Tatiana nods and starts to move away, but Dan can’t help himself. “Hey, Tat? Is your brother around, do you know? I have some stuff to go over with him.”
She shakes her head. “No, he left just after I got up this morning. Said he had a big day at work, probably wouldn’t be home until late.”
Dan feels a bit foolish. Had he expected Evan to abandon his multi-billion-dollar business just to sit around and wait for Dan to want to talk to him? “Oh, yeah, okay. Uh, what about Jeff?”
“He left with Evan. But if there’s something important, you could give them a call. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”
“No. There’s nothing important. I can just catch up with them later.” She grins as she heads back to work, and Dan is left feeling a bit foolish. He had been dreading the conversation with Evan and Jeff, expecting awkwardness and embarrassment, but now that he knows it isn’t going to happen for a while, he feels a bit let down. He shakes his head and focuses on his work. It seems like horses are about the only thing he understands these days.
Chapter 27
DAN RIDES three more horses that day, and the last of them, an off-the-track Thoroughbred called Winston, has such a bad day and is so stubborn about not leg-yielding that Dan’s muscles are almost shaking by the time he finally gets the beast to behave. They manage one properly rounded trip around the ring in each direction and then Dan hops off quickly, grabbing the opportunity to end the training session on a positive note. Winston’s still a little hot, and once he’s got the rider off his back he’s a total sweetheart, with none of the pigheadedness he’d been showing under saddle. So Dan pulls off his tack and walks him with a lead rope and a cooler for a while, then takes him out to the side of the barn and hoses him off. The cool water feels good on Dan, too, and he’s not exactly careful about keeping himself dry.
He’s just finished rinsing his head under the end of the hose when he hears Robyn’s voice. “Oh, there you are!” Dan looks up and sees her just as she finishes stating the obvious. “Ryan’s here.” She gives Dan a quick look-over and then says something under her breath to Ryan. He just grins at her and nods in agreement, and she turns and heads back the way she came.
Ryan holds up Dan’s car keys in one hand, and takes a couple cautious steps forward before coming to a reluctant halt. Dan can’t figure out what the problem is, and then realizes that he’s standing next to twelve hundred pounds of restless animal. Winston is a teddy bear, nudging Dan a little to get back to the bath time, but apparently Ryan isn’t a big fan. Dan grins. It’s nice to see someone else’s vulnerability for a change.
“He’s okay, man. He’s really friendly.” Ryan nods, but doesn’t come any closer. He is looking, though, and Dan remembers that he’s soaking wet from the waist up, and more than a little damp lower down. He holds out his arms in mimicry of Ryan’s move from the night before. “See something interesting?” he asks teasingly. “Wanna come over and have a closer look?”
Ryan chuckles nervously, his eyes cutting from the horse to Dan and then back. “Is there any way you could get rid of the audience?”
“Who, Winston?” Dan shrugs his shoulder in under Winston’s chin, draping one arm up and around his head. “Nah. Winston likes to watch.” Dan grins then but tells himself to stop teasing. Ryan is being a good guy about Dan’s issues, and Dan shouldn’t be working him up unless he’s willing to do something about it. He takes hold of the end of the lead rope and walks toward Ryan, leaving the horse behind. When Dan gets to the end of the rope, he’s still a couple of feet away, but Ryan makes up the difference, stepping forward and eagerly meeting Dan’s mouth with his.
Dan’s feeling a lot more relaxed today. When Ryan brings a hand up to cup his head, he goes with it, and when Ryan’s other hand brushes gently against Dan’s torso, knuckles running along his abs through his soaked shirt, Dan leans into it a little, deepening the kiss and bringing their bodies into contact. He’s vaguely aware that there’s no longer any tension on the lead rope, but he doesn’t think much about it until he feels warm, sweet breath on his cheek and finds Ryan jumping backward in alarm.
Ryan looks like he’s been nuzzled by a bear rather than a horse, but Dan tries to keep a straight face. “Seriously, man, it’s okay. Come on, you should meet him. This is…. You not liking horses is like if I was scared of guitars or something….”
Ryan shakes his head, trying to relax. “What am I supposed to do?”
“I dunno. Come over and say hi?”
“Yeah, he already said hi, thanks!”
“Come on…. Look, I’ll hold his head really snug, okay? So he can’t move. You can just come up and pat him on the neck, or the shoulder.” Dan tightens up the lead rope as promised, and Ryan takes a tentative step forward, then another when Winston doesn’t react. He works his way around to the side, and reaches out to touch the horse’s neck with the tips of his finger.
He jerks them back quickly, and looks at them. “He’s wet.”
“Yeah, dude, we were having a bath.” Dan smiles a little. “Okay, now bring your hand back, and rest the palm of it on his neck for five seconds. Okay?”
“Five seconds.” Ryan looks a little dubious, but he leans forward and puts his hand on Winston’s neck. Dan moves then, one arm still reaching back to hold the lead rope, the other pulling Ryan’s face around for another kiss. Dan puts some effort into this one, working their lips open and bringing his tongue forward to meet Ryan’s eagerness. Ryan’s spare arm wraps around Dan’s back, pulling him in tighter, and Dan doesn’t resist. He does notice when the hand from Winston’s neck moves over to his own, and he pulls his mouth away a little in protest. Ryan seems to know what he’s going to say, and murmurs, “It’s been way more than five seconds,” before finding Dan’s lips again.
It’s not long before Winston gets restless and moves a bit, and Ryan’s attention is distracted long enough for Dan to remember where he is, and remember why making out at work is an especially bad idea given his current circumstance. He pulls away a little, and Ryan lets him go, his eyes running over Dan’s heated face and down over the wet shirt clinging to his body. He shakes his head. “Damn, Robyn was right.”
“Yeah? What’d she say?”
“She said you oughta be illegal,” Ryan rumbles, and Dan ducks over to the other side of Winston before he gets dragged back in.
“Well, illegal at work, at least,” Dan says, as much to himself as to Ryan. Ryan seems to take the warning, though, and takes a step back.
“I brought the truck back out… new fan belt and Donny did a couple other things as well—none of it cost much, and he said you definitely needed it done.”
Dan sighs and nods, has a quick flash back to Evan’s offer to buy him a new truck. He knows it hadn’t been meant seriously, at least not entirely, but he wonders what it would be like to have that kind of money. Thanks to the back pay from the Archers and the generous moving allowance to get to California, Dan has savings in the bank for pretty much the first time in his life, but he’s been poor too long to take it for granted, and he doesn’t want to blow it on a new truck. Or on truck repairs, really, but at least they’re cheaper. “Okay, yeah. Is there a bill?”
Ryan nods. “I left it in the truck. I was hoping I could get a lift back into town?”
“Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for helping out with this.” Dan looks down at himself. “Are you in a hurry? I should probably change.”
Ryan checks his watch. “I’m supposed to be at work in about an hour, and I need to put on my work clothes. So maybe if we left here in forty minutes or so?”
“Yeah, that’s good. Let me just dry Winston off a bit, and then he can go in the pasture and I can get a quick shower and we’ll go.”
“A shower, now? Jesus, you were just about killing me with the ‘changing’ talk, and now there’s a shower?” Ryan’s voice is teasing, but there’s heat in his eyes.
“Well, if you want to drive into town with someone who smells like a horse, I gues
s that’s your call.”
Ryan grins. “I wouldn’t mind the drive, but I was gonna ask if you wanted to have dinner at the restaurant. Mondays are slow, so I’ll probably have a bit of spare time. And the paninis miss you.”
Dan can feel his mouth starting to water. “Damn, absolutely. Bring it on!” A part of his head reminds him that this is three days in a row that he’s spent time with Ryan, and that’s not exactly casual, but he ignores it in favor of thinking about the paninis.
Dan runs the sweat scraper over Winston and puts some oil on his hooves to help deal with the dry California climate, and then turns him out in the paddock and calls in to tell Robyn that he’s leaving. She nods and waves, and he and Ryan pile into the truck for the short trip to the guest house. Dan’s mostly dry by now, but one good thing about having a cheap old truck is the vinyl seat covers. He really doesn’t need to worry about wrecking the upholstery.
It’s a bit awkward when they get to the house. Obviously Dan’s not going to ask Ryan to wait in the truck, but he doesn’t want to make it seem like he’s inviting him in, either. Ryan solves the problem by commenting on the view from the porch, and asking if he can sit out there while Dan cleans up. Dan doesn’t know if Ryan’s being really tactful or just likes looking at mountains, but he doesn’t complain either way, and promises to just be a couple minutes.
He barely rinses himself off in the shower and then pulls on clean clothes and heads down the stairs. When he gets to the bottom he hears voices on the porch, and proceeds a bit more cautiously. He looks out through the window and sees Ryan talking to Jeff. They both seem relaxed. It looks like Jeff is telling a story, and Ryan is listening happily, interjecting comments now and then. Dan has no idea how his life got so complicated, and he almost wishes that other people could be a bit more uncomfortable about things, to keep him from feeling like quite such a spaz. But it’s Ryan and Jeff, so expecting them to be anything but laid back might be asking a lot.
He waits until there seems to be a pause in the conversation, and they both look up with smiles when he opens the door and steps out.
“Hey, Dan,” Jeff says. “Evan’s working late, so I just dropped by to see if you wanted to get some dinner, but it seems like I’m a little too late.” As usual, Dan has trouble reading his face.
“I said he should come with. I’m gonna be working most of the time, so it’d be good for you to have some company,” Ryan volunteers.
“Yeah, that’d be great,” Dan says. He thinks he means it. “I guess you’ve probably already had the paninis at Zio’s?”
Jeff nods. “Yeah—they’re worth the trip, no doubt. But I don’t want to intrude.” Jeff gives him another unreadable look, and Dan sighs internally. If the man is honestly trying to communicate with Dan, what happened to his realization that Dan can’t read people?
Dan glances at Ryan, who gives him a laidback shrug in return. Jesus, enough with the body language. Dan decides to lead by example. “I’d be happy to have you along, if you want to come.” There. Clarity.
Ryan nods. “And you’d get to ride in that fine piece of American craftsmanship—they don’t make ’em like that anymore.” He nods at the truck, and Dan gives him a cautious look. Is he making fun or being genuine? Ryan grins and holds his hands up in a ‘don’t shoot’ gesture. “Seriously, man—it’s a great truck.”
Dan’s still suspicious, but he lets it go and turns to Jeff. “If Evan’s working late, should we bring Tat?”
Jeff nods. “But you’ve got to go to your place first, right?” he asks Ryan, who agrees. Jeff turns to Dan. “Why don’t you drive Ryan in, I’ll go and see what Tat’s up to, and we’ll meet you there. ’Cause God knows she’s not going to appear in public straight from the barn.” He glances at Dan’s freshly washed self and grins at Ryan. “It’s always the pretty ones who end up getting vain.”
“Oh, excuse me for not wanting to track horse shit all over your restaurant—” Dan begins, but the other two just laugh at him. Dan is starting to wonder whether it’s a good idea to let Ryan and Jeff spend any more time together.
They need to get going, so Jeff heads off to see what Tat’s up to—he’s got Dan’s cell number if they decide not to meet them. Dan and Ryan drive quietly for a while, and then Ryan clears his throat carefully.
“So—really never anything between you two?” He doesn’t sound threatened, just interested, and maybe a little skeptical.
Dan isn’t sure how much he’s allowed to say. He doesn’t really want to violate Jeff and Evan’s privacy. “Not really. Lots of… I don’t know, not flirting… just sort of an awareness, you know?” Ryan nods. “But nothing’s ever actually happened.”
“Yet,” Ryan adds, and again, he doesn’t sound upset by the idea.
“Why, did he say something?” Dan doesn’t think Jeff is the ‘staking a claim’ type, but he’s been surprised before.
“Nah, just… I was aware of the awareness, you know?” Ryan shrugs.
“Yeah.” Dan doesn’t really think he has much to add, so if Ryan’s okay with this, he’s happy to let it go. They’re almost in town before Ryan speaks again.
“I don’t really feel like I’ve got any right to say anything about that,” he says softly. “But, you know—keep me in the loop, okay? No surprises?”
Dan wants to deny it all, wants to tell Ryan that there’s nothing to worry about. But he also wants to be honest. “Yeah. Yeah, I will. If there’s ever anything.” He glances over, and Ryan just smiles.
They park behind Ryan’s apartment, and it’s the same awkward situation as at Dan’s house, only this time it’s Ryan, so it’s not awkward at all. “Hey, come on up for a second. You can see how the other half lives.”
“Shit, man, I am the other half. I just got a good rental.”
Ryan nods as if he’s humoring him. “Yeah, okay.”
They head up the stairs and into the apartment. It’s about what Dan expected, and a hell of a lot nicer than a lot of places he’s lived. There’s a living area and a bathroom and a bedroom. The only things that look like they’re worth anything are the stereo and the guitars. Ryan says, “Make yourself at home. I’ll just be a minute.” He heads into the bedroom, and Dan flops down on the couch. It’s ugly but pretty comfortable.
Ryan is out in just a minute, pants changed, buttoning up a white shirt. It looks beautiful against his golden skin, and Dan has a sudden urge to stand up and try to persuade Ryan to change directions, start undoing buttons instead. Ryan catches him looking but just smiles a little. “Don’t you go starting something,” he warns. “I’ve got places to be.”
Dan grins and looks at his watch. “Come on, now, we’ve got a little time….”
Ryan bites his lip a little as he walks over and holds both hands out to Dan. Dan grabs hold and Ryan hauls him to his feet, and Dan tries to keep leaning into him, but Ryan holds him off. “Oh, no. No way. I want more than a little time with you.”
Dan gives Ryan his best seductive look, and judging by the way Ryan sways toward him, it’s pretty good. “Maybe a little now, a little more later….” He’s joking, teasing, but he finds that he means it too. He’s not quite sure what happened. Maybe the more outrageous suggestion from Jeff and Evan had made the simpler relationship with Ryan seem safer. One way or another, he seems to have gotten over most of his concerns about getting physical. Of course, he has no idea whether that will continue or if he’ll have another little freak-out, but he’s feeling pretty damn frisky right now.
Unfortunately, Ryan seems to have a little more self-control, or he’s a little less interested. Dan chooses to ignore that possibility, but he can’t ignore the way that Ryan is working his way toward the door. “Seriously, not even a little?”
Ryan pauses and looks at him, and Dan seizes the opportunity. He surges forward and grabs hold of Ryan, pushing him back against the wall as their mouths join together. Dan works to loosen the carefully tucked in shirt and then his hands are on Ryan’s stomach, his chest,
and he can feel Ryan’s sudden gasp. Ryan tries to turn his head away to lower the intensity, but Dan gets one of his hands up there, holds his face and gently brings him back, slows a little, makes things deeper but less frantic. Ryan is still breathing in short little hitches, but his hands are up and on Dan, running under his shirt, along his back… then Ryan’s hands come between them, and he’s easing Dan away, pushing his forehead against Dan’s to separate their lips, and they both stand there for a minute, breathing heavily, not moving.
Ryan finds his voice first. “That was not a little.” He doesn’t sound too upset about it, though.
“Shit. It really wasn’t.” Dan looks at Ryan a little sheepishly. “I don’t know what to say—waiter kink?”
Ryan laughs and pushes him away, tucks his shirt back into his pants. “Excellent, I’m all for it. Usually I get the musician kink, so at least you’re original.”
“Fuck, yeah, I forgot about that. Damn, get back over here.” Dan pretends to reach out for Ryan, but he’s just playing. The intensity of his response has left him a little freaked out, and he’s not really sorry that they have to go out in public now.
Ryan grins at him as he backs up a little farther. “Not that I’m complaining, but what happened to taking it slow?”
Dan just shakes his head. “Fuck if I know.” He shakes his head. “But I don’t think I’m complaining, either.”
“Good. But, seriously, I do have to go to work. If I’d known I’d have such a good reason for being late tonight, I wouldn’t have been late all those other times… but as it is, I’m pretty much on my last chance with them.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 54
