by Ni-Ni Simone
“Shawtie, please. I’m not lookin’ to turn a special ed hoochie into S.S.I. housewife.”
“That was a good one, Melvin. So let’s see, who else ...” I stalled.
“Wassup with ya gurl, Shae?” he blurted out, like he’d been holding this question in.
“Oh, you diggin’ Shae?”
“Yeah, somethin’ like that. Now don’t get to cryin’ on me, Shawtie. I know I probably just hurt your feelings, but Big Country keeps it real.”
I’m just gon’ ignore that. “So you know Shae is my best friend in the whole world.”
“Yeah, that’s why I don’t want you to start cryin’, ’cause you just got played all the way to the left.”
“You really think you just played me to the left?” He is really feeling himself.
“Girl, you so far on the left, you lost. But Big Country still got love for ya, girl. We just ain’t meant to be. Smell me?”
I couldn’t help it. I started laughing so loud I didn’t know what to do with myself. “Yo, Shawtie, don’t cry. It’s cool.”
That made me laugh even more. Shae and Toi were laughing so hard tears were pouring from their eyes.
“Shawtie,” Melvin said, “what you rollin’ all on the floor, Shawtie? Awl, Shawtie, don’t get nothin’ on yourself ... Get off the floor, Shawtie. You gon’ mess up ya hair. It’s gon’ be alright, we can still be friends. Awl, Big Country done broke ya heart.”
I wiped the tears that came to my eyes from laughing so hard. “Okay”—I sniffed—“Big Country, it’s cool. It’s cool. So when you gon’ kick it to Shae?”
“Tonight at the game. I’m ’bout to throw it on extra hard wit’ Cornbread. I’m gon’ come on so sweet, she might pee on herself. See, I was a lil’ shy with you.”
“Shy?”
“Yeah, I gotta lil’ Michael Jackson syndrome, and I held back some, but when I saw Shae at lunch, eatin’ that burger wit’ gravy on it, and she sopped up the lil’ gravy soup with the corner of the bread, I was like ‘There she is, Big Country’s soul mate.’ Plus, she real fly, smell me?”
“Melvin, Shae likes guys a lil’ calmer. Just step to her and put the Mac Daddy vibe down like ‘Girl, you look so good you make me wanna sing yo’ name in the rain—’ ”
“Shawtie, have you gon’ crazy? No wonder you don’t have a man.”
“You dis’n me, Melvin?”
“Naw, just keepin’ it real.”
“So, you want Shae’s number?”
“Yeah, hit Big Country wit’ them digits.”
“You got a pen?”
“I don’t need a pen, I’m puttin’ ’em in my cell phone.”
So I gave him Shea’s number.
“Cool,” he said.
And before I could say bye, he’d hung up and Shae’s cell phone was ringing.
“It’s him.” She hit me on the arm.
“Dang, he couldn’t wait to dump me.”
Shae’s phone kept ringing. “You gon’ answer the phone?” I asked.
“Nope, I’ma let it go to voice mail and then I’ma call back in about an hour. Make him sweat me a lil’ bit.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s right—make ’im wait.”
For about a half hour more, Toi put the finishing touches on Shae’s hair and then we decided to go sit in the bedroom. I changed out of my pajamas and slipped on some jeans, a chocolate and powder pink hoodie with the Rocawear symbol all over it, and a pair of Chocolate Moose Pastrys.
“I need to see my man,” Toi moaned. “God, I hate this.” She pulled the curtain back and looked at the iron black bars Mommy put on our bedroom window.
“Well, you know Mommy’s working double shift today at the phone company, and then she’s on nights at New Jersey Transit, so she won’t be home until real late.”
“Yeah, but Cousin Shake be all extra wit’ it. If I even look like I’m leaving the house, the first thing out his mouth is, ‘Didn’t yo’ mother shut you down?’”
“So what you gon’ do?” I asked.
She twisted her lips and looked at the wall as if she were deep in thought. “I got it.”
“What?” Me and Shae said simultaneously.
“Look.” She rummaged through my side of the closet and pulled out my Burger King uniform. “Let me get this.”
“My uniform?”
“Yes, Seven, please. You gotta let me get this.”
“Why? What, they rockin’ B.K. uniforms now?” I was looking at her like she was crazy. “Why you wanna wear my uniform? That thing ain’t cute.”
“No.” Her face was lit up like Christmas. “I’ma tell Cousin Shake I got a job and I start today. This way I can spend a few hours with my boo and be back home before Mommy gets here.”
“And what if Mommy asks you about this job?”
“I’ll just tell her I quit, that fast food wasn’t my thing.”
“She’ll never believe that.”
“Yes, she will. You gon’ let me wear it or not?”
“Go ’head, but if you get caught, don’t put my name in it.”
“I’m not the snitch in the family.” She rolled her eyes at me.
“Whatever,” I said as me and Shae watched her get dressed.
Once Toi was done hooking herself up like she really had a job, I opened the door and Cousin Shake and Man-Man practically tripped over each other as the drinking glasses they had in their hands rolled across our bedroom floor. “You were listening at my door?”
“You opened that door,” Cousin Shake said, “like you was ’bout to do something.”
“I can’t believe you were listening to my conversation.”
“We weren’t listening to your conversation,” Cousin Shake insisted. “Man-Man said he heard something about Toi having a job, so I figured I needed to check this out, especially since Grier done kidnapped y’all lil’ love life. Over there on Nye doing naked cartwheels in the middle of the street, actin’ like you come from a pack of wild dogs. If I was ya mama, you wouldn’t never come off punishment.”
“Smell me?” Man-Man smirked.
“Nerd.” I growled at Man-Man.
“ ’Least I ain’t a dog, booty scratcher.”
I wanted to smack him. “Whatever. I’m going outside,” I said, slapping Man-Man in the back of his head.
“And I’m going to work.”
“You go on to work then, baby,” Cousin Shake said, extremely nice. “Who woulda ever thought that lil’ Kim would come outta jail and get a job?”
Since October was still warm, everybody from around the way was outside. Music was blasting from all different directions and cuties were just about everywhere. Shae and I sat on my porch, watchin’ the cars that rode by. “Yo, wasn’t that Dollah?” Shae said to me. “On that motorcycle?”
“Girl, please. Do not mention him.”
“Did you ever find out what was up with Dollah and Deeyah?”
“No, and who cares?” I said.
“I was curious.”
“Well Deeyah knows Josiah and Dollah hate each other, so why would she even go there?” I know I was sounding like a hypocrite, but who cares?
“That’s Deeyah. Anyway, did you hear about Tynasia?”
“Tynasia, Toi’s friend Tynasia?” I asked.
“Yeah, they still girls?”
“As far as I know.”
“So what happened?”
“I heard she’s pregnant ... and word is, that baby daddy be kicking her butt.”
“Stop lying,” Shae said, surprised. “I’d heard that but I didn’t believe it.”
“And you know Habiba, that used to go to Tech last year?”
“Well, she stole Hafisa, who went with Shabazz, her man. And guess what?”
“What?!”
“They both pregnant at the same time.”
We both laughed.
“There ya go, girl.” Shae wiped tears from her eyes and nodded her head toward Ki-Ki who was coming up the block.
“Sh
e ai’ight,” I said, shielding my eyes from the sun.
“Yeah, she ai’ight, as long as she’s by herself. Otherwise she’s a follower.”
“Wassup?” Ki-Ki asked as she stood in front of my porch. “I see y’all over here kickin’ it. Y’all comin’ to the game tonight?”
“And you know this,” I answered.
“For real, I think Central gon’ freak Newark Tech tonight.”
“Girl, you gettin’ high?” Shae said. “We gon’ kill them.”
“For real,” I agreed.
“Yeah, maybe,” she said as she played with her cell phone. “Especially since last year ya boy Josiah was stompin’ everybody on the court.”
“My boy ... where you get that from?” I hoped she couldn’t see me suppressing a blush.
“Come on, Seven.” Ki-Ki twisted her lips while she put her phone away. “You can keep it funky with me. Would you remind her, Shae, that we girls?”
“You need to remind her of that”—Shae frowned—“I don’t remember that well.”
“Oh, my God, we were the Hottie posse way before Deeyah came along. We go back to nursery school. We straight-up girls, and though we don’t hang like we used to, I still consider y’all to be my best friends.”
Shae didn’t seem to be buying it, but I was moved. Ki-Ki had no reason to lie. Deeyah wasn’t around and maybe Ki-Ki was scared not to be Deeyah’s friend, especially since Deeyah thought she could tell everybody, including Josiah, what to do. So what would make Ki-Ki any different?
“Besides,” Ki-Ki went on, “as far as I’m concerned, she stole yo’ man. You were the one feeling him first and she knew that.”
Now that part was true. When we were in elementary school everybody knew Josiah was my boo, but when we got in high school the game changed and Deeyah moved up the ranks. “Yeah, I did kinda feel like she took him from me,” I said.
I looked at Shae who rolled her eyes, like already I was talking too much. But Shae never gives anybody a chance—her circle is mad tight anyway.
“Exactly,” Ki-Ki said. “I thought you felt that way . . . so why don’t you step to him?”
“Well, don’t say nothing”—I looked in her eyes for confirmation she could keep a secret—“but I was kinda diggin’ him in the hallway the other week in school. Girl,” I was cheesin’, “I wanted to kiss him sooooo bad.”
“Oh, my God.” Ki-Ki laughed. “Why didn’t you?”
“Because Deeyah came actin’ all crazy.”
“That was her man, what you expect?”
“I ain’t push up on him, he pushed up on me.”
“Oh, well ... how did you control yourself?”
“I told you, the raving lunatic came on the scene. Otherwise, it woulda been on like popcorn.”
“Dang, girl, I know you be dreaming about him.”
“All day and night.”
“Ill, get away from here!” Ki-Ki said out of nowhere.
“What are you talking about?” I asked as I turned my head toward the street and saw Shae’s mother with the same clothes she had on the last time we saw her. She had crust around her mouth and was giving Shae a toothless grin. “You got two dollars?” she asked.
“No!” Ki-Ki went off. “Don’t nobody have no two dollars, you crusty, dirty-lookin’ bum, crackhead! Ain’t nobody giving you two dollars so you can run and smoke it all up. Find a ho stroll, ’cause I know that’s where you comin’ from.”
“Ai’ight, Ki-Ki, that’s enough,” I said, praying that Shae’s mother didn’t go off and could keep their relationship a secret.
Shae sat on my porch stunned. I wanted to cry for her, because I know she was beyond ashamed. Why would her mother keep doing this to her? I may have been without my dad, but I was thankful I still had my mother and she wasn’t on drugs.
Shae’s mother didn’t say anything, she simply diverted her eyes from Shae’s and walked away.
After a few minutes, Shae rose from the step. “Yo, I gotta get going. I need to walk my little brothers to the Leaguers for karate.”
“Ai’ight, Shae.” I felt like walking behind her and telling her everything would be okay. I knew she needed a friend. “Call me later.”
“I will, girl. Bye, Ki-Ki.”
“Bye, Shae.”
As we watched Shae cross the street to go home, I snapped at Ki-Ki. “Why did you do that?!”
“What?” She looked at me surprised. “It wasn’t no one but a stupid fiend begging for money.”
“No, it was Shae’s real mother! I can’t believe you did that!”
“What?” Ki-Ki looked at me surprised and I noticed she started playing with her cell phone again. “That wasn’t Shae’s mother. Don’t her mother live in Texas or Tennessee or some place?”
“Shae’s mother is a fiend and she’s been one all her life! And I don’t appreciate the way you were talking to her. You ain’t have to say nothin’! Now Shae probably feels like trash. Listen”—I stood up—“I need to go check on my friend, and you need to roll!”
“My bad,” Ki-Ki said with a sly smile as she walked away. “My bad.”
I walked over to Shae’s house and her father let me in. I knocked on her bedroom door before I walked into her room. She was lying on her bed crying.
“Shae.” I paused, because for a moment I didn’t know what to say. “She didn’t know.”
“Who, Ki-Ki or my mother? ’Cause no, Ki-Ki didn’t know,” she said. “But my mother, she knew and she keeps doing this!”
“Well Shae ... she is your mother.”
“No, Seven, you don’t understand. I have given her so many chances to be in my life and every time she told me she was going to get clean or better yet stay clean, I was always so excited. And she always played me. And just when I was ready to introduce her to the world as my real mother so I could stop faking the funk, what does she do? She gets high again ... Do you know I have eight brothers and sisters and she has done this to all of us. Yet, I’m always the one ready to give her another chance.”
“What? I thought it was just you and your two brothers?”
“No, my brothers and I have the same mother and father and that’s why we’re together.”
“What?” I was in shock. “I thought brothers and sisters lived together?”
“Seven, please. Be for real. I have two older sisters. One on drugs, the other one was adopted and doesn’t want anything to do with us. My oldest brother’s in jail and I got a younger sister that’s in a foster home someplace. I don’t know where she is. And really, the last I heard, my mother had a baby and left the baby in the hospital.”
“Wow,” was all I could say.
“Exactly, so I know what I’m talking about when I say I don’t want anybody to know who she is. If people knew my mother was a fiend, I swear to you I would never come back outside or go to school again.”
“Now, Shae,” I said, while thinking that maybe talking up for her, by telling Ki-Ki about her mother, wasn’t such a good thing. “How is anyone going to find out? And you know your daddy is not gon’ let you stop coming to school. So, please. Plus what I’ma do if you don’t come outside? You need to understand you can’t battle your mother’s drug addiction. She’s the only one who can.”
“Yeah.” She sniffed, as she wiped her eyes. “You’re right.”
“Besides”—I laughed—“you know Big Country waitin’ on you to call him back.”
“Oh, I forgot about my husband.”
I gave her a big hug. “Big Country tryna bag you, girl.”
“Shut up.” She playfully mushed me in my head. “And let’s call him.”
After calling Melvin and hearing that his new pet name for Shae was Cornbread, Shae grabbed her clothes and we went back to my house to get ready for the game, all while listening to Neyo’s “Because Of You.”
And for the next couple of hours, before it was time to get dressed for the game, we watched BET, chose what I was going to wear tonight, took my braids out, washed
and flat-ironed my hair. Role-played about what she would say to Melvin and dreamed up a life for me and Josiah.
I couldn’t believe it was raining at the same time we needed to leave for the game, and there was no way after being on lockdown all week I was missing this ... and it didn’t seem that catching the bus was an option.
“How we gon’ blow this popsicle stick?” Shae asked. “Your mother’s at work, my daddy’s car is being fixed, and neither one of us have any men in our lives with cars ... And you know the rain gon’ flake up this gel in my hair and your flat-ironed ’do is a wrap.”
“Word.” I stood at my bedroom window with the curtain pulled back, watching buckets fall from the sky.
I turned around and looked at Shae who sat on my bed, leaning back on her elbows, looking at the ceiling. She was dressed in light blue wide-leg jeans, an Apple Bottoms tie-waist kimono top, and a fake tattoo of four adjoining hearts on her stomach.
I popped my lips together, which felt thick from the MAC clear lip gloss. “There’s a half hour left to game time.” I ran my hands over the signature Coach scarf around my head and pushed my oval shades on top. “And not going is not an option.”
“Heck no, everybody and they mama’s mama gon’ be there. How would it look if we don’t show? Everybody gon’ think we straight corny or some nonsense.”
“Maybe we should just chance it,” I said.
“And mess up our hair? No way.”
“Yeah ...” I dragged out. “You’re right.” I had to think of something, especially since I had on the perfect pair of bootylicious Rocawear jeans with the signature pockets on the back, my hot pink tee which read “Miss Info,” and a braided belt wrapped around my waist.
“Wait a minute, Shae.” A light bulb just went off in my head. “I know somebody with a car who’ll give us a ride.”
“Well, what you waiting on?” Shae hopped off the bed. “Let’s go.”
I just discovered why we call him Cousin Shake, because every time he walks he shakes.
It took me about five minutes of staring at Cousin Shake get ready for his date before I made up my mind that being at the game was worth the aggravation I knew he was about to put us through.
Shae pushed me on the shoulder. “Ask him.”
