by Blaire Drake
“Do what?”
“This. Tonight.” Slowly, I lifted my eyes back up to his. The rawness I saw in his floored me. “He wasn’t you,” I said so softly that I could barely hear it myself. “I don’t hate you, Jordan. I don’t hate you at all.”
We stood there for a moment, staring at each other, three feet of space between us. My heart beat a hard, frantic beat against my ribs, and my skin tingled.
His inhale was loud.
That was all he’d needed.
He came at me like a lightning bolt. His hands framed my face, and I slid my arms around his neck as our lips found each other’s. Heat passed between us in a sizzling desperation as, for the first time ever, emotion ruled our touches. Desire took a backseat as he pulled me against him and I whimpered into his mouth.
It was my favorite kiss.
It tasted like hope.
Jordan’s teeth grazed across my bottom lip as he pulled away. I closed my eyes when he rested his forehead against mine, breathing heavily.
I wanted this moment to last forever.
“Wait here for a moment, okay?”
I nodded, letting my arms fall from his neck. He paused before turning and disappearing from the room.
That hadn’t quite gone as I’d expected.
“Here.” Jordan walked back in, a white, rectangular envelope in one hand, and sheets of paper in the other. He held the envelope up and glanced at it before presenting it to me.
My name was scrawled on the top.
I froze. “Is that…”
“Your letter?” He nodded. “You’re the only one who ever earned it on her own. It should have been yours from the start.”
My lips parted, and I took a shaky breath. My eyes dropped to the envelope, and with a trembling hand, I closed my finger and my thumb around a corner of it. He let it go instantly and took a step back.
“What’s that?” I focused on the sheets remaining in his hand.
“The agreement.” He held it so I could see the front page.
Memories of that day came rushing back to the forefront of my mind and how very different that first kiss had been compared to the one we’d just shared.
I gasped as he tore it straight down the middle. “What are—what?”
He dropped the torn pieces on the coffee table. “I’d said before I told you everything—this is it, sweet thing. You have your letter. You can go.”
I traced his face with my eyes. His short, dark hair, electric-blue eyes framed with long lashes… Soft pink lips surrounded by rough whiskers. My grip on the envelope tightened, creasing the paper.
It was over.
Everything I’d tried to do for the past weeks… It’d accumulated in this. The very thing I’d wanted since the moment he’d told me that he knew what I did for a living.
Except… I didn’t want it anymore.
It didn’t matter to me how this had started. It didn’t matter that it was now over.
I didn’t want it to be over. I didn’t want to leave him.
“What if I don’t want to go?”
Slowly, Jordan turned back to me. “Then don’t,” he said simply.
I threw my letter on top of the torn contract on the table. “I don’t want to go,” I whispered. I walked toward him and stopped within touching distance. “Don’t… Please don’t make me go.”
As he stared down into her indigo eyes, he knew he couldn’t. How could he make her leave when it went against every desire in his body? When all he wanted to do was scoop her up and explore her body the way it should be explored?
When all he wanted for her to stay right there with him?
“So stay.” The words were said gruffly, but he meant them both.
Darcy took a step closer to him and placed her hand on his chest. He closed his eyes as he felt his heart beating against the palm of her hand.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “For telling me those things.”
“If anyone deserved to know, it was you.” He rested his hand against the side of her face and tenderly brushed his thumb across her cheek.
She turned her face into his palm and covered his hand with hers. “I have one more question.”
“Ask away.”
“Why did you close yourself off after Amanda died?”
His stomach tightened. “To protect myself. I was also terrified of replacing her.” He knew that it sounded stupid, but it was the only thing that made sense. “It was easier to be alone than to risk someone taking her place.”
“You know nobody can ever do that, right?” Darcy spoke quietly. “No one can ever be Amanda.”
“Yes, I do now. It just took a little time.” His lips pulled into a small smile, and he slid his hand around the back of her head. “Took a little time to find someone so not like her that there wouldn’t be a chance of it.”
“I think that’s a compliment.” Laughter tainted her words, and the sound made him smile wider. “So…thank you.”
In fact, he did more than a smile. He laughed. “Come here.” He pulled her closer to him and took her mouth with his. “How long are you staying?”
Her hands crept beneath his shirt and flattened against his back. “How long do I need to?”
Now, he grinned. “All night.”
Dear Professor, surprise… Xoxo, Darcy.
I managed to sneak in and out of Dalton House without being seen on Saturday afternoon. It was a damn miracle… Because I now had everything I wanted and one thing I didn’t know I did. Not that being with Jordan—for real this time—came without its own set of problems.
Namely that we were looking at potentially hiding our relationship for a long longer than another three weeks. We realized as we were together over the weekend that we were looking at hiding it long past graduation, and I wasn’t sure how viable that idea was. Neither was he.
Being caught was now even scarier.
I twirled my pen as I sat through Professor Banks’s discussion on the greatest tragedies in romance. I couldn’t look at her the same anymore. All I saw was a woman who’d once slept with the same man I had—something you’d think I’d have been used to, but nope. Not this time.
I actually felt incredibly awkward. Like a nun at an orgy. I kept looking at her and seeing this whole other woman I didn’t know. I guessed that’s why relationships like that were all banned—how could you focus on your class if all you could think about were personal things regarding your professor?
Ugh. I was so screwed for the rest of this year.
The class ended, and I packed my things up, ready to meet Jake for lunch. I could feel Professor Banks’s eyes on me as I zipped my purse and put it on my shoulder, but when I looked in her direction, she was wiping off the whiteboard behind her desk.
I shrugged it off and left the room despite the niggle in the back of my mind. I was sure it was borne purely of paranoia. Now that I had everything to lose, including Jordan, I had to get a grip on myself. Nothing screamed suspicious more than suspicious behavior. That was why it was suspicious, after all.
Yeah—I definitely needed to pull myself together. I had more decisions to make than just whether I should send my application to Harvard today or tomorrow.
I had to decide what I was going to do about Dalton House.
He hadn’t mentioned it since our big conversation, but I knew there was absolutely no way I’d be on cam again as long as we were seeing each other.
My phone pinged with an e-mail notification, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw Jordan’s name.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Dinner…
Darcy,
Meet me at Pete’s Diner at six. Unfortunately, I’m not quite up on the restaurants for dinner dates…
J
I laughed as I hit reply.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I suppose…
Dear Professor,
&n
bsp; See you then.
Xoxo, Darcy.
I was still smiling as I walked into the cafeteria and spied Jake sitting in the corner.
It was a good day.
I hummed as I pulled up outside Pete’s parking lot. I couldn’t see Jordan’s SUV anywhere, but I was a little early, so I decided I’d go in, get a table, and let him know. My car lights flickered bright orange as I locked the vehicle and pulled my jacket around me tighter. December was getting closer, and it was starting to get stupidly cold.
I pushed the door to Pete’s open and welcomed the rush of warm air. Even if it was so thick with grease that I could practically taste it on my tongue.
I waited by the bar for a moment, looking over the booths and out the window. When five minutes passed and he hadn’t shown, I pulled out my phone and e-mailed him.
Why I still didn’t text him, I didn’t know.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Where are you?
Dear Professor,
You’re late. Getting a table.
Xoxo, Darcy.
“Excuse me.” I grabbed a server who couldn’t have been older than eighteen. “Do you have a spare table for two?”
“Uhhh, sure.” He scanned the room. “Right over there. The little, round one next to the booths.”
“Thank you.” I smiled and crossed through the restaurant.
My phone pinged in my hand, and the subject line was enough to give me chills.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Where should I be?
Darcy,
I’m at home, working. Where do you have a table?
J
I stopped, my heartbeat picking up. My phone started ringing, and I almost dropped it when his name flashed on the screen.
“Hey.”
“Was I supposed to meet you somewhere?” he asked, skipping a greeting.
I placed my purse on top of the table. “Yeah. I got an e-mail from you just before lunch telling me to meet you at Pete’s at six.”
“Uh… Darcy, I haven’t e-mailed you today.”
“Yes, you have.” I felt sick. “Right after twel—” I looked up as the familiar face of Professor Carly Banks came into my view.
Her lips were twisted in an ugly smile, and her eyes were cold.
Maybe I hadn’t been imagining that look after class.
“I’ll call you back,” I said slowly then hung up. “What a coincidence,” I said to Professor Banks. “I didn’t know many people knew about this place.”
“It’s on my way home.” She smiled sweetly. “I thought the same.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Student budget and all that. It’s pretty cheap here.”
“Sure is.” Her smile became strained in the awkward silence that followed. “Are you eating alone?” she asked, finally breaking it.
“Yep. Would you like to join me? I was going to e-mail you about the assignment, so this works well.”
She held a hand out. “Sure. Why not?”
I kept my eyes on her as I pulled my chair back and sat. She took her seat, and we reached for the menus at the same time. It felt like a staring contest, and I wondered who was going to break first.
I knew why she was here, and it sure as hell wasn’t because it was on her way home.
My phone buzzed in my hand, but I silenced it with a press of the power button. I wanted to vomit, but the adrenaline pumping through my veins was keeping me sane.
We placed our order with the same young guy who’d led me to this table. I put my menu back in its holder and met Banks’s eyes.
“Professor, why don’t you just cut to the chase? We both know this is not coincidence.”
She sat back and folded her arms across her chest, regarding me for a moment. “Maybe you’re smarter than even I thought, Darcy.”
“If I were that smart, I wouldn’t be here right now, would I?”
“True, true.” She tapped blood-red nails against her chin. “I’m assuming you’ve figured out that I’m aware of your relationship with Jordan Keaton.”
No point in lying now. If she’d been in his e-mail to send me the summons, she knew exactly the nature of our relationship.
“Yep.”
“It’s illegal.”
“Yours wasn’t exactly within the boundaries of the university’s rules.”
“But my relationship with him doesn’t have the potential to land him in jail.”
Fuck. “Why are you here? What do you stand to gain from exposing this?”
“Nothing,” she admits. “I simply wanted to inform you that I’ll be meeting with the director of the university tomorrow morning before classes begin. I wouldn’t show up with much of your things for your classes. According to the guidelines, you’ll both be suspended temporarily with immediate effect, and it’ll be on your permanent record.”
The one that would carry through to Harvard with me… Not that it would matter. I wouldn’t stand a chance at Harvard now.
“Fair enough.” I clasped my hands on the table in front of me. “How did you find out?”
“He was unusually distant and dismissive of my advances. Coupled with the numerous times I saw you entering his office, it was a short leap to assume something was going on. I happened to be alone in his office on Friday when I took the opportunity to snoop a little. I found the contractual agreement drawn up between the two of you.”
“And the e-mail today?”
“I borrowed his log-in details. You’re a wonderfully fast responder, Miss Hamilton.”
“I’d take that as a compliment if I didn’t want to ram my purse into your face,” I muttered.
What? I was facing suspension anyway. She had proof of our relationship. I was going down swinging.
She had the audacity to wink at me before pushing her chair back. “I’m sorry this happened, Darcy. You’re one of my best students.”
I took a deep breath. “Is there nothing I can say to make you change your mind about reporting it? Even if the relationship is over?”
She slowly shook her head. “I’m fully aware, as you are, that it isn’t the first time he’s done this. I don’t believe he should be allowed to get away with this any longer. I am truly regretful that you’re the student who must be caught in the firing line.”
“I understand.” And I did. Whether her reasons were true or not—and I suspected there was a good deal of jealously driving her motives—it made sense. She was, technically, right.
And, while I didn’t believe he would do it again—at least, I hoped I would be the last one—she didn’t know that.
She put some money on the table in front of me before walking away. My stomach was rolling too much to eat, so I threw my own money down and walked out of the diner, my drink untouched on the table. I saw our food be put down just as I got into my car.
Ah well. At least I wasn’t hungry anymore…
I checked my phone. I had two missed calls from Jordan and an e-mail. I broke with tradition and texted him instead, letting him know I was on my way.
I didn’t see his response as I pulled out of the lot and onto the interstate. I did my best to keep my mind clear as I drove to his house.
I had no idea how I was supposed to word this. He couldn’t have known already or he would have said something, surely.
I couldn’t believe that it was happening.
I parked outside his house and wasted no time getting to him. I knocked twice on the door before I pushed it open and darted inside.
“Hello?”
“What the hell is going on?” He appeared from the kitchen, and as I took in his shirtless form, I smelled pasta.
“You’re gonna wanna stop whatever you’re doing and come talk to me.” I ran my fingers through my hair and walked into the front room.
“Jesus,” he muttered. He joined me in the front room, wiping his hands on a towel. “Okay, now can you tell me
?”
“Remember how I said you e-mailed me?”
When he nodded, I exhaled heavily.
“Yeah, it wasn’t you.”
“I told you that. Are you sure it was a new e-mail?”
“Yes!” I was getting exasperated with today. “It was Carly Banks.”
Jordan stilled. “I was afraid of that.”
“She knows. About u—wait, what do you mean you were afraid of that? Did you know that she knows?”
He took a deep breath and let it out on a pained sigh. “I found out an hour ago. She caught me before I left campus.”
“And you didn’t think it was important to tell me?” I was kind of shrieking now.
He tossed the towel to the side and crossed the room to me. “Listen to me, sweet thing,” he said firmly, cupping my face. “Let me deal with this. I have a plan.”
“Can I know the plan? Because, if I’m gonna get my ass hauled into the university boss man’s office tomorrow, then I need to know what the hell is going on so I don’t fuck myself!”
“Darcy. Breathe. Your having a panic attack isn’t going to get this situation solved.”
“Situation solved? Situation solved? Nothing will solve this situation short of getting a time machine! So, unless you know the Doctor and he can hop over here with his fucking TARDIS, I’m going to panic!”
“Darcy!” he snapped, making me stop and stare at him. “I have this under control. I’ve had this planned since the first time I kissed you. I’ll protect you. Do you understand that?”
My lungs were still begging me for oxygen, and my heart was still aching, but somehow, I nodded. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you,” I whispered, and I realized I did. Wholeheartedly.
How funny.
Jordan softly kissed me. “Now, please calm down.”
“Easy for you to say,” I whispered to myself as he walked back into his kitchen.
He wasn’t the one who was facing their future being ripped away from them. Sure, he’d never teach again, but he’d still have his work as a historian.
