Lil’s heart thundered against his chest. He got down on his knees and patted around in search of the khakis he’d thrown off to the side and almost shouted with joy when he felt the soft fabric. He pulled out the foil packet and travel-sized lube. He crawled over to where Grier was still standing and rolled the condom on his lover’s swollen shaft, followed by several squirts of lube to get him ready.
He handed over the lube, turned, put his head down on his hands, and lifted his ass in anticipation. “Ready, Grier.”
Lil felt Grier rubbing his lubricated thumb against his asshole, and he squeezed down as it slipped inside, moaning loudly as he felt Grier loosening him up. Grier bent down and kissed Lil’s shoulder without removing his finger from its tight prison. When he felt Lil relax, he inserted one more finger. “So tight, babe.”
Lil exhaled, willing himself to relax so he could open up for Grier. “Now,” Lil urged. He was so wound up he knew he’d come within minutes but not before he felt the delicious sting that would turn into mind-blowing pleasure. The breath whooshed out of him as Grier stabbed him forcefully, pegging his gland with each downward thrust until Lil convulsed around Grier’s cock, shooting out jets of semen all over the deck while Grier filled the latex reservoir with his own spend.
“Oh God… Lil,” Grier sighed, collapsing onto the sturdy back that held him in place. “I needed that so badly.”
Lil reached around and tapped Grier’s butt cheek. “Any time, sweet boy.”
Grier pulled off the condom, tied it, and dropped it in the trash, conveniently located off to the side. The last thing he wanted was to insult his hosts with day-old condoms.
Lil placed his hand on Grier’s lower back, guiding him toward the hot tub, hoping that this would help to relax him and erase that angry scowl that had marred his gorgeous face. They moaned with pleasure as the jets of water pulsed around them. He handed Grier a beer and watched him attack his bottle, swallowing the contents in a few gulps. The fiery red aura that had surrounded Grier earlier had evaporated in the wake of the sexual release. He was mellower, playfully splashing Lil from his side of the pool. “You want to talk about your day?” Lil asked gently.
“Not right now.”
Lil grabbed another beer and handed it to Grier. “I’m here, whenever you want to vent.”
“Thanks, Lil. Did you do anything fun today?”
“I toured the Chicago Board of Trade Building.”
“What did you think?”
“I couldn’t get into it, if you want to know the truth. I left and ended up on Michigan Avenue instead.”
“So you melted some plastic,” Grier teased. “Refurbish your wardrobe?”
Lil put his beer on the deck behind him and scooted over to Grier’s side. “I refurbished your wardrobe,” he whispered, “at Victoria’s Secret.”
“Lil.” Grier’s husky voice was like a lightning bolt to his groin.
Lil straddled the brunet and began kissing him, shocked that his cock was perking up with interest after such a short interval. “Who needs Viagra with you around?”
“You won’t need that shit for a long, long time,” Grier said.
Lil cut his words off with another kiss, and soon they were grinding against each other, intent on chasing another orgasm. Lil felt Grier’s cock growing hard against his own erection, and he reached in the water to grasp both organs, stroking in a leisurely push and pull as he continued to ply Grier with deep kisses. It wasn’t long before they were both gasping and coming in a united release.
Lil slumped against Grier’s chest and buried his face in the hollow between his neck and shoulder. Grier wrapped his arms around Lil automatically, and they listened to each other’s thumping heart. “Can you spend the night?”
“I’d better not. I get Luca tomorrow, and I want to be home when Jillian brings him over. I don’t want her to be able to use anything against me.”
“Grier, what happened today?”
“A lot.”
“I can’t help if you won’t talk about it.”
“I don’t want to burden you, Lil. It’s not fair.”
“Fair, shmare… don’t be silly. I’m asking because I’m interested.”
“Are you?” Grier sounded surprise.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“I hoped.”
“Talk to me, love.”
“I came out to my dad this morning.”
“And you’re still alive to talk about it. That’s a good sign,” Lil teased.
Grier laughed. “I suppose. He was actually halfway decent. He didn’t throw me out of the truck.”
“Look at this positively. It’s one less hurdle.”
“The discussion isn’t over by any means,” Grier said bitterly.
“It takes time for some parents.”
“Were you lucky or was it a struggle for you as well?”
“My mother knew I was gay before I did,” Lil said with a grin. “She’s quite a character with a flair for the dramatic. Her great love is theater, and we’d go as often as possible. The idea of having a gay son never bothered her. It was the fear of what others could do to me that made her protective. She’d heard all the horror stories of gay bashings and feared for my safety, especially because I’d inherited her love of playacting and drama. I was quite outrageous in my younger days,” Lil admitted. “What you’re seeing now is a toned-down version.”
“What I see when I look at you is a very confident man, Lil. It’s a part of you I find extremely attractive. I’m tired of skulking around in my world. I wish I could be as open as you, or even Jody and Clark.”
“Sweetie, Clark had his own journey, and it wasn’t an easy one. Jody’s parents are the opposite end of the spectrum. They’ve always been very understanding and supportive of Jody’s orientation. We all have to work with the hand we’re dealt. You’ll find your way eventually, and when you’ve come to terms with your choices, things will fall into place. Your family will learn to accept you for who you are if you’ve accepted it first.”
“I’m comfortable with my sexuality, Lil, but I worry that if I ever try and force Jillian to publicly acknowledge me as Luca’s father, it may damage my chances to get any sort of custody.”
“Grier, these are not medieval times. Gay men are allowed to marry in many states and have families. Courts have been awarding custody to more men than you know. Are you seriously thinking of bringing this situation to a head?”
“Jillian is changing before my eyes. I don’t know if it’s Ali’s influence, or if she’s always felt this way about me. I really thought we had an understanding about Luca, but she said some things yesterday, and even tonight, which make me question her true feelings.”
“Is your brother a homophobe?”
“I guess you could call him that.”
“Has he always felt this way?”
“It’s gotten worse in the last year or so. I’m used to him bossing me around, and making snide remarks about my weakness for cock, but after Mom died, he was determined to protect Dad from my homosexuality. He’s convinced that I’ll be the death of our father.”
“What gives him the right to be judge and jury?”
“I guess being the oldest.”
“You don’t strike me as being very submissive.”
“I’m not, but I love my dad, and I would do anything to avoid hurting him.”
“You seem to be putting everyone’s feelings ahead of yours.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve said yourself that you’ve put your life on hold for Luca. But it’s not just him, is it? Everyone else comes first—your father, your brother, Jillian. When will it be your turn?”
THE ACCUSATION stung, but it was said in such a loving way that Grier pushed back his instinctive need to lash out and defend himself.
“I don’t know, Lil.”
“Don’t you think it’s time for you to be number one for a change?”
“What about Luca?”
/>
“You won’t be any good to him if you continue to let circumstances dictate your life. I know it’s easier said than done, and I have no clue how Jillian or her family thinks, but I can see that you’re troubled. Grier, you need to stand up for yourself.”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“Your inaction is hurting Luca… he needs to know that he has a father, and he wasn’t abandoned. God only knows what Jillian’s told him. Do you?”
“She told Luca that his father got sick and had to go away.”
“So, she’s basically said he’s dead?”
“No, but Luca has assumed that his father is with my mother in heaven because that’s where people go when they get sick and can’t come back.”
“What are you going to tell him if he pins you down for details?”
“I have no idea.”
“Does he go to school yet?”
“He’s in first grade.”
“I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you anything. Kids aren’t known for their tact. It’s a wonder he hasn’t come home with a thousand questions.”
“Not to be mean, but what makes you the expert? How do you know what will or will not happen in school?”
“I was Luca, and when people asked me about my own father, it hurt. My thoughts of being so insignificant that my dad could just leave, without any explanation, damaged me for a long time.”
“I’m sorry… I had no idea.”
“But I do, Grier, and I don’t want Luca to ever feel he’s not worthy of being loved.”
“Shit… did you feel that way?”
“For years.”
“How’d you get over it?”
“I did a lot of stupid things until my mother found a really good therapist,” Lil said, smiling.
“What stupid things?”
“What didn’t I do? For one thing, I was wildly promiscuous. The clichéd club boy constantly seeking attention and equating it with love.”
“I’m trying to visualize this.”
Lil laughed. “Believe me, I was quite the player. Jody can attest to my wicked ways. Although, by the time he and I met in college, I’d pretty much resolved my daddy issues.”
“I thought you had a stepfather?”
“I do, and he’s a great guy. Nonetheless, it didn’t take away the truth that my own flesh and blood ran out on me without ever looking back.”
“You never heard from your real dad again?”
“Nope.”
“What an asshole.”
“I don’t think about him anymore.”
“What was your biggest hang-up as a child?”
“Validation… I needed to know I was worth something.”
“Didn’t your mother show you how much she loved you?”
“All the time, but it wasn’t enough. The one person who meant the most had rejected me.”
“Do you think Luca will end up hating me?”
“He loves you very much, Grier. I’ve seen how you two interact, but the longer you keep the truth from him, the more difficult it will be in the end. You don’t want to wait until he’s an angry teenager.”
“I love him so much. I lie awake at night and think about his future. I want him to have choices I’ve never had.”
“Why didn’t Jillian tell the truth? Claiming rape is so extreme.”
“Jillian never made mistakes. The three of us, Jake, Ali, and I, were constantly getting into trouble, but she was little Miss Perfect―straight-A student, president of her class, head cheerleader, and a volunteer at the local hospital. She was the apple of her parents’ eyes. Crying rape was preferable to admitting she’d messed up. When she told her parents she was pregnant and insisted on having the child, because they are Catholic and don’t believe in abortion, it elevated her to the status of sainthood.”
“Weren’t they interested in finding the guy and pressing charges?”
“She refused to file a police report and told her parents that if they insisted, she’d leave home, which threw them into a fucking tizzy.”
“I can’t believe she got away with it.”
“Her parents are nonconfrontational, Lil. They were so grateful that she had survived the supposed rape, it never occurred to them to go against her wishes. They rallied around her, and when Luca was born, he became everyone’s child. Her parents took turns babysitting, so she could go to college, and when I got back from my two-year stint at Illinois State, I got on the babysitting rotation.”
“I still don’t understand the reasoning behind the lie.”
“I guess you’d have to know how the family works to understand the mindset.”
“Can you give me an overview?”
“The Garcias are immigrants who’ve worked damn hard to give their kids a good life, sometimes working double shifts to be able to provide the creature comforts they never had. They are well-respected within the Filipino community and had high hopes for Jillian, who epitomized their American dream. It didn’t include single parenthood. In fact, her dad always said there wasn’t anyone out there worthy of his daughter.”
“That’s pretty normal for most parents, isn’t it? No one’s good enough.”
“Yet, they thought I was,” Grier snorted. “Our parents always joked about us getting married.”
“Which fed into Jillian’s obsession.”
“I guess. Tita Nita and Tito Enteng love Ali and me almost as much as they love their own kids. It would have killed them to know that I’d ruined their daughter, and it would have created a massive split between our parents.”
“If they were such good friends, they’d have talked about it and worked through the crisis.”
“Jillian didn’t seem to think so, and let’s face it. She knows them better than we do.”
“Don’t you think this was more about Jillian’s pride than the truth?”
“What do you mean?”
“She set her eyes on you, and when her plan backfired, she couldn’t face the public shame of being rejected, so she created this ridiculous rape scenario. It was easier than admitting she was in love with a gay man who had no intention of being her husband.”
“You think she’s that manipulative? Our sex was a spur of the moment thing.”
“Maybe on your part, but if she’s the overachiever you describe, she knew exactly what she was doing.”
“I did offer to marry her.”
“It would have been a farce.”
“It’s a lot to think about, Lil.”
“I think it would be time well-spent since Luca’s future is going to be affected by any decisions you make. Are you positive no one knows the truth?”
“I’m sure.”
“Didn’t you have second thoughts about perpetuating the lie once you held Luca in your arms?”
Grier’s eyes sparkled as he recalled the many nights he’d acted out his frustration and his anger. “I had my moments.”
“With your leather buddies?”
“How’d you guess?”
“Been there, Grier. You chose one venue; I chose another. We’re not that different.”
“I experimented with BDSM, hoping the lash would take away the guilt, but I realized it wasn’t my thing. Fortunately, my leather buddies, as you call them, turned out to be good friends and set me on the road to recovery. They introduced me to Harley-Davidson, a friendship I still maintain, and I got into the whole biker scene. I was comfortable around these men, and I didn’t need to explain why I enjoyed road trips or getting off on a new tattoo. They accepted me, with all my flaws, unlike Jillian and Ali who continued to try and change me. You should have seen Jillian’s face the first time I walked in with my arm all inked up. I thought she’d implode,” Grier snorted. “Ali couldn’t have been more shocked if I’d cut off my dick.”
“God forbid.” Lil kissed him on the lips. He was still straddling Grier, and he ground his hips against Grier’s cock. “That would have been a major tragedy.”
Grier licke
d his way into Lil’s mouth and plied him with hot kisses that left them both moaning. “My cock couldn’t agree more.”
“I’m aware, sweet thing. What say we take this downstairs?”
“Let’s do it.” Grier slid Lil off his lap, and they grabbed their towels and wrapped them around their waists.
The house had been completely remodeled, and although the exterior was your typical brownstone, the inside was the epitome of Italian chic. The floors were slate, with area rugs in colorful geometric designs, and all the fixtures were sleekly modern. There were four levels to the house—the basement, which contained the guest room, the main floor, where the kitchen, living, and dining rooms were located, and then the third floor, which was essentially a master bedroom suite. The top floor was really the rooftop terrace that served as the “entertainment” area, with the hot tub and an enclosed TV room off to the side. There was a circular staircase that connected all the floors and an elevator for easier navigation.
“I like the interior design of this house,” Grier commented as they waited for the elevator to reach the top floor.
“The owners have spent a small fortune. These doors, for instance,” Lil commented, pulling open the beveled glass that led into the pocket-sized elevator. “They could have used standard doors but chose these high-end ones instead. The entire house is littered with fixtures that are over and above the norm, which is what makes it so special.”
“Are they mostly Italian?” Grier asked.
“The bathroom fixtures are made in Italy, but the kitchen is all American.”
“If I were to do the interiors of a house, it would be similar to this,” Grier mused, “but it’s never going to happen. Dad hasn’t changed his mind about my career choice. He’s more than willing to fund my continuing education so long as it’s a manly profession, not something a woman would pursue.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 139
