by J. H. Croix
Delia, who Violet had barely met, lightly punched him on the shoulder. “It’s not mandatory and you know it. Although Nick would be devastated if we didn’t play.”
Violet was still trying to piece together all the social details of the group. She knew who went with who. In this case, Delia and Garrett were married and appeared blissfully happy. Yet, she had no idea who Nick was and suddenly worried if she should have some clue. “Not to sound stupid, but who’s Nick?” she asked.
“Our son,” Garrett said promptly. “He loves anything to do with throwing a ball, so we play every year.”
“Got it. Is there anyone here who doesn’t play?” Violet asked next.
Gage was chuckling, which led Ginger to throw a napkin at him. He caught it and neatly folded it before laying it on the table. “You know we all love it, but you are kinda bossy about it,” he said with a wink.
“I think it’s safe to say we’re the only two people here who aren’t playing. I’m definitely out for now until after my surgery, but you should play,” Sawyer said. “I joined a few games last year when I was visiting, and it’s fun as hell. No skills necessary.”
Ginger smiled widely. “See! That’s why you should play,” she said, looking expectantly at Violet.
Violet didn’t care so much about baseball, but she did want to have more chances to get to know friends here, so she was game. “I’m in. Just tell me when and where. You’d better not give me grief for my lack of skills. I’ve never played.”
Ginger slipped her arm over Violet’s shoulders and gave a squeeze. “Perfect! Don’t you worry. All skills levels are welcome.”
“Including none?” Violet countered.
Ginger nodded emphatically before tugging on her jacket, which had slipped down behind her, and standing. “Okay, my work here is done. I need to get home. All you lovebirds are making me miss Cam.” She caught Violet’s gaze. “Next practice is Sunday at three. We play at the high school field. Just drive around back, and you can’t miss it. See you then!” She waved and spun away.
The next few minutes were a jumble of everyone getting their things together and departing gradually. Before Violet realized what had happened, Garrett and Delia were walking toward the door, his hand slipped into the rear pocket of Delia’s jeans, and Violet was alone in the booth with Sawyer.
She glanced to him, butterflies amassing in her belly and a hot shiver racing over her skin at the look in his eyes. She tried to catch her breath, but it didn’t go so well. She swallowed and tried to gather her thoughts. “So, uh, I guess…”
Sawyer cut in decisively. “Don’t go. Not yet.”
Violet desperately didn’t want to go. She was on fire inside and out and wanted to climb on Sawyer’s lap and eat him up. This was a problem—a serious problem. Crazy, burning lust aside, the more time she spent with him, the more she liked him. The more it was also obvious family was central to him, something she couldn’t give him. She stared at him, caught in his gaze. She was tempted, oh so tempted, to give into the thundering roar of desire she felt. Its intensity shocked and terrified her.
She tore her eyes free from his and stood up, so abruptly her knees bumped the table hard enough to send an empty beer bottle toppling over. It rolled off and hit the floor with a clatter, breaking into pieces and effectively snapping the moment of madness between them. Flushed inside and out, she glanced to Sawyer and away to find the noise had drawn the attention of neighboring customers. Perfect. She leaned over and started to reach for the broken bottle when Sawyer’s voice cut in.
“Don’t cut yourself,” he said quickly.
She felt him sliding out of the booth seat behind her, and she quickly straightened. Right, picking up a broken bottle was not the wisest plan.
At that moment, their waitress arrived with a dustpan and broom. She swept up the mess and threw a warm smile in their direction when she glanced to the table and saw the generous tip. Between the group, they’d respectively left a healthy pile of cash on the table for her tip. “Thanks! You two have a good night,” she said before turning and walking away to dispose of the broken glass.
Violet looked to Sawyer who was standing beside her. His eyes held a question in them, and she didn’t care to ponder what it was. She grabbed her purse and jacket. “I have to go,” she said. He was quiet and just stood there, one hand tucked in his jeans and oozing all kinds of sexy military man vibes. All he had to do was stand there and she melted inside. She couldn’t give herself a chance to second-guess herself. She’d plain lost her mind the other night and couldn’t let herself fall deeper into this infatuation with Sawyer. She forced herself to meet his gaze and tried to slow her thundering pulse. “I can’t have dinner with you tomorrow,” she blurted out and started to hurry away. Spinning back, her gaze landed on him again. She was so tempted to forget all of her reservations. Yet, she couldn’t. “I hope your surgery goes well,” she managed and then practically ran out of the restaurant.
Sawyer considered following Violet. Hell, his body was in near revolt because he didn’t. He’d spent the last few hours in a state of perpetual arousal. With her cozied up beside him in the booth, it had been all he could do to keep his hands mostly to himself. The restaurant door swung closed behind her, while he wrestled internally. No matter how much he wanted her, and damn did he want her, something about the look in her eyes kept him from racing after her. There was that and the fact he couldn’t really ‘race’ after anyone right now. Perhaps in another month after his surgery he could. He gave himself a mental shake and slowly walked out.
Gage had left with Marley, so Sawyer was on his own for the drive back to the lodge. He couldn’t help but wonder what put that look in Violet’s eyes. He wouldn’t call it fear because that wasn’t how it felt. Whatever it was, she was backing off and fast. For a guy who hadn’t even considered a woman seriously for years, he didn’t know what to think of his train of thought. Aside from the raw lust Violet evoked in him, she made him curious. He wanted to know everything about her, most especially what was driving her to push him away.
Chapter 9
“Seriously, Jess. You don’t have to wait here the whole time,” Sawyer said, glancing across the waiting room in the surgery clinic.
Jessa gave him a stern look, which was so unusual for her, he burst out laughing. She narrowed her eyes. “What’s so funny?”
He glanced to Becca, his other sister and Garrett’s twin. She narrowed her eyes as well. “We get to be worried about you. You’re having surgery,” Becca said, her blue gaze sweeping over him.
They were collectively waiting at the clinic in Anchorage for Sawyer to go in for his surgery. He hadn’t known Becca was flying up to meet them until Jessa insisted on stopping by the airport. It was barely past six in the morning, and Becca had taken a red-eye flight from Seattle to meet them. She appeared more rested than he felt. Becca was so much like Garrett it tended to amuse the rest of them. They shared glossy dark hair and sharp blue eyes, along with both being brilliant, aggressive attorneys. While Garrett had once been the go-to corporate lawyer in Seattle, he now did legal work for just about everything in Southcentral Alaska. Becca applied her brilliance to being a prosecutor specializing in domestic violence cases. She was less of a softy on the outside than Jessa, but just as warm-hearted underneath. He should’ve expected her to show for his surgery because that’s the kind of sister she was.
He thanked the stars his brothers had enough sense to leave him be. If it were Gage or Garrett going in for surgery, he figured they’d feel hen-pecked enough by their sisters. He glanced from Becca and Jessa and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back in his chair. “Whatever. You can worry, but I’ll be fine. All they need to do today is clean out the bits of shrapnel.”
Becca nodded. “Right, but it’s still surgery.”
Sawyer was about to reply when a nurse entered from the door to the side of the waiting room. He recognized her from when he’d met with her a month or so ago when he first arriv
ed in Alaska. She walked across the room and sat down in a chair across from him. “Are you ready?” she asked with a warm smile. The nurse had a soft air about her. She was round all over with kind blue eyes and curly gray hair.
“Absolutely,” he said with a nod as he stood. “I’d like to say I remember your name, but I’m afraid I don’t.”
“It’s Martha. Who should I check with if there are any complications?” she asked, her eyes flicking from him to his sisters.
“Both of us,” Jessa said firmly.
“We’re his sisters, and he signed releases,” Becca added.
Sawyer chuckled. Leave it to Becca to make sure the nurse knew that detail. She’d herded him to the check-in desk as soon as they arrived and insisted he sign releases so if anything went wrong they could speak with the doctors. He hadn’t minded a bit, but it was so like Becca to take care of all the practical matters immediately.
Martha grinned. “Ah, I see he’s in good hands with you two. Well, not to worry. We’ll take good care of him.” She glanced at her watch and from him to his sisters. “He’ll go in for prep now and surgery is scheduled for eight. He should be out in roughly and hour. You can visit him in the recovery room once they clear him for visitors. Any questions before I take him away?”
Jessa stood and gave him a quick hug, while Becca grinned and gave a small wave. “We’ll be right here. Love ya!”
At that, he followed Martha through the doorway and into a hallway. The clinic had done their best to add warm touches with photos of Alaskan scenery on the walls. Perhaps it was because he didn’t enjoy being injured or the fact that he’d been dealing with the annoying pain in his leg for going on three months now and hated every minute of being physically limited. No matter the cause, every hospital and medical clinic felt cold and sterile. He was beyond ready for his surgery, just so he could finally ditch the pain and figure out what the hell he wanted to do next.
Martha was as warm and kind as her smile. Between her and the jovial anesthesiologist, he was soon relaxing on a wheeled bed as the sedative they gave him took hold. He’d been swatting away thoughts of Violet since the other evening when she cancelled their dinner and left in a rush. Yet, once he started to tumble into the woozy place created by the relaxing sedatives, she sauntered into his thoughts. He wanted to know all kinds of things about her, most specifically what was she afraid of? He didn’t doubt the lightning hot chemistry between them, so he was pretty damn sure he hadn’t misread that. He was a bit unsettled with the depth of his curiosity about her, but right now, he wasn’t. He wished she were here, so he could ask her.
As he lay there, drifting in his thoughts, the curtain in front of the small cubicle where he was waiting rolled back. Martha stepped into the area, resting her hand on the edge of his narrow bed. “We’re about ready for you. How are you feeling?”
“A little out of it, but that’s not a bad thing,” he replied.
She smiled. “Not at all. Any last questions before we take you into the operating room?”
He thought for a minute and then his mouth dumped out the only question he really had at the moment. “How do you know when someone’s really special?”
This had been on his mind for days. Raw, sexual chemistry was one thing. He’d experienced that before. What he hadn’t experienced was this curiosity about a woman, this pull to know what lay beyond the electric connection he felt with Violet.
Martha’s eyes held his, a momentary look of confusion dissolving into kindness. “Ah, you’re floating off and wondering about all kinds of things. You must’ve met someone special or you wouldn’t even be asking.”
“I wouldn’t?”
Martha shook her head. “Nope. It’s when you start wondering that you know.” She gave his hip a pat. “Let’s get you taken care of, and then you can get back to sweeping whoever she is off her feet.”
“You sound pretty confident about that,” he said, pondering in a drifty sort of way that he was usually confident about almost everything. Confidence was an absolute necessity as a Navy SEAL. He’d succeeded in his career by trusting his strength and skills in all situations. Yet, Violet rattled him in ways entirely unfamiliar to him.
Martha grinned. “Oh hon, you are definitely going to sweep her off her feet if you haven’t already.”
While Sawyer was hoping she was right, an orderly appeared and next thing he knew, he was being wheeled down the hallway and into a room with bright lights overhead.
“Mom, you can stop worrying any day now,” Violet said, swallowing a sigh and walking to stand in front of her apartment windows.
She was on the phone with her mother who was worrying about her former fiancée’s new wife posting all over social media about being pregnant. Of course, Violet had seen the posts. The wonderful world of social media was nice for keeping in touch, especially from a distance. However, it made it painfully hard to create clear boundaries when you wanted to separate yourself from an old relationship. She had a number of friends in New York in common with Ted. They’d dated for two years before getting engaged. She wasn’t one to try to shun people and honestly was well over Ted. His abrupt dumping had been harsh, but it actually helped her move on. Coming to terms with her infertility had been more of a battle when all was said and done. She knew Ted wanted kids, so she could mostly find it in her to be happy for him. Yet at moments, it was like rubbing a bit of salt in the wound to see his new wife’s baby bump popping up here and there when shared online by mutual friends.
However, having her mom bring it up was annoying. She’d spent much of her life telling her parents not to worry.
Her mother’s sigh came through the phone. “You are so stubborn. I know you’re fine. If I’m honest, I’m more annoyed about how he treated you, and I don’t think he deserves to be happy,” her mother said.
Violet could actually see her mother’s mouth tighten in a line of disapproval and couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh geez, Mom. Ted did what he did. I moved on. Whether he deserves to be happy or not isn’t really something I worry about much these days.”
“Oh fine. You’re a better person than me sometimes. Anyway, how are you? Your dad and I want to come out for another visit soon. Does it matter when we come?”
As usual, her mother threw more than one question at her. Violet focused on the first one. “I’m fine. Work’s busy, but that’s nothing new. I still love my job. If you want to come visit, just give me a little notice so I can ask for time off when you’re here.”
“I’ll check with your dad tomorrow and we’ll email some dates. I know you love your job and Diamond Creek’s about as beautiful a place as you can find, but do you have any friends? I…”
Violet sensed her mother was about to say she worried about that, so she cut her off. “Mom, you don’t need to worry about my social life. I’m making friends. It’s slow but steady. In fact, you’ll be happy to know I joined one of the local baseball teams this weekend.”
“Oh Violet, that’s great!”
Violet bit her lip to keep from laughing. She was lucky. She had two parents who loved her to pieces, but they amused her at times. After being too worried to let her play sports when she was finally healthy enough to play as a child, her mother was probably ready to do cartwheels over her joining a baseball team now. She was still nervous about going, mostly because she worried about running into Sawyer. Well, worry wasn’t it. No, rather she wanted to see him so desperately she didn’t know what to do about it. She batted that thought away and focused on her conversation.
“You don’t have to get so excited, Mom. I’m glad I’m trying it out, but it’s not like I’m sitting around by myself.”
Another sigh from her mother. “You know, could you just let me care? Just a little about how you’re doing? I know you don’t like that we were overprotective after you got sick, but we were just stumbling along. If I could go back and not be a mother hen, I would. But I can’t. You were very sick for a while, and we were scared. These day
s, it’s different because they know all about how to treat leukemia, and they’re much more confident about recovery rates. Back then, we were terrified. Honestly, even today we would be. It’s scary for a parent to hear their child has cancer. You’re healthy as a horse now, and I feel so blessed. Back to my point though, this isn’t all about me. You’re so brave and strong, but you turn it against yourself sometimes. It’s okay to let people worry. You don’t talk about it much, but I know what happened with Ted was awful. I know you wanted to have children. Even if you end up adopting, it’s still something you had to let go of. So while you’re busy being my amazing, strong, and brave daughter, don’t forget to let people in. That’s all I’m saying.”
Violet was stunned into silence. With sudden clarity, she recognized her mother’s point. She’d had to push so hard against their worry that she hated when anyone worried about her. She always had to be strong, never vulnerable. Sawyer flashed into her mind. When she practically ran away from him the other night, it was her internal sense of vulnerability that drove her. Her body’s out-of-control need for him frightened her and made her feel way too exposed. She was quiet long enough, her mother spoke again.
“Violet? Honey, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay, Mom. I think you might be right,” she said softly. “Let’s make a deal, you can be worried for five minutes every week when we talk.”
Her mother’s soft laugh made her smile. “Okay, deal.” She heard a sound in the background and then her mother’s voice again. “Hon, Mrs. Wellington across the hall needs help with her groceries. Do you mind if I go?”
“Of course not! Tell her I said hi.”
“You got it. Love you,” her mother said quickly, clicking the line off so fast Violet’s return reply was lost and she found herself telling an empty line she loved her.
