He thought: I’d better call Mom today and see if she’s had any chest pains. I should call Detective Hernandez in Vice and ask him if he’s heard of the Queen. I should call Brady and ask him for another advance. I should call John and ask if he thinks Mom needs another doctor. I should call Irene.
He took the bus to the Queen’s parking garage, drove home and took a shower. After that, he checked his messages. His throat felt scratchy. Brady hadn’t phoned, but somebody named Marya whose ex-husband owed her child support wanted him to help her track the absconder into the jaws of justice, and his half-friend Roger was in town, his mother had called, John hadn’t called, a possible warehouse surveillance case danced on his tongue; Helena from Seattle, who’d never let him kiss her breasts, wondered aloud how he was doing; the Detective Institute invited him, for a forgivably small stipend, to repeat the seminar on drug abuse recognition; and the landlord was coming to repair the running toilet sometime around noon, which meant closer to three or four. Junk mail faxes crept across the carpet. Tyler ate a freckled banana for breakfast and made himself coffee. Resting his clipboard on his knee, he began to pad his surveillance report, adding line after line of spurious whores going in and spurious cars going out. That would keep Brady happy. He used up three extra forms that way. Then he tuned his television set to channel seven and clicked the remote three times to find out where his missives to the Queen had travelled. He saw a blue dot, a red dot, a white dot, and a dark grey dot. The blue dot and the dark grey dot were still at Sixteenth and Mission. The red dot was at the parking garage at Larkin Street where he had left it. The white dot, which represented the letter he’d slipped under Shorty’s door, had also moved to the parking garage.
Just a goddamned letter drop, he repeated to himself.
| 26 |
Two months earlier, Irene had become certain that she was pregnant.
Sacramento had received a wet spring. Water still shone upon the black earth, and the buttercups, dandelions and mustard flowers were a sunny yellow in the ditches. On that Sunday afternoon hardly any traffic dared to slow their progress on Interstate 80 West, which thickened the pleasure John already felt in having done his duty by spending Saturday and Saturday night with his lonely mother, whose house was crammed with paperbacks: The Algerine Captive, Growth of the Soil, The Last Temptation of Christ, Mary Webb’s The Golden Arrow; his mother adored Irene, but admonished her, as John did, to lose weight and get a job. Irene tried to smile and respect her because she wouldn’t consider herself a good person if she quarreled with her mother-in-law. Having told her once again that she was too fat, John’s mother served her an immense helping of pork chops and mashed potato with butter, becoming cross when Irene was too full to eat seconds. She admired John’s new tie and wanted to hear all about the Peterson case. John told her, in considerably more detail than he had ever told Irene. Irene, half-listening to her husband and gazing into the old woman’s face, wondered whether she were genuinely interested in her son’s life, simply because it was her son’s, or whether her love allowed her to feign interest. Either way, she was an excellent listener. (Under the table, Mugsy the dog nuzzled Irene’s thigh.) John seemed happier and more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. He asked his mother for advice, which he never did with Irene; he smiled and laughed . . . Deeply ashamed, Irene promised herself in future to express more interest in her husband’s affairs. When dinner was finished, she asked John’s mother what she was reading now.
I’m rereading Dostoyevsky, said the old lady. There’s one writer who’s truly ageless. I’d really forgotten how good he was.
You make it sound so easy, to read all those books! said Irene in her best admiring voice.
Well, of course English is not your native language, Irene (and Irene, smiling graciously, heard some monster in the old lady’s heart crying: You goddamned little Chink!). No one expects you to read Dostoyevsky.
If I were to read just one, which would you recommend?
You heard what Mom said, John told her, a patina of irritation now overlying the happy goldenness of his voice. Why would you bother?
Irene was determined at all costs to be polite to her mother-in-law, but she saw no reason to allow her husband’s condescension to pass unchallenged. —How many books by Dostoyevsky have you read? she asked.
What’s that got to do with anything? Is this some kind of contest?
If it is, replied Irene, continuing to play the good girl, I’m sure that Mom has won. And I know I’ve lost, because I never read anything by Dostoyevsky.
Mrs. Tyler smiled benignly. —Just reading for the sake of saying you’ve done it is cheating. You have to enjoy it. John of course has read everything Dostoyevsky ever wrote. I saw to that.
Is that true, John?
Look, Irene. Can’t we just leave me out of this?
Does he write fiction or nonfiction, Mom?
Oh, my poor dear Irene, said Mrs. Tyler.
And which one have you enjoyed the most?
How could that possibly matter to you? said her husband.
Noting Irene’s bitter grimace, Mrs. Tyler quickly replied: Well, dear, I’d have to say The Possessed, although it’s frightfully sad. It reveals in such depth the stupidity of revolution. I wish that all those terrorists in the Middle East were required to read it.
Maybe they’ve read it already, said John, still sour.
Can I borrow your copy, Mom? said Irene. I promise I’ll read it before we visit you again.
Oh, you’re such a sweet girl, Irene, said John’s mother, starting to clear away the dishes. Irene leaped up to help her.
Sit down with me, Mom, said John. Irene can do it.
Please, Mom, keep John company, cried Irene quickly. John’s right! And he doesn’t get to see you as often as he’d like.
How’s your blood pressure? she heard John say as she came back in for the glass bowl.
Oh, not so good, not so bad. No chest pains today.
John gazed into his mother’s face with a loving, worried look. Irene felt so lonely that she almost screamed.
And how’s your brother? she heard her mother-in-law say.
Unshaven and drinking as usual, said John. (Her wrists deep in soapsuds, she visualized his face slamming shut as it always did when Henry was mentioned.)
There’s something I want you to say to him, John. I don’t want it coming from me, because then he won’t listen. But I know he listens to you. He respects you, John. He loves you.
Turning off the faucet, she heard John’s silence. She heard Mugsy’s tail rhythmically lashing the table-leg. Someone must be scratching Mugsy’s belly the way she liked. Probably John was doing it. John loved Mugsy.
I want you to tell him to find another girlfriend, her mother-in-law was saying. At my age it’s not so important to be divorced. Of course I would have preferred it if Daddy hadn’t left us, but it seems that so many of my schoolgirl friends are widows already. Henry, though, still has half his life ahead of him. Well, almost half, I guess I should say. . .
I’ll tell him, Mom, John said tonelessly.
Irene always had difficulty finding where the spatulas were kept, and she did not want to interrupt the conversation, so she opened drawers one after the other, discovering silverware like grey claw-bones, corkscrews, receipts, medical insurance forms, everything in a clutter. In her own mother’s house everything was just so. Even the tapered ends of the chopsticks had to point in the same direction. Her mother was almost excessively clean, although she paled in comparison to her aunt, who kept everyone’s shoes in plastic bags in the closet at night so that they wouldn’t gather dust. Under the dish drainer, Irene suddenly saw one of her mother-in-law’s grey hairs, and sponged it away in disgust.
| 27 |
I had the strangest dream about Henry last night, Mrs. Tyler was saying as Irene finished drying her hands and came noiselessly back to the table. —Thank you so much, Irene. You’re a goodhearted girl.
Mom, I’m sorry I
couldn’t find the spatula. I put the potatoes away in the fridge in that big bowl.
Never mind, never mind. Do you really want to read Dostoyevsky?
Of course, Mom. What was your dream?
My what? Oh, I was just telling John that last night I had a little trouble getting to sleep. When you get to be my age, Irene, you’ll find that sleep doesn’t come without a struggle. Sometimes I think that’s why old people die. They just get so tired.
I’m sorry, Mom. When John and I go to church I’ll make sure we both pray for your health.
What was your dream, Mom? said John, bored.
Well, I dreamed that Henry had married a princess—a real princess, with a golden crown! Isn’t that fantastic? Oh, dear! And he looked so happy. I think that’s why I’ve been thinking about him all day. I would certainly love to see him remarried. Irene, you’re so close to Henry. Is there anyone special in his life?
Mrs. Tyler asked this question so blandly and straightforwardly that Irene did not at first sense any menace in it. John had without a doubt made several comments about this matter; but Irene was certain that Henry had never said anything about her to his mother.
No, Mom, she said when she realized that they were both waiting for her to say something. Not to my knowledge. But I sure wish he would find someone. Sometimes he seems so unhappy.
At once she was given to understand by the changed expressions of her two interlocutors that she had said more than she should, or at least more than they wanted to hear. It was acceptable for John or his mother to broach the subject of Henry’s sadness, but Irene would always remain an outsider; admitted to the family for a lifelong period of probation, it was not for her to make judgments on the emotions of others. Later, on that Sunday afternoon when she and John were driving back toward San Francisco’s foggy white and blue rectangles, she succeeded in forgetting the frown on her mother-in-law’s face. John was happy. He drove at five miles an hour above the speed limit, smiling all the way home. It was as if he’d received the gifts of the drug Ectasy, which (according to Henry, whom she loved to ask about drugs, none of which she’d ever tried) consists of a drowsy joy which thickens around your naked skin like fur; this is the transformation of every nerve ending in your skin into an excited clitoris; you knead a breast or buttock in your hand and cannot stop because your hand is having a million orgasms; you massage your sweetheart’s back for hours; when you close your eyes and wriggle your fingers you can still see them move; your teeth keep grinding until your jaws most pleasurably ache. Irene gazed at her husband, who drove on, and somehow his very joy overcame her with the familiar intractability of her position, as solid as her room in her parents’ house with its computer, TV, telephone, beads, animal posters, and stickers. Perhaps her cousin Suzy had the computer now. Irene had told her parents to give it to her. Suzy was still in school, and the computer had not yet fallen so far out of date.
They were on the Bay Bridge now, and looking over the edge Irene saw the dark steel ships upon the pale grey sea.
Her husband was still smiling faintly. Summoning her fortitude, Irene said: John, I think I’m pregnant.
| 28 |
Slowly, slowly his head turned toward her.
I guess you forgot your pill again, he said.
Yes, she said.
Well, he said, I hope you’re happy.
How about you? she said. Are you happy?
Mom will be thrilled, he said. Well, it’s a shock, Irene. I won’t deny that.
There was no traffic at the Civic Center exit. He turned right on Van Ness, where the traffic was also abnormally light, and was silent until they got to Chestnut Street, where as he turned he said: Who’s the father?
| 29 |
Mr. Tyler lived in Wyoming somewhere. Nobody had heard from him for years. California’s no-fault divorce laws entitled Tyler’s mother to an automatic half of common assets, but, having kept the house anyway, she let the cash go. John once took her to task about this, because he believed her to be motivated only by an apprehension of being thought greedy, when the simple truth was that like her other son she honestly did not care about money. Possibly Mr. Tyler would have settled some of it on her, had she asked, but by that time neither of them wanted the death of their marriage to drag on. Not long after John had begun to go steady with Irene, he’d proposed in one of his metallic jests that Hank employ the professional knowledge which he presumably possessed to go to Wyoming and seize their father’s assets, his reward to be a ten percent commission on anything collected. —I had an assault case involving that scenario, Hank mumbled. It happened right around the Loki Hotel. This woman made a nice little scar on this young girl’s forehead. You see, she was one of these women who . . . —John walked away, disgusted. And the notion of sending out a Viking raider on their father’s track had died a merited death, much to Mrs. Tyler’s relief. All that was important to her was seeing her sons, which was why every July they drove down to Monterey for a week, that town not being so far away that John couldn’t pop back into San Francisco if he were needed at the office. This year he warned that he could not guarantee his presence in July, because a new client had asked him to prepare some articles of incorporation which it seemed might have ripened exactly to the point of signature by July fifteenth, commencing the infant enterprise’s fiscal year, so he telephoned his mother to ask whether May were acceptable. That would be a pity, of course, Mrs. Tyler replied, because the beach would still be so chilly in that season, but John only laughed and said that Monterey was always cold and she never swam, so what was the difference? As for Hank, he knew how inconvenient it was for John to get away at all, so naturally he would rearrange his schedule as needed. It was a rare sunny day. Mrs. Tyler had installed herself in her hotel room for a nap. Irene lay sleeping on the sand, and her hands met at an apex beyond her head, there by the chair and the empty soda bottle. She had not yet reached that sluggish, langorous, trusting stage dwelt in by so many pregnant women, when the heavy belly makes every breath a burden, and independence must be traded for resignation, with or without hope, depending on temperament. Why not hope? Too late now to kill the fetus, if one ever thought of it. Why not assume the best of the father, and maybe even of the world? The only other course, aside from denial and distraction, would be a despair compounded by its own passivity. C’est sera sera, and so . . . The sun glittered on her watch. Beside her, John lay very still on his back. He was gold from head to toe. The breeze strained patiently inside his swim trunks, and the golden lion’s down on his arms seethed like seaweed in the waves. His chest barely moved. As Tyler watched, busily recording nonexistent license plate numbers in the surveillance report, Irene opened her eyes and looked up at the stubble on her husband’s chin. John seemed to feel her gaze, because his hand slowly rose to touch that very place. His eyes opened also, and he sat up. —I’m getting sunburned, he said. I think I’ll go in and put my shirt on. I need to shave, too.
As soon as her husband had gone, Irene’s eyes widened, and she turned her face slowly toward Tyler’s. Tyler’s heart began pounding.
| 30 |
And how’s the home life? Tyler was saying to his brother.
Great, said John, drumming his fingers on the edge of his beer glass. —Which reminds me. Mother, you’ll want to hear this. We’re expecting.
Oh, John! their mother cried. What fabulous news! When is Irene due?
September.
Where is Irene? their mother said.
She went to lie down.
Has she been having morning sickness?
I don’t think so, Mom, but I’m not a hundred percent sure. Irene’s not a complainer.
John, you are very lucky to have her.
Yeah, I know, Mom. How’s your blood pressure?
It was normal today. Henry, aren’t you going to congratulate your brother?
Congratulations, Tyler choked out.
I think this calls for champagne, boys, don’t you think?
Well,
let’s wait until the baby’s born, said John sullenly.
They sat there, and Tyler said: How’s the Peterson case coming along?
We stopped that conviction dead, said John. Irene and I can count on a good bonus this year. So they’ve asked me to take the T-scam reclamation case. I haven’t refused, although it means I’ll be pretty busy for the rest of the year.
Well, you do have to think of your career, their mother said. You certainly couldn’t have refused. I’m sure that Mr. Rapp and Mr. Singer are to be trusted. You’ve put up with so much for them. Oh, John, I’m so proud of you, and now you’re going to be a father, too! But you won’t leave Irene too much alone, will you? It’s difficult, a woman’s first time. I remember when I was pregnant with you, John, and then your father . . . Henry, you’ll have to look in on Irene even more often than you do. It’s a mercy that you and she are so fond of each other.
Tyler began very slowly to clean his spectacles. —I’ll certainly visit, he said, if I’m invited.
And what about you, Mom? said John smoothly. Irene loves you, too. I’m sure she’d appreciate it if you found time to help her.
I certainly shall. When Irene wakes up I must find out if she needs anything. Has she had a good appetite?
She’s going to eat me into the poorhouse, laughed John. Tyler thought it a brutal laugh.
The fog’s coming in again, Tyler said, gazing out the window.
Well, we were lucky all day with that wonderful sunshine, weren’t we? their mother said. Mugsy certainly enjoyed her walk. Henry, you need a haircut.
A cut or just a trim?
Oh, I’d say you’ve really let it go. What do you think, John?
I’d say he could use a shave, too.
All right, said Tyler a little irritably. I’ll go and get a haircut right now.
The Royal Family Page 8
