by Ni-Ni Simone
“So what?” I jumped in. “You ’spose to be my girl and you were ’spose to have my back, but instead you were stuck underneath Josiah like some lil’ played-out groupie.”
“You just mad ’cause he called you fat.”
“Exactly.”
“But you played us by leaving us standing there,” Deeyah said.
“What was she ’spose to do?” Shae snapped. “Stand there for more insults?”
“Look,” Ki-Ki added her two cents. “Y’all three need to make up. You know we swore no boy was gon’ ever come between the Hottie posse.”
“Girl, please,” I said. “We ain’t the Hottie posse. We lil’ Divas, so be gone.”
“Booyah,” Shae said.
I could tell they wanted to laugh. Ki-Ki smiled. “Seven and Shae”—she playfully twisted her lips—“bump Josiah and Melvin and all the rest of them. We been girls since elementary school and we need to remember that.”
“You must’ve written that down last night,” Shae said, “cause I ain’t impressed. Just know that the next time, we gon’ throw.”
I looked at her. “Why you always wanna beat somebody up?” We all fell out laughing.
“Look, let’s blow this popsicle stick,” Deeyah said, “and be girls again. I know it’s only been a night, but I miss my two Pooh-Poohs.” She pinched our cheeks.
“Ai’ight,” Shae and I said reluctantly. “I guess we can be girls again.”
As we started talking about going out this weekend, Dollah walked by and grabbed Deeyah’s hand. “What’s good, papi?” She winked her eye.
Dollah was short for Million Dollah—a nickname he gave himself because he bragged all over the school that he had a million dollar basketball game. His real name was Clyde Gatling Jr., which he hated to be called. He was the spitting image of Omarion, who I thought was cute but Shae said looked like a broke-down Snoop, minus the perm. Dollah was tall, slim, and had bronze-colored skin. He was center position on the basketball team and was second in popularity and fineness behind Josiah. Which was why I was so blinded by flatter when he showed interest in me last year, gave me his class ring (which I keep forgetting to give back to him), and asked me to be his girl. And at the time, I really liked him, especially since everybody else had a boyfriend and I wanted one, too. The only thing was he never wanted anybody in school to know he was my man. He never paid me any attention in school, only came to my house once in a blue moon or should I say every full moon, and come to find out not only was he seeing half the girls in the school, he was lying to some of the kids around our way that he was pimping me for booty and that I was trickin’ all my Burger King money on him. So, to say the least, I dumped him. One day he spoke to me and I stopped talking to him. Simply kept it movin’. He would call my house and I would hang up on him. Eventually he got the hint and now we have an understanding: Don’t say nothing to me and I won’t have to slap you.
And that’s not the half of it. Josiah and Dollah are archenemies, so what Deeyah was doing holding Dollah’s hand was beyond me. Pretty much Josiah and Dollah are like Shaq and Kobe. They can’t stand one another and everybody knows it. Last year these two got into a great big fight, when Josiah intercepted a pass meant for Dollah and made the state championship’s winning basket. Dollah bum-rushed him and snuck him from the back. The entire gym was in an uproar and what made it worse was that the college scouts were there, recruiting some of the senior players and keeping their eyes on the junior ones.
But for real-for real, I think that the basketball thing is a cover-up for why they really don’t like each other. The real deal, I think, is because of their brothers. Josiah had an older brother, Ibn, and he was best friends with Dollah’s brother, Best. Well, no one knows the real deal. All we know is what the paper reported, and that was Ibn and Best stole a car, they were being chased by the police, the car spun out of control, and Ibn died. Now Dollah’s brother is in jail doing football numbers for Ibn’s murder. So you see, Josiah and Dollah were destined to be enemies. Therefore, what Josiah’s girl was doing holding hands with his archrival was beyond me. All I knew is I didn’t wanna be around when it all went down.
“When you coming to see about me, ma?” Dollah asked Deeyah, looking her up and down.
Oh heck, no he didn’t?! I don’t care if nobody knew we actually went together, how was he gon’ play me and be in my friend’s face?
“Why?” She smacked her lips. “What you got for me?”
“Why don’t you come after school and find out?” he said.
“I gotta wait at least until my mother is asleep.”
“Bet,” he said to Deeyah but looked at me out the corner of his eye. “Stay sweet, ma, ’cause I gotta senior ring I need to get for you.”
“You should have two,” I snapped. “ ’Specially since this your second time in twelfth grade.”
“Dang, Dollah, you that smart?” Deeyah asked. “They keep calling you back, huh?”
“You know how I do it,” Dollah said as he walked away.
We all just looked at Deeyah and shook our heads. “Am I on That’s So Raven and Chelsea has come to life?” Shae snapped in disbelief.
“You being real sexist, Shae.” Deeyah batted her eyes. “I’m real surprised at you.”
“I swear to God, I’ma scream!”
“Anyway,” I said. “Deeyah, so what’s this with you and Dollah? Did I miss something?”
“What?” Deeyah was grinning from ear to ear.
“What’s all that meet me after school and carrying on? What you ’spose to be?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, it sure didn’t look like nothing,” Shae said. “It look like a jump-off contest.”
“You cheating on Josiah?” I asked in disbelief.
“And why are you so concerned with what I’m doing with Josiah?” Deeyah snapped. “And there ain’t gon’ be too many more jump-offs, Shae.”
“Good.” Shae smirked. “Give the male population a rest.”
“That was really racist, Shae.”
The first period bell went off and we all headed to homeroom for attendance. I passed by Josiah as I walked down the hall and instantly I started feeling like a fool all over again. For the first time, he looked me in my eyes and smiled. I wanted to flip him the bird and smack him but instead I waved my hand and kept it moving. Had I looked at him too long I would’ve returned his smile.
Although I was in honors classes, it didn’t mean I never got bored. So what Josiah was doing standing in the doorway ignoring the teacher and coming over to talk to me, I didn’t know. I tried to act like I didn’t see him. Instead, I continued to do what I always did, which was write his name a thousand different ways in my notebook: bubble letters, cursive, fancy print, and matching my first name with his last name, all with hearts encircling them. “I’m so sorry”—he slipped my pen out of my hand—“about the way I treated you, Seven. Please accept my apology.”
“Yes, of course I will.”
He lifted me out of my chair, ran his fingers through my hair, and just as he went to tell me he wasn’t feeling anyone but me, the school bell rang and it was time to change classes. I hate daydreams!
I looked down at my notebook and instead of class notes, I had Josiah’s name written all over my pages. I looked around my class as if I’d just returned from space. I had no idea what had gone on in there, but as we were on our way out, the teacher announced, “Quiz on today’s topic tomorrow.”
Jesus ...
I thought I had my Romeo and Juliet book for English class in my backpack, but I didn’t. It must’ve been in my locker. I had three minutes to go to my locker, get it, and return before Mrs. Flinch threw a fit about me being late, so I took off running down the hall, dodging through the students like they were a maze, and just when I thought I’d made it through with ease, I ran right into Josiah, knocking everything out of my hand and practically pushing him to the floor. As if I hadn’t been embarrassed enough, now he’ll say I was
so fat I almost knocked him down.
“My fault.” I hated that I couldn’t avoid checking him out, but he was so fine, who could resist? He wore a pair of baggy black Enyce jeans, a white tee with the Superman emblem in the middle, but instead of having the letter S in it, it had the letter J, an oversize belt buckle, and fresh Jordans on his feet.
I hurried and picked up my things off the floor.
“Dang, you got somethin’ against being helped?” he asked, handing me my notebook, the one with his name scribbled in it.
I looked at him and smirked. “Nah, my fat ass can do it.” I snatched my notebook out his hand and practically tripped the rest of the way to my locker.
I grabbed the book I needed and slammed my locker shut. As I turned around to head to class, Josiah was leaning against the wall directly across from me with his North Face backpack thrown over one shoulder and his right foot propped behind him against the wall. “Yo ma, for real, you lookin’ kinda right in them jeans.”
I almost stuttered, but I caught myself. “Funny, that didn’t sound like an apology.”
“It wasn’t. It was a compliment.”
Dang, what happened to my mean mug? Why was I smiling?! “This the first time you seen me in jeans?”
“Nah.” He licked his sexy lips. “But this the first time I’m tellin’ you about it.”
My heart dropped and for a moment I couldn’t breathe. “Whatever.” I turned away from him and threw my switch into overdrive as I proceeded down the hall.
“Oh, you playin’ dirty? In a minute I’ma be apologizing to the wrong part of you.”
I batted my eyes and turned around. “What could Mr. All-Star have done that would require him to apologize ... to me?”
“We both know why I should apologize. So you need to go ahead on and accept it. ’Cause technically you owe me one, too.”
Jesus, why do I love him? “Yeah, you wait on that apology.” I sucked my teeth. “Plus, look at how you act toward me!”
“How do I act?” He walked over to me and his breath smelled sweet as it blew across my face.
I was too nervous to step back. “Josiah, you are always nasty to me. And for as long as I’ve ever known you, you’ve played me crazy.”
“But look at how you do me ... and I’ma upperclassman. You supposed to have some respect.” He laughed. “But for real, though. Half the time you don’t speak and when you do, it’s because you thought of new words you wanna try and cuss me out with. I’m sayin’, ma”—he pushed my shoulder-length hair behind my ears—“can ya boy get a break?”
My boy, more like my man.
Please do not ask me how, but him pushing my hair back made me lose control of my backpack and everything in my hand fell to the floor. My English book slid down the hall and my notebook with his name scribbled in it flew open at his feet. We both looked down at the same time and I just knew he saw his name drawn a million times with hearts all over them. He bent down, picked up my notebook, and handed it to me. I was so nervous that I snatched it and practically ran down the hall to pick up my English book. I didn’t know whether to turn around and face him or not, so I started walking toward my class.
“Slow up, beautiful. You don’t have to run.” He grabbed my waist from behind and twirled me around toward him. “It’s cool.” He ran his left hand across my cheek and my dimples lit up.
In a minute, I’ma hyperventilate!
I was cheesing so hard I hadn’t even noticed Deeyah standing in front of us. She tapped the heel of her stiletto riding boot. “My eyes must be deceiving me, Josiah, ’cause I know you not hustling backwards!” She pointed her finger and rolled her eyes. “What is this, Seven? You tryna be me?”
“And why would I do that?” I snapped. “Then I’d be standing there looking at my man playing me.”
“How could you be looking at yourself? When you gon’ catch a hint, he don’t want you?!”
“I can’t tell”—I rolled my neck—“he was in my face and not once did he mention yo’ behind!”
Josiah looked at me sideways, but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what type of game these two were playing but I’m not the one. “Y’all can leave me outta this nonsense.” I rolled my eyes and started to walk away. Josiah snatched me back by my forearm and I felt forced to stand still. Why was this turning me on?
“Don’t do that, ma,” he said. “Don’t kick a buncha ying yang and then take off like what you said was the end-all. ’Cause obviously you two got it twisted. I’m not no lil’ boy and I’m not beat for nonsense, so you running off at the mouth like you tryna be saved and you gettin’ all amped up like you ’bout to do something”—he pointed to Deeyah—“you better dead that, ’cause I ain’t the one. I can kick it to who I wanna kick it to, and I don’t have to ask your permission.”
“Josiah—” she attempted to interrupt.
“I’m talking. And you know what we talked about, so chill. And unless you wanna be embarrassed, you’ll step back to class.” He turned to me. “Your mouth is ridiculous and that’s the part of you I’m not feeling, so kill it.” He looked me up and down and swaggered down the hall.
It took everything in me not to skip behind him and say, “Okay, Daddy.”
I looked at Deeyah and gave her a look that dared her to say something. For a moment, I couldn’t remember why we were even friends this long. Maybe it had something to do with the ridiculous pact we made in elementary school or something like that. But right about now, I could tell that all bets were about to be off.
4
Never know when you might stop by ...
—FANTASIA, “WHEN I SEE YOU”
“Now why you wanna see me fight?” Shae snapped as she rang up her customer and I bagged for mine. We worked at Burger King in Livingston Mall after school for four hours every other day and on the weekends. And we rarely called in sick unless there was a party or a game we wanted to attend.
“Fight? For what?” I handed my customer their food. “You love to brawl, don’t you? I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Oh, you my girl,” Shae assured me while handing her customer their receipt. “We down like a broke ho, but the rest of ya little Hottie posse, we shoulda left them behind when Deeyah became a ditzy jump-off. And Ki-Ki, oh, my God, if she tells the guidance counselor another story about how her mother’s a crackhead and that’s why she can’t do her homework, I’ma smack her. And Yaanah, she ai’ight when she’s by herself, but when she gets around Deeyah, she breaks fly too much.”
“Dang, so why you hang around them?”
“I don’t hang with them, me and you hang, and them heifers just posse fillers. They can be replaced.”
“You a trip.”
“But on the real, sometimes you just outgrow certain people. My daddy told me that true friends don’t come along that often. That’s why you my girl and the others ... I can take ’em or leave ’em.”
“Ohhhh,” I whined. “Boo-Boo, you love me?”
“Stop sweatin’ yourself.”
“Oops.” I laughed as I rang up another customer and handed them their food.
“But on the real”—Shae laughed—“let me ask you a question.”
“What?”
“How do you feel with Josiah being homegirl’s dude and you on him? Like, you my girl and all, but that seem kinda shady, right?”
“Yeah ... I guess, but he came at me. I would’ve never stepped to him. Besides, look at how she all on Dollah and you know they gettin’ it in.”
“But she ain’t know about you and Dollah. Besides, you don’t even like Dollah.”
“So, it’s the principle.”
“But she could say the same thing.”
“Oh well, charge it to the game, ’cause I’m on him.”
Shae laughed. “You so wrong.”
“Besides, heck, who knows? Maybe Josiah was just being nice.”
“Nice? Girl, please. Nice is ‘How are you’ or ‘You look pretty.’ Not stroking your cheek and r
unning his fingers through your hair That’s ‘I’ma tryna see you.’ ”
“So, should I feel bad ... about Deeyah?”
“Nope. You know we gettin’ tired of her anyway. Always thinking she better than somebody ’cause her father’s a city councilman. Besides, does she act like a friend to you with all the slickness she be saying? ‘You look cute for a big girl’ and all of that. Girl, you better than me, ’cause I woulda cussed that airbag out a long time ago.”
“So, if you felt that way, why did you ask me how I felt with Josiah being in my face?”
“Just to be askin’.”
I could tell she was lying. “Why did you ask?”
“No reason.” She laughed.
“Don’t lie.”
“Ai’ight, what if ...”—she stalled—“I told you I was kinda checkin’ for ...”
“For who?”
“Don’t laugh ... if you laugh I’m not telling you nothing else.”
“Who?” I pressed.
“Melvin.”
“Melvin? M-e-l-v-i-n? Big Country? You checkin’ for Big Country?” I couldn’t believe this. “His zits glow in the dark.”
“No, they don’t! Besides, we all have a lil’ acne problem every now and then, and if you look at him, his face cleared up.”
“I can’t believe we’re having this discussion.” I wiped my brow.
“And if you look at him real good he looks like Chris Brown.”
“You mean Bobby Brown.”
“Oh, yeah, Bobby is cute.”
“Ill.”
“I’m just playing.” Shae smiled. “But I think Melvin’s fine. Plus, I like big boys.”
“Okay, Shae. Actually, he’s not ugly.” I swallowed deeply. This was a stretch even for me. “But he is country and you gon’ mess around and he gon’ have you in Murphy-freakin’-boro on the corner of the farm, pimpin’ you.”
“You so stupid.” She laughed. “But yeah, I think he’s cute and he can dress.”
