Crowd noise settled around them as they grew quiet. Maddy sighed heavily and glared at the beignets as if they’d just threatened her with bodily harm. “Yeah. Too sweet,” she muttered.
“Look, Maddy, I didn't mean to...”
Maddy straightened in her seat, her eyes locking on Grant’s. “When I say that the men who are following us are capable of murder, I am speaking from experience.”
Grant’s eyes slowly moved back to her and remained patiently silent as Maddy struggled with whatever she wanted--no needed--to say.
“They killed my family. Murdered them all.”
Someone dropped a glass bottle a few tables away and cursed.
Grant stared at her with wide eyes.
“They held me at this facility just outside of Georgia. They told me if I tried to escape, they'd kill them all,” Maddy continued, her eyes never leaving Grant’s. “That’s how they were able to get me to cooperate for so long. But eventually, I discovered the truth. They had killed them a short time after they had kidnapped me.”
Unable to maintain eye-contact any longer, Grant looked down to the careworn hands folded upon the tabletop, registering their condition for the first time. For a young woman still in her mid-twenties, she had the hands of a forty year old.
He could muster no words of comfort for her. “God, Maddy,” was all he could manage.
“But they didn't tell me right away. They sent Jeremy’s high school football scores and the improvements Daddy was making to the kitchen. They tried to make me believe that everyone was so supportive. Like I was in summer camp.”
“I'm so sorry,” he managed in a small voice, his eyes finding her face again.
“Daddy…” she began then stopped abruptly when the emotion got the better of her. She took a deep hitching breath and continued. “He was the one who liked Louis Prima and Chicago.” She laughed through the tears that streamed down her face. “He used to play it so loud that the house would shake with the sound of that brass.” She closed her eyes and put her hands over her ears. “But it was like a sanctuary of sound, y’know? A strong protective wall. Just like Daddy.” She opened her eyes and dragged a sleeve across her face in irritation. “I guess Sadie read me like a book,” she chuckled.
Grant studied her with a fresh perspective.
“There were even pictures of them sent to me. It was so... grotesque what they did, so creatively evil, that I began to think that these people weren't human. Maybe they were demons. Maybe I was in Hell. Maybe I'm being punished.”
Gamblin’, Grant could Sadie say clearly in his head. That’s your demon, is it?
Grant nodded, feeling guilty for all the moments he may have harbored ill will toward the girl sitting with him. Here he was thinking that he was a victim of circumstance when, unlike her, he had brought everything down on himself. “Sounds familiar,” he muttered.
“Are you still married, Grant?”
Grant just stared expressionlessly at Maddy.
She reached out and touched his ring finger and he twitched slightly but managed not to withdraw his hand. “I never asked before because I know it's none of my business.”
Grant lowered his head, nibbling his lip slightly. For the first time, the possibility of sharing the source of his pain occurred to him as a possibility.
Maddy blinked and sucked in a breath, her eyes going out of focus.
She knew.
What he had just witnessed was an honest reaction on her part. She had reacted as if he had uttered the actual words instead of conceiving the thought.
Despite that, he knew he had to say it aloud. After all, it was a foregone conclusion now, wasn’t it? If she knew now, then he must eventually tell her, right?
The unassailable logic paired with the implausibility of the thing made his temple throb.
If nothing else he had experienced today had already convinced him of these abilities that she claimed, this singular moment did.
Grant felt a sudden heat around the edges of his eyes and he fought to maintain control over his emotions as he formed the words.
“She was murdered by Rudy’s boss. A man named Arturo Torres,” he told her.
When he looked up again, Maddy wore a shocked expression, her face pale, but just below that surface he could see that she wasn’t completely surprised. In fact, her expression seemed to say: Now it makes sense. Now I understand.
She waited patiently for him to elaborate, but he returned to his coffee instead.
After a while, Maddy realized that there would be no more.
“Was she your soul mate, Grant?”
Grant patiently collected his thoughts, trying to pull them into a shape that resembled words. It had been a long, long time since he’d attempted to articulate his feelings to a woman, any woman.
“I didn't know I was capable of being a man until I found her,” he finally told her. “Since she died, nothing in my life has made sense.”
Including the last two days, Grant contemplated darkly.
Grant dragged the container of beignets back over to his side of the table and began to eat again until he had finished them all. After he had wiped his face, he realized that she had been watching him the whole time with a sad smile on her face.
“I think the key to finding your soul mate is finding someone who is like a family member you've never met. When you do, it's like, ‘Oh, it's you. I remember you now.’” After a moment, she lowered her eyes. “I’ve never found anyone like that,” she lied.
She peered up to see if he’d bought her thinly veiled deception, but he simply stared in a thoughtful stupor down at the empty beignet container. Had he even heard her?
Gazing at the man before her, she recognized that he was losing himself in memories, slipping further and further away from her. But she couldn’t allow that. She needed him. For her own survival and…
Examining her feelings she realized, that what she was feeling was actual jealousy. Not a general kind of jealousy at the fact that she had never had a relationship as passionate as theirs had seemed to be.
But instead, that the other woman had had him. This man sitting before her.
Oh no, she thought. How could I let this happen? I tried to be careful.
Then the answer came back to her.
Of course, you’ve developed feelings. He’s your lifeline. You’ve been relying on him since you left Houston. It’s natural that you formed a bond with him. But you have to realize that this is simply your survival instinct kicking in. Nothing more.
Maddy took a long drink of her coffee and tried to subdue the feelings of envy rising within her heart. “What was her name?” she said a little too accusatorily.
Grant looked up after a few moments as if regaining consciousness. “Lara. Her name was Lara.”
“Tell me about her?”
This other woman.
“She was five six. Dark hair.”
“Something private, Grant.” Then when she realized that she had asked with a bit of a tone to her voice, she added, “Please.”
His eyes came unfocused and he stared beyond her.
He’s looking through me, she realized. As if I’m not even here.
“She used to trace words on my arm with her finger when a dinner date with other couples got too boring,” he told her. “She always seemed to know the exact moment when my tolerance was at its breaking point.”
Maddy watched Grant with a sad smile until his eyes eventually refocused on her face. “Would she have found me a boring date, Grant?”
Grant gave a little ironic chuckle. “No, you would have been a memorable one, Maddy.”
“Thank you,” she said, reaching out to touch his arm but drawing just short.
What the hell is wrong with you, she questioned herself. Nothing has changed between you both. If you start acting erratically, you’ll only give him a reason to leave.
He’d never do that, she answered herself.
“Well, that explains why you still we
ar it,” she said, pointing at his ring finger.
He examined it at a distance and gave a sad smile. “You see now why you bet on the wrong horse?”
“No,” she said resolutely, “I didn’t.”
“Well, then you’re naïve… and wrong,” he answered, looking away.
She wanted to tell him how romantic he was. That his image of a broken down horse was seen by her instead as a chivalrous steed. But all that sounded only beautiful echoing through her exhausted mind, swollen with emotion. She knew the moment the words left her mouth they would sound hallow and infantile. So, she keep her silence.
“I wish that was all there was,” he replied with a deep sigh. “Oh, don’t get me wrong, there was no shortage of romance. But the reason I wear the ring is to never forget.”
The way he said the words “never forget” felt bitterly cold to her.
There was a dread to her voice when she finally asked the question: “Never forget what?”
“That I was the reason she was murdered,” he stated bluntly, his eyes meeting hers. “Because I was addicted to gambling. Torres entered our lives because of me.”
It was exactly as Sadie had warned her.
Death has taken his soul a long time ago and he's been courting it like a jilted lover ever since. Sugah, that man just ready to die.
Now she felt like an idiot for dredging up the memory just when he was starting to act like a human being. Served her right, she thought, for being selfish enough to want to know his past. About Lara.
Well, it was too late to take it back now. It was as good a time as any to address the elephant in the room.
“Grant?”
The way she said his name triggered an alarm somewhere in his soul. “What?”
“Do you want to die?”
Grant stared blankly at her, feeling like a child caught messing with something dangerous that he knew he shouldn’t have touched.
She could see that he was calculating the best way to lie to her. “After everything we’ve been through, the least you can do is be honest with me,” she shot, injecting a bit of venom into her tone. “Once I’m out of the picture, you’re going to go right back to slowly poisoning yourself, aren’t you?”
Grant lowered his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“We need to talk about this, Grant,” she replied. “Or have you forgotten since you took on the role as my bodyguard that I saved you first. A couple of times, if I recall. So, you owe me something.”
He fired a glare at her that broke ineffectually over her stony expression like a wave upon a boulder. “I never asked for that.”
“True suicides never do.”
Flinching at the sharp edge of her comment, Grant crushed the empty paper container sitting between them and tossed it into the nearest trashcan. “There’s a casino at the end of the Riverwalk,” he told her, rising to his feet. “It’s a place that stays open twenty-four hours and is always filled with people.”
“Genius,” she said, her eyes softening. Noticing that he was already standing, she hopped to her feet. “I thought you didn’t know anything about this city.”
“An addict always knows where to get his fix. Back in my heyday, I’d always meant to come here. Maybe see just how far down I could crawl to the rocky bottom,” he said, giving her an ironic snort. “Real life intruded on my plans.”
She stared at him and he stared back. “Are you finished,” she snapped.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “I think we should separate here.”
“I didn’t realize that you were on a schedule too, or did you see the moment of your own death as well?”
“Fine,” Grant growled, starting slowly past her back toward Decatur Street and she rushed dutifully after him. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
He slowed his pace for her and cast a look at her face to assess her state of mind. “I’ll get you safely to the entrance of the casino, but I can’t go inside.”
Maddy met his eyes and lowered her head in silent affirmation.
True he could never accompany her inside. It would be the same as asking an alcoholic to spend the night in a bar without having a drink. It was the perfect hiding place, she knew. If she agreed, this would be the end of their association.
She would truly be on her own again.
21
Grant and Maddy made their way down the Riverwalk in silence along the banks of the Mississippi. Off to their left, a paddleboat drifted serenely in the distance, as the sounds of Dixieland trumpets floated back to them on the wind.
As Grant glanced around them—suspicious at the lack of people--Maddy slowed slightly as she watched the riverboat. “I really wanted to see Louis Armstrong's cornet,” she said longingly under her breath.
“C'mon,” he grunted, turning in front of the Audubon Aquarium and heading back toward Canal Street. He could just make out the fountains in front of the casino in the distance.
“You ever think about how many places you'll never visit, how many strangers you'll never meet, how many secrets you'll never learn?”
“Why are you talking like this again?”
“Like what?”
“Apocalyptic.”
Maddy studied Grant. She shook her head in wonder at his observation. “You’re right, I am,” she admitted.
“So, what’s the problem?” he asked. “The casino is within sight. You’re almost home. Once we get you inside, all you have to do is wait until morning, right?”
Maddy was silent, her pace unconsciously slowing.
“Right?”
“They haven’t stopped.” She traded a look with him. “Images of the bayou. The gunshots. The End Times vision.”
“But I don’t understand,” Grant slowed and fell into step with her again. “The casino is the right move. I’m sure of it.”
Maddy simply looked up at Grant with concern and shrugged.
“God, I need another one of Horace’s beers,” Grant commented, running his hand through the back of his hair in obvious exasperation. “Tell me again everything you saw.”
“I’m in a bayou. I see a big cypress tree and grey pelicans. Someone is holding a gun to my head. There are gunshots.”
“Wait! What does this someone look like?” Grant demanded.
“It’s just a silhouette. No detail.”
“Am I with you?”
“No,” she responded, glancing furtively over at him.
“You know this for sure? You die and I’m not with you?”
“Yes, Grant.”
Grant cursed under his breath, increasing his pace. It took him a few moments to realize that Maddy was no longer beside him. Then he heard the soft weeping.
He turned to find her standing immobile, both arms wrapped around her mid-section insecurely as she looked over at the casino.
Grant rushed back to her and put a hand across her shoulder.
She clutched at his arm almost defensively. “I’m sorry. I thought I'd be able to handle this if I knew what was coming. What to expect. I didn't know it would be this hard. Grant, I'm so scared.”
Grant stood looking out at the casino with anxious eyes. His heart began to race at the thought of the electronic pinging of the machines, the cards sliding elegantly across the soft green felt, the sound of the colored chips as they began to stack up into a pile in front of him.
Unconsciously, his mouth began to water.
No, I can’t do this again, he thought. I can’t.
Grant reached out, his hand hovering just above her hair but stopping just short.
“I won't leave you, Maddy. I promise.”
Maddy peered up at Grant. Her faces brightened slightly. “Y-You mean it?”
He nodded, turning slowly but resolutely back toward Canal and the beckoning fountains, glistening like an oasis in the Louisiana heat.
“But you’ve got to promise me something, Maddy.”
“Anything,” she quickly replied, starting them forwar
d again with her arms still wrapped around his left arm.
“You can’t let me sit at a table,” he told her. “In fact, it’s probably best if we avoid the machines too.”
Maddy studied his face with concern. “Yeah, I’m sure there’s a buffet restaurant or something.”
“Yeah, a buffet sounds really, really good. I’m starved,” he groaned. “Fried dough and coffee burns through the engine fast.”
With just a few yards from Canal Street left to go, the black sedan screeched to a halt just in front of them.
For a moment, Grant stared at it in disbelieving wonder, the odds that this could be happening so close to their destination simply not registering within his tired brain.
Then Grant came to his senses and rushed into a defensive stance in front of Maddy, pulling her behind him. They began backing away as one of the Blank Men stepped out of the passenger seat. He looked one way then the other, confident in the fact that there were no witnesses.
It’s Bert, the tall one. The thought raced through Grant’s mind as he gazed upon the other man in the street before him, standing in the stark afternoon sunlight in a dark suit and black-out sunglasses like an object “Photoshopped” into an artificial environment where it didn’t belong--like a fish floating above the Grand Canyon. Grant realized that if he were just slightly closer he might be able to make out details of the man’s face for the first time. In that moment of thought, a cloud rolled over the sun and obscured all the other’s features.
“You thought about what we talked about, Frederickson?” the man asked.
Grant felt Maddy increase her death-grip around his wrist as she pressed in closer to him, her hip touching his.
“We can make all this go away for you, if you cooperate. What is it worth? Getting your life back?” The Blank Man opened the door to the back seat, displaying Rudy's doggie coffin resting in the dark air-conditioned interior.
Who’s in the coffin, Grant suddenly thought, recalling his dream.
“She knows we have no intention of killing her. There are other methods of eliminating a threat to us that doesn’t require the complications of physical death,” the dark man continued, favoring her with a grimace that might have passed for a smile in some corner of the universe bereft of hope. “Isn’t that right, Madelyne?”
Remember the Future Page 15
