Norma decided to play it down. ‘Honestly Julie, I thought somebody had been attacked or something. It’s just some silly bugger up to a prank, that’s all! Here’s a cloth and some cleaner. Go and scrub it off if it makes you feel any better.’ Then, realising the harshness of her words, she added, ‘Those that want to believe it will believe it anyway, and those of us that don’t, still don’t, so try not to let it worry you!’
Despite brisk scrubbing, Julie was unable to get rid of any of the writing. Whoever put it there had used a permanent marker. She cried tears of frustration as she continued to rub futilely at the toilet door until she realised that, just like her anguished thoughts, no matter how hard she tried, it was never going to go away!
--------------------
Monday 30th June 1986
After another difficult day Julie was relieved to arrive home. She was even more relieved when she received a phone call from Rita to say that she was calling round to see her. In her naivety, Julie believed that she was coming to cheer her up. Rita’s news surprised her.
‘I’ve been made redundant.’
‘Oh Rita, I’m so sorry to hear that! As if you haven’t got enough on your plate!’
‘It’s no big deal Julie. Factory jobs are ten a penny. Anyway, I’ve decided to have a well-earned rest. I’m going on holiday to Greece with Debby.’
Julie, normally so selfless, could not help but feel betrayed and her first thought was that she would be left to cope alone while Rita was away sunning herself.
‘Well, aren’t you going to wish me a nice time?’ asked Rita.
Julie snapped to her senses. ‘Yes, of course I hope you have a nice time Rita. I’m just a bit surprised, that’s all. It seems so sudden!’
‘Well, I didn’t get a bad payoff having been there for five years, so I thought, why not?’
‘What about Debby, she’s only been there a year or so; how’s she going to afford it?’
‘She’s got savings, believe it or not, always has had from being a kid. I mean, when you think about it she doesn’t spend much. She only goes out once or twice a week with the girls. We share taxis, she pays for a couple of drinks and her entrance to a club. Then, she cops off with someone the minute we get inside and lets them pay, not that I blame her.’
‘How will you go on if she does her disappearing act and you get left on your own when you’re abroad?’
‘Oh, you know me Julie, not exactly a wallflower am I? And if there’s plenty of talent up for grabs, I’ll be doing plenty of grabbing.’
‘Oh you dirty sod’, laughed Julie, momentarily forgetting her troubles.
‘Anyway, what’s to stop you coming with us Julie? We’ll have a right laugh!’
‘There’s not much to laugh about at the moment Rita. Besides, how would it look at work if I took a couple of weeks off? They’d think that I can’t face them!’
‘Don’t be daft! What does it matter what they think? A holiday will do you good!’
‘No Rita, I can’t go. I have to stay here and see this through. If I go away, I’ll still have to face it when I come back. Anyway, what about the police; will they let you go out of the country while you’re under suspicion?’
‘Stuff the police! They’ve already questioned us twice and they’ve got nothing on us. I won’t even let them know I’m going away. If they want to speak to me again, they’ll just have to ring the bloody hotel!’
‘When do you go?’
‘Friday night.’
‘Bloody hell! You don’t waste time, do you?’
‘Well, they laid us off there and then, so there was no point hanging around. Me and Debby went straight to the travel agents to cheer ourselves up. It’s going to be a mad rush. I’m going out to buy some new gear tomorrow, then I’ll have to get some sun lotions and all that. I can’t wait!’
Julie didn’t bother mentioning that Amanda’s funeral had been arranged. Neither did she bother asking Rita how she was feeling after Friday night. Rita seemed so happy at the moment that she didn’t want to spoil it for her. Besides, there didn’t seem any need to ask as Rita appeared to be all right, and Julie was once again surprised at her strength of character.
After Rita had droned on for a while about her holiday preparations, Julie decided to change the subject.
‘There was some graffiti about me on the loo walls at work today.’
‘Oh yeah, what did it say?’
Julie’s voice trembled as she uttered the words, ‘Julie Quinley is a murderer.’
‘Oh take no notice! It’ll be that bitch Jacqueline and her cronies.’
‘It’s hard to ignore it Rita. I couldn’t get it off the wall. I’ll see it every time I go in there and so will everyone-else.’
‘That Jacqueline’s trying to cover up her own guilt by pinning it on you. The cow! I wish I could get my hands on her!’
Julie noticed that once again Rita was quick to point the finger of blame on Jacqueline, but maybe Rita was right; perhaps Jacqueline was the guilty one. It was certainly a better alternative than Rita.
‘I’ve been thinking about that, Rita,’ she said. ‘Can you remember if there was any time when she was alone with Amanda?’
‘That’s a point! Let me think. God, it’s difficult to remember now; we were all a bit pissed but she was with her before we got there, don’t forget.’
‘I know, but Amanda was all right then. What about later on, in the Boardrooms? I can remember us two going to the loos together when we got gabbing for ages. Did we leave Amanda on her own then or was Debby with her?’
‘She was on her own as far as I remember. Debby was being chatted up by some bloke but Jackie had already gone for a meal by then.’
‘What if Jacqueline hadn’t gone for a meal though? She could have been hanging around, then come over and given drugs to Amanda as soon as she knew she was on her own. Then she could have disappeared before we got back, couldn’t she?’
‘Well I suppose so, but what would be the point of that?’
‘I don’t know, but someone’s done it! They must have a reason, and Jacqueline is a spiteful bitch! Maybe she was jealous of Amanda, or maybe she was trying to frame us for whatever reason.’
‘I suppose it’s possible, but the problem is proving that she did it Julie. Don’t forget, the police will have interviewed loads of witnesses from the pubs, and if anybody had seen Jacqueline go over they’d have had her in for questioning.’
‘It’s just so bloody annoying! I know that we didn’t do it, but everybody thinks we did and there’s no way I can prove otherwise. I just can’t make any sense out of any of it. As if it’s not bad enough that Amanda’s dead, without all this other hassle.’
‘Julie, you’re letting it get to you too much. Just ignore the bastards, or tell them to fuck off!’
‘I know, but it’s not easy when people who used to chat to you suddenly just blank you or give you dirty looks. Mike Marston completely blanked me today. I think he must have heard the rumours.’
‘Face him with it then. Find out what his problem is instead of just stewing over it. If he’s letting that stand in the way of taking you out then he’s not much of a bloke is he? You’re better off without him Julie. Besides, you’ve still got Vinny.’
‘Did have,’ Julie corrected her.
‘You’ve not bloody finished with him have you?’
‘Not exactly, no. I just can’t be bothered at the moment and after a night out with Mike, Vinny seemed so boring.’
‘Give over Julie. I’ve told you before, Vinny’s a decent bloke, and at least he’ll stand by you, not like this bloody Mike. You’re living in a dream world if you think you’ve got something going with the likes of him. I know his type. I bet he’s all smarmy and trying to show off about how clever he is.’
‘Not really,’ Julie defended him but lacked any argument to back up her case.
After a moment’s lull in the conversation Rita declared, ‘It’s time I was getting off. I�
��ve got a busy day’s shopping ahead of me tomorrow.’
‘OK,’ said Julie and, as Rita left, Julie promised to speak to her before her holiday.
‘See you then,’ said Rita, ‘and don’t forget, don’t let the bastards get to you!’
Julie only managed a frown in reply. Once she was left alone again to mull over the situation, one thought dominated all others: “Rita didn’t seem at all concerned over Amanda’s death.”
Chapter 17
Saturday 5th July 1986
The call from Vinny couldn’t have come at a worse time for Julie. It had been two days since the funeral and Thursday had been a particularly traumatic day at work. As Norma had attended Amanda’s funeral, Julie was responsible for managing the switchboard with the assistance of an office junior who had been trained to relieve them in the event of absence.
Management had instructed Julie to tell all callers that they were operating a skeleton staff due to special circumstances and to ask them to call back the following day. This had proved challenging since many of the callers were curious about the ‘special circumstances’ and Julie had found it very upsetting to have to repeatedly give an explanation. There was also the odd difficult customer who insisted that he had important matters to discuss, which couldn’t wait. Every time she had to mention the word ‘funeral’ she could feel her voice shaking and was on the verge of leaving the building on a couple of occasions.
It had also been a day since Rita had left for her holidays, and her departure was still fresh in Julie’s mind adding to her feelings of fear and isolation. It was no wonder then that Julie was anything but receptive towards Vinny.
‘Hi Julie, I thought I’d give you a ring to see if you’re feeling any better,’ he began nervously.
‘Vinny, this isn’t just a cold that will go away after a few days you know; my mate’s dead and I’ve been accused of killing her! I couldn’t even go to the funeral because they would have lynched me. So how do you think I bloody feel? Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel?’
‘Julie, I’m not trying to play it down. I know it must be bad. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.’
‘Well you don’t need to be! I’m doing enough worrying on my own.’
‘Don’t be like that Julie; I’m just trying to help. I’ve left you alone for a few days to give you some space. I was hoping that things might be getting a bit easier for you by now.’
‘Well they’re not; in fact they’re worse. The whole bloody world thinks I did it now, thanks to some bastard scrawling all over the toilet walls at work! And if that wasn’t bad enough, Rita pissed off to Greece yesterday and left me to it.’
‘You’re joking! Some kind of a mate she is eh? I told you you’d have to watch her.’
‘Stop having a go at Rita! I’ve told you, she’s all right. I can’t blame her for going away really. I just wish that I could handle it as well as her.’
‘Yeah well, she doesn’t have to work at the same place, does she?’
‘Oh cheer me up Vinny, why don’t you?’ Julie replied.
‘Sorry Julie. It’s just difficult not to talk about it. I tell you what, why don’t you come round here and I’ll have a proper go at cheering you up?’
‘No Vinny. I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood.’
‘Oh suit yourself then, I’ll see you around!’
Julie then heard him replace the receiver. She put the phone down and stared at it for a few seconds while she thought about the conversation that had just taken place. Julie knew that she had been awful to Vinny, but there was no point phoning him back as she couldn’t guarantee that she would be any nicer a second time. She was just too troubled.
The loud ringing of the phone made her jump. At this proximity it seemed to take on a life of its own. She was tempted to ignore it, but resisted. She was amazed to hear the sound of Rita’s voice at the other end of the line.
‘Hi Jules, how’s it going?’ Before Julie had a chance to respond an animated Rita continued. ‘Oh Julie, you should have come. It’s brilliant here, fuckin’ brilliant I tell ya! The place is gorgeous, the hotel’s right next to the beach, there’s a happy hour every night and loads of talent.’
Julie had difficulty hearing Rita because of a commotion in the background.
‘What’s all that noise?’ she asked.
‘Oh it’s just Debby having a laugh with this fella.’
‘She’s not copped already has she?’
‘Oh aye. You know Debby, she doesn’t waste any time. First night out and bang, but don’t worry; I’ve got my eye on a really fit barman.’
There was a roar in the background.
‘What was that?’ asked Julie.
‘Debby and her fella,’ Rita replied between giggles. ‘I think they approve of my choice, or maybe it was me mentioning the bang on the first night.’
A further series of roars and giggles echoed down the line.
‘How are you anyway?’ Rita continued. ‘Oh shit, the pips are going already. See you in a fortnight Julie, and keep your pecker up.’
This brought about peals of laughter from Debby and her companion until the sound was cut off and Julie was left holding a dead telephone receiver.
She put the phone down once again and gazed towards the window at the other side of the room, feeling contemplative. It was clear that Rita and Debby were having a whale of a time with not a thought for poor Amanda. She let the tears of frustration and bitterness flow freely until they clouded her eyesight. Suddenly, as she looked towards the living room window a vision appeared.
It was a woman; a young woman, pretty with dark hair. It was Amanda. Julie watched dumbstruck as Amanda gazed back at her with a pained expression on her face, her eyes red and misty.
The vision continued and Julie was drawn to it. She stepped forward, approaching the window until Amanda’s face was almost within reach. She stretched out her hand towards Amanda, but the vision died just as rapidly as it had appeared. Julie dashed to the window in search of an explanation, but the only thing she saw was her father’s rose bushes swaying in the breeze. She sank to her knees and let out an almighty yell while holding the sides of her head. ‘No, no!’ she shouted. ‘I’m going fuckin’ mad! NO!’
There was nobody to hear her screams. Her parents and Clare were all out shopping. Julie didn’t know how long she remained like that, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, but it seemed like an absolute age before she calmed down and rose to her feet.
She didn’t tell anybody about the vision. Julie knew it was just a figment of her imagination brought on by stress, and felt foolish discussing it. Besides, there was nobody she could discuss it with. Hadn’t she already brought enough trouble on her nearest and dearest without giving them even more cause for concern? She decided to put it behind her and try to continue her daily struggle through life.
--------------------
Monday 7th July 1986
Julie decided to confront Mike as soon as she returned to work on Monday. Even though she had enough on her plate as it was, she was determined to get some answers from him. Rita was right, there was no point in stewing over it. Apart from that, she deserved an explanation; he had promised to take her out again when all said and done.
The moment she spotted him, she asked if she could have a quiet word and led him to an interview room at the rear of the reception area. She decided to come straight to the point.
‘Why have you been avoiding me Mike?’
‘I haven’t, I’ve been busy.’
‘Come off it Mike! Your work doesn’t stop you from saying a quick hello. Besides, I thought you were supposed to be looking forward to seeing me again.’
He squirmed uncomfortably; he wasn’t going to wriggle out of this one.
‘All right,’ he conceded, ‘I’ll come clean. I think you’re a great girl Julie and I’d love to take you out again, but I can’t.’
‘Why, is it because of Amanda?’
‘Sort
of.’
He grasped her hands, trying to ingratiate himself. ‘I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong Julie, but I can’t ignore the rumours.’
She wrenched her hands out of his reach.
‘It could damage my career Julie,’ he pleaded. ‘Let’s just wait until everything settles down, then maybe we can go out again.’
As she stooped her head she could sense his discomfort while he awaited her reaction. ‘Just go Mike. Get out of my sight!’ she responded.
It was no better than she had expected, but now she knew for sure why he had been avoiding her and she wouldn’t waste any more of her time on him. She didn’t shed any tears. Why bother crying for something that you never really had, or was it because she had prepared herself already for what he was going to say?
When she returned to the switchboard, a few moments after Mike had sauntered past, she was relieved that Norma didn’t prompt her to relay her conversation with Mike. Perhaps the expression on her face told Norma all she needed to know.
Chapter 18
Thursday 10th July 1986
Betty received the card in Thursday morning’s post addressed to “Betty and Bill”. It was the long awaited invitation to her niece’s wedding. Betty was surprised to receive the invitation so late as the wedding was just over a week away, yet it had been the subject of conversation within the family for months. Her niece had said how lovely it would be to see them all at the church, but apologised that Clare would not be able to attend the reception as it was an adults only affair. Betty had expected, however, to see Julie’s name on the invitation since the wedding had been discussed openly in front of her. She was at a loss to understand why Julie wasn’t invited, but decided to ring and check, rather than just bring her along.
The reason given wasn’t very convincing; they wanted to keep the numbers down due to cost, so they had been forced to leave some people off the list. Although Betty wasn’t overjoyed with the situation, she accepted the excuse.
Slur: The Riverhill Trilogy: Book 1 Page 11
