“What do you think?” I ask her.
“I don’t think some distance would be a bad idea, son. Focus on school for a while and let her do the same.”
I look down and run my fingers through my hair. I can’t stand being in this situation.
This whole thing is draining. I look up at her. “Okay,” I agree… for now anyway. “I’m going to go lay down on the couch for a few minutes,” I say. Truth is, I’m avoiding my room, which is directly across from Skylar’s. I don’t want to get her into any more trouble by trying to talk to her through the window.
“Do you want something to eat?” mom asks.
“No. I’m okay.”
I lie down and think things through. I decide not to tell Skylar about the conversation with her dad. I don’t want her to be mad at her parents. Besides, we’ll already be distanced enough with her being grounded. That should be more than enough.
Out of habit, I pick up my phone to text her, but stop myself.
I end up closing my eyes and fall asleep.
Mom wakes me up a few hours later. I eat with her and then go over to Skylar’s house.
Her mom let’s me in and calls Skylar. Then says she will be in the kitchen if I need anything. She is still mad.
I can tell Sky has been crying non-stop. I hate this. She wipes her tears away and rushes toward me. I put my arms around her. “It will be okay,” I say.
“I guess that is what you get for dating someone who is still in high school,” she sobs in between words.
“Don’t do this, Sky. Come on,” I lead her to the couch and say in a low tone, “This doesn’t change anything, okay? I love you. It’s a month. I will just pick up some extra shifts to make time go by faster. We’ll be okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
I see her dad peeking through the door.
“I should go,” I say. I lean closer; pull her into a hug, and whisper, “I wasn’t kidding about the list. I’m going to marry you one day.”
I can hear her giggle in between sobs and that makes me feel a little better about having to leave.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ALEC
Two weeks go by and I do what I said I would. I pick up extra shifts at work and stay busy with classes. When I call, and by that I mean old school phone call (no FaceTime, no Skype), I feel worse than before because I can’t see her and there is nothing I can do to help the situation.
She texts me from Sebastian’s phone during school, but I say I’m at work or school. Truth is, I’m afraid she will get caught and that it will make things worse. I could take the easy way out and say that her dad told me to put some space between us, and that respecting that is a way to guarantee that we will still be able to see one another again soon, but that will just lead to a different kind of heartbreak. I don’t want her to be mad at her parents on top of everything else.
I’m supposed to see her this weekend, and I feel weird about it. I want to see her, but it will be harder having to leave after… and then, I get a call reminding me that I have my yearly checkup coming up, and that decides it for me. When I do call her, I say that I’m on call for work this weekend. I hate this… I hate being the reason for her sounding so disappointed and sad.
I get off the phone and throw it across the room just as Kyle walks into the apartment.
“Dude. What the hell?”
“Sorry, man.”
“What the hell is going on? You should be happy. You are seeing your girl this weekend, aren’t you?”
“Nope,” I say. “I’m just going to see if I can pick up extra shifts this weekend. I have my doctor’s appointment coming up and I’m just not in the mood to be around people.”
“Did you tell Skylar about the appointment?”
I shake my head.
“Of course not,” Kyle says and he sounds annoyed. “So, you are just going to sit here and sulk the entire weekend doing nothing but stress out?”
I nod.
“The hell you are. Pack your stuff. We are going camping this weekend.”
“Kyle…”
“Alec. You’re going even if I have to drag you to the truck. Oh yeah, and we are taking your truck by the way. Any way, you are going and you are staying there, even if I have to tie you to a tree.”
I shake my head and give up.
Saturday comes and Kyle doesn’t even wake up until mid-afternoon, but he did take it upon himself to pack for me the night before. Today is the day Skylar and I can talk, but I can’t lie to her. So when she calls, I let it go to voicemail and just tell myself that I’m the worst boyfriend in the world. She doesn’t leave me a message either. I try to convince myself that I’m doing this for the right reasons, but it doesn’t really work. I just know I won’t be able to relax until after I get my yearly test results in a few weeks. She shouldn’t have to deal with all this doctor stuff on top of everything else.
There is a knock on the door and Kyle opens it. Sebastian stands there, holding a sleeping bag.
“What is he doing here?” I ask.
“Chill. He was sworn to secrecy. And I figured you’d want to know how Skylar has really been doing lately, and he is the perfect person to ask. Maybe that will knock some sense into your head.”
“Fine. Let’s go.”
I get up, grab my bag, and go toward the door.
“Do you need your phone?” asks Kyle.
“No,” I snap.
And I leave. I wait in the truck for Kyle and Sebastian.
James pulls up in his car just as Kyle and Sebastian come out, and they both go toward his car.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“We are riding with him. You are cranky as hell, man. Just follow us there.”
The camping site is almost two hours away. We setup a big tent and start a fire. James managed to get beer, and hands me the first one.
“No, I’m good,” I say.
“You’re far from it, bro,” says Kyle. “Just drink the damn beer and relax.”
I take the beer. Then James goes to give Sebastian one and Kyle stops him. “No. He is staying sober and babysitting us.” He looks at Sebastian. “Sorry, kid.”
Sebastian shrugs and grabs his phone.
“You won’t get a signal here,” says Kyle.
“Oh.”
James grabs a football and he, Kyle and Sebastian, throw it around while I take a quick nap — at least until Kyle throws the football at me.
“Seriously, Kyle?”
He nods. “Finish that beer and get another.”
I do, because I know that Kyle won’t shut up. And I do start to feel relaxed. I grab a bag of chips and go sit by the fire as they go back to throwing the football around.
“So, Alec, I hear you should be thanking James,” says Kyle.
“What for?” I ask.
“He is dating Lizzie, which explains her backing off.”
I laugh. “I feel like I should be giving him my sympathies.”
They all laugh. James included.
“Run away while you can, dude. That is all I have to say.”
He shrugs. “I think I’m alright for now. Dating her has some benefits.”
“Do tell,” says Kyle.
“Please don’t,” I beg him.
“A gentleman never tells,” says James, and at that, we all laugh. James is the farthest thing from a gentleman.
“So, how do you like high school?” Kyle asks Sebastian.
“It pretty much sucks.”
“Yeah, sounds like nothing has changed. Well, one thing will change… their baseball season will suck without us.”
I grab another beer and kind of zone out for a bit.
“Hey. HEY!” says Kyle.
“Yeah?” I say.
“James and I are gonna go try to catch some fish. Well, I’m going to catch some fish and James is gonna see how it is done.”
“Uh-huh.” I know neither of them will be catching anything. “Okay,” I say and I try to get up and fall back d
own.
“Yeah. You stay right here with Sebastian. I’m not in the mood to carry you back here, you lightweight.”
“Ha Ha.” I say, and they laugh as they walk away.
Sebastian keeps playing with his phone.
“So, how is she?” I ask after a while.
He doesn’t even look up from his game. “Doing about as bad as I assume you are.”
There is an awkward silence. Still not looking away from the game on his phone, he says, “She thinks you are gonna break up with her.” And I feel like I’ve been sucker punched.
“I’m not. It’s just been a rough couple of weeks.”
He looks up then. “Well, it wouldn’t be as rough if you weren’t avoiding her. Why are you anyway?”
I feel that if I tell him the real reason, he will tell her, so I just shrug and finish my beer, then go inside the tent and pass out.
When I wake up in the morning, I’m still the only one in the tent. I turn to the side and I know why. ‘Damn it, Kyle,’ I think to myself. There is a fish about 20 inches long lying next to me. I get up, careful not to make any sound and take a peek outside. They are all sleeping on the ground, with beer cans all around. I turn back, grab the fish, and step outside of the tent. I slowly walk toward Kyle. He slept without a shirt on too… perfect. I drop the fish right on his chest and run!
I’m surprised with how quickly he moves considering that he just woke up, and has a hangover. He says a few choice words as he runs after me, swinging the fish around. I’m laughing so hard I have to stop to catch my breath and he catches up.
“Ah. Drop the fish, dude,” I warn him. “You know I’m good with paybacks. Point proven on how you woke up today. Just let it go.”
He shakes his head. “This is not the end of it.”
He drops the fish. We go back to the tent, have donuts for breakfast, and start packing up.
I approach Sebastian.
“Hey, man. Sorry about last night. Do you mind telling Skylar that I texted your phone and asked you to tell her that I’m sorry I didn’t get to talk to her yesterday and that I will make it up to her?”
He nods. “Sure.” He pauses. “I know it’s none of my business, but whatever you got going on, you should talk to her about it.”
A part of me knows he is right, but I know I can’t do it.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SKYLAR
Alec wasn’t kidding about picking up extra shifts. I try to use Sebastian’s phone to call him during school and on the way home, but he is always either at school or work. The one weekend he is supposed to come home, he ends up being on call for work. That is also the weekend that Sebastian stops by to say that Alec had sent a text apologizing for missing my call. It doesn’t make things any better though. After that, we do talk every other day for a little over a week, but he always sounds tired.
And then, the end of the month gets closer, and the calls are fewer and further between. I knew that college would be time consuming, and I don’t want to sound needy, but I would be okay with a quick call just to say hi, especially when that is all we have. He has to know that, and that is why I believe something is definitely off. I ask him if there is something wrong or if there is something he needs to talk to me about. He always says no, but I know something is bothering him. I can tell. I end up in tears pretty much every night. And when the month is over, he still has to work, or study. It is always something.
ALEC
One thing her dad was right about… in a strange way, putting some space in between us helped me deal with having to stay apart. Not because I love her any less, but because it numbed me in a way. I know that seeing her would make it unbearable to leave and I know I can’t handle that right now.
At the end of the month, the day arrives when I have to do my blood work. I can’t put her through this, so instead, I push her away. The old doubts return and all I think about is 'What if the cancer is back?' 'What if I have to leave baseball before it even starts?' 'What if I have to leave Sky?'
SKYLAR
Another weekend comes and goes and Alec says he won’t be able to make it home. I have this horrible feeling that he has finally had enough and is moving on.
I have five missed calls from Kyle when I get home from school.
I call him right away. I have this gut feeling that something is wrong. “Hey Kyle. What is going on?”
He doesn’t say anything at first, and my stomach drops.
“Sky, Alec has his appointment today. It’s that time of year.”
I stop moving. I just stand where I am.
“Is this why—” I don’t have to finish my question.
“Did you really think he would push you away for no reason? He is trying to do what his dumbass thinks is best for you. He has been stressing over it for weeks. It always happens, but it has been worse since you two got together, because he is scared to lose you.”
I sigh. “Do you know what time the appointment is?”
“No. He wouldn’t tell me because he knew I would try to go. He just gave me a ride to mom and dad’s and took off.”
“Would you mind?”
“I’m ready. Already borrowed mom’s car. Walking out the door now.”
I rush to the window, look outside and don’t see Alec’s truck. I go outside to wait on Kyle.
He gets here in record time and speeds to the hospital.
Once we get to the oncology floor and the elevator door opens, I can see him. His back is to me. He is staring at the room where they have toys and video games for the kids.
I look back at Kyle.
“Go ahead,” he whispers. “I'll wait outside.”
I take a deep breath. My hands are trembling, but I walk toward him. I notice he shakes his head right before lowering it and I wonder if he already knows I’m here and doesn’t want me around; but, I keep going forward until I’m standing by his side.
He looks over at me and I can see that he had been crying.
He goes back to looking at the room.
“Kyle?” he asks.
“Yes.”
He shakes his head again.
“Do you want me to leave?” I ask.
He looks into my eyes. “I don’t know what I want.” He pauses. I start to turn around to leave. “Sky,” I stop at the sound of my name. There is so much pain in his tone. He takes a deep breath. “I want for you to not have to deal with this every time I have to come back here. I want for you not to see this side of me. I want to know that we have the possibility of a future without this curse. I want to not be scared of losing you.”
“But you shut me out. In a way, you were already letting me go.”
He looks down. “I thought it would be easier on you, in case the tests results are— It was just easier to give you the opportunity to get away.”
ALEC
I can’t believe she is still standing here, by my side. I fully expect her to turn all the way around and leave, but she doesn’t. She slips her hand into mine and we stand here, waiting on the doctor to call me with the results.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
She goes in with me and I’m terrified, and I know she is too. The doctor comes in with a smile on his face and I relax against the seat. Once he confirms that everything looks good, I can’t get out of here fast enough.
“Come on,” I tell Skylar, and when I reach for her hand, she pulls away. And it hurts, but I don’t blame her.
She leaves me standing here and walks toward the elevator, and I follow her. We get in and as soon as the door closes, she faces me and crosses her arms. She looks adorable when she is mad, and I try not to laugh because I know it will make her even more upset. The urge to laugh leaves as soon as she starts talking.
“You hurt me,” she says. And I look down, avoiding her gaze.
“I’m sorry, Sky.”
“You can’t keep doing this, Alec. You can’t push everyone away every time you have something stressful going on. I bet even your mom doesn’t
know you are here, does she?” I shake my head and she continues, “And not only that, you picked the worse possibly time to pull that—when I couldn’t see you! All we had was one call every other day and you took that away.”
The elevator door opens and she takes off, with me practically running after her. “Skylar?” I call after her.
Kyle is standing outside. She walks past him and toward the parking lot.
“What's going on?” he asks.
“She's mad.”
He laughs. “Good! That should teach you something! You better hurry and go after her.”
I do. I chase her all the way to Kyle’s car, where she finally turns around to face me.
I’m at a loss for words. All I think about is kissing her. I haven’t kissed her in a month and all I want to do is make up for that time, so before she says anything else, I take another step forward, close the distance between us, and kiss her.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper against her lips. “Let me make it up to you.”
She tilts her head to the side and bites her bottom lip. “I’ll think about it.”
Kyle unlocks the door, she gets in, and they drive off, leaving me alone in the parking lot.
SKYLAR
“Can I just say how awesome that was?” says Kyle and I roll my eyes at him.
“I’m dead serious. Alec is like a brother to me, but he deserved that!”
“It wasn’t easy,” I say.
“You are going to give him another chance though, right?”
“Maybe.”
Kyle’s expression changes.
“Relax, Kyle. You know that I am.”
Kyle and I stop on the way home to grab dinner and he tells me about his classes, and about how much Alec has been working lately. We are just finishing up when I get a text from Alec.
‘Meet me on the roof when you get home? Please?’
“Alec?” Kyle asks when he notices me smiling at my phone.
Catch Me If I Fall Page 7
