I get there. I bought you a T-shirt with a bling pyramid on it!’
Still feeling sad from my conversation with Steph, I moved back out to the rocking chair, selecting my one and leaving Lincoln’s free.
Lincoln disappeared for a while and returned with two instant coffees.
Not perfect, but caffeine is caffeine.
We sipped in comfortable silence. If felt normal and I pretended for a while that we were just ordinary people, even boyfriend and girlfriend, away for the weekend, enjoying each other’s company. Lincoln must have been thinking the same thing, or just sensed my feeling, because he jumped into small talk and we bantered back and forth while munching on a packet of Oreos.
Finally, our make-believe chat ended when Lincoln asked, ‘Have you had any thoughts about next year? Do you think you’ll try for university?’
I lifted a shoulder.
‘I know you had to give up your place on the Fenton course. I’m sorry, Vi. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I know a few people who could probably help get you a place there next year if you’d like.’
There was a time when I definitely would like. But I shook my head. ‘Thanks, but don’t bother. Even if we make it through this, there’ll always be something.’
‘That’s not true. You don’t have to give up on your dreams just because you’re Grigori.’
We were silent again for a while. Lincoln checked his watch and I could tell he was thinking he should patrol again soon. I knew I should tell him what I’d done, about my crazy, impulsive act out in the woods earlier, but when I opened my mouth, something completely different came out.
‘I don’t love him,’ I blurted.
I heard Lincoln’s breath catch. But then he relaxed back into his chair. ‘Did you?’
I swallowed, nervous now. Why had I opened this floodgate? ‘I I cared about him. I think I saw a side to him that no one else got to see and I don’t think it was all fake. There is good in him and even for all the bad I know he cared.’
‘Not exactly an answer, Vi.’
‘No. I know.’ I sighed. ‘I was so mad at you and I wanted to stop loving you, I wanted to love him. I was confused and angry and about to jump off a really big cliff. You had just told me that we could never be together and …’
‘And?’
‘And he made it better.’ The confession stung. ‘He made the pain go away, replaced it with other things. I think I became kind of addicted to him, to his abilities. But,’ I looked at Lincoln now, letting out the vulnerability I always tried to keep hidden. He needed to see the truth. ‘The answer is no. And I’m sorry for everything that happened. I’m sorry to you and I’m sorry to him, too.’
Lincoln studied my eyes, gazing at me with nothing short of admiration – which I knew I didn’t deserve – and possibly more.
‘Violet Eden, you have nothing to apologise for,’ he said.
I felt his presence only a split second before he spoke.
‘Speak for yourself,’ Phoenix said, stepping out from the nearby tree-line, hands in his pockets. ‘I’d rather like to have that apology.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
‘For the son of man has come to save that which was lost.’
Matthew 18:11
Everything happened so fast.
Lincoln leaped up from his rocking chair and over the railing of the verandah, landing on the lawn in front of Phoenix, who moved into striking zone with the speed of wind.
Phoenix grinned wickedly at Lincoln, his hatred on show. ‘No dagger.’ He made a tsk’ing sound. ‘Sloppy.’
I was on the lawn by then, too, and stepped up beside Lincoln. ‘But I have mine,’ I said.
Phoenix didn’t take his attention off Lincoln, the two of them circling each other.
‘I’d be lying if I said I haven’t dreamed of this moment – taking you down once and for all,’ Phoenix said, tauntingly, moving in short gusts of wind.
Lincoln tracked him, keeping up. ‘Funny. You don’t seem to make it into my dreams.’
‘That’s because you’re busy dreaming of things I’ve already had,’ Phoenix said, gesturing to me but not taking his eyes off Lincoln.
‘Stop it,’ I warned him.
Phoenix smiled at Lincoln. ‘Just wake up, did we?’
‘Violet, go inside,’ Lincoln ordered.
He did not just say that.
‘You heard him, lover. He obviously has a lot of pent-up frustration.’ Phoenix’s smile broadened. ‘Understandably. Best to let him try. You should run along while he gets a beating for his efforts.’
My eyes narrowed in on the two of them but as I did, I pushed out my senses, scanning the area as far as I could. There were no other exiles nearby.
Phoenix darted me a look before returning to Lincoln. The hate fuming between the two of them was dense in the night air.
Shit.
‘I invited him!’ I blurted, regretting that I hadn’t made it a priority to tell Lincoln what I’d done earlier. The truth was I’d expected Phoenix to show up either instantly or not at all. When he hadn’t, I’d started to wonder if I’d been wrong about his intentions.
At this revelation, Lincoln looked at me with disbelief. ‘You brought him here?’
I bit my lip.
Using Lincoln’s distraction, Phoenix launched himself onto his nemesis, bringing him down to the ground, ramming a fist into his jaw. I was fairly certain I heard something crack. Lincoln responded in kind – the impact of his own closed fist across Phoenix’s jaw stunning him enough for Lincoln to throw Phoenix off him and into the air.
Phoenix landed on his feet, feline-like.
But before Phoenix made it back into the striking zone and Lincoln was up and ready again, I leaped between them.
‘Move,’ Lincoln snapped at me.
I ignored him and faced Phoenix. I knew who the real threat was.
‘Lover,’ Phoenix said, dabbing a finger at the cut on his lip, showing how hard Lincoln’s hit had been; drawing blood from an exile was never easy. ‘Be patient. This will only take a moment and then you and I will have all the time in the world for …’ he glanced at Lincoln, ‘other things.’
‘Shut up, Phoenix. God, I’m so sick of hearing you call me “lover”. You asked me for help. I know you did. I let down my shields, I showed you the way to us because, as crazy as it is, I think you might actually want to stop Lilith from hurting those kids.’
Phoenix’s face twisted and I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfaction to see my scolding was having an effect.
‘Now,’ I continued, hands on hips, ‘you can come inside and talk with us. You will tell us what we need to know and how we can stop her, or you can go. But you,’ I glanced over my shoulder at Lincoln, fury still raging in his eyes, ‘and your male egos will not be fighting tonight because, let me break it down.’ I looked between them again. ‘If either one of you lands another punch then this conversation is over and those kids are going to die.’
Silence.
‘I’m going to put the kettle on,’ I said, taking their silence for agreement. For now.
We sat around the kitchen table, coffees in hand, tensions running high. Suddenly the cabin seemed very small.
Lincoln and Phoenix sat opposite one another, their eyes burning with malice.
It was strange see
ing them together. It caused an awkward sensation in my gut.
Phoenix looked incredible as per usual. He was dressed in black slim-line pants and a fitted black shirt. His opaline hair rippled with dazzling silver highlights.
He’s just a creature of lust, I reminded myself.
I couldn’t deny that being in close proximity to him affected me. It wasn’t in the same way as with Lincoln; it was raw and laden with guilt. Because I knew it wasn’t real. What Phoenix did to me was a controlled manipulation of my own emotions, but I longed for it anyway. I’d just explained to Lincoln earlier that I’d been addicted to Phoenix’s abilities and now, looking at him, I realised it was more than that. I was drawn to him on a deeper level, because of our connection and what we’d once shared.
‘You helped us in the subway. You led us to the other child,’ I said. Statement not question. When Phoenix didn’t respond, I went on. ‘You’ve been trying to get to me in my dreams – not to hurt me, but to help us.’
Phoenix was statue-still.
Finally, he shifted. ‘You kept pushing me out and once you were behind the Academy shields it was impossible.’
I remembered the force field that divided us last time.
‘Have you always known I could sense your emotions more than others?’ I asked, noting that Lincoln was stewing silently. But I needed to know. What I felt from Phoenix was more than just his emotional run-off and unlike anything I felt from anyone else.
Phoenix flinched. He knew what I was asking. ‘Ever since I healed you the connection has been there.’
I explained to Lincoln, ‘I think I can sense some of Phoenix’s emotions even when he doesn’t intend me to.’
‘Sensational,’ Lincoln said, flat.
‘It’s not like that,’ I said, blushing. ‘But I think that it helps me understand him at times.’
‘And she does seem to know every single inch of me,’ Phoenix taunted.
‘What are you doing here, Phoenix?’ Lincoln ground out each word.
Phoenix’s facade broke, just for a few seconds, but I saw it. The darkness around his eyes, the desperation that I’d sensed in the tunnels. I felt his weariness.
Endless: Violet Eden Chapters: Book Four Page 23
