He has to shut the fantasy down when his imagination puts Justin in the bed, when he starts remembering Justin hiding his eyes from the daylight and trying to wrap Dan up under their quilt. He has a brief flash of Jeff in the role, his gentle eyes watching Dan come out of the shower, his big hands resting on Dan’s hips and pulling him back toward the bed, but then Dan shuts down that thought too. Nothing can happen with Jeff. It would be unfaithful to Justin and unfair to Evan, and if nothing’s going to happen, then Dan should just stop torturing himself with thoughts of it. He thinks of Justin as he is now, lifeless and wasting in a sterile hospital bed, and that’s as effective as a cold shower. No more fantasies for Dan this morning.
Evan had said that he’d be up by six and ready to get started by seven. It’s not quite seven yet, but Dan figures that he can walk slowly, so he puts his book and mug inside the door and starts toward the house. He hasn’t gone far when he sees the two dogs racing toward him. Evan’s tall shape appears from a path in the trees and follows after the dogs, albeit more slowly.
Dan crouches to greet the animals, and is rewarded with kisses and cold noses against his neck. He straightens with a laugh and walks to join their master.
Evan turns to go toward the house with Dan, neither of them saying much. The dogs take off into the woods, and Evan grins. “We saw a deer this morning, and they had no idea what to do. But now every time a leaf moves, they’re chasing after it like they’ve got something to prove.”
“Not great hunters, then?”
“Well, they’re… enthusiastic.”
“Just as well. We had a dog when I was a kid, he’d bring back a dead something at least once a day. And if we buried it shallow, he’d dig it up and bring it home again, like he’d killed it twice, no matter how rotten and stinky it was. So we had to bury ’em deep.”
Evan grins. “Sounds like a good job for a young whippersnapper like you.”
Dan flexes his shoulders. “These are grave-digging muscles, boy.”
They walk for a bit, and then Evan says, “Where was that? Kentucky?”
Dan shakes his head. “No, Texas.”
“Oh yeah? Is that where you grew up?”
“Yeah, mostly.” Dan doesn’t think this needs to go any further. “So, Tatiana said she wanted to be there when I saw the stuff you’ve done at the barn. Did she mean it, or can we go by now?”
Evan makes a face. “Oh, no, she meant it. She talked me into letting her take today off school so she can ‘be part of the new business’. She wants in on the interviews, the site inspections, everything.”
“Linda said you wanted Tat to get interested in the business side of things.”
“Yeah, if she’s actually interested, that’s great. I just wonder if she’s pretending to be interested as a way to get out of school. And maybe…” Evan’s lips twitch a little. “Maybe so she can spend a little more time with the dreamy new trainer.”
Dan sputters a little. “Really? Does she not know that I’m gay?”
Evan laughs. “Well, she knows about Justin, she saw the video from when he won Rolex.” Evan pauses to see if the mention has upset Dan and then continues. “It’s kinda my fault—I’m pretty equal opportunity about things. I mean, I don’t bring anyone home if we’re not reasonably serious, but she’s seen me with guys and girls. I don’t know, I think she thinks everyone’s the same way.” Evan pauses.
“Oh. God.” Dan isn’t up to this.
“No, it’s cool, she’s really innocent. She might moon around after you for a while, but it’s not like she’s gonna make a move or something.” Evan seems amused by Dan’s alarm. “Jeff said you were really good with her yesterday. Said I might have to look at turning the place into a breeding operation, but otherwise… said you were good.”
“Yeah.” Dan doesn’t want to get too far into this, but…. “I have a younger sister. I remember the age.”
“Really? She’s Tat’s age?”
“No. She’s only two years younger than me. But she was about Tat’s age the last time I saw her.”
Evan looks like he wants to ask a lot more questions, but he satisfies himself with one. “This was back in Texas?”
Dan nods, and they walk in silence until they reach the house.
They go in through a side door, and Evan grabs a towel to wipe the dogs’ feet before they go into the main house. They follow the smells of food to the kitchen, where the housekeeper is laying the table.
Evan greets her with a kiss on the cheek. “Tia, something smells incredible.” Evan reaches out to open the oven door and look inside, and Tia slaps his hand away.
“When Tatiana is ready, you can sit at the table and eat like a civilized person.” Tia stirs something in a pot on the stove, and then turns to Dan. “Can I get you some coffee or juice, Mr. Wheeler?”
Dan grins at Evan’s eyeroll. “Uh, coffee would be great, but I can get it myself if you’re busy.” He reluctantly adds, “And Dan is fine.”
“No, you sit down. I’ll get you some coffee.”
Tia bustles off to take care of that, and Evan shakes his head ruefully. “The disadvantage of having longstanding employees. When a woman’s changed your diaper, it’s hard to get her to treat you with a whole lot of respect.” Evan crosses to a box on the wall, and punches in a few numbers. There’s a crackle, and then Evan speaks into the box. “Tat, let’s go! Breakfast is served!”
The box speaks back in strident tones. “Leave me alone! I’ll be down when I’m ready.”
Evan winks at Dan and then says, “Okay, Tat, but Dan’s here, and he’s hungry, so let’s not keep him waiting too long.”
There’s a pause, and then the box sounds almost meek. “I’m hurrying.”
Evan walks behind Dan to get to his place at the table, and he affectionately ruffles Dan’s hair as he passes. “This could be really useful. If having you around makes my little sister behave like a human instead of a troll… I’m sorry to say it, but you may have to give up on all this ‘gay’ nonsense.”
Dan ducks away from Evan’s hand, but he grins. “And marry into this? I dunno, man, it might be worth it.”
“Well, better you than some of the guys she goes to school with, that’s for sure.”
Tia brings the coffee over and sends a dark look at Evan. “You be careful with that talk, Evan. If she thinks you’re judging her friends, she’ll stop bringing them home, and then what?”
Dan nods in smug support, and Tia rewards him with a pat to his cheek.
Dan helps himself to sugar from the bowl in the middle of the table, and then passes it over to Evan. He’s curious about why there was only one call on the intercom. “Is Jeff not eating?”
Evan grimaces. “Maybe. He went home last night. His dog just had surgery, and she’s all stitched up, so she can’t really come over and deal with the beasts. But he wants to be here for the grand tour, and for sure for the interviews, so we’ll see if he makes it for breakfast.”
Tatiana arrives then, looking freshly scrubbed and sunny, and gracefully slides into a seat at the table. She’s right across from Dan, and he thinks of Evan’s earlier remarks and feels the heat rising up on his neck. Evan notices and grins.
“Morning, Tat. Is that a new hairband? It’s really pretty.” Evan smiles ingratiatingly at his sister, who looks back at him in bewilderment. Evan continues. “Isn’t it a nice hairband, Dan?”
Dan smiles awkwardly, but decides to give it his best shot. “I don’t really know about the hairband, but I like your hair pulled back like that. It brings out your eyes.”
Tatiana blushes happily, and Dan smirks at Evan.
Tia is just serving up breakfast, some sort of waffle-esque pastry with homemade blueberry sauce, when the door opens and Jeff comes in. “Hey, I thought I smelled something good!” He kisses Tia’s cheek and then goes around the table, bending to catch Tatiana’s cheek and pulling Evan’s head back a little to kiss his forehead. He grins at Dan, but doesn’t approach.
Dan’s eyebrows go up. “You’re in a good mood. Or are you just this much of a morning person?”
“No, I’m in a great mood.” Jeff turns to Evan, who looks confused and then excited.
“You got the show? Seriously?”
Jeff nods. “Two weeks in the Nachfelt Gallery, my paintings on the walls.” He grins. “The message was on my machine when I got home last night.”
Everyone’s very excited, but Dan is reminded again that he’s an outsider here. He hadn’t even known that Jeff was an artist. And he doesn’t know enough about the art world to understand the significance of getting a show, although he can tell that it’s a big deal. When the commotion dies down, Jeff’s eyes turn to Dan, who offers up a simple, “Congratulations.”
“Thanks, man. Sorry for the fuss, it’s just… I’ve been working for this for a while.” Jeff smiles happily.
The meal resumes, with Tia bringing a plate for Jeff.
There’s some talk about the show, about which of Jeff’s paintings should be included, but eventually they get back to the day’s business. Evan checks his watch before he mops up the last of the blueberry sauce with a piece of waffle. “So, the first interview is scheduled for an hour from now. If we go down to the barn and have a quick tour, we can interview until lunch, then interview some more, and then go up and check out the cross-country course before dinner?”
This is almost exactly the schedule that Linda had laid out on Dan’s papers. He wonders if she’d passed the information along to Evan, or if she’s just good enough to have read his mind in advance. He nods his acquiescence, and gulps the last of his coffee as he sees the others standing to go. Everyone leaves their dishes on the table, and Dan remembers that the same thing had been done last night. He wonders if the dinner remains are still out by the pool or if Tia started work early enough to tidy that up as well as prepare breakfast.
They walk down to the barn, and Evan and Tatiana show off all the features to Dan, while Jeff stands back and watches with amusement. There is potential mayhem when the siblings want to show off the shower stall, each trying to spray the other with one of the long hoses, but cooler minds prevail and no one gets worse than a soaked shoe. Most of the improvements have gone into the outdoor riding rings. Dan looks at the surface of the dressage ring and the round pen, and then they head over to the grass jumping ring. There’s no sod laid yet, but the ground has been prepared with lots of sand and light loam, and there’s good drainage in all the rings. It all looks great to Dan, and he tells the Kaminskis so.
The interviews are scheduled to take place at the barn, so once they’re done with the tour they just poke around the tack room and the loft, while Jeff is a little more responsible and makes sure that there are some chairs and a table set up in the empty feed room. Evan lays out the game plan. He will start by asking the candidates basic background information. Dan will ask about their experience and try to get an idea of their general knowledge. Jeff will determine their familiarity with the local equestrian community. And Tatiana will ask if the candidates have any questions or would like to add anything. Dan mentions that Robyn is interested in moving out.
Evan beams. “Yeah, Linda told us about that! That’d be great. It’d be good to have someone you already know you can work with.”
Dan doesn’t really want to say it, but he wants to be sure he’s being fair to these people. “It’ll be good even if I don’t come out. She’s been working with the horses for years, so she’d be a really valuable resource for whoever your trainer might be.”
Evan looks like he might want to argue a little, but Jeff quiets him with a nod, and then the first interviewee is there. Dan and Tatiana are both a little nervous, but they make it through the first one, and everything after that is easy. There’s one great candidate, three that would probably be fine, and two that are disastrous. Dan feels a little bad for recommending them, but Evan points out that it’s easy to look good on paper, and weeding people out is the whole point of interviews.
They troop back up to the house for a lunch of homemade soup and sandwiches, and then it’s back to the barn for more interviews. The afternoon candidates are worse than the morning ones, with no one that’s really great, two that might be okay, and three that are out of the question. One doesn’t even show up.
At the end, Evan sums it all up. “Okay, so we’ve got the head trainer position hopefully filled, then there’s two assistant trainers, we were thinking? So if one’s Robyn, and one’s Michelle from this morning? Then we want two barn staff… I say Devin and Sara from this morning.”
“I’d like to see Michelle on a horse, if we’re hiring her to ride, but otherwise that sounds good.” Evan nods at Dan’s comment.
Once they’ve decided on who they want to hire, Evan calls Linda and asks her to take care of contacting them, and then the four head up the hill to the cross-country course. Dan likes what he sees but wants to come back when he gets the opportunity, to double check some of the spacing and the landing surfaces. He has to admit, though, that everything looks really good. Evan has obviously spared no expense, but he’s also hired someone who knows the demands of horses.
They’re walking down from the cross-country course when Dan’s cell rings. He’s a little surprised they get service out so far, but then thinks the Kaminskis could probably have bought their own tower if they had to. He checks the caller display and his mouth goes dry. He reminds himself that there are lots of reasons for a call from the Archer house. There could be a problem with one of the horses, or a question about ordering supplies. But his mind goes immediately to the call he’s been dreading for over a year.
He’s stopped walking and the others have moved a little away to wait for him, but when he doesn’t answer the phone, they look back curiously. Jeff starts back toward him, concern on his face, and Dan kicks into gear and flips the phone open.
“Hello.”
“Dan? It’s Chris.” Chris sounds shaky, and there’s no other reason for him to be calling Dan, especially not from the Archer house. Dan turns his face away from the others. He sees a boulder a few steps away, and moves over to lean against it.
“Yeah, Chris, I’m here.” Dan is almost whispering.
“Danny….” Chris’s voice breaks on the second syllable, and Dan can hear him taking a deep breath over the phone. When he starts again, his voice is stronger. “Justin had a heart attack this afternoon. They say he had an infection, it came on really fast, and it just put too much stress on his body.” Dan knows what’s coming, but he finds that he needs to hear the words. He waits, and finally Chris continues. “He’s gone, Dan. It was really fast, there was no suffering.” Dan nods, and then realizes that Chris can’t see him. It doesn’t seem to matter, as Chris continues anyway. “His parents are with him. They were gonna call you, but they’re pretty wrecked. They said to say that they’ll call later tonight.” Dan nods again. “Dan, are you still there? Danny?”
Dan pulls himself together, at least a little. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“Okay, so we need to get you home. Right? I mean, there’s no rush, in terms of… you know, services or anything. But….”
“Yeah.” Dan realizes that he’s crying, but it’s weird, his voice doesn’t seem to be affected. His brain feels numb, feels like everything is happening far, far away. Dan went away for a day and a half, and Justin died alone.
“Dan, is anybody there with you? Maybe I could talk to someone about travel plans?” Dan doesn’t really understand that. What does Chris have to do with travel plans? But he doesn’t really want to talk to Chris anymore anyway, so he turns around and sees Jeff hovering a few feet away. Evan has his arm around Tatiana’s shoulders, and they’re both pretending to look down toward the house. Dan leans out toward Jeff, phone in hand, and Jeff steps forward and takes it. He holds the phone in one hand and reaches out with the other to grip Dan’s shoulder.
“Hello, Jeff Stevens here. Yeah…. Yeah.” Jeff moves closer to Dan. “Yeah, we’ll
take care of it…. Okay…. Yeah, we’ll give you a call when it’s sorted out…. Okay, bye.”
Jeff folds the phone and puts it in his pocket, and then turns so he’s standing in front of Dan. “I’m sorry,” he says in his low voice, and Dan knows that he is, but he also knows that it doesn’t really matter, doesn’t change anything. The whole world could be sorry, and Justin would still be dead.
Dan isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say or feel. He looks up for a moment, sees the beautiful rolling hills, the distant mountains and the warm afternoon sun, and he hates all of it, hates to think that Justin will never see anything so beautiful, will never see anything again. He’d thought maybe he was used to the idea of Justin’s death, thought that his plan to start saying goodbye would make things easier, but he can’t imagine anything harder than this. He starts to slide forward, as if his legs no longer want to hold him up, but Jeff is there, his strong arms catching Dan’s shoulders, and he leans forward and braces the top of his head against Jeff’s chest. One of Jeff’s hands comes up and runs through Dan’s hair, and they just stay like that for what seems like a long while. At some point, Evan is there, and Jeff is talking to him in low tones, but then Evan is gone, and it’s just Jeff again.
Eventually, Dan lifts his head up. He wipes his face with his sleeve. It’s gross, but he doesn’t have a Kleenex. He looks at Jeff. “I should go.”
Jeff nods slowly, and his touch is gentle as he smooths Dan’s hair back from his face. “Evan’s gone down to get Linda to change your flight. If you’re ready, we should go down and get you packed up.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 38
